(A/N Hey Guys. So this is going to be a very important question I've been meaning to ask you. I know we are all overly excited for Emison to happen and I am trying my best to publish as many parts as I can so that we may get there. But I NEED to ask, and NEED an answer!! Do you guys want Emison smut/sex/visual stuff? It's been a topic of debate. Let me know in the comments, and we'll see how it goes! Until then, Enjoy this chapter!)
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Emily walked into her old house using the key her mother kept under the potted plant on the porch. Her tan boots squeaked against the wooden floors. The old familiar chestnut smell filled her nose.
"Mom?" Emily called out.
She heard a creaking as Pam wheeled herself out into the living room. She no longer had all of her hair, and looked older than ever. Emily's heart broke the minute her mother laid eyes on her.
"Oh, Emmy," Pam cried.
Emily made her way over to her mom and ducked down to kiss her on the forehead. She hugged her the best she could in her wheelchair.
"Why would you go to that nasty place without telling me? What if something happened to you?" Pam sobbed.
Emily leaned away. "I didn't want to worry you. And somebody had to pay for your treatment. You couldn't on your own."
"But what about Pepperdine?" Pam asked worriedly.
"College really wasn't my thing," Emily admitted sheepishly.
"Oh, you look so grown up. Your father would be so proud of you. If only he could see you standing here in that uniform. Bless his heart," Pam whispered.
Emily rocked back and forth uneasily as she pushed her mother to the living room and sat down on the couch opposite her.
"Who told you? About me being in the military?" Emily asked.
"I figured you'd ask that. A Lieutenant Meyers called. He said he was in your unit in Afghanistan. He was rotated out. Sent home on medical leave. But he wanted me to know that you were one of the bravest he ever had the privilege of working with. He warned me you may come back different," she said.
Emily looked down in shame. Of course he would've called.
Secrets don't stay secrets, Em. You should know that one by now, Alison said in her ear.
"What happened out there, Emmy? What aren't you telling me?" Pam asked.
Emily wouldn't meet her eyes. "I'd rather not speak of it."
"Were you hurt?" Pam asked again.
The flashbacks commenced. The explosion. The blood. There was so much blood.
"I was in IED explosion. All of the people on my convoy were killed except for me, Meyers, and a soldier named Morello. He lost both of his legs," Emily said.
"And you walked off okay?" Pam asked. She was crying now.
"I was shot. In the arm. Both my forearms are scarred from being burned pretty badly. I have a couple scars on my chest from the seat belts. And I have tainted memory," Emily finished.
They sat in silence, neither of them finding the courage to look at each other.
Emily peeled off her jacket so she could show her mom the burns on both of her forearms. Arji had done a good job of making the burns on her left arm seem like waves, but on the right, it just seemed like warped skin.
Pam felt them with her trembling fingers. "This is pretty. I never thought you'd get them," she said.
Emily looked down and realized she was referring to her ink sleeve, not the burns.
Emily nodded. "The artist was something himself. He gave me information in return for business. Information on the Taliban. Locations, times, influential leaders, everything."
Pam tried to take it all in. "And I'm assuming you had to... Do things you regret."
Emily stared at her boots. "There were many things I did in Afghanistan. Killing the people who tried to kill me and endanger the people living back home was never one of the regrets."
Pam smiled softly, but Emily could tell it wasn't real. It was pained and forced.
"You didn't have any other choice, though. It's okay."
Emily looked away from her mother who was still slightly crying. In fact, she'd had a choice when it came to many of the men she fought. She didn't have to kill all of them. And yet she did. She wanted to.
"Yeah. It was just what I had to do," Emily lied.
Her mother felt up her arm towards the mermaid and the compass by it's head. Her fingers brushed the bullet underneath Emily's skin. Her eyebrows narrowed.
"What's that?" Pam asked.
"Mom-," Emily began.
"What is that, Emmy?" Pam demanded.
Emily bit her lip. "It's a bullet. It's where I was shot."
"Why didn't they take it out?" Pam asked.
Emily sighed. "They didn't need to. I let it heal."
Her mom sucked in a breath. "Why? Why would you want to remember that?"
Emily stood up and turned away from her mother. She pulled her jacket back in place so the Mermaid would be covered, and the ocean buried beneath it.
"I don't know," Emily lied again.
She didn't want to talk about it any longer. Her mother seemed to understand and smiled to herself calmly.
"You're home now. And I'm assuming you've heard about other situations as well," Pam said.
"As in Charlotte being killed? Yeah. I heard," Emily said.
