I couldn't sleep. My rib was killing me. At least it was a crack and not a total break.
Louis fell asleep fast. Lucky him... I started looking around to see if i had my ipod. Crap of course I don't have my ipod! I can't text Sean!! Oh god he's going to think the worst since I'm not answering him. I'll just tell him tomorrow. Hopefully he'll understand.
Louis opened his eyes slightly and I shut mine. I heard him sigh. I figured he wouldn't go back to sleep so I opened my eyes.
"Hey you feeling alright?" He asked. I nodded.
"My rib hurts a lot. Other than that I feel fine." I smiled. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it for a minute. "Louis?"
"Yes pumpkin?" He sounded really concerned.
"How did my dad get me and what did he do that made me lose memory?" I asked him.
"We don't know how he got you. We're guessing he knew where Dani lived and got you when we weren't around. And he hit your head with a metal box really hard." He looked a bit upset. I squeezed his hand like he did to me.
"I'm just glad I don't remember any of it!" I smiled.
"That's what Niall said!!!" He laughed. I smiled. He sat on the other side of my bed from where he was earlier. I scooted over and gave him room to lay down. When he did I curled into his side and put my head on his chest.
"Thank you," I mumbled.
"For what, love?"
"Everything," I slightly smiled. He put his arm on my back and started to rub circles into it. I smiled.
Maybe this isn't so bad besides the part of Harry hating me. I'm getting better I think.
"Pumpkin, Harry doesn't hate you," Louis sighed.
"I said that out loud didn't I?" He nodded.
"Why do you think he hates you?" Louis looked down at me.
"After I told you guys I was gay, he always flipped out on me or one of you guys for it. Plus from day one, I've gotten a bad vibe from him like he didn't even want to be around me. Not like that's something new but still! I just don't know what I did to him to make him like that," I huffed.
"Spencer it's cause he was never expecting it. You're his technical daughter. He's worried for your mental health cause of twitter and everything. He doesn't hate you. He doesn't hate anyone! Want to talk to him about it tomorrow when we get home?" I shook my head no. I really don't care if he dislikes me or not. I just don't want any lies and excuses for it. "Are you sure? I mean its better to talk to him straight to his face," he kept talking.
"Yes I'm sure! I don't want to hear it from him. I don't care anymore! Just drop it! Please!?" I screamed. My eyes watered up. Louis just nodded and went silent.
I scooted slowly to the side of my bed to go to the bathroom. Louis helped me get up and walked me there. I didn't use my crutches cause it didn't hurt when I walked on my foot cause I've been walking on it for a while now.
When I got in I locked the door. I knew it wasn't a good idea but whatever. No one told me to unlock it so I was safe.
I looked over the bathroom and found the scale. I probably haven't eaten for a while now so I should be safe.
I put my feet on the scale and waited for the numbers to show up.
Last time I weighed myself I was 94 pounds. Hopefully it's a lower number.
I heard a slight beep and looked down and saw I was only 2 pounds away from my goal weight (which was 85 lbs(sorry I'm American so I use pounds)). I smiled and put the scale away.
"Spencer, are you ok in there?" Louis called from outside the door.
"Yeah I'll be out in a minute!" I called. I looked in the mirror and sighed.
Yes I know this is bad for me but all the teasing and bullying got to me. That was just from the orphanage too. Not even a real school. I'm just really sensitive.
I opened the door and smiled at Louis. He helped me walk back to the bed. When I sat down, I moved over a little so Louis could lay down with me again.
"I wanna go home Louis." I sighed. "I don't want to be in a hospital to where I feel useless. I'm just another charity case for everyone."
"You're not a charity case Spencer!" He said to me a little disappointed.
"Then how come I feel like it?" I asked in a some-what snobby voice.
"Cause you always have something negative to say about yourself!! Not once while you've lived with us have you been happy about something! Just cheer the fuck up already!!" He said very pissed.
"Probably cause everything I've said about me is true! Everyone in my life has been saying it so it has to be true! After a while of all the name calling, you start to believe it. Not like you should know," I scoffed. So many emotions going through my head at the moment, made me just start... Crying.
