**Selina**
I dashed into the house and three heads in the living room shot in my direction. I ignored them and stomped my way up the stairs to my room. I banged the door behind me and jumped into bed.
I am confused. A million thoughts running through my head buried in the sheets.
"Why are you crying?
"Did you allow yourself to fall for a stranger?....a guy you barely know?
"Are you that desperate for another jerk in your life? When you're almost always messed up at the end of every relationship you jump into?
"What attracted you to him?
"The looks?"
"Shut up!" I almost yelled at the voice in my head.
"The talent?"
"I said SHUT UP!!" I yelled this time and I could feel the smirk on my subconscious.
"Oh, the body huh? That hot body you badly wanted to..."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" I screamed at my subconscious and sat up in bed. I messed my hair up with my fingers as the tears run down.
"Selina?" Mom knocked on the door. "You okay?"
I tried to lower my sobs and ignored her question.
"Selina?" She repeated.
"I'm okay," I replied in a shaky tone. "I just wanna be alone."
"Are you sure? You don't sound..."
"Just leave me alone!" I snapped.
"Alright," She sighed. "I'm always free...if you want to talk."
I sighed and leaped out of bed. I put my palm on my forehead and paced the room back and forth.
"I'm not gonna cry again." Another version of my voice rung in my head, a confident but angry one.
"He's not worth it. I mean come ooon...you just met that douche!"
I wiped the tears off of my face, sighed and walked to the bathroom to have a shower.
It was tough trying to forget but with my headphones blasting in my ears, I did almost fifty percent of the work.
I walked out of my room when mom called for supper. At dinner, I got the weirdest gazes ever. My mom would occasionally raise her head and look at me in a kinda confused way and when our eyes meet, she quickly turns and digs into her food. Marian and dad mostly peeked at me with their heads bowed towards their food.
I had decided to act normal like nothing really happened. After dinner, I hummed and pushed my chair back to exit the room.
"Selina?" Mom called when I got to the entrance.
"Mmmmm?"
"You want to talk?"
"Abboouutt?" I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about.
"About...earlier?"
"Oh, that. I'm perfectly fine." I grinned and she looked at me suspiciously.
Sitting alone in my room will trigger thoughts I don't want to have and so in oder to let sleeping dogs lie, I sat with them in the sitting room. I never paid any attention to whatever they were watching on the TV that made them laugh. They could do that all day--Its a weird fam after all.
I put on my crazy headphones on again and gave Linkin Park the way to rock my world--no slow songs. I listened to the album over and over till I could sing almost all of them from A to Z. I was very glad there was no interruptions from my company. When it was almost nine pm, I stood up and went to my room without saying a word to them.
When I was finally alone in my room, I realised even my headphones weren't helping. I turned it up to the highest volume and there was still no change.
The sound in my ears were no longer of the music I was listening to but rather of the sound from his flute. I wondered when and how all this happened. When and how I allowed myself to be fooled like this. When and how I allowed myself to be almost carried away. When and how?
We just met for two...okay three days and look at me--all down in the dumps. Allowing someone take over your mind is something I always thought was a gradual process. A very slow one that needed quite a lot of time. I really never knew until now.
I squeezed my eyes shut trying to hold back the tears threatening to pour out. His images flashed in the vision I was expecting to be dark so I opened them again. What was there to do again? Stay awake all night crying or shut my eyes and watch a Bilal--no, a Chelpang film?
Different thoughts and curses and insults run through my restless mind as I watched the ceiling and the spinning fan. Then she finally came. The long awaited sleep finally arrived.
Then he also came, banging hard on my door and calling out my name to open up. I wondered how he was able to get through mom and dad up to my room. Who even showed him my room?
His once deep voice sounded hoarse as he called me and tried to explain himslef.
"Open up Selina, I need to talk to you. I need to explain things to you." His voice sounded pleading.
I ignored him and just sat up in my bed, hugged my knees and rested my chin on them. He begged and banged for me to let him in but I acted like I was not in the room.
"I know you're in there and can clearly hear me. I'm Bilal okay but I..."
"You're Chelpang!" Her voice cut him off.
"Yes, I'm Chelpang. But..."