Pam fixed her wedding ring. She still never took it off. Even though Emily's dad had been dead for seven years now.
"Please Emmy. Tell me you didn't have anything to do with that."
Emily turned around, her expression repulsed. "I wasn't even in country. I was off fighting bigger problems. Charlotte wasn't a part of my life anymore. I don't need to worry about her."
Pam sighed. "I wasn't going to tell you this. Alison came over the day Charlotte passed. She was looking for you. She was a mess. I told her you were still in Greece."
"Ali? She came here?" Emily asked.
Pam nodded. "She's been living here ever since. I see her every now and then at the grocery store. She's teaching at Rosewood."
Emily felt light headed. "But why me? Why here?"
Pam shook her head. "I don't know, Emmy. I know how you used to feel about her. It would be wrong of me to tell you I didn't suspect the same feelings when she came over here. She wanted you to be the first to know. And when you weren't here, she was devastated."
"But she knew I was in California," Emily objected.
"Emily, I don't think she knew what to think. She was so confused and shaken up. I think she just wanted to see you. And this was the only place she could run," Pam said.
Emily sat down in shock.
I miss you, Alison said in her head. But it wasn't the Alison Dilaurentis she was now. It was the Alison Dilaurentis she knew in Afghanistan. The one who begged her to pull the trigger.
Emily blocked it out. "I have to see her. It's been five years. And after all that time, she still came here."
Pam could see Emily mapping things out in her brain. "Emmy, I have cancer. I'll still be sitting here when you get back. Go see her."
Emily put her head in her hands. "I can't."
"Why can't you?" Pam asked sternly.
"Because I'm a killer, mom. I threw Ali away and I joined the army and deployed and lied to her. I lied to everybody, including you. She probably hates me," Emily said.
"She doesn't hate you. Why would she come looking for you if she hated you? Emmy, she misses you. Go see her," Pam repeated.
Emily stood up and hugged her mother. "I missed you when I was gone. Afghanistan's no Rosewood."
Pam smiled. "You're an amazing soldier like your father. I missed you. He missed you too."
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Emily took her mom's car and followed the directions Hanna had texted her to Alison's apartment.
It was near her old house, but not quite. She had heard Jason still lived there but only came every once in a while. He had been going back and forth from his apartment in Florida and their old house.
Alison couldn't stand to stay in it after her mother passed away and Charlotte was caught. So for the majority of the time, it just stood empty.
Emily climbed the stairs of the apartment complex and stopped in front of the door 3A. Her palms had begun to sweat.
She knocked swiftly and held her ground. She was never nervous about anything. She wasn't nervous about shooting Afghani snipers, but when it came to Alison, she felt as though she was about to lose it completely.
She heard the locks begin to unlatch. Emily's heart caught.
Don't be scared, my love. It's been far too long for us to be apart. Didn't you miss me? Alison's cocky voice said in her ear.
The door opened and there she stood with a blanket draped around her shoulders. Her blue eyes were red and swollen from crying, and her beautiful blonde curly hair was now almost a frail straight.
Emily was wringing her hat in her hands, her knuckles turning a bright white from squeezing so hard. Her breath caught in her throat.
Alison's eyes grew wide and she dropped her blanket at the sight of Emily in her camouflage uniform, completely forgetting why she was upset in the first place. It was as if the entire building had turned upside down.
"E-Emily?" Alison stuttered so softly that Emily could barely hear her.
"Alison," Emily choked.
Alison flung herself at the brunette and began to sob deeply into her shoulder. Emily picked her up and cradled her into her body. She kicked the apartment's door closed behind her and looked around for the couch.
She sat down with Alison in her arms, the blonde's head buried deep within her shoulder.
Emily rubbed her back. "I'm here, it's okay."
"What the fuck? Emily," Alison choked. She couldn't form full sentences though as her tears began to fall even harder.
This was not how Emily expected this to go. She pulled away from the blonde carefully and brushed her hair from her face. Electricity prickled as her fingers met Alison's cheek. She had missed her so much.
Emily wanted nothing more than to stay here forever just holding the other girl. No amount of distance kept Emily from realizing how in love with Alison she still was.
"Let me get you something to drink," Emily insisted.
Alison shook her head and held Emily's large hand against the side of her face. "I don't want you to leave me again," she cried.
"No, no. I'm not going anywhere," Emily said. "I promise."
"You were gone. I didn't know where you were. I thought you hated me," Alison said.
"I could never hate you, Ali. I-," Emily stopped herself.
Tell me you love me, The Other Alison insisted in Emily's head.
