Dedicated to Perfectly_Broken25 for being so sweet and awesome, do check out her story 'Loving The Badboy' it's awesome.
With my heart heavily pounding against my ribcage, I took gradual steps down the very familiar hospital hallways.
'Just let him be alright, please just let him be alright.' I chanted over and over as a calming mantra in my head as I walked with Damien by my side.
I took a turn to my right, heading towards the operating theatre, as I got closer I felt myself becoming more and more anxious.
"Hey, Carly, I'm sure he'll be fine, just relax." Damien said calmly as we walked.
I didn't respond, I was far too worried to speak; I had to see him so I could feel at ease or I was sure to lose my mind. I didn't know how all of a sudden this happened; he was perfectly fine the last time I saw him at my graduation ceremony, so how could he all of a sudden...
My thoughts were broken when I spotted Julianne outside the theatre. I ran up to her and asked, "Mrs Clarke how is he? How did this happen all of a sudden? What did the doctors say? Is he going to be fine? Where is he now? W-"
"Carly." Julianne cut me off and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down honey, we don't know anything; the doctors are still busy with him, all I can say is we should hope for the best, and pray he'll be alright."
I took in a calming breath and nodded. "You're right; of course he'll be alright." I attempted smiling so assure myself but something deep inside of me told me otherwise.
"For now I think Mason needs you."
I swallowed and slowly nodded. Juliann was right; Mason needed everyone at his side at this time.
"How are you Damien?" I heard Julianne ask Damien as I walked past a distressed and pacing Mr Clarke. His gaze caught mine and I nodded with an apprehensive grin as a greeting, he returned the nod, only he didn't smile, instead he looked at me pitifully.
I walked over to the waiting lounge and bypassed a few other people, who were also worried about their loved ones that were in hospital too.
I couldn't help but feel a familiar pang in my chest as I stood in the waiting lounge, I hadn't been to that room since the passing of Gramps, I recalled the anxiety and worry I felt for days as my grandfather lay on the dreaded hospital bed, fighting to live but to only have failed in his battle. That familiar chill in my spine and atmosphere welcomed me like an icy winter gust of wind.
I brushed away all unwanted memories, I knew this wasn't the time to think of myself and my past woes; I needed to think of others, others who needed consoling more than I did.
My eyes scanned the room and there in the very far, secluded corner of the large room was the person I was looking for. He was bent over, his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his palms.
I took in another breath and slowly made my way to him, he needed me as a shoulder to lean on now and even though I knew I wasn't the best at comforting people, I had to try and just be there for him, to tell him that everything would be alright.
With his position not waned, I rested my hand on his shoulder and as soon as my hand got into contact with his shirt, he looked up at me. "Mason." I softly said.
His expression was blank, he looked normal with no sign of grief or sadness but I knew him well enough to see the tints of worry in his eyes.
He sat up straight and my hand instinctively moved away. He cleared his throat. "Hi."
I slowly moved over and took a seat next to him. We sat in silence for a while until I looked his way and broke the silence. "How you're doing?"
He didn't answer straight away but took a long few seconds before he spoke. "Weren't you supposed to be in Hawaii?"
"I was about to leave when my mom called."
"You didn't have to drop your plans because of this; after all it's my grandfather that's in a critical state not yours."
I frowned. "What are you saying Mason?"
"I'm saying this is none of your concern, so you shouldn't have to drop everything to be here for an old friend's grandfather." He said flatly.
"Grandpa Mitch isn't just an old friend's grandfather Mason!" I snapped. "He means a great deal to me, more than you know so do not tell me what I should or shouldn't do, I know you're worried but it doesn't give you the right to take it out on me, I'm as worried as you are, don't forget that I've been through this before with my own grandfather!"
I was a tad bit breathless after my rant, I would be lying if I wasn't annoyed at Mason, I understood his condition but it didn't give him the right to speak to me that way, to make it seem like I only cared for Grandpa Mitch because of our friendship.
For a long few minutes, neither I nor Mason said anything, I had to tell myself to calm down and not snap at Mason, I had to control my anger and understand what Mason was going through, but Mason surely made it difficult to not snap at him.
"Sorry." Mason sulkily mumbled beside me. "I should've thought before I spoke."
"It's fine." I replied in the same tone as his. "And I'm sorry for snapping at you, I should've understood your feelings...especially at his time."
There was a brief silence before I spoke. "How did this happen...I mean all of a sudden...how?"
Mason inhaled a deep breath. "I don't know, it was a shock for me too, I mean Gramps never once gave off an impression that he was unwell, until today." Mason paused and I eagerly waited for him to continue. "I was going down to the kitchen to grab myself a bite when I heard one of the servants shout, in a panic. She was screaming and saying something was happening to Mr Clarke. Concerned, I headed to the backyard, where as usual Gramps sat every Sunday, to see him clutching onto his chest and gasping for breath. I tried asking what was wrong but he was in too much discomfort to answer me, the next thing I knew he was in an ambulance and the doctor had to perform an emergency bypass surgery."
I let Mason's words sink in. "So Grandpa Mitch had a heart attack?"
Mason shrugged. "According to the doctor, yes."
"How severe is it?"
"If I knew do you think I'd be sitting here idle, waiting for some news?" Mason said curtly.
Taken aback at his tone and reply I said, "Sorry, I'm-"
"No, I understand you're worried and anxious too." Mason sighed cutting me off. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "It's so damn frustrating sitting here and just waiting, while my grandfather is in theatre, with his chest cut open, fighting for life!"
I cringed at Mason's words, he made a simple surgery sound so vile and it only added to the horrid picture I had of Grandpa Mitch lying unconscious with his chest cut open while doctor's tried to sort out whatever problem he had.
Mason let out a frustrated grunt and went back to the position I saw him in when I entered the waiting room.
