Harry
I knocked on the door gently. "Jade," I called out. "Jade are you okay?"
No answer. I knocked again, harder this time. I knew she was here. I followed her upstairs because I saw her teary eyes and she didn't look good.
The door slowly opened. Jade frowned after seeing me, her eyes red and her mascara a bit ruined.
"What happened? Did you throw up?" I asked, suddenly worried. I felt like an idiot because I knew that she had low tolerance for alcohol but I didn't monitor her drinking. I expected Zayn to do it instead but the bastard didn't seem to know how alcohol could easily affect Jade's system.
"No," she replied flatly, sniffing. She was poised to went out of the room but I held her arm.
"Are you alright?"
She bit her lip. "Let go of my arm, Harry."
"Not until you tell me what's wrong."
Jade roughly took her arm away from my grip. "Not your fucking business."
Her statement pissed me off, adding to the anger that was already brewing inside me all throughout the night. Without any word, I grabbed her arm again and pushed her back inside the room, then locked the door behind us.
Jade's eyes went wide. "What the fuck?" she said. She was really drunk now, Jade doesn't curse that much when she's sober. "What the hell are you doing?" she added, her voice breaking like she was about to cry.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked in a not so gentle manner. "We're okay hours ago and now you're basically telling me to fuck off?"
She took in a sharp breath. "I will not argue with you, Harry. I'm tired as hell. You know what, I have to go back downstairs. Zayn is waiting for me," she uttered, walking past me to get the door.
I was fast enough to grab the doorknob first. I leaned my back against the door, blocking her way. "Waiting for you so he could take advantage of you again?" I snapped, losing grip on my temper. I didn't like the fact that Zayn kissed her torridly. He almost fucked her with his mouth. She was drunk for fucks sake. "No, Jade. You're not going downstairs. We'll go home, I'll drive you home."
"What?!" she breathed out. "You don't have the right to tell me what to do, you're not my fucking father!"
"We will go home whether you like it not. Unless you want Zayn to kiss and fuck you while you're intoxicated," I said sternly, my throat churning with just the thought.
Jade's hard eyes pierced on mine. "I'll kiss who I want to kiss and fuck who I want to fuck and that will be none of your fucking business. You're not the only one who can kiss me or fuck me senseless, Harry. You don't fucking own me," she replied, her words cutting my flesh like a sharp knife, making me bleed.
I licked my lips, nodding despite the pain slicing me in half. "You're right. I don't own you. But it doesn't mean I'll just sit and watch as other man takes advantage of your situation! I will not let that happen, Jade."
"And why? Because you don't like it when someone else is touching me? Is that the reason? Your selfishness?"
"Because I care for you!" I blurted, frustration eating me slowly. Damn, I didn't know that she could be this stubborn and hard when she's drunk. Alcohol was also eating me right now so my patience was running thin.
"I don't need your care!" she yelled, stunning me. "Shove that care to your fucking ass 'cause I don't need it! In fact, I don't need you! Leave me alone!"
"Well, I need you!" I roared, losing control of my mouth and mind. "I fucking need you, Jade! I fucking NEED you!" I shouted before her. I witnessed how shock and confusion invaded her eyes. I turned my back from her, my eyes clenched shut as I tried to ease my breathing. Shit. I would not explode right now. I should not erupt like this.
But the feelings I kept deep inside my bones were clawing their way out. They wanted to crawl from the dark places where I buried them. They were tired of hiding.
I placed my palm on my forehead, rubbing it aggressively. "I need you, Jade," I murmured. I gripped on my hair tight, I felt like going insane. Is this the result of hiding these emotions for so long?
I inhaled deeply and faced her. She was still on her spot, frozen and wide-eyed. I looked up at the ceiling, contemplating if I should vomit the words out or just swallow them and bury them to where they were before.
My stupid mouth didn't even let me think. "The first time I saw you, it was already clear to me what I want from you," I spoke, the words flowing and rolling through my tongue and I couldn't stop them. "I want to fuck you, feel you, kiss you. I want to feel your body shudder under me as I fuck the shit out of you."
I glanced at her. She was staring at the other side of the room but obviously listening.
I took another deep breath. "And so it finally happened. I got to take you, taste you, feel you. I got everything I wanted from you. But then those wants turned to needs and I found myself yearning for you."
Jade snickered. "So that's it? That's what you need? My body?" she asked sarcastically. She spread her arms wide. "Go ahead Harry, fuck me right now and take what you need from me. That's how you see me anyway and I'm so used to it!"
