This chapter is not for the faint hearted and might get your pulses racing...as it is a little racy.... I wanted to get out of my comfort zone to impart how the character was feeling...
Jarod's voice appeared to be talking through a tannoy; one minute I could hear him and the next I could not.
I felt him carry me and lay me onto bed and I appeared to have no power to move. Something didn't felt right about this. Tears slid down my face, and I had no ability to wipe them from my cheeks. The unpleasant taste of metal filled my mouth and an ice cold shiver ran down my back.
Jarod spoke to me as I lay on the bed in a comatose state, the sound of satisfaction was impossible to miss.
"Oh dear, what a shame. Looks like you are staying here tonight. That wine must have gone to your head. I'll have to help you get ready for bed."
Jarod began to remove my clothes and it felt as though he was taking his time enjoying the task until I was naked. His fingers stroked every part of my body and his hunger was evident in his dark piercing eyes. Unable to resist, I just remained unmoving like a rag doll. Jarod seemed to leave me for a long time unclothed on top of the bed and it was unclear what he was doing. I wanted to cover myself but I could do nothing.
He reappeared and covered my eyes with some mask but I could just about see through it. It felt very disconcerting and I had no power to resist his body and what he did to me. I seemed to have lost the power even to speak.
Jarod then left the bedroom. Time seem to have no context. One moment I felt coherent and the next I did not.
I hated the vulnerability of remaining naked alone on the bed and unable to measure the length time.
My ears strained to hear any noise trying to utilise all my senses, to give me a sign of what was likely to happen next. Yes, he was talking to someone. Was it Theodora? I could not be certain especially as he sounded as though he was being nice to her, which seemed strange in light of their recent arguments. It all seemed odd. Why was he talking to her now? Why had he left me here?
I tried hard in my confused state to concentrate and work out what he was saying, "yes she stayed, I convinced her to stay, don't worry, everything is going to plan. The child, don't worry, I have given her a large dose of Calpol, just enough ......we won't be disturbed, quite safe, don't worry. Need to go now." I heard the click of the land line and the door open.
Jarod came back into the room, I heard him turn the lock in the door. He had never done that before and that made me more nervous than ever.. My naked body began to sweat, cloaked with the aroma of fear and my face felt wet from tears.
I noticed him leaving on the main bedroom lights which seemed a strange thing to do as he finished undressing himself.
I felt my wrists being tied to each of the bed posts with something smooth and soft like a silk tie and I saw him position his lap top on the dressing table in front of the bed and the screen appeared to lit up.
It was as if I was having an out of body experience, floating above myself and seeing myself from another viewpoint.
Jarod spoke into the computer, "you can say whatever you want. She's completely out of it. What you gave me, worked a treat. I'm happy to do whatever you want me to do to her, within the agreed limits. Look, you know I get a kick out of this too, but this is a private party just between us not to go any further. You are not to broadcast this out on the net with your cronies. or I will reveal your dirty secrets too. So are my terms agreed, or I will switch off now!"
I heard a muttered response before he carried on, "Good. So, you have the power, to choose what I do, for tonight you are in control of what I do to her. I will pleasure her as directed. I will perform for you, just like before. But then we are fair and square and my debt is paid in full. I will just put my mask on. "
Were these the words I heard? I couldn't process everything and filled in the gaps. Maybe I was having a nightmare. I could not do anything but continue to lie there motionless. What the hell what he going to do?
Over the next few hours I am not sure what happened, as it passed in a haze with flashes of memories that did not connect and didn't make sense. I appeared to be moved into various positions and moved around the bed at will.
At another point I felt as though my hands and legs were bound up, both separately and apart. I felt the aches in my legs and all over my body as if we had made love all night
My body felt disconnected from what was happening. At times it was erotic, not knowing what he was going to do me and only feeling the touch of his hands stroke me and his tongue lap at my body.
Then I felt the whip glide slowly over my skin, pausing intermittently, to sharply hit me, just enough to make me cry out before he glided over my body. Stroking my inner thighs and leaving it to just drift over my special place making me ache for him regardless. Then he drew circles around my breasts making the circles smaller and smaller until they reached my nipples and then he struck me so hard, I gasped for air.
This was a mixture of pleasure and pain, utter confusion and fear as he then without emotion he had sex with me. You could not call it love, there was no love in the way he had me. It was as though he had a job to do, I was there and he used me. Again and again!
Throughout it all, every touch, each movement he made, I heard the man on the computer tell Jarod, to thrust harder and deeper into me, until he was spent and he was done with me. Then Jarod left me on the bed as I was, crying in confusion alone and naked thinking that at last it had ended.
It didn't seem very long until he was back and ready for me again and throughout it all, I heard the old man speaking to him, giving lurid and precise instructions. I wanted no one else to see my body but the man I loved. Now the man I loved was sharing the most intimate moments with someone I didn't know and causing me pain. My broken heart wept on death ears.
The voice continued giving instructions, Jarod always complying with his demands. Until Jarod turned me over. I felt something like a cane, hitting my bullocks sharply. I recalled calling out and a flannel being placed in my mouth and the cane continued to hit me, no matter how hard I cried. I heard someone say, "that's enough," but at this point I felt almost deranged and had no idea whose voice this was.
My legs were raised for so long they ached but I did not understand why. As he continued to move my body into different positions it ached even more.
When it seemed it would go on forever, everything came to a stop. I felt Jarod removing the silk from my wrists one at a time. Then bathing my buttocks and applying cream to them and dressing me in some clothing.
My face was wiped with a wet cool flannel which appeared to be one of the few considerations he gave me before pulling the quilt over me and turned off the lights.
That night I dreamt he appeared as a stranger in a nightmare that made no visible sense as I drifted in and out of sleep. His body retreating to the far side of the bed, offering no tenderness towards me.
If I could have had the physical strength to walk out of that room at that moment, I would have done so and never come back but I was incapable of doing anything and I still wanted to know why he was doing this. Why would the man who purported to love me, subject me to this degrading spectacle of being someone else's entertainment. It made me feel dirty and unloved, as if I was worth nothing. Was I his plaything to do and use as he pleased? What had he done to me, that I was incapable of not being able to defend myself and stop being used in such a way. What was Theodora's involvement in this?
My head span round and round as I seemed to drift in and out of a consciousness with a flood of questions firing at my head in all directions and then all at once I was asleep in a restless state tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable space in the bed to sleep. My arm stretched out and the bed now appeared to only contain me. There was this overwhelming feeling of needing to close my eyes and rest and yet filled with all the uneasiness and bewilderment of the situation I found myself in.
Sleep began to overwhelm me, even though I was scared and I didn't feel safe.
Edit 4- 15/5/2018
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Many thanks
Kimberley S B Lieb