I pitied his state; I could see the many mixed emotions he was feeling, I could relate to them. After all, I had felt the very similar way a few years ago when it was my grandfather that was in a critical state, and this time I felt all those emotions resurface, it was like I was taken back to that time again.
I reached over my arm to place a comforting hand over Mason's shoulder but I pulled away when a voice screeched into the room. "Mason!"
Mason sat up and before he could even blink Ashley ran up to him and sat down on the chair on the other side of him. She cupped his face in her hands. "Oh Mason, I came as soon as I heard, I'm so sorry."
"Have you heard anything as yet?" She asked, studying his features.
Mason shook his head. "He's still in theatre."
"Oh poor baby." She whispered and put her arms around him. "It will be alright, your grandfather will be perfectly alright again." She consoled him, running her fingers through his hair.
I watched as Mason wrapped a hand around her, hugging her back.
I thought Amber said that Mason and Ashley had drifted apart, I mean she didn't attend prom and she left as soon as she graduated, without a word to anyone, yet here she was, comforting Mason as if she was his girlfriend.
Perhaps Amber was wrong, I thought. But Amber was right about one thing, Ashley did look different, she had surely gained weight, her normally flawless, supermodel like figure looked more rounded and her face looked fuller. I presumed, she was happy and that's why she didn't bother about superficial stuff like weight and cosmetics anymore.
I had to admit though, that Ashley and Mason did make a very good looking couple indeed, they were both very attractive and rich; they suited each other well. But Ashley had a rotten personality, and that tarnished any outer good she possessed, and that's why Mason and her would never get my approval - not that it counted anyway.
I felt another, odd, almost foreign like emotion stir inside of me as Mason and Ashley sat in their embrace for far too long, Mason looked to enjoy the comfort Ashley offered, he looked a fraction more at ease since I entered the room, and seeing that heightened that emotion.
If Mason was happy with someone like Ashley then good for him, why should I get upset about it right? Sure, we were probably feeling the same way about Grandpa Mitch, after all he meant a great deal to me and Mason but who was he to Ashley? If anyone, Mason should be relating to and letting out his feelings to me, not Ashley.
Ugh, what am I even thinking? I mentally scolded myself, instead of worrying that the man whom I love and think of no less than my very own grandfather is fighting for his life, I'm getting...getting jealous - yes, I was jealous that Mason and Ashley had bonded and developed some type of bond over the few months.
Feeling rather frustrated with myself and a little out of place I stood up and made my way out of the waiting room. After this type of shock, I needed air and Mason and Ashley probably needed some privacy.
"How is Mason?" Julianne asked as soon as I was back in hallways. "Did he speak to you? He hasn't spoken to anyone all afternoon; I was hoping you could break through."
I couldn't help but feel pleased, seeing this new concern Julianne had developed for Mason, it made me happy that he had his mother in his life.
I slowly shook my head. "He didn't say much but I can tell from the few words he spoke that's he's very much worried, but he's putting up a good façade to not let it show or I could say he's being positive and strong and like me, you should admire that and do just as he."
Julianne offered a small smile. "Thank you Carly, I knew I could count on you, you're the only one who understands my son after Mitchell of course."
"I'm not so sure about that..." I mumbled under my breath as Julianne walked towards Mason's dad who was still very impatiently pacing.
"You okay?" Damien appeared beside me.
I was surprised that he hadn't left as yet, I knew he was out of place, this was the Clarke's family matter and it wasn't a secret that the Clarke's and Brinson's didn't see eye to eye.
I nodded. "Yeah but I'll be better once I know Gramps is out of danger and is well again."
Damien gently caressed my arm in a comforting manner. "I'm sorry, I can understand what you're going through, I know he means a great deal to you."
I nodded. "Yeah, he means an awful lot to me and I can't...I won't be able to go through the agony of losing my grandfather agai..." I trailed off as tears prickled the corners of my eyes.
Damien wrapped one arm around me. "Hey, it'll be alright."
I blinked away the threatening tears and after composing myself I loosened myself out of his grip and looked at him. "Thank you for being here with me Damien." I was really grateful for having Damien here, I thought my mom would be here but she wasn't and Damien was the only person who could comfort me; he was the only one who didn't need comforting at all.
Damien smiled. "No problem."
"But you don't have to be here, I know being here, with the Clarke's is probably very awkward for you."
"It doesn't matter, this isn't about how awkward I am around the Clarke family, all I know is that a friend needs me now, so no rivalry or awkwardness is going to stop me from being a there for a friend in need."
"You being here for me now already means a lot to me Damien, I don't want you to feel out of place because of me besides I'm sure your dad must be wondering where you are, you should go."
"But-" Damien began.
"I am alright Damien, really." I smiled reassuringly. "Go on home; I'll call you if I need anything."
"Alright." Damien gave in. "Take care Carly and I'm sorry." He said hugging me.
"Thanks and I'm sorry we couldn't go to Hawaii." I said when we pulled away.
"Maybe after Mr Clarke is out of hospital and well, we can reschedule." Damien said.
"Maybe." I said before Damien turned to leave.
I started making my way to a seat when I saw Mason walking out of the waiting lounge with Ashley. I took a seat on the very uncomfortable chair against the hallway wall and watched as Ashley wrapped her arms around Mason, a few feet away from where I was sitting.
"Take care of yourself Mas and remember if you need anything I'm just a call away." She said breaking the hug but her arms were still around Mason, her face a mere few centimetres away from his.
Mason nodded and pulled away from Ashley, at that sight my lips automatically curved into a small grin, maybe this love story was only one sided. I quickly shook away those thoughts; I had to stop thinking like that, what was wrong with me? Why was I suddenly feeling that way when I saw Mason with Ashley, I knew they had something going on and I'd never felt that way but suddenly I do. I guessed it was probably the worry making me act this way. Yes, I was probably so concerned and worried about Grandpa Mitch that I was finding other ways to distract my mind.