I shook my head with my two fingers pressed to the bridge of my nose. "No, Jade. It's not just your body that I need!" I said, my voice breaking. "I...shit," I murmured helplessly, shutting my eyes and opening them again to look at her. "I need all of you! Your body and your soul and every inch of you! I need you so bad because the truth is I can't stand it when you're not beside me! I feel so fucking lost without you and every time you're with Zayn it feels like my heart is being ripped out from my chest! I need you and I want to be with you but I can't because I'm a fucked up piece of shit and you deserve someone better!"
I turned around because I didn't want her to see my meltdown.
"I never expected to feel this way," I confessed, proving that drunk words are sober thoughts. "But I saw how precious you are. How kind and caring you are to people around you. And then I found myself admiring every little thing you do. I tried to control these fucking feelings, believe me. I tried so fucking hard to stay away from you 'cause you don't deserve a piece of shit like me."
Silence floated for a few minutes. I didn't move in my place, I just tried to breathe slowly to stop the rest of my tears.
"Harry," Jade said gently. I could feel her walking near me. "You're not a fucked up piece of shit. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met."
Jade was so fucking pure that it hurts. She could see the beauty in everything and she would try to understand even the most twisted situation, and it was breaking me because I would never deserve someone like her.
I faced her. Her expression was tender, her eyes soft and thoughtful and it was stabbing me in the chest. I felt like a sinner who's face to face with an angel. Just standing in front of her felt so wrong. "You don't have any idea what you're talking about, Jade. You don't know me. You don't know what kind of mess I am currently into."
She shook her head. "You've been hiding a lot of things from me, I know that. But there were times when I had glimpses of your true self, Harry. You're caring and kind. You're a good person."
My jaw clenched with what she said. God, she was so convinced that I am actually a decent person. "You don't know the real me, the real things I do. You don't know how my real world is."
"Then tell me. Show me. I wanted to know everything about you."
"I'm not sure if you can take it."
"How will you find out if you will not try?"
I gripped on my scalp and avoided her eyes. "You don't understand. I can't...fuck," I cussed. "I can't be with you, Jade."
"Why not?" she cried.
"Because you don't deserve me!" I yelled, very frustrated 'cause I didn't know how I would explain things to her. I wished I could just tell her everything but that would make things worse.
"Who are you to tell me what I deserve and not? I want to be with you! I like you and I care for you a lot! I can't eat and think properly when you're not around! I get so fucking jealous when a girl's name is being mentioned with yours in one sentence! And now that I know that you're feeling the same way to me, I would not just accept your excuse! You can't just confess your feelings to me and leave me hanging! We both wanted to be together, why don't we just jump in and be happy?! You're complicating things!"
Her revelations sent warmth to my veins. I felt like my body floated on the surface of the waters and my lungs finally found the fresh air. Jade...Jade was my air. She could pull me from the deepest part of the waters.
But the good feeling didn't last. Reality punched me in the face. Wake up, Styles. If you let her pull you up, she'll end up drowning with you. You're too heavy to be lifted, your feet were already buried in sin. Not even an angel could save you. Don't drag her into the waters, Harry. Don't fucking do it.
The voices in my head vanished when Jade's palms touched my cheeks. She cupped my face, her eyes looking up to mine. "Let me in, Harry," she muttered, her eyes pleading. "Let your guard down and let me in. I won't rush you to spill everything to me. Just don't push me away. Please. I don't want to lose you, not after telling me what you really feel."
A tear shed from her eyes. Fuck. She shouldn't be crying like this because of me.
Jade suddenly kissed me. Her plump lips lifted all the heaviness from my shoulders. Her kiss was slow yet firm. It was heaven and I completely surrendered to her. My tensed muscles and dubious mind relaxed before her until I completely gave in. I forgot all the troubles in my head and the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted and needed her.
I held her neck as I fed on her lips. Dear Lord...her mouth...her mouth was so sweet and good, bringing air to my lungs. Her fingers tugged my hair lightly and I let out a soft groan. Every little thing that she does could drive me insane.
I was usually rough and aggressive when it comes to Jade. I would normally push her up to the wall, pin her, grip her tight, possess her. Show her how powerful I was. But tonight, I wanted it in a different manner. I wanted to show her how defenseless she could make me. I wanted it slow this time. I wanted to feel every single inch and curve of her body. I wanted this to last long, maybe until forever. God...I just didn't want this to stop.