"I just couldn't," Emily finished, her chest tight.
Alison had finally begun to stop crying and lay against Emily's chest. Underneath her uniform, her scars prickled in anxiety.
"I didn't know you joined the army. I thought you were at Pepperdine. It's been five years and I can't even," Alison leaned away so she could look into Emily's eyes.
"Ali, I heard about Charlotte. I'm sorry," Emily apologized. She wasn't sorry. But she was sorry that Alison was hurting.
Alison scoffed slightly and looked down at Emily's burnt fingers. "I know you hated her. But I appreciate the effort."
I know you want to kiss me, The Other Alison cooed.
Emily stared at the Real Alison's lips. They were still perfectly light, like a heart. She wanted nothing more than to kiss them again and taste what she's been wanting to have for five years.
Ali's fingers played with Emily's and felt along the bottom of her sleeve. Her cool blue eyes met Emily's.
"Take off your jacket," she said.
Emily seemed taken aback. "Excuse me?" she asked.
But she didn't argue as she slipped the jacket off of her back so Alison could follow the burn marks up her arm. The room was silent as Alison's tears met Emily's skin. It felt as though she were being burned again with each droplet.
"What happened to you?" Alison whispered.
"Ali," Emily said.
"No. You didn't. You didn't go over there. Without telling me. You wouldn't," Alison snapped as she pulled away.
"Ali please," Emily begged.
Alison stood up and looked over towards Emily's left side where the ink sleeve wrapped around her arm.
"What's that?" she asked.
"It's a tattoo. It's many tattoos," Emily said dumbly.
She was treading dangerous waters. Frankly, she was waiting for Alison to scream at her.
Alison held Emily's arm in hers and traced the outline of the small blue waves, the ships, and all the way up to the mermaid. Emily closed her eyes in pleasure. Alison smiled to herself softly.
"You got a mermaid. It's beautiful," she sniffled.
Emily opened her eyes. "Alison. I owe you an apology."
Alison's eyes wouldn't meet her's. "I remember when I wrote that in my journal. It was about you, but you know that already. You were my Mermaid," she said, ignoring what Emily was trying to say.
"I got blown up," Emily said suddenly.
Alison's eyes grew wide. "You what?"
"It was a roadside bomb. We didn't see it coming. The Humvee exploded. I somehow made it out. But it wasn't all me," Emily said.
Alison had begun to cry again. "And you never even bothered to tell me you left. There was no goodbye. You could've died, and I never would've known."
Emily remained silent, unsure of what to say. She wanted so badly to kiss Alison and tell her how much she loved her, but she refrained.
"Ive killed people, Alison. I'm not who I was. Please don't take it personally," Emily said.
Alison turned around with a glare that would've made the old Emily cower in fear. "Yeah, you're not. Because the Emily I knew wouldn't have abandoned me."
"Ali-,"
"No. Shut up Emily. How can I not take this personally? Did you tell any of the girls?" Alison asked.
Emily didn't respond.
"Answer me," Alison demanded.
"I told Hanna. I sent her a letter when I was first deployed," Emily admitted.
Alison scoffed again. "She knew and didn't tell me. I called about you, Emily. I was looking for you. And all I got were bullshit stories about where you would've been. But you were getting shot at in the middle of a desert. Was Pepperdine a lie too?"
"I told Hanna not to tell you. I told Hanna not to tell anyone. Not even my mother knew. And no. I went to Pepperdine. For a year and a half. I dropped out to join. My mom got sick. She didn't have the money and I didn't have what it took to stay in college. So I left," Emily said as she stood up to look down on Alison who was now a complete head shorter than her.
"You left me," Alison said. Her lower lip had begun to tremble. "You left me here all alone. You were supposed to be the loyal one."
Emily grabbed both of Alison's hands in hers. "I fucked up, I know. I shouldn't have left. But I did, Alison. We can't go back and change that. I'm here now."
"But you were gone for five years! I loved you and you were gone!" Alison yelled.
Emily had grown silent. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Alison loved her. She truly did. It wasn't fake. It wasn't all in her head.
"You should've told me that. Before I left!" Emily demanded.
"It didn't matter. You wouldn't have stayed. You hate it here and you hate Charlotte. It would've been a complete waste of tears. Yet here I am crying them five years later," Alison said stiffly.
"I loved you, Alison," Emily said. It was almost impossible to get the words out.
"Past tense?" Alison asked as she stepped closer.
Emily looked away.
Please Mermaid. We want this. Both of us. Let us be happy, The Other Alison said.
"No. I never stopped. I never stopped loving you."