Louis started saying everything will be alright but I pushed him away.
"That's fucking bull, Louis. Last time you said everything would be alright, look what the fuck happened. I'm not able to contact my best friend, both my parents kidnapped me, and I fucking got raped apparently! It's not going to fucking be alright anymore!" I basically screamed.
He got out of the bed and went to sit next to the window. I started crying lightly. I walked to the bathroom and locked the door. I sat in the corner and did nothing. I didn't want to be around people for a while.
I waited for a while and nothing happened or moved. I decided to sleep there. I closed my eyes. Louis was trying to jiggle the lock open. I didn't move. He started saying my name. He just wants to 'talk'. Bull. Shit. I don't trust new people anymore. Never have. Probably never will. I honestly don't care. I won't get hurt as easily anymore.
"Spencer! Open the goddamn door!" He screamed through the door. I just stayed silent. "Spencer! Baby please open the door!"
I didn't answer so he bursted through the door. I jumped... A lot.
"Why didn't you open the door??? I was worried baby girl!" He sat next to me. I scooted away.
"I don't want to be around people. What do you think I could do in a hospital anyways??!! I can't self harm and it'd be hard to even try cause they already have doctors that are staying near the room so I don't hurt myself! I'm at a fucking hospital, I can't hurt myself!" I said pissed.
"Stop swearing at me! I'm your father!" He said even more pissed.
"I'll fucking swear if I want to. You're NOT my father. He's in fucking prison now! I don't care what he did to me, he's ALWAYS going to be my dad!" I screamed and walked out of the bathroom.
"Spenser Elizabeth Tomlinson! I promise you if you're not going to stop swearing-" I cut him off.
"What are you going to do Louis? Hurt me worse than my family did to me? Worse than what I did to myself? I've been through hell and back. You. Can't. Hurt. Me." I went up to him. Pushing him a little bit. He rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. One of the doctors walked in. I flipped him off and he left.
Another person to walk out on me. Great. This is amazing. Back to the orphanage I go.
There was a knock at my door and Niall walked in.
"What happened Spencer?" He asked sitting on my bed.
"Louis pissed me off a lot and he left." There wasn't really much to say about it.
"How?"
"We got to the point where we were talking about how I was feeling about myself to where he's not my real father and he just walked out. I'm not surprised though. Everybody walks out sooner or later. Why are you here anyways?"
"Louis came back to Dani's without you and I got worried so I came here." Wow not surprised. At all.
I nodded and sat on my bed with him. I didn't notice it was that long though.
"If you want I can see if we can check you out now and go back so you can have a normal bed." Niall smiled at me. I smiled back. We grabbed my crutches and went to the front desk.
"Sorry it's late but can we check out Spencer Tomlinson?"
"Yeah it'll be a minute until we get the papers so go ahead and take a seat over there." The lady pointed and we sat down. After a couple minutes the lady called Niall over for the papers. He filled them out no time flat.
"Ready to go pumpkin?" He said grabbing my bag of clothes. We got out of the hospital and walked to nialls car. We put my crutches in the back seat and I sat up front with Niall.
"It's going to be so awkward when we get back to Dani's. I can already tell," I laughed and sighed. Niall agreed.
The car ride was pretty silent.
~car ride later~
We got back to the flat and Niall helped me up the stairs. Right outside the door you could hear screaming. I got a little worried. Niall rubbed my back and we walked in. Liam was yelling. At Dani... I got scared. Liam's never yelled before.
"What happened?!" Niall asked Zayn.
Zayn brought Niall to the other room. I sat on the couch not looking at Louis or Harry. I just looked down at my arms. I grabbed the pen that was next to me and started tracing my scars.
One by one my arm was getting filled. All my scars were dark so you could see every single one. When I was tracing over them, I couldn't feel the pen.
Niall came back with Zayn and carried me out of the house.
"What happened?" I asked when Zayn put me in the back.
"Dani was the one who gave you to your parents," Niall explained.
Dun dun dun duhhhhh!!!!! Everyone knows it was Dani now. What's going to happen??!!