Saturday
9:00 AM
G:
My usual routine early in the morning is done. I'm preparing for my gig later with Arvy. But i'm at my fave salon today, having my new haircut, I want my short haircut back again. I can feel the summer heat nowadays.
Then my phone suddenly got a new message :
Arvy : excited nako for later. Buti nalang we got this chance to jam :)
G : hihihi... yeah! so see you tonight. mwaah! 😊
Arvy : sure. have a great day G :)
9:15 AM
Another new message came in....
Benj : hi G. i missed you. I hope it's ok if i'll see your gig later tonight. friends?
I didn't reply to his message. Deleted it instead.
And then another new message came in...
Rhi : all the best for your gig later love. I love you and see you ahihihi =p
I replied right away...
G : I love you too! mwaaah!
Fast Forward ......
5:00 PM
Another busy day for Me and Rhi. she's doin' lots of mag shoots and guestings. While i'm preparin' for my gig later. Then checked some business stuff at RK.
6:00 PM
Driving our way to 12th bar, where the gig will start. The venue was already crowded when we arrived. Lots of camera and mobile cam are all around. I saw Arvy and she came right away to me and gave a kiss or beso to my left cheek and then I smiled and greeted her. I didn't notice that a photo captured that moment. She looks like a beautiful rocker with a captivating smile.
Ready ka na ba G? she smiled.
Oh yeah. ready na ready. I smiled back at her.
Then suddenly she whisphered something in my ears.
Let's surprise the fans & add this song... she continued...
Again, I didn't notice na these small gestures were being captured on many photos uploaded on different photo apps. So I really thought its fine being friendly and at ease with Arvy. We did get along very well.
So the concert is now starting and we're both on the stage....
6:45 PM
R:
Jay suddenly fetch me after my taping from a program guesting. My mind was definitely not with him at this moment. I wanted to be updated as to what's happenin' with my love. But it seems impossible, kasi somebody might be watching. I can't be at her concert not unless it's planned, there are walls around us and we can't just disregard it. So I'm playin' it cool.
boo, are you ok? kanina ka pa wala sa sarili mo? He said.
Pano mo nasabi? I asked.
Look at you, parang di mapakali. He said.
I'm fine. wag ka maparanoid agad. I said.
kala ko nga kilala na kita since matagal na tayo, pero unpredictable ka pala. He said.
Try mo kasi wag maciado mag isip. I replied.
I can't guess all the time, boo. He said.
Then don't guess boo. Ganun kasimple.
I said.
7:30 PM
G:
The concert is almost ending. I haven't really opened my phone, coz' sunod sunod yung set. So here's another duet of Me and Arvy. She noticed that there are lots of scream as soon as she goes near me. She looked at me and smiled, then quickly whisphered at me.
Wow. Amazing fans you have here. She said.
Napangiti ako. And we continued singing together. Arvy is really a rocker girl. I like our jam today. All the cameras were on us. Fans were also trying to sing with us. I can't imagine the fun we're having ni Arvy.
8:00 PM
R:
I'm sitting with Jay having dinner. I don't want to be rude but I can never possibly stop myself in having all my social media open for any updates of what's happening with the concert. Our fans were very generous in posting lots of updates, which is why I luv them. When Jay suddenly interrupted me.
So boo, what plans mo on the next race? He asked.
.... I didn't respond... I was busy with my phone...
boo. is it ok later na yan? He said.
ha? Wait... 2mins. I said.
Mamaya na yan, Please? He said.
I looked at him and I said...
Here we go again, hay boo. I said.
dammit! ok. forget it. He looked frustrated.
9:00 PM
I've decided na magpahatid na kay Jay. I'm really tired. As far as relationship is concern, we are a normal couple. In fact, He's there around Me most of the time. He takes some of my photo whenever I ask him to. He has his right over Me but I'm not sure If that includes my heart.
9:30 PM
Our duet was a success! Everybody likes it. I hugged Arvy and thanked her. She smiled back at me and gave me another hug again. She also took another selfie of us together.
thanks talaga Arvy. sexy na, rocker pa. I smiled.
haha! ikaw G ha. you're welcome of course. Lakas ng appeal. Then she laughed.