"No buts!" I finally snapped. "You simply lied to me."
"Listen to me..." He pleaded.
"Chelpang just leave her alone and lets go." She cut him off again.
"You two just leave me alone!"I yelled at them from behind the door. "You're not worth my attention. Just leave!!"
"You have to just listen to..."
"To another lie?!" I shrieked.
"No!"
"So why? Why should I listen to you?"
"'Cause I...I..."
"You what?!"
"Because I'm...."
His voice echoed and faded away as I placed my hand on the door knob.
"You're..." I sat up in bed. "What?"
Even sleep didn't give me what I wanted. It didn't give me a peaceful rest as it mostly should. It was kind of enough rest but not peaceful. I got out of bed and fixed myself up for the day before going down for breakfast.
I was surprised Dad had a visitor around this time until I looked at the time on the clock. They were chatting in the sitting room so I tried to sneak into the kitchen without his notice.
"Lina," he called and I froze at the entrance. "Come, come and say hi to Karmil."
I slowly walked to them with a small fake smile on my face.
"Hi, good morning."
"Good morning." He smiled. "How're you?"
"I'm fine, thanks."
Dad cleared his throat, "Selina, Karmil brought my car this morning. He's going to be around to help James and I with our projects and also to drive us around for a while."
I looked at him once again. He looked younger than what I expect a driver to look like--much younger than Adams. Probably a guy in his early twenties.
"Nice to finally meet you. Your dad mentioned you earlier." He grinned.
"Nice to meet you too." My dad never mentioned you.
"Your mom and Marian are outside checking the car out. Wanna join them?" Dad asked.
"Yeah, sure. After breakfast."
I turned and walked back to the kitchen and had some cereal. Afterwards, I drunk a small cup of juice and went out to see the car.
It wasn't what I expected but looked okay for a family of four. Its a white jeep with two rows of seats and huge tyres. It looked too hard and too manly for my liking. I don't know about cars but it looked like my ex's dream car--a G Wagen.
"Hey," Marian waved at me from the backseat. "You're finally awake."
"You like it?" Mom asked smiling.
"Yeah," I nodded. "Its not bad."
Later when Karmil left, Dad came out and we gave the jeep a first drive around the neighborhood.
The next few days were the most boring ones ever. I never went near the woods even though he stopped playing after the first three days which meant he had stopped coming. Dad took us to his site at the school for the disabled where he was overseeing the construction of a new dispensary. James popped in from time to time to discuss stuff with dad and Karmil came in once in a while to run errands and also to give me weird looks. I on the other hand never had a dreamless sleep at night.
Staying away from him did me good. I was happy with the progress I was making in just a few weeks. The dreams had sworn never to stop but had reduced.
"Selina," Dad called from downstairs and I popped my head out of my room. "We're running out of some groceries so get the list from your mom and Karmil will take you to the nearest grocery store to get them."
Karmil? "Alright dad."
I don't know, but the guy acts weird around me. Ever since we met, he's always been trying to bring up unnecessary conversations and always when I'm alone.
When Karmil finally arrived, I went for the list and asked Marian to go with us. He frowned when he saw me with Maria and quickly smiled again when she greeted him.
"We're walking there, aren't we?" Marian asked.
"Yeah. Your dad drove out with Mr. James." He responded when we started walking.
The rest of the walk was almost Marian talking to herself. He only answered her questions and whenever he tried to involve me in the conversation, I reply cheekily. He pointed at places like the community school, the mosque beside it, the church and a whole lot of places I never paid attention to.
"That's the grocery store." He pointed when we were about two hundred meters away.
We walked into the grocery store and started searching for the stuff on my list. Its a pretty big store and so we had to roam for about twenty minutes before we found everything on the list. We walked to the counter together to pay.
"Selina, over here." Karmil called.
"Selina?" A voice repeated my name and I froze.
I couldn't raise my head up.
This can't be.
It can't be him.
When I finally got the strength to look up, our eyes met. It is him. His hair had grown bushier and and fit him perfectly. His eyes looked at me dreamily but full of sadness. It reminded me of how he looked the last day I saw him.
