Song for the chapter: Piece By Piece -Kelly Clarkson
~~~
"All I remember is your back, walking towards the airport, leaving us all in your past. I traveled 1500 miles to see you, begged you to want me, but you didn't want to. But piece by piece he collected me, up off the ground where you abandoned things."
After awhile, Louis drove Clair and I back to our dorm, while Harry stayed back with Professor Hardy. I couldn't get the story that Harry had told me out of my head, my mind just continually seeing a wrecked teen. Harry's first love died, leaving his shattered, broken heart behind. At this point, I wish I could've saved her.
Clair notices my awkward, silent position in the car, her body probably aching to ask me what's wrong. Truth is I didn't really even want to talk about Harry anymore or any of our problems. The whole point of letting someone go is letting go of all the memories, to stop talking about it all together.
Louis drops us off at our dorm at about eight-thirty, my body already tired from this whole day of running around, tears, and heartbreak. Everything today has just worn me down, physically and mentally.
I unlock the door to our dorm room, instantly walking straight to my bed and throwing myself onto the covers. I can hear Clair shuffling around the room, taking off her shoes, and throwing her bag onto the floor.
The room is filled with a silent air, making me question what look Clair had on her face. Maybe she was expecting me to talk first in this situation, or maybe she just wanted me to tell her every detail about what happened today.
"Your not going to tell me about what happened?" As if on schedule, Clair asks me to spill the details. I get up from my comfortable position so I could look at her facial expression. Her hands were crossed over her chest, and her expression made her look as if she was waiting for something.
"Clair I know that usually I'd always want to tell you about it, but I just don't want to talk about Harry anymore tonight." Clair nods her head and uncrossed her arms. I'm thankful for the understanding friend that I have here with me, because without her I wouldn't be able to survive.
"That's okay, we could just order some food and watch a movie. If you'd like?" I smile at Clair, thinking about us just hanging out instead of always talking about boys, especially Harry.
"I'd love that." So for the rest of the night Clair and I eat some fat takeout food and watch a funny movie. We laugh and talk about life, also about fall break approaching us soon. I would probably be going home, even if it was to nothing and old scary faces.
By the time the ending of the movie rolls around, my eyelids are falling shut, and my head was buried into my pillow. Sweet dreams invade my mind, making me smile internally for a hopeful new future.
~~~
My body aches when I wake up and stretch the next morning. Clair was still asleep while I was awake, getting ready for classes. My literature class had been postponed, which meant my classes didn't start until midday today. Liam had called and scheduled us for coffee in the morning, and of course I said yes to the invitation.
I leave Clair a note on the dresser before heading out to meet Liam outside. The hallways were empty, considering it was still pretty early in the morning. Most students scheduled their classes to begin after ten.
The cold air hits me once I get outside, making me pull my jacket tighter around my body. Liam was standing in a small circle of sun, probably just trying to keep himself warm in the early, chilly morning.
Liam wraps his arms around me right as I walk up to him. I had missed Liam the days we hadn't crossed paths, he had become one of my best friends. "How you doing? Hmm?" I pull away from Liam, looking into his eyes and giving a slight smile.
"I'm doing alright I guess. Just a little worried these days." I laugh a little at the end, making Liam think that I totally had this whole thing with Harry under control. In reality, I have no idea how I'm going to get through this with Harry.
"You don't have to lie Sarah, well you don't need to with me." Liam always knew the right things to say, even in times where I didn't want to hear the right things, Liam would always be there to steer me straight.
"I'm just scared that I'll put Harry right back to where he was at the beginning of this all. I don't want to be someone else that lets him down." Truth be told that I didn't want Harry resenting me for this, even though I already knew he probably was.
"You mean back in Macy's hands?" Liam speaks my exact thoughts, making me crinkle my nose in disgust. I wasn't particularly happy with the idea of Harry and Macy possibly being together again. But the again, Harry can be with whomever he wants after all this.
"She just doesn't sit easy with me, something about her makes me worry." Liam and I walk in the cool, fall air all the way to the coffee shop. My hands stay buried in my pockets, desperately trying to stay warm.
"No girl will, because now Harry isn't just yours, he's everyone's and you have no control over that." Liam couldn't be more correct in this situation. I just wanted to keep Harry mine, without having all the fights and drama. But even I knew that was impossible for us.
"I don't know what I want anymore, but I know that I can't let Harry back into my life, at least not right now." I keep my gaze on the sidewalk, littered with colorful leaves. I wanted to step all over them, but then I'd be making an even bigger mess for the guys that clean campus.
The coffee shop is warm when we get inside, Liam decided to order while I find us a table that's free. People around me were cuddling together, trying to find warmth and comfort. Practically everyone here was in a relationship consisting of little kisses and strange giggles.