10:00 PM
R:
As soon as I got home, I opened every social media app to see what's goin' on.
There were too many photos posted with that singer/actress with my love, which was captioned Miss rocker girl.
What's interesting are those sweet gestures they threw each other. And I was like....🤔
I tried calling G. But her phone is just ringing.
I've read each updates and saw these sweet photos. I know that the concert is over and I'm left wondering now.
10:30 PM
G. Please take care. i'll see you around. Thanks for tonight. Nag enjoy ako. She gave me a big smile and made beso on my left cheek.
I should thank you nga eh. Please take care din. I smiled back at her.
She left and while I was already packing up my guitar when I heard my phone ringing. So I answered it.
R : So how's the concert love?
G : it was really good love. then I smiled na rinig niya yung sobrang saya ko over the phone.
R : Can you come over love?
G: sorry love, hindi ako sure if I can.
R : Pleaseeeee?
G: teka, bakit hindi ka pa natutulog?
R : I just can't. I wanted to be there pero you know it's impossible.
G: It's ok love. I understand naman.
R: You promised, you'll see me.
G: ai oo nga pala. hmm. Ok sige na nga gagawa ako ng way ok? Just wait for my message.
R: Yes! i'll wait love. wait... i'm sendin' the address.
Our phone conversation ended. At kahit mejo impossible yung request ni Rhi, pinag isipan ko makaalis agad just to see her. I'm successful in doing this. But of course, I have my car with me, so I drove straight ahead in BGC. We are going to meet on a private suite there in a hotel. The good thing about Rhi is that even if she's spontaneous sa mga biglaang meet up namin, she's always prepared kung saan at kailan kami magkikita. That's always arranged.
10:30PM
After I've parked my car, I noticed Rhi's car. She's already there, probably waiting.
As soon as I opened the door ... I saw her, eating some cookies & drinking orange juice. When she saw me, she immediately kissed me on my lips then embraced me.
I knew na darating ka. she said.
Siyempre how can I refuse you love. I smiled.
I noticed a not-so-happy face of Rhi. She's holding her phone and I saw a big photo of Arvy kissing me on the cheek while I looked kilig or somewhat. She didn't know I saw her phone.
Are you ok ba love? I curiously asked.
Not really. She said.
why? anong problema? Tell me. I asked. Then I went ahead and hold her hand while she's sitting.
Nothing really, ako lang siguro talaga... she replied
Ang alin? ... love your face doesn't know how to lie, kaya I know you're not ok.
I said while looking at her.
Its just I don't feel like it's right to ask you. She said.
ok, is it about the photos of Me & Arvy? I asked her.
Then Rhi became quiet. And her head was just like looking away from where I am.
love, you can't keep on being quiet like this if you have problems with me. Bakit hindi natin pag usapan ng maayos? I added.
She's still quiet, Though I know she's listening.
you're one of those closest to me na I was hoping to maybe understand me in many ways. You trust me naman right? what else do I have to do, so you won't feel that way? I asked her.
Then finally she speaks up...
I feel so lost whenever I wanted to spend time with you but It felt like limited yung puede ko gawin. These girls you're being with are soo lucky kasi they can have the time and liberty to have fun with you. while ako, I can't. We both know why we can't. But here we are trying to push this through all because we believe on Us, kahit mahirap maging tayo. She explained.
Then I answered her...
Oo mahirap, but I'm not giving in to that thought. Kasi mahirap na nga tapos mag iisip pa ko ng negative. Hindi siya makaka help sa situation natin. Alam mo kung ano ang makapagpapasaya sayo. You do know too kung ano ang dapat mong gawin. Hindi ko na kailangang sabihin pa, alam mo yan love.
I reasoned out.
Then she answered back....
Pero I can't lose you. I really can't. But my hands are also tied. Honestly, I thought I know what to do but hindi pala.
I continued explaining to Rhi...
In the end, whether you like it or not.. you will have to choose. That's all I know na pupuntahan nito. I might not have my own will right now just like yours but I can feel na that time will come for me too.
She then reasoned out....
It's easy to say things than being done.
Then I looked at her and replied....
Alright. I'll give you space muna, in the meantime.