Karmil and Marian looked at us to and fro confused.
"Chelpang, check out my...score..." A guy we met sitting outside the store rushed in and paused when he saw us.
At the mention of his name, I turned and walked out of the store. I heard footsteps closing up behind me and I increased my footings. He run and stood in front of me.
"Get out of my way...please?"
"Selina, please listen to me. I'm Bilal, yes and I'm also Chelpang. I can't explain right now but please meet me there...in the woods after three. Please." He begged.
I looked up at him and had no choice but to nod. He smiled weakly and before he run back, his fingers brushed the back of my palm and I felt a jolt run through me.
**Bilal**
"That bitch!" Chentiwuni exclaimed when I narrated what had happened earlier in the woods. "What did you do to her?"
"I was so confused Chenti. I didn't know what to do so I just walked out on her."
"Aarrghh...you're so lame!" She hit my couch. "Girls like that don't deserve to be treated gently. I'm sure she's gonna come back."
"Hmmmm...I don't hope so. " I shook my head.
*
"What's up? You look like hell." Chenti asked when I walked into the sitting room.
"I've been going to the woods for three days now and she doesn't come. I no longer see her."
"You wouldn't see me if it were me." She giggled.
"You're not helping okay." I stood up to get water from the kitchen and she followed me.
"Look, you don't expect to see her right after Berla blew everything up. She's probably think everything you told her about you is a lie if your name is a 'lie'. Give her some time. If she likes you, you'll see her again. But right now, don't stop going there...keep going and stop playing. She might think you've stopped coming and might check."
I nodded and drunk the water. "Thanks. I hope that works out."
"Why are you even so worked up about this?" She asked.
Now this is a question I haven't been able to answer to myself. I don't know what's happening to me. All I know is that there's just something I can't seem to find a name for ever since I set my eyes on her. I allowed it to grow in me and now its going to cost me.
"Hmmm?" She looked at my face.
"I don't...I don't know." I balled my hands into fists.
"I hope you get to know soon." She smiled and left the kitchen.
The next day, I went to the woods after work and didn't play. I patiently sat there longer than usual but she never came. The next day was the same and the day after. I never stopped going there 'cause I was always optimistic she would change her mind and show up. I would just sit on the rock and look at the stream doing nothing but just thinking. Thinking about nothing but her.
*
"Mom, I'm off to work." I passed behind her in the sitting room.
"Bilal, how're you this morning?" She asked.
"I'm fine mom. How about you?"
"Alhamdulillah...I'm also fine." She nodded. "Son?"
"Mmmm?" I turned to her when I was at the door.
"You've not been taking care of yourself. Do well to get a haircut, you look like an animated tree."
"Hahahaha...mom!" I shook my head. "I hear you."
"What am I missing?" Chenti walked in.
"Can you believe mom said I look like an animated tree?"
She laughed out loud as we walked out of the room.
"That looks kinda true." She commented and I jovially pushed her shoulder. "Kidding. You're always cute whether afro or no afro."
"I know right. You wish I were not your cousin huh?"
"Oh c'mon," she rolled her eyes. "Anyways, any news about Selina?"
"Hmmm...no," I shook my head. "Still not seen her. I won't go there again."
"Don't give up that easily. You work hard for things that are worth it. And besides you already used to go there before she arrived. Don't let her be the reason why you're going to stop."
"Right...good point there." I gave her a thumbs up.
"Go there and do your thing like nobody's business."
"Haha...you know what? Maybe I should employ you as my special advisor, you'd make a perfect one."
"Haha...I know right. Say hi to dad."
"Naaa....pay me."
She went back when we got to the main gate and I walked to the store. Abdul was already there playing Temple Run on his phone and Uncle Osman was also watching a program on TV.
"Uncle, Salaam." I greated him.
"Wa Alaiykum Salaam Bilal, how're you doing?"
"I'm good Uncle." I responded and turned to Abdul. "Hey bro, sup?"
"Non of your business." He snapped and ignored me.
"Hheeyy...what's wrong with you?" I sat beside him.
"What's wrong with you!" He paused the game and looked at me.
"Oh, I know what this is about." I forced to laugh.