Ashley soon left and I couldn't have been happier, Mason walked over to speak to his parents, I assumed it was to ask if they heard anything when his mom and dad shook their heads. Mason simply looked away and took a seat next to me.
"No news yet?" I enquired.
Mason shook his head.
I sighed and rested my head against the cold wall. I closed my eyes and silently prayed that Grandpa Mitch would be alright, that the doctor would come out and say there was nothing to worry about and he was recovering well.
"Maybe you should go home, I think they'll be awhile, the doctor said the surgery would take hours so there's no point in sitting here." Mason said, causing me to open my eyes and sit up straight. "I'll call you if there's any news."
"No, I'm not going anywhere Mason." I insisted sternly. "Not until I hear what the doctor has to say myself, I will sit here all day if I have to."
Mason, obviously not in the mood to argue, simply nodded.
We sat in silence for a long while. I had to hand it to Mason for being so calm and collected, he showed no sign of distress at all, apart from his eyes, I knew them to well to see through the concern that he tried so very hard to cover.
"You want something to drink or eat?" I asked after a while.
"No, I'm not hungry." Mason answered flatly. "You?"
I shook my head. "I'm all good."
We remained in our seats for a long while, Mr and Mrs Clarke walked off into the nearby waiting lounge while Mason and I sat idle, waiting for some sign of the doctor.
I ran a hand through my hair, I felt a type of churning and twisting sensation in my stomach as each second passed, I was doing my best to hold it together and keep strong but it was getting harder and harder.
I began fiddling with the hem of my shirt, and then rubbed my clammy palms over my jeans. I crossed my legs and then uncrossed them; I found the littlest of things to distract me. I had no idea how Mason could sit so still, he had his head against the wall with his eyes closed.
I let out a sigh and ran a hand over my face before looking at my watch.
"Could you keep still!" Mason snapped.
"S-sorry." I hesitantly mumbled. "It's just, I... oh never mind, sorry."
Mason's annoyed expression softened when he looked at me. "You don't look so well Carly, you look pale."
"Yeah, well I don't feel so well, this waiting is killing me!"
Mason rested his large hand over mine and as soon as his skin got into contact with mine, I felt as if a ton of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Something about his touch caused my nerves so calm down a bit. "Just be positive, that's how I'm keeping it together." He said giving my hand a small squeeze.
I nodded in response.
"Can I get you some coffee?" Mason asked.
I shook my head. "I don't want to eat or drink anything." I murmured.
Mason opened his mouth to say something but just at that instant a doctor in blue scrubs walked down the hallway.
Mason immediately stood up and I knew he must be Grandpa Mitch's doctor. I followed Mason's trail until we were face to face with the doctor. "Dr, how is he?" Mason asked in one breath.
"Where are your parents?" The doctor asked.
"I-I'll go get them." I said and ran into the waiting lounge to call Mr and Mrs Clarke.
Mason's parents rushed out of the lounge with me and the doctor called Mr and Mrs Clarke to his office. Mason and I had to stand outside while he spoke to Mason's parents.
Mason paced back and forth, with is hands behind his head. "What's so important that he has to speak in private?" Mason asked, exasperated.
What was literally only about ten minutes felt like an eternity when Mr and Mrs Clarke walked out of the doctor's office.
"Well, what did he say?" Mason asked a wearisome Mr Clarke.
Mr Clarke put a hand on Mason's shoulder and just seeing that gesture made my insides churn. "Son." Mr Clarke began.
"Cut the crap dad; just tell me as it is." Mason cut him off brusquely.
Mr Clarke let his hand drop to his side and just by the way his shoulders were slumped, I could tell nothing was alright. I stepped closer to Mason and my hand instinctively closed around his.
"Well?" I breathed.
Mr Clarke looked at me then at Mason. "He's critical and unconscious, the doctor said nothing can be said at this moment other than his vitals are very low. I'm sorry kids."
I swallowed and felt my body go cold, this was not good; it was very bad. Grandpa Mitch, my jolly, humorous, clever and special Grandpa Mitch was unconscious and critical. This was all too familiar; it was like with my Gramps all over again.
"You're a smart girl and you know nobody can live forever." My mind played back the words Grandpa Mitch told me the last time we were at the park together. Could he, like my own Gramps, have known that he was unwell?
"They're moving him to the ICU and he can't have any visitors for a couple of hours, I suggest you two head on home, get some rest and you can come back later." Mr Clarke said.
"Julianne and I are going to sign some papers in the front and we're going home, we'll be back later. Carly, you and Mason should do the same." He added and turned to leave with Julianne.
I felt Mason's hand tighten around mine, so tight that I lost some feeling in it but I was too lost in my thoughts to bother. Mason and I just stood there for a while before I composed myself and reminded myself that I needed to be strong for Mason; he needed to know that he wasn't alone in this.
Taking in a much needed breath I tugged on Mason's arm. "Mason, your dad is right; we should go and come back later."
Mason didn't answer but just stood there, motionless with his hold on my hand getting tighter.
"Mason." I said softly and used my other hand to touch his arm. That seemed to work when he looked my way and when he did I saw that he was as pokerfaced as always, his expression showing no sign of distraught. "We should go."
Mason nodded and cleared his throat. "Yeah, let's go." He agreed and finally let go of my hand. I rubbed on it slightly, feeling a small burn over the overly red skin.
Mason and I walked towards the exit of the hospital in silence but we came to halt when we passed the ICU section. My breath was stuck in my throat and it felt as if I swallowed my heart when I saw two nurses wheeling a hospital bed with Grandpa Mitch's motionless figure on it.
