Anu
"Is there anything you want from New York that I can bring back with me?" I sit between my dadi and dada on a bench in the patio, sipping chai. Resting my head on, dada's shoulder, I hold onto dadi's hand.
"Just make sure you bring yourself back, beta," dadi pats my knee in a soft, cooing rhythm. Like most nights when we would be on the balcony, my head on her lap and her hands smoothing over my hair.
"I don't understand why you are going all the way to New York when you have to come back here in three days. What is so important," I can hear the confusion in dadu's voice. He always worries about us, especially us girls. Since we were born he's doted on all of us, attending to our every need and even as we get older, he stills sees us as these toddling little babies just learning to say dada.
"You're an old man, you wouldn't understand," dadi pokes fun at him reaching over to pinch his cheek.
"Oh, oh!" his shoulder stiffens under my head "Privacy with your guy friend, I see," slowly sipping his chai he looks straight ahead into the backyard, feeling awkward.
"No! I have a few things to get done before the wedding. I originally planned to go back home, right after Navratri but with the wedding that can't happen. You do know I have a job, and a whole other life in New York, right?"
"Beta stop blubbering, we're old but we were young once. Finding love, chasing it too. We all saw what you did last night. That small gesture binds two souls together for lifetimes," dadi explains, toying with the mangalsutra around her neck. Sid and I were bound by fate before we even know what love was. Before last night, before we started dating, way before we even met for the first time.
Lifting myself up from the bench, I turn around tipping my head down, tapping on my cheeks for a kiss from both of them. When they both lean in, I throw my arms around them, closing my eyes, smiling. There really is nothing like the love and affection of grandparents.
Sidharth comes out the back seat of the car in an extra-long olive-green t-shirt, ripped black jeans and boots topped off with a pair of gold-rimmed black aviators, helping me to store my carryon into the trunk. I don't pack much since I'm going home, but still, there's always a few essentials a girl must travel with. Silent and brooding, he just grunts lightly at my greeting, rushing back to his seat.
For the entire ride to the airport, he's busy on his phone. Not once does his hard-set jaw even twitch as he taps away on the screen. Eyes blocked by his sunglasses I can't tell if he's angry or concentrated. But from the extreme cold shoulder, he's giving me, I'll just go out on the limb and say, angry. Sidharth is the type of person to let his fury, boil up and fume terribly until he snaps in the most outward projected way. Which usually results in a lot of screaming, hitting things and of course drinking.
To keep up with his fast walking pace I'm practically running behind Sid. An airport personnel wheels our luggage while another leads us down a private entrance to Sid's jet. Both men on their P's and Q's because of his outright livid mood. We trot up the front steps into the luxury aircraft, Titan. Apart from Rai Consolidated fleet of corporate jets, Sidharth keeps Titan for all of his travels, be it business or personal. Stuffing his duffle bag into the overhead bin, he pushes past me down the aisle of passenger seats disappearing into the onboard office.
Once we're in the air, I order a Manhattan to work up the nerve to seek him out. I substitute the usual bourbon or Tennessee whiskey for a strong Scotch whiskey. Since dating Sid, if its one thing I learned to love its scotch. I didn't particularly care for it before, but couldn't resist when I would kiss Sid after he had a shot or two on the rocks, that's how he would take it, or if he had a particularly hard day, neat.
Blowing out a nervous breath, I hold onto the back of the seats walking down the aisle, past the sitting area, towards the office. The office door suddenly flies open and Sid steps out in all his fuming glory. Lightly itching his scruffy jaw, his lips turn up in a sexy snarl. Seeing me he sighs heavily, lowering his face. Passing his left hand through his now overgrown, thick hair, he closes his eyes, breathing out.
"You make it so hard to stay angry at you," he mumbles leaning up against the wall, rolling his head to look up at the jet's ceiling.
"Why are you angry?" feeling more at ease, I step closer to him. My hand resting on his chest the other traveling up his neck to his ear.
"The freaking stunt you pulled last night! Anuksha...you have any idea what you even started? Both of our families saw, now there's the expectation of us getting married and we're not even together anymore,"
"Like you give a rat's ass what people think. I did what you were afraid to do and that was to commit. This back and forth, together, not together, fight, stop speaking, get intimate and suddenly we're all lovey-dovey again, is frankly getting me on my last fucking nerves," hands sprawled over my hips to my ass, I feel the burning of his finger against my jeans, spreading an aching heat between my legs.
"What happened in Delhi was a moment of weakness, on my part, and a very bad decision. I'm sorry but last night means nothing, it never will. You might have promised yourself to be my wife, my partner for lifetimes to come, but it was all in vain. We will never be together in that way or any way, other than two people who know each other cordially,"
"You don't know what my promise was and don't assume you know my feelings either. I've had immense clarity over the past days, Sid. I'm not pursuing you anymore, I really am calling it quits. All I'm asking is that you regard me as a trusted friend and know that no matter what I'll always be there for you. I can't, nor do I wish to, erase our memories together because they were beautiful and I will cherish them but that's all we'll ever be, a beautiful memory," rising on my toes, I kiss his cheek.
If I want to get the truth out of Sidharth I have to make him feel as though he's won, that I've given up on him and us as a couple. If he thinks that I no longer see him as the man I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with, then maybe he'll confide in me as a friend that he is dying. He has many admirable qualities, but being so headstrong has to be one of the greatest. Sid will crawl through mud to get his way, and I must do the same.
