I had been home one week and wedding planning was already almost finished. Everything from the guest list to the wedding dress had been chosen. Not by me though. Laurie tried to force me to look at designer dresses and try 50 different flavored cakes but with each task she presented I would tell her I didn't care so ultimately she would end up choosing to get the ball rolling. Even now I sat in The Ladies Room as Laurie lectured me about public affection with Gabriel at the wedding and what not to do.
I rested my elbow on the arm rest, fluttering my eyelids closed as she droned on and on. Before my mind could wonder I heard the soft click of the door being closed and jerked my head towards the noise.
"Your Majesty," Laurie curtsied. I stayed sitting and turned my attention back towards Laurie never moving from my bored position.
"Wedding planning still? Mind if I listen in?" Olivianna asked, although she was already taking a seat next to me.
"Of course not, Your Majesty, although we are almost finished up. Ember, your father will be staying the night before the wedding so we wont have to send a car and his tux the day of but... we really need to know the day of," Laurie inclined her head forward begging me for the millionth time in one week to choose a date. I had never been so annoyed in my entire life. The first couple of times she asked I told her, once again, I did not care but she refused to make this decision.
"What is today?" I asked letting out a long sigh.
"August 2nd," Laurie answered without missing a beat.
"August 9th then," I answered.
Laurie's eyes grew slightly, "But-but Ember that's in one week."
"And?" I asked, squinting my eyes at her.
"There's so much to do-"
"The weddings planned Laurie. You've been bereding me all week without giving me even a moment to mourn for my sister and mother. You've got the cake, the dress, decorations, guest list now find a way to make it happen on the 9th or so help me when I'm Queen you'll be the first I fire," I threatened. Laurie didn't say another word. She turned on her heel with her clip board and left the room.
I watched as she left, meeting eyes with Olivianna only briefly then stared forward hoping she would leave too.
"Well done," she declared, "You'll have to control that temper in front of the public though."
I wanted to spit in her face. Tell her I know all of her secrets and lies, tell her how dare she try to give me advice when she's the worst Queen this country has ever had. I didn't though. I had seen my mothers fate when she admitted who Olivianna really was and I wasn't looking for a death sentence.
"I wanted to give you something-" she began.
"I don't want it," I told her with an annoyed voice.
"You will," she mumbled. "The day of the shooting Gabriel asked his father if your sister and mother could be buried on the grounds so that you could visit them often. His father agreed and we discussed that maybe... we could give your mother and sister a memorial."
My eyes filled to the brim with tears but I refused to look her way and show her weakness. I cleared my throat once, not trusting my voice.
"Well, thank you," I said softly. "I would really appreciate that."
"Well," she began, "I'm glad."
She hesitated one more moment as if she wanted to continue but instead stood from her chair and left the room. She turned back hesitantly and called over her shoulder.
"I advise you not to wander the halls anymore, dear. Curiosity could even kill a princess."
I stared at her back until the door were closed and she was out of sight then I left my tears flow until my eyes were raw. In that moment, I knew my mother had been right. I knew the Queen was fully against the King.
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"August 9th?" Gabriel scoffed, "Why August 9th?"
"Because it's sooner rather then later. Wouldn't you rather be married to me in a week rather then a couple months," I looked up giving him a questioning look. I was laying on my stomach on my familiar bed while kicking my legs in the air. My mythology book lay in front of me as I flipped through the pages.
Gabriel laughed out loud at my response, his back shaking my headboard. "Well of course, I didn't know if that date was sentimental to you is all."
"Nope, although my birthday is the 11th so double the presents," I smiled up to him.
"You can have a present every single day of the year if that's what you want," he informed me.
I shook my head giggling and flipped over to my back. Staring up at the chandelier I whispered, "Your mother told me today that you asked for my mom and sister to be buried here."
"Hm, did she? I wish she hadn't. I wanted to ask you myself before assuming if that's what you wanted," He said pushing himself down to lay on his side.
"That was really sweet of you, Gabriel. I'd really love that," I told him softly. "It seemed like it made your mother upset though."
"It shouldn't," Gabriel said, his eyebrows furrowing.