They passed us and I got a clearer view of Grandpa Mitch, I covered my mouth with my hand, blocking out a sob as I looked at my once jovial, smiling Grandpa Mitch lying unconscious and looking very, very pale with many tubes attached to him and an oxygen mask covering his face. Grandpa Mitch looked nothing like the man I adored and loved, he looked nothing more than a lifeless body.
The bed passed us and Mason and I had to move out of the way when they pushed open the doors and wheeled the bed inside the ICU. I felt tears roll down my cheeks as the doors automatically closed and the nurses with Grandpa Mitch disappeared.
A sound came out of my mouth, I could no longer hold back the sobs, seeing Grandpa Mitch like that not only brought back terrible memories but was heart-clenching, he looked so helpless and ill and lifeless.
I shut my eyes tight as more tears escaped and I broke into more sobs, I knew it was wrong of me to break down in front of Mason when Mason was the one who needed consoling more than ever, but I couldn't help it.
Mason pulled me towards him and I buried my face in his chest and wrapped my arms around him tightly. Mason rested his chin over my head and his arms were firmly around me. We didn't say anything but just stood there for a long while, finding comfort in each other.
* * *
"Good morning, want some breakfast?" I was greeted by my mom in the kitchen.
I shook my head. "Just coffee." I murmured and poured myself a large mug full.
My mother sighed. "You've lost a terrible amount of weight already because of the coma and now you're not eating, you've got to eat Carly or you're going to fall ill."
"I'm fine, mom, really, you don't have to worry about me." I insisted.
"If you were in my shoes you'd be pretty worried about you too."
I sighed. "Mom, how can you expect me to be all merry and cheery when Grandpa Mitch has been lying unconscious in hospital for five days with no improvement?"
My mother walked around the Island counter and wrapped an arm around me, giving my shoulder a little squeeze. "I know this is hard for you, it's like your grandfather all over again but you're now older and you understand how life operates more, sometimes certain things aren't in our control and we have to accept what's meant to be. Yes, being worried is perfectly normal but it doesn't mean you should neglect your health."
"I'm not neglecting my health I just don't have much of an appetite... but if you insist, I'll have some French toast."
"Good girl." My mother smiled and made her way back around the counter to probably get me my breakfast.
I sat down on a stool and took a sip out of my coffee. I thought over how tensed and slow the past five days have been. I've been up and down to the hospital, hoping for some sort of improvement in Grandpa Mitch's condition but to no avail. Grandpa Mitch had been critical and his condition hadn't improved nor deteriorated, if anything was keeping me sane and holding onto that bit of hope was that his condition hadn't worsened.
Mason hadn't shown much emotion, he was worried but he seemed far more relaxed than I, Julianne however told me that he wasn't eating and was secluding himself away from anyone; he barely spoke to me even.
"What time are you off to the hospital again?" My mom asked, breaking away my train of thoughts.
"Around noon." I answered as she handed me my plate.
"Why don't you skip the lunch time visit and go in the evening? You could do with a nap sweetie; Liam says you came home late last night."
"No, I don't want to be absent if Grandpa Mitch has to wake up, I want to be there and for the millionth time mom, stop worrying, I'm perfectly fine."
"Okay, okay, I'll leave you to your breakfast while I go get dressed." She said and kissed my forehead before she made her way out.
I'd barely taken two bites when I heard my phone ring, I felt my heart rate pick up whenever my phone rang, I always thought it was news about Grandpa Mitch. I reached for my phone and felt my heart beat even louder when I saw who was calling, Mason. I was anxious to pick up but also afraid, this call could mean anything, good or bad.
I took in a deep breath and answered. "Hell-"
"Carly!" Mason sounded breathless. "Carly, I'm coming to pick you up now, we need to go to the hospital!" he ranted in one breath.
I felt a blood rush, my skin prickled. "What happened?" I breathed.
"Gramps is gaining consciousness." Mason sounded elated.
All worry had disappeared at his four words and was replaced by relief and complete happiness. "Oh thank God, I'm waiting, come quick!" I said and hung up.
I was no longer in the mood to eat or drink or do anything, all I wanted was to get out the house and get to the hospital as soon as I could.
Within a few minutes I heard Mason's car pull up our driveway, I smiled and headed for the front door.
"Good morning Carls, you look happy today." I was greeted by Liam, who just climbed down stairs.
"Morning Liam, I'm thrilled and I gotta go, see you later, bye." I said in one breath and shut the front door.
Mason was in the driver seat and I immediately opened the passenger door and got in the car. As soon as the door closed, Mason pulled out of the driveway and he sped to the hospital.
We hastily got out of the car once we reached the hospital, neither one of us said a word to each other as we walked towards the hospital entrance. I had to jog to keep up with Mason's long legged, speedy stride.
"Oops!" I cursed under my breath when I nearly tripped and fell over my laces.
Mason held onto my arm just in time. "You okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah, just a little clumsy."
Mason took my hand in his and we walked towards the ICU section. I think Mason's heart with mine was beating in anticipation as we rounded a corner and reached the ICU rooms.
"Your parents know?" I asked.
"Yeah, my dad called and told me. He'll probably be here in a bit."
We caught sight of Grandpa Mitch's doctor and Mason stopped him. "Doctor, my grandfather... I mean Mr Clarke, I heard he regained consciousness?"
The doctor looked as usual, very stern and slowly nodded. "He did, yes."
"Can we go see him?"
"I'm afraid only one visitor is allowed at a time."
Mason looked at me and I nodded him towards the door, loosening my hand out of his. "Go see your Gramps Mason; I'll wait here until you're done."
"Mr Clarke already has a visitor, you'll have to wait until he's done to go in." the doctor cut in.
Mason and I frowned. "Who?" asked Mason.
"The patient's son, your dad." The doctor said and walked off.
Mason and I stood there for a while until Mr Clarke walked out. His expression was unreadable until he looked up and he smiled, however I could tell that he was forcing a smile, something was wrong, I could tell by Mason's dads expression.