Rhi was surprised with what I've said and suddenly embraced me, crying and asking Me not to give any space at all... Ayaw niya. But I know I have to do it so she could take time to think.
Pleaseee... love. Hindi ko kaya. She said.
I took her hand to hold her but I noticed her ring on her left ring finger. I stared at it in a few seconds. My tears are starting to fall in my eyes. So I said...
It confused me as much as it confuse you to see things like this. I'm taking risk, kahit I know I will look like a third wheel, only because I love you. While you're there in the middle. Yan yung bagay na ayaw mo pag isipan.
I pointed out on her.
Rhi started explaining ang convincing me, na she's not taking it seriously about any marriage thing if yun ang iniisip ko... na malabo pumunta sa ganon ngayon.
But I looked at her and said...
Let's not push things right now. Take time to think, If loving me is what you really want... Then let's talk again pag ready ka na.
I took my bag and left. Rhi was sitting on a sofa, crying. And then she immediately called Bianca.
Bianca : hello?
R : bestie, please come fetch me.
Bianca : oh, what happened sayo? asan ka?
R : i'll text you the address, I can't drive, not really feeling well.
Bianca : Ok, give me 30mins i'll be there.
I was trying to call G and sending her lots of messages but she did not reply or even responded with my call. Her car is no longer there.
Now 30 mins after... Bianca decided to bring me in the nearest starbucks open somewhere along BGC. I can't go home yet after feeling so broken tonight. She went on to calm me down and talk to Me about it, while we have our favorite coffee served.
Bianca : I told you, it's going to get more complicated if hindi mo pag iisipan ang mga dapat mo gawin para sa sarili mo.
R: Why do you always have to push the idea of making decisions?
Bianca : because you're the key. That's how I look at it. Don't ask me to elaborate on what kind of key you are, again you're old enough to figure out what i'm trying to tell you.
R: You know why nothing worked out in my past. It's just more than myself now.
Alam mong hindi ganon kadali.
Bianca : because you thought you can't decide things on your own. Life is not like that, sooner or later you will know that you will have to decide for yourself and not for someone else.
R : you're becoming unreasonable bestie.
Bianca : you called me to comfort and talk to you pero you refused to take my advise. I'm talking by experience here Rhi. Hindi ito theory na kung saan saan ko lang narinig.
R : akala ko ba kakampi kita? why are you telling me this?
Bianca : i'm with you, bestie. But look at yourself... You try to pretend you're not affected but you get jealous and emotional with her. You keep on hiding your feelings but you would confess you love her. You're not into commitments but you're living a normal couple life. Ano ba talaga? kahit sino maguguluhan.
R: wow! so do I have to always explain myself and my decisions now? diba hindi kasi it's my life. it's my life!
Bianca : It's your life but nakikita ko nahihirapan ka. I'm not even sure what kind of happiness you're after in life. You already have everything, so what's missing pa ba bestie?
R : It's not only about Me. Pareho lang kami ng situation ni G, yun lang she's not with anyone else.
Bianca : exactly! She's all tied up just like you pero she's not torn in the middle, mahalin ka man niya I can be sure, she'll be into you. only you.
R : But it's impossible talaga. bestie, paulit ulit ko sinasabi sayo its impossible.
Bianca : Then why continue it? why do you have to let her know you love her? It may not be now, but I'm sure you'll get to the point na you will have to make decisions na will break your heart but will make you a better person. A strong one. You've been through alot, you just needed time to think this over. And kahit ano man ang maging decisions mo, our friendship will remain the same. Just know that.
My tears fell into my eyes as I'm hearing these words from Bianca. She's really a good friend. May mga bagay bagay talaga na narerealize mo about yourself na hindi mo akalain na ikaw pala yon. I have so many fears right now. And I know deep inside myself, G is right...
I can never face her because I'm not ready. Age was never a question between our love to each other but knowing G on a deeper level, at her age she knows what she wants, maybe she's just buying herself time too. I don't know. I just felt like sana I have the same courage like what she has right now. I had proven I like & love her, and I'm still waiting for that right time that I'll choose her and if not, then I hope to see her very happy.
I looked at my phone and deleted all these photos I saw, about G & that Miss Rocker girl."