Her palm went down to my chest, her flaming touch sending heat to my nerves. She was tracing my swallows with her fingers, she knew very much where they are. For the first time, I felt stupid for getting that tattoo. Who needs the swallows when Jade is around?
My hands started to act on their own. Both of them went to her back. Oh, shit. The exposed skin felt so smooth against my palms. I held on them and guided her to a bed nearby, then lay her down slowly, our lips still connected.
When her back was completely flat on the mattress, I broke the kiss and let my mouth wander through her neck. Soft and sweet moans went out from Jade's lips. One of my hands was gently gripping her hair while the other made its way under the hem of her dress. It traveled upwards, looking for something under the sinfully tight fabric.
"Ugh, fuck," I groaned against her throat after touching her wet undies. It could still amaze me that I have this kind of effect on her.
I lifted my head from her neck and brought my face close to hers. "Look at me, Jade," I mumbled. She did, her ecstatic eyes sparkling in front of me. "Does Zayn make you feel like this when he kisses you?" I asked, stroking the soaked spot of her undies with my thumb. "Does he make you wet?"
Jade let out a moan, her eyes closing as my thumb continued their work. "Never," she murmured.
I crashed my lips to hers, my thumb still rubbing her clit. I pulled away from the kiss, my teeth pulling her lower lip. "Is he a better kisser than me? Did you enjoy his kiss more?" I inquired, my chest flaring with jealousy as I remembered how that son of a bitch kissed her.
"No," she replied, her back arching as my thumb went furious between her legs.
Her short answers were more than enough for me. I didn't need her to explain further, her actions were already doing the talking. I knew that it's only me who could make her feel this way. Who could make her crazy and wild and even beg.
Not Zayn, not even her ex-boyfriend.
Only me.
I kissed her again. This time it was firmer and a bit faster, passion written all over our mouths. I removed my thumb between her legs and brought them to her neck, reaching for the halter's tie around it. I hungrily untied them, I've been itching to do this ever since she walked into this party, looking so fucking tempting and angelic at the same time.
When she arrived, I had to fight the urge to drag her away from the party and take her home, because men around were undressing her with their eyes and even mentally fucking her. Even Zayn who was always shy had a massive boner when Jade leaned on his chest, her breast pressed on his stomach. He thought I didn't notice, but I was silently watching him and Jade the whole time.
I pulled her dress down to her waist. I cursed loudly when her bare breasts greeted me.
"No bra, huh?" I smirked before gripping one of her fine tits, admiring how beautiful they are. They were perky, just the right size and it fitted so well in my hands. Like it was made for me.
Jade moaned lowly when I brought her nipple to my mouth. I watched her as she threw her head back while my tongue slid around them. I gripped on the other, my fingers running circles on its nipple.
After spending an eternity on her chest, I tugged her dress down and I almost lose my sanity when I saw her laced thongs. They were white.
"Were you thinking about me when you picked your outfit, babe?" I asked huskily as I completely removed her dress from her legs. I knew I sounded so delusional, but shit. It was like she dressed for me, for my eyes and satisfaction. She knew how much I fucking love it when she's wearing white.
She bit her lip, giving me a shy smile and she looked so fucking seductive. "Kinda," she admitted.
I lifted her leg and kissed her knee. "Really?"
"Yeah," she whispered. "Wanna look good for you," she smiled.
"Oh, babe," I murmured as I removed her high heels. "You could wear just my shirt and you'll still look good in my eyes," I said, and I saw how her cheeks blushed.
When I completely removed her shoes, she rose from the mattress and knelt as she unbuttoned my shirt. She caressed my chest for a while before kissing me again, her delicate hands unbuckling my jeans. Her mouth went down to my neck, then to my chest, and I lost track of what she was doing because all I could think about was how good everything felt.
We dropped back in bed in just our underwear. I hovered over her, our body heat turning to a massive and destructive fireball. My mouth left bites and kisses from her neck to her waist. I saw the mark that I left last week on her waist, and I mentally smirked. I licked it and gently bit the bruise, making Jade cry a little.
I went down between her legs and pulled her thongs with my teeth. Jade moaned sharply when my tongue parted her dripping folds.
"Oh God," she whimpered, clutching the sheets as my tongue licked the places where she wanted it most. I knew how to please her so well now, I've already memorized where and how to touch her. Where to put the pressure. Where her weakness was. Where to be gentle. Where to be furious. I could say that I've already mastered the art of pleasuring Jade.