"Dad," Mason ran up to him. "How is he?"
"He's awake and he wants to see you."
Mason nodded and walked off without a second glance.
Mr Clarke looked at me with a small smile and started down the hallway. I frowned and took a few steps towards him. "Where are you going?" I asked when I caught up with him.
Mr Clarke stopped walking and looked at me, something about his eyes made my stomach knot. "What is it Mr Clarke?" I asked in a whisper. "Is Grandpa Mitch-"
"Carly." Mr Clarke cut me off softly. "You should go and see him, he'll want to see you, I've got something to do... phone calls to make; I'll be back in a bit." He said and left before I could answer him.
I was left with a strange feeling bubbling inside of me, something about Mr Clarke's look was familiar to the look my father held when my Gramps was in hospital and that thought frightened the hell out of me, why was Mr Clarke being so nonchalant?
"Miss Carly?" I was broken out of my reverie by a nurse.
"Yes?"
"Mr Clarke has asked to see you, if you could please follow me." she said politely.
I nervously nodded and followed her to Grandpa Mitch's room, my palms were getting sweaty and my heart was hammering in my chest. Why was everyone acting so strange and why was I allowed to visit Grandpa Mitch despite Mason already being there?
The nurse stopped at a door and stood aside, gesturing me to go inside. I glanced at her and swallowed as I slowly stepped into the chilly room. I heard beeping as I entered and I could see the foot of the bed Grandpa Mitch was lying on.
I stopped dead in my tracks as Grandpa Mitch came into view, I had to force myself to not break down and cry because I didn't expect to see what I saw.
I expected to see Grandpa Mitch sitting up with his usual charming grin, with that usual spark his blue-grey eyes held and with not one tube or machine connected to him, I expected him to look like his usual bubbly, cheery self but I was wrong.
Grandpa Mitch had a lot of tubes attached to him, he was lying flat on his back and he looked as pale as a ghost, he looked devoid of any warmth, his eyes were semi-opened, his lips looked powdery and his eyes dull, lacking of any type of - as horrible as it sounded but of any life.
I glanced at Mason, who was standing with his shoulders slumped at the right side of Grandpa Mitch's bed, his happy, hopeful expression from a few minutes ago seemed like a thing of my imagination, Mason looked utterly miserable.
I took in a shaky breath and ran a wobbly hand through my hair; I needed to keep it together, for Grandpa Mitch's sake and Mason's.
"Car-Carly?" I heard a hoarse like whisper come from Grandpa Mitch's bed. Hearing his voice sounding so weak and drained made me want to break into a flood of tears.
I took faster steps until I was beside him, my heart was stuck in my throat as I saw the once full of life man looking so helpless and detached.
I plastered on a smile. "Hey Grandpa Mitchy-kins." I attempted a cheery voice.
"I-I'm so h-happy to see you darling." Grandpa Mitch grinned faintly. "A-although I hate that you have to..." he paused and scrunched his face as if in discomfort. I instinctively reached forwards but stopped when he looked at me with a straight face again and continued speaking, "that you have to see me looking like this."
"You look as handsome as ever Gramps." I said with a smile.
Grandpa Mitch probably tried snorting but the tube in his nose prevented his from doing so. "You're a terrible l-liar; you and I both know I look worse than crap."
"No way." I shook my head. "I bet many of the nurses tried flirting with you."
Grandpa Mitch's lips curved. "C-come to think of it, the one did stare at me for much longer than needed."
I sniffed and chuckled. "You'll never change Gramps." I shook my head.
Grandpa Mitch closed one eye lid very slowly and winked. "Only being honest."
Grandpa Mitch stretched open his hand towards me, I took his hand in mine and I watched as his eyes turned to Mason, who was very quiet and still in the same corner. "M-Mason." Grandpa Mitch called.
Mason didn't move an inch, he stood immobile with his head down and arms crossed. "M-Mason, son." Grandpa Mitch called. "Please, come here."
Mason didn't move so I spoke. "Mason." I said softly. "Please listen to your grandfather."
"For what?" Mason snapped. "So he can leave and give me some crap story?"
"Mas-"
"Don't Carly!" Mason snapped raising a hand. "Do not give me some goddamned lecture, I don't need it!"
"Please son." Grandpa Mitch pleaded weakly. "For your old man, please come here before it's too late."
Grandpa Mitch's words hit me like ice-water. Before it's too late? I closed my eyes and felt a tear at the corner of my eyes; this was exactly the same as my Gramps.
I opened my eyes and felt Mason's presence beside me. "What?" he asked, his voice emotionless and flat but soft at the same time.
"I want you to promise me you'll make your old man proud, I want y-you to promise you'll grow to be a man I always dreamt of you to be, I want you to promise you'll live with all my teachings and I want you to promise me you'll always show off that charming smile you inherited from me and be happy."
Mason's jaw tensed and he blinked a few times. "I don't need to promise you anything, you should be here with me to make sure I can do all of that." he stated dryly.
"Mason, for me." Grandpa Mitch's eyes glazed with tears as he pleaded with his grandson. My heart was tearing into a million pieces as I watched a helpless old man try and reason with his stubborn grandson.
Grandpa Mitch took in a few deep breaths. "If it was in my hands, I would be with you e-every step of the way but this is out of my control Mason." he said getting breathless.
I panicked. "Gramps, I should get the doctor."
"No!" he said adamantly. "I want to talk to you - the both of you."
Grandpa Mitch stretched his arm a fraction further, hinting for Mason to hold it. I slowly moved my hand. "No, don't move away." Grandpa Mitch stopped me.
"My boy." Grandpa Mitch said to Mason and after a moment of deliberation Mason put his hand over mine and Grandpa Mitch's.