Yeah, I know what its about. Abdul noticed there was something wrong with me and has been trying to force it out of me all to no avail. I wonder why its so conspicuous.
"I thought we were like brothers. You..."
"Abdul, I will tell you. Not just now. This isn't the right time. Please understand." I pleaded with him.
"Alright, I hope that's going to be soon."
"So what's up with you and Jeeda? She's not been coming here of late."
"She's cool. She's a litte busy with some exams."
"Okay...I thought you found a new meeting place." I winked.
"Haha...nooo." He shook his head. "But she's coming here today."
"Good for you."
"Lets play a Temple Run contest."
"Why don't you go find amateurs like you and stop wasting my time?" I teased.
"You try me this time."
We played and argued for a long time until we had customers in the store. I never noticed them enter 'cause I was playing and when it was Abdul's turn to play, I had to attend to them.
I stood behind the counter checking stuff on the computer when I heard a name that almost shocked me. A name I never expected to hear here.
"Selina?" I repeated.
She raised her head after some time and our eyes met. Just then Abdul rushed in and said something I didn't hear. She turned and left and I followed her.
The guy she came with glared at me after I had spoken to Selina but I ignored him and walked into the store. Abdul looked at me like he was trying to figure out something almost impossible.
"What the freaking hell was that?" He asked.
"What was what?" I pretended.
"Oh c'mon. What's up with you and the white girl? You guys looked at each other like you had found your other halves who turned out to be ghosts."
"Hmmm...I have to tell you now right?" I sat down.
"Yeah, yeah...you better do." He sat beside me.
Abdul is someone I can trust. Just like his elder sister, he's been a good friend and a brother even before the death of my dad. I narrated everything to him and he listened patiently.
We talked about the matter till it was time for me to leave. He wished me luck and I left.
When I got there, I sat on my usual spot and started playing. I ended the first, the second, third and fourth and when I was somewhere in the middle of the fifth, I felt her presence without even turning. I shifted on the rock for her to sit without stopping and she did. I finished playing before looking at her.
"Hey."
"Hi." She responded.
She looked at me briefly before diverting her gaze to the stream again.
"Selina," I started. "I never lied to you. I have two names; Bilal is my Islamic name and Chelpang is my traditional name which means Forgive. I was..."
"Bilal..." She cut me off and I also did same.
"Please let me finish, I'm almost done." I said and she nodded. "I was named after my grandfather who was very great hunter. I was his favourite and so when he passed away, Chelpang was added to my name. I'm Ahmed Bilal Chelpang."
"Bilal, I'm sorry." She said and looked down at her intertwined fingers.
"No, I am sorry. I should've told you."
"No," she shook her head. "I already found out this afternoon about Ghanaians sometimes having two names. I'm sorry for reacting that way."
"Don't worry." I smiled. "There's one more thing." I stood up in front of her, took her hands and gently pulled her up.
"Mmmm?"
"The kiss." Her face turned red when I mentioned it. "I'm sorry it was abrupt but I did mean it."
She bit her lower lip absent-mindedly and I put my hand on her jaw.
"Selina, I must confess that there's something in me which is beyond just liking you. I feel something for you and..."
"You have a girlfriend." She cut me off and looked down.
I held her chin and raised her head up. "Look at me. Berla's not my girlfriend. She and I broke up somewhere last year. I don't know what came over her. You need to trust me."
"Hmmm..." she sighed.
"You might need some time...I understand. I just had to get the load off of me. Just like you said 'the more you speak your mind, the lighter the weight on you becomes.'"
"Bilal, yeah. I need some time to think. There's too much on my mind now."
"I'm sorry. I don't want to force you." Then I don't know what came over me but I just did. I pulled her into a hug. "I missed you." I whispered into her ears.
"I did too." She replied and hugged me back and I almost felt like flying.
*****
Hello,
Hmmm...that was a hell lot of typing. I just couldn't stop writing when I started. This is the longest chap so far. I hope you enjoyed both POVs.
Please do vote, comment and tell your friends to read T-BAWL...okay I just made that up...haha.
Next chapter will be out soon. Thanks for the read. Take care and Stay Blessed. :-)