Maybe that's why I never liked an easy love, because in an instant it could be like anyone else around you. I'd rather fall in love and be the only person that fell in love with arguments and hate still evident in our hearts, than fall in love easily with someone who always tries to please.
Liam starts walking over to the table with our drinks in hand. I had tea, with some cream and sugar while Liam was drinking black coffee. I've never liked the taste of coffee, but that didn't mean it wasn't good to anyone else.
"So what are your plans for the rest of the week?" I ask, hoping to talk about something other than Harry for once.
Liam starts talking about his studying schedule and how many exams and essays he has due. "I'm probably just going to study all week sadly. How about you? Any great plans before fall break?" Liam bites into a muffin, while I hold onto my cup of tea.
"Not really, I'm probably just going to go through school and see what happens along the way." Liam nods agreeing with me. It seems as though everyone is just waiting for the fall break to roll around.
"What are you doing for break? Going home?" I shrug, knowing that I have no definite plans just yet. Liam already knows that I have no idea where I should even go for break, home or find some kind of hotel.
"I have no idea yet. I guess I'll just go wherever my mind takes me, I mean going home can't be too awful." I try convincing myself that going home could be fun, staying with Kristina could be like old times when we would have sleepovers.
"It would only be for a week anyways, I know you can get through it." Liam gives me his little pep-talk, making me laugh. He was right, going home wouldn't be the most heartbreaking thing I've had to do.
We finish our drinks, talking about our plans and schoolwork that is being given right now. Liam and I start leaving the coffee shop at about nine-thirty, considering my class started at ten.
My first class would've been with Professor Hardy, but he hasn't come back yet, hopefully he's resting and recovering. Instead I had lab first with Zayn being my hilarious partner. Whenever I walked into that class, he always had a joke up his sleeve ready.
Today was no exception, during the whole experiment Zayn was cracking jokes making everyone laugh. I'll never be able to express how grateful I am to have these guys that make me laugh.
Once class is over, we all go our separate ways, back to apartments and dorms. Soon winter and cold weather would be among us, which meant I couldn't really walk to classes any longer. Walking around campus was something that helped me clear my head, it made me happy.
The dorm room is empty once I get back, Clair was probably still at classes. It would just be me for the night probably, since Clair practically stays every night with Louis. It was cute though and I was happy she had love in her life.
I get some homework done in the quiet air of my dorm room. Sometimes it was nice having the small room to myself, Clair couldn't ask questions and I could get work done. But then again, being lonely felt worse than being dead right now.
For some reason, I wanted to call Harry and tell him to come over. Maybe it's because I wanted someone to eat and watch a movie with, or maybe I just wanted to cuddle into his arms. I didn't know what he was up to and I didn't have the right to really ask anymore.
I guess that's just my broken heart talking, but maybe it's just me wanting to admit that I shouldn't have broken up with Harry. He made me smile and love and cry and scream but he also fixed me in a way nobody else could've. He put me back together the day he took me into his group, the day he said hello was the day I got my life back.
I know it's a stupid thing to think. How could a total stranger fix my entire life? It was the way he lifted me off my feet and made me do things that I never could've imagined. It was Harry making me absolutely came crazily in love.
I'd like to think that now we're on separate roads for the best and that we can find love again. I hope another woman consumes him in love, making him feel like the most important human being on earth. I'm just hoping he wishes me the best in life, but honestly I don't even need to wish for it. I already know he does.
I'd like to that that I won't always love Harry or think about him in my loneliest hours, but I know that's impossible. In this short amount of time that I've known Harry, he's tattooed in my mind and heart. Forever there like the tattoo of the small bird near my thumb.
I know at night it'll be the hardest, thinking about Harry and him keeping me awake, but over my time I know I'll get him out. He might be in my mind right now, but soon enough we'll both find our ways out in the world and we'll thank each other. I just know it.
A sudden, repetitious knock at my door brings me out of my day dreaming. Maybe it was Clair on the other side and she forgot her keys. Clair has actually done that many times before, which annoyed me to a point.
I get up from my seat, walking over to the door. "I'm coming!" I say when the person doesn't stop banging at my door.
When I swing the door open, my eyes widen at surprise for who was at my door. Macy was standing in jeans and a t-shirt, no makeup, no jewelry, just all natural Macy. Something about her looked actually pleasing without all that extra stuff she always wore.
"What are you doing here?" My heartbeat speeds up, me being completely nervous that Macy is going to say something nasty or malicious. But instead she puts her hands up in defeat, showing me that she isn't here to start a fight, well at least not today.
"We need to talk." Macy steps by me into my dorm room and takes a seat on my bed. I take a deep breath and close the door. Well, this should be an interesting conversation that I have never been prepared for.