A small smile crept over Grandpa Mitch's lips. I watched as Mason's Adam apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. He closed his eyes and his hand tightened over ours. "I promise Gramps." He whispered.
"Thank y-you." Grandpa Mitch hoarsely whispered. "And I'm so sorry, so sorry for having to leave; I wish I could stay longer, oh how I wish I could see the two of you grow up into wonderful adults and make something of yourselves...oh how I wish." He said the last bit in a whisper.
I felt more tears fall down my cheeks. "Gramps." I whispered.
"I love you Mason." he whispered, looking at Mason and then his eyes slowly moved to me. "I love you Carly, you are the granddaughter I always craved, thank you my dear."
"Gramps..." I let out a choked sob.
"No, no, d-don't cry darling, please don't. If there's anything I hate more than alcohol and food restrictions is tears, I h-hate those dreadful things, you look much prettier when you smile."
I sniffed and wiped my cheeks. "Don't go Gramps, please, I love you Grandpa Mitch, don't leave me... don't leave Mason...Please."
Grandpa Mitch took in more gasps of air and I watched a tear rolled down the corner of his eyes. "I wish I didn't have to."
I used my free hand and wiped away his tears. "I hate tears too and you look awful when you cry."
"Liar." Grandpa Mitch said in a gasp. "I n-never look awful; I'm California's sexiest over sixty."
I laughed through sniffs and tears. "That you are."
"Always smile like this." He said seriously and looked at Mason, who was standing nonchalantly beside me. "I will always be looking over you... the both of you. I will always be there for you Mason, even if you can't see me, I will be there."
Mason's jaw tensed tighter and he abruptly let go of my hand. He cursed under his breath and stormed out of the room.
"Mas-"
"Let him be." Grandpa Mitch cut me off. "It's his own way of dealing with this."
"Carly, I want you to promise me something too."
"Anything." I whispered.
"Promise me you'll finish off my incomplete task."
"I don't understand." I frowned.
Grandpa Mitch seemed to be getting more and more breathless. "P-promise me you'll h-help Mason grow into a responsible man, make him realize his responsibilities and help him grow up. You're the only one who can do that and that's why I'm entrusting you with this responsibility."
"I promise to do all it takes to assist in nurturing Mason into a man from a boy."
"T-thank you dear." Grandpa Mitch grinned. "I think I can rest at ease now."
I brought his hand to my cheek. "Gramps, I don't want you to go." I said as tears profusely ran down my cheeks.
"I know, but death is a part of life and we have to accept it no matter how hard the task" He whispered.
I shook my head and cried more, holding his hands tighter.
"Hey Carly, I have a question for you." Grandpa Mitch asked.
I looked at him. "What?"
"Got any message for the old man, your Grandfather, I know I am going to beat his losing ass at chess once I meet him." Grandpa Mitch attempted to chuckle.
Grandpa Mitch thought of being funny even at a distraught time like this. "Gramps." I wept and shook my head.
Grandpa Mitch's breathing was getting more and more uneven, he was gasping for air and I looked at the machine beside him. His pulse was dropping drastically, his chest was heaving up and down.
"Grandpa Mitchell!" I said panicky.
"Last chance Carly-bear, anything to tell Gregory?"
"Grandpa Mitch!" I was alarmed. "Doctor! Nurse! Mason!" I yelled as I held tighter onto his hand.
"Hold on Gramps, please." I pleaded.
"T-tell," he gasped. "Alison, your Nana," Another gasp. "T-that I liked her s-silver hair and..." another two gasps. "And...I said she should...s-smile more often." He grinned.
Mason came running into the room. "Gramps!" he shouted his eyes wide and mouth agape.
Grandpa Mitch grinned at the both of us, he lifted his finger and pointed back and forth between us and then winked. "L-love y-you..." he trailed off as the doctor and nurses came rushing into the room.
"Get the oxygen mask and defibrillator now!" The doctor demanded.
The doctor pushed me aside and the contact between mine and Grandpa Mitch's hand broke. The panicked voices were echoes and I was pushed away further from him. I watched horror stricken as Grandpa Mitch's body jerked upwards as the doctors shocked him. I looked at the machine and his pulse was dropping more and more.
"You two have to leave now." a nurse demanded.
I held onto Mason's arm and soon the two of us was pushed outside the room and panicked voices of the doctor and nurses reached my ears.
Every inch of my body went ice cold, my voice was stuck in my throat and my skin prickled all over in worry and utter distress. This was it, I thought, this was the end of Grandpa Mitch.
I looked at Mason and he had no emotion on his face whatsoever, he was just standing there like a pole for me to lean on.
I soon heard the panicked voices stop and everything went quiet, all I could hear was a steady beep. My breathing was coming fast and I clutched onto Mason's arm tighter.
All of my insides churned as the doctor walked out of the room, he looked remorseful at Mason and I. "I'm sorry, he's no more." He said and it felt like my world just stopped. I had lost another grandfather; Mason had lost the only parent figure he ever had.
Everything froze and I looked at Mason with wide, shocked eyes. Mason gave off no emotion but I could feel how limp his body went. Like me, I assumed Mason couldn't believe that Grandpa Mitch was gone, he was no more; he was dead and would only be a memory.
As this horrid fact dawned over me I felt as if my knees had given up. I leaned against Mason and his hold somehow tightened around me. "No." I sobbed and buried my face into the crook of his neck. I tightened my arms around Mason, holding onto him as if my life depended on it, feeling more and more tears falling from my eyes.
Mason held onto me tightly too and it was at that moment I realized he had just accepted the fact that his grandfather was dead and like I was with him, he too held onto me for support and comfort.
* * *
When I pictured my summer before I had to leave for college, I had never, in my wildest dreams thought I'd be attending a funeral of someone who I dearly loved and cared for.