It was then I had to fight back from telling him everything. That she hates my mother, that she killed my mother and that she even threatened to kill me. I wanted to tell him about the room Madden and I had found even if it made him angry that we had been alone. I wanted so badly to tell him every little detail my mother told me before her death and what my dad had told me on the roof, even if they were lies. I felt like I was ready to explode with information so I changed the subject.
"So where are we going on the honeymoon?" I asked genuinely curious.
"Nope not telling," he said flipping to his back.
"Come on, don't be that way!" I exclaimed sitting up to look him in the face.
"No Ember! It's a surprise," he said firmly, still avoiding eye contact.
I turned my body to straddle his stomach and begged once more but he folded his arms and shook his head repeatedly.
"Okay then, tell me this," I proposed. "What kind of climate will we be in?"
"No Ember! That's the best surprise!"
"When will we leave for it then?"
"Right after the oath," he answered. "There you have one tiny hint, it won't take extremely long to get there."
"The oath?" I asked, staring down at him. His eyes finally met mine then.
"Laurie hasn't taught you the oath?" He asked and I shook my head in return.
"All royalty, even our children at a certain age have to take it. Just answering that they are committed to our country and agree that if they are ever caught with treason they will be killed immediately. That's never been an issue though and hopefully never an issue with you," he laughed. I didn't though and he gave me a half hearted smile when I looked out my window.
"What's wrong?" he asked sitting up and scooting back to rest against the headboard, bringing me with him.
"Do soldiers take that oath?" I asked switching the subject again. Olivianna would be killed if I told anyone. Now I know why my mother was killed immediately.
Gabriel hesitated a moment, searching my eyes, "Yes. They do. Every soldier takes a stronger oath though. An oath stating that their bodies are no longer their own. They swear that they will do anything and everything to protect Illea and the citizens, that they would die in another's place to protect, that they would die before belonging to any other country."
I stared at him, wide eyed and frankly scared. His voice so... heartless.
"Why?" he asked, "Have someone in mind?"
I rolled my eyes, "Of course not!"
"So this Madden has done nothing of sorts to bring this tragic ending on himself?" He raised one eyebrow and I wondered what he was truly asking me.
"No, Gabriel!" I exclaimed and rolled off of him so I no longer had to be face to face with him. I scooped up my book and pretended to be reading so he would stop talking about Madden.
"About this Madden fellow-" he began and I cut him off with a groan. He fidgeted with his fingers suddenly while I turned to him.
"What you saw is all that happened between Madden and myself. We danced, that is all!" I yelled angrily. He was taken aback by my outburst.
"I just wanted to apologize to you," he said somberly.
"Oh," I huffed. "For what?"
"For arguing with him while it was not the place nor time. I gave you no time with your sister in the few minutes she was alive... and I hate that she passed listening to us scream at each other," he admitted looking at his hands.
"Hey," I whispered taking his hand in mine, "If it were me in your position and I had just learned you'd danced with your ex and lied, I probably would've had the same reaction."
He looked at me suddenly, "Why did you lie?"
I shrugged, "I didn't want this fight." It was a lie for several reasons. One, Madden had told me things. Things he'd probably get in trouble for if anyone knew. And two, I wanted Madden to keep telling me these things. If no one else would keep me in the loop, he could.
"So that was the only time, apart from the hospital, that you had seen him?" He asked and I really wish he hadn't. I hated lying to Gabriel but one day, I promised myself, I would come clean about everything. I couldn't about this, not now. Unless I wanted to die.
"Yes," I whispered. "That's the only time I seen him."
I slept alone that night, drowning in my thoughts. Olivianna obviously knew or assumed that someone was in her cave below the palace although I'm not sure if she really knew it had been Madden and I. If she did, I wandered if she'd go ahead and kill of Madden or if that's why he was suddenly sent to the border. That's just one more person close to me Olivianna would kill, how many more would it take? My father? Gabriel? Surely she wouldn't kill her own flesh. She's obviously willing to start a war against her husband so I decided to not put it past her.
I wandered what I would say to my father when he would come here. He told me that my mother was crazy, that she needed help and that she had no idea what she was talking about. He lied. But for what? If what my mother had said was true about Olivianna then she had to be telling the truth about my father and that made him the enemy. I prayed he wasn't the enemy. It left me with no family at all.
But maybe that was easier. Maybe not having anyone to lose is better then to be loved by many and having many to lose. I fell asleep praying that I would never lose Gabriel.