I had to hold her hips because she was shaking and moving too much as I continued to eat her out. The room was filled with her gasps and moans and it's fucking music to my ears. I watched her silently. Her hair was sexily scattered on her face, some strands were caught between her lips. She's a goddess.
"Harry...shit..." she cried out. My tongue put more pressure on her clit, licking her furiously, determined to make her come.
And I didn't fail. Jade's eyes rolled over her head and her moans went louder as the waves of ecstasy completely washed her away.
I licked and sucked everything that she gave me. Christ. Too good to be true, she's just too much as always.
I removed my boxers and positioned on top of her. I wanted her mouth around my dick, but I wanted to feel her more right now. I stared at her for a moment, stroking my swelling cock. She was breathing heavily, her eyes closed and trying to recover from the orgasm she just had.
I rubbed her clit again. Her body responded by lifting her hips in the air. She wanted it, too. She wanted me inside her.
I kissed her first. "Open your eyes, babe," I told her. "I want to see you while I take you," I demanded.
She opened them. She stared at me, her eyes kind, and...
I frowned a little. "Are you crying? Did I do something wrong?"
Her lips parted to a soft smile. "I'm just really happy that you're with me."
"Oh, Jade," I whispered. I kissed her smile, then her tears. I rubbed my cock to her entrance. I brought my face right in front of her, I wanted to see her eyes.
I pushed myself towards her. Her eyes lit with pleasure and she let in a sharp breath as I moved on top of her. She then closed her eyes, her teeth biting her lip and it was such a beautiful sight to witness.
I snaked my arm around her waist while my other hand was gripping her hair. Our bodies were still pressed on each other as I continued to thrust into her.
"So good, babe," I moaned while kissing her face. "You're so good."
Hell. Good was an understatement. I've been with a lot of girls but Jade was just so different. She's exquisite and I would never get enough of her.
Jade's grip on my back got tighter. Her nails dug deeper into my skin and I didn't give a shit if it hurts me. Jade could peel me alive and I wouldn't mind. She could do anything to me, anything and I would be thankful for it.
I thrust a bit harder and Jade let out a loud moan.
"You like that?" I asked.
"Y-yes."
My cock gave her another sudden and heavy slam. "You like it hard baby?"
"Fuck yes!" she yelled, losing her cool.
"Then that's what you'll get," I said hoarsely. I had no plans of fucking her hard but if that's what she wants, then that's what I would give. Because it's no longer about me, but all about her.
I removed my weight from her and knelt between her. I lifted her legs and placed them on my neck. Her ass was slightly up in the air. I planted a soft kiss to her thigh first, then started to drill on her.
"Oh my God!" Jade cried out. "Shit!"
Oh fuck. This was too much, way too much. She was so wet and burning hot and getting tighter around my dick. Not to mention her delicious moans and gasps for air.
"God, Harry..." she groaned deliriously and I knew what it meant. I was honestly relieved to hear it because I didn't think I could last any longer.
I fucked her roughly yet passionately. Every move I made was burning with the intensity of my feelings for her, showing her how crazy I become for her. I was practically consuming her. Taking everything that she has. My hunger for her was palpable and I knew she was feeling the same way.
"God!" Jade sighed out, tightening around me. Her palms stroked my biceps and she gripped on them as she shook under me.
"You're so beautiful, angel," I murmured, then began to thrust rhythmically. Eager and harder. Intense sensation spread lazily to my veins, orgasm ready to claim me. The feeling turned savage as fire exploded over my head, the flames burning my flesh.
It was such a sweet burn. I've been under the cold waters for a long time and it was Jade who showed me again how warmth felt like.
And it was addicting. Ever since she gave me a taste of fire, I found myself yearning and aching for it. She became my sanctum and the last string to sanity.
I turned my eyes back to her. She was already staring me, she probably saw it when I reached the cliff of glory. She smiled sweetly. I collapsed on top of her, then kissed her again, hoping this night would never end.
She pulled away from my lips. "Harry, uhm...the song you sang earlier...did you...
"Did I sing it for you?" I cut in, panting. "Yes, babe. I did," I confirmed. That song was basically screaming her name.
She pursed her lips. "I don't want somebody else," she murmured, her arms embracing me.
I kissed her forehead. "Me too, angel. Me too."