Two days had passed since the passing of Grandpa Mitch and I was standing in the graveyard where Grandpa Mitch had just been put to rest in the ground.
Seeing the amount of people that turned up for his funeral told me just how well known and respected Grandpa Mitch was, there were endless cars and many, many different faces I'd never seen before, from relatives, to friends, to business associates, they were all here to pay their last respects.
I stood aside with Liam while my mom and dad went to pay their condolences to a very sad looking Mr Clarke.
I stood with my hands together in front of my black knee-length dress and stared at the large marble tomb with Grandpa Mitch's name engraved.
The tears never seemed to stop, I felt the same way as I did when my Gramps died, only this time I allowed myself to cry, and crying is all I've done since Grandpa Mitch's death. Mason however, hadn't shed a tear, neither did he utter a word to anyone; it was like he had turned to stone.
"I'm sorry Carly, I know Mason's grandfather meant a great deal to you too." I looked up to see Carter standing opposite me with a pitiful expression.
I slowly nodded. "Thanks Carter."
Carter placed a hand over my shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. "I know this is a wrong time to say it, but Mason needs to talk to someone, he's not responding to anyone, not even me. There is only one person who can break through to him and you and I both know you're that person Carly, it's a difficult time but you need to help him get through this or he'll lose his mind."
My eyes travelled to where Mason was standing, beside the tomb of his grandfather with his hands at his sides and his head hanging low. He didn't make eye-contact with anyone who came over to sympathize; he just stood there, immobile.
I looked at Carter again and wiped away my tears with a tissue. "You're right, I'll do my best."
Carter offered a small grin and walked off to stand with some other friends of Mason's. I was surprised that Ashley didn't turn up, she came over to see Mason a day after Grandpa Mitch died to offer her condolences but she left shortly. Damien called to say he was sorry that he couldn't be here with me, he was in Europe somewhere with his dad and he offered to come but I told him not to and tried convincing him I was fine.
"You alright here?" Liam asked.
I nodded. "Yeah."
"I'll be right back." Liam said and he walked towards Mason's dad.
I stood in my spot, watching different faces conversing with one another; some were heading towards their cars probably off home.
"Hey." I turned to see Amber stand next to me with a small grin.
"Hi." I replied flatly.
"I never thought I'd see the day I felt sorry for Mason, he looks so distraught."
"He just lost the only person he could call his parent, of course he'll be sad, if only he'd open up and cry or do something." I said with my gaze on Mason.
"Yeah Nate was saying he's like a zombie on a silence vow." Amber said under her breath.
"Maybe he just needs time, it's probably still such a shock for him." she added.
Amber touched my arm. "How are you doing, Carly?"
"Alright I guess." I murmured.
"You don't looks so alright, Nicole said you haven't been eating well and you've isolated yourself to your room, that's far from alright."
"I'll come around eventually."
"Just know if you want to talk, I'm always here."
I nodded. "Thanks."
"Everyone is heading to the Clarke house, for tea. You coming?"
"I'll be there in a bit, you carry on." I said.
Amber nodded and with a small smile she walked off, catching up with Nate.
"Honey, your mother and I are leaving, you coming with us or will you join your brother?" My dad asked me after a few minutes since Amber walked off.
"With Liam." I answered.
"Alright, see you later." He kissed my forehead and walked towards the car.
The cemetery was getting empty as people all filed out towards their cars, probably heading to the Clarke residence for tea. I watched as Mr Clarke tapped Mason on the shoulder after murmuring something and left.
"Carls, you ready to go?" Liam asked me when there were no more than five people left in the graveyard.
I looked at Mason, who didn't move an inch from his spot. "Carly?" Nicole asked.
"Hmm? Yeah, can you guys give me a second and wait for me in the car? I want to go speak to Mason."
"Do you think it's a good idea to talk to him now, I mean-" Liam was cut off when Nicole held onto his arm and slowly shook her head.
"It's alright Carly, take all the time you need; we'll be in the car." She said softly before she and Liam walked off.
I slowly strode towards Grandpa Mitch's tomb. I held back the tears when I bent down and slowly caressed over his engraved name. Grandpa Mitch was six feet underground; all that was left of him were his memories. No one would ever see his dimpled smile, his funny but cheeky comments; nobody would hear his hearty laugh and chuckle. No one would be sitting in the backyard lawn every Sunday morning, waiting for me to come over with brownies and make him a cup of coffee while he read his newspaper or had young Brazilian aerobics instructors over. There was no longer any one I would walk with to the park to go and feed the ducks, no one would share words of wisdom with me, Grandpa Mitch was no longer here to be there for me as a grandfather, he was really gone and never coming back and all I could do was live with his memory.
I swallowed as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks again. "Sleep tight Gramps." I whispered and blew a kiss at the tomb.
I sniffed and was about to stand up and make my way to Mason - who was a mere feet away from where I was - or so I thought, because just as I was about to stand I saw two shiny black shoes appear in front of me.
Mason leaned over and opened his hand in front of me, offering a hanky. I looked at the hanky in his hand then at Mason's eyes that were looking, emotionlessly down at me. "Go on; use it to dry your tears." He said.
I took the hanky from him and as I stood up, Mason straightened up too. "Thanks." I croaked and wiped away my tears.
"Don't mention it." Mason said in a normal tone as he loosened his black tie out of his white shirt collar. "Ugh, got to hate funerals, the required attire is a mission to put on and take off." He whined loosening the tie and opening two of his shirt buttons after unbuttoning his suit blazer and taking it off.
"Feeling better?" Mason asked after a moment of silence while I watched him try to act normal.
"I should be asking you that."
"Well look at me." Mason said and opened his arms in a surrender type of position. "Don't I look well? In fact I'm just glad this funeral is over, do you have any idea how frustrating it is to stand idle for hours while people cry and hug you?"
"I can tell that you're trying to look well." I murmured, watching him closely.
Mason scoffed and shook his head. "You always think you know everything don't you?"
"Mason." I began slowly and took a step towards him but he backed away.
"Don't start that consoling I-give-a-damn-about-you crap Carly." He snapped. "I don't want your sympathy, I've had enough of that to last me a last time."
I frowned. "It's not sympathy Mason." I said weakly.
"Oh yeah then you tell me what it is when hundreds of people come and tell me they're sorry for my loss, what it means when people I've never seen before attempt to hug me and act as if they're so concerned that my grandfather is dead?" He sneered. "If that's not sympathy then I don't know what is!"
"Is this your way of dealing with your grief Mason?" I asked softly.
"Grief?" Mason laughed under his breath. "I'm not grieving Carly, why should I care that Mitchell Clarke is dead, I never asked him to leave, he left on his own accord so I have to be a man about it and accept it, no use crying over something that's not going to come back!"
Mason pulled a steel flask out of his pocket and hastily opened it and took a long sip out of it. He shook his head, "Nah, I've got better things to do rather than crying over a dead man, or shall I say better girls to do." He winked with a smirk.
"He didn't leave on his own accord, if it was in his hands he wouldn't ever leave you." I reasoned gently, ignoring the fact that Mason was drinking alcohol right beside his Grandfather's grave. "It was meant to be this way Mason."
"I don't give a damn Carly!" Mason snapped and took another sip out of his flask. "I'm happy for him; I hope he's having a good time in this so called God's home or whatever bull the pastor was preaching." He lifted his flask in the air. "To you Mitchell, here's to having a great time wherever you are, I hope for your sake there's a lot of booze and entertainment wherever you are because I'm not sharing any of mine with you. I'm going to be having the time of my life now that you're not here to lecture me about being a man."
"Therefore thank you old man, with you leaving, it only adds to my freedom, now I can do whatever I damn well please." He took another swig at his drink and laughed. "Thank you Mitchell, thank you so much!" he yelled looking up at the sky.
So this was Mason's way of dealing with his Gramps death, he was being in denial and not accepting how grieved he was, instead he decided to drink away his woes. But I wasn't going to allow him to do that, he'd only throw away his life that way and I promised Grandpa Mitch I would help in maturing Mason into a responsible man.
I stepped towards Mason and snatched the flask out of his hand. Mason glowered at me. "What the hell was that for?"
"I will not allow you to number one, be disrespectful near your grandfather's fresh grave on his funeral day and number two let you wash away your sorrow with alcohol." I stated firmly. "No, you are going to have to cry, you have to let out your bottled up anguish and pain or you're surely going to lose your mind." I added in a softer tone.
"Cry?" Mason asked as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. "Crying is for the weak Edwards and I am not weak, I will not cry for a man who has left me, left this earth. I'm not going to mourn and dissolve myself in pity. No, life has to go on and I refuse to waste my life crying for someone who no longer exists."
"Mason." I reached towards him but he flinched away.
"Don't!" He snapped. "Don't touch me, I can't handle any more hugs and comfort, I've had enough!"
I pulled my hand away. "Fine but you have to stop being in denial, you have to accept that your Gramps is dead and you have to accept just how distraught you are, Mason please." I took in a breath and spoke calmer, "I know exactly how you feel, I too hadn't cried at my Gramps funeral, I acted strong and pretended I didn't care but I did and after a long time when I allowed myself to cry I felt so much better Mason, I finally learnt to move on. Trust me; it's only after that will you be able to move past this horrible time."
Mason ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Carly, why don't you begin digging up a grave for me because your long preaches are going to be the death of me!"
"It's only because I car-"
"You what?" He snapped. "You care? Don't give me that bullshit, you don't care, nobody cares and I completely understand, you know why?" He inched closer to me and looked me dead straight in the eye. "Because when you allow yourself to care, you only get left alone and hurt."
I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again when Mason roughly grasped my shoulders. "Save it Carly, please I beg of you just stop these damn lectures and leave me the hell alone, I don't want anyone around me, I want to be alone with no one bothering me. Weren't you supposed to go with Brinson to Hawaii?"
I opened my mouth to speak again but Mason cut me off. "Just go, go to Hawaii with Brinson or wherever... just for the love of God leave me alone, I don't want you around me, there mere sound of your voice and sight of your face sends me over the edge, get the hell out of sight, please." He finished with a whisper.
I swallowed and looked at Mason, maybe he needed time to himself or maybe he just needed to be away from me. "I-"
Mason groaned. "God are you that thick?" He yelled pulling away from me. "You said so yourself, things can never be the same between us and I completely agree that's why I want you gone, from here, from my life! Just go!" He shouted.
I looked at the honestly and coldness in his eyes and swallowed. "Okay, I'll go." I whispered.
Giving him one last glance I turned on my heel and wiped my wet cheeks. I looked at the sky for a second, 'I'm sorry Grandpa Mitch; I don't think I can keep my promise, Mason's gone far too astray, forgive me.' I said mentally said and made my way towards Liam's car.
A/N I know, I know you all hate me and probably want to stab a dagger in my chest right now, I hate myself for doing this but it had to be done, from the very beginning I knew Grandpa Mitch's time was limited. I am utterly heartless and horrible, yes I know and I am sorry but as Grandpa Mitch said, death is a part of life and we all have to face heartache from the loss of someone one day.
I therefore want to apologise to all of you that cried (which I am sure most of you did, heck I did too while proofreading) this was a sad chapter but I promise the next one will be much merrier.
Also a big thank you for all the lovely comments, votes and follows I get, you guys are simply amazing and I love each and every one of you beautiful people, your support means the world to me and even though you hate me right now, I still ardently love you
Again I'm so sorry. *puppy dog eyes and pouty lips* hope you guys can forgive me?
'Till then
Hugs
Tina