Before we fly to New York, Sid has some business he needs to take care of in Switzerland first.
Still hell-bent on keeping the truth from me, he lies about having an important business meeting with the board of directors of his company's Zurich office. I'm sure he's meeting his doctors today, following the episode after our night out and then the nosebleed. Those were the only two incidents that I witnessed for myself, and I wonder how many others he's had to endure without anyone knowing.
By the time we land after the eight-hour-long flight, it's early afternoon in Zurich and autumn is in full swing, snowfall starting early this year. Sid pulls out the black leather jacket with spike trimmings on the shoulders that I bought for him. I throw on a light coat and change out of my flats into boots.
We're chauffeured to Sid's newly purchased home, a literal small mansion on the lake. Its old-timey charm is greatly offset by the modern furnishings and interior, but nevertheless, it's beautiful. From the second-floor terrace outside the master's bedroom, you get the most amazing view of the lake and the lush greenery of the backyard leading out to the docks.
The house is situated not too far from the city's business hub, which I wouldn't expect of Sid. He likes to be in the thick of things, valuing efficiency and convenience, this home puts him off by being secluded and a good commute to the Rai Consolidated Zurich office but it must be close to his doctor's office.
Freshly showered he steps out the bathroom wrapped in a towel around his waist. I don't think he notices me standing on the terrace because he drops the towel on the floor rummaging through his duffle before sucking on his teeth and receding into the walk-in closet, which by itself is a large enough to be a bedroom. Leaving the closet doors open I see ogle his firm behind as it flexes with every step and the way his cock swings around as he moves.
Chiding myself, I turn away feeling a crimson heat spreading over my neck and cheeks. Focusing on the lake, I try and ignore the frenzied feeling fluttering through my stomach and the sweet ache I still feel for having Sid pleasure me. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. Biting down on my lips, I close my eyes, steadying my breathing suppressing the moan bubbling in my throat.
"Hey, you okay?" I jump when I hear his voice and feel his warm palm spread over the small of my back.
"Yeah, I'm fine," smiling tightlipped, I awkwardly tuck my hair behind my ear. I don't know how to act around him. We're usually so open with one another about everything that my body doesn't get the message yet.
"Are you sure? You look a bit flustered," being this close to Sid doesn't help either with learning to control these reactions and feelings, and put them at bay.
"I'm sure," nodding I reach for his tie, tucking it straight around his neck, flatting my palm over the length down his stomach.
"Well, I'm off. I shouldn't be too long, we can grab dinner together and then head back to the jet, or if you would like to stay the night, I don't mind," kissing me square on the mouth he smiles and then realizes, briefly closing his eyes scrunching his face "Sorry it's a force of habit,"
"It's alright," looking anywhere but into his eyes, or I swear I'll jump him, I stare at his tie, admiring the way he fills out a suit. I can see the bold definition of his broad chest and stiff, hard abdomen, and I literally feel myself get wet. "I'll be sightseeing and probably go to the museum, or something," I stammer out.
"If you would let me, I'll love to show you around,"
"Sure, I'll like that," Nodding he walks out the room, leaving me to my horny thoughts.
Sid returned two hours later with two Swiss Rail tickets to Zermatt Matterhorn in hopes of teaching me the slopes on the Alps. The three-and-a-half-hour train ride was one experience by itself, getting to see a good portion of the country as we headed to the mountain region. Upon arrival, two staff members fit us into the best gear and we took the mountain lift up to the Riffelberg course, one of the easier courses to navigate but at a higher elevation.
Now that I'm at the top of the snow-covered mountain falling forward on my face every two seconds, I have officially decided that skiing is not the sport for me. What's even more annoying is Sid, having skied before, is versatile and charges this easy level course like nothing. Laughing at my struggle, he comes to the rescue showing me once more, how to balance and move.
I start moving down the snow gradually but as soon as I go to move my legs they start shifting outward until I'm doing a full split. Grimacing, he helps me up showing me once again to have my feet shoulder-width apart, toes pointing inwards and heels apart so the skis are in a V shape. I go again and after what feels like the hundredth time I finally move steadily and at a controlled speed.
Cheering me on Sid comes behind me moving at the same steady pace encouraging me every step of the way of how great I'm doing. Nearing the end of the course I remember how to stop by widening the space between my heels and narrowing the space between my toes. Getting the hang of it, Sid and I go through the slope a few more times before we tire ourselves out.
Back at the resort, we're walking through the barren forestry to our main cabin for some much-needed hot chocolate and food. Slowly down behind Sid, I reach to the ground making a quick snowball and lunging it to his back. Snapping his neck around, a mischievous smile plays on his lips as his eyes narrowed playfully.
I don't wait for him to reach for the snow before I fire another one at him and dart behind the leafless trees. I hear his loud slumping in the snow as he chases me. Looking over my shoulder he has two huge snowballs in his gloved hands, vengeance in his wicked brown eyes. Quickly bending down to make another snowball, I hear his huge feet stop dead in the snow and the next thing I feel is a cold, dampness hit my ass.
Spinning around, I glare at him, not bothering to make another snowball but just flicking the snow off the ground towards him. He charges for me and I scream, darting for my escape but he captures me around my stomach lifting me off the ground. Laughing so hard, I have to wipe my eyes with the tears pooling at the brim. Dashing me into the soft, cold snow he falls down beside me rolling onto his back.
We lay on the snow, staring at the crisp blue sky and bare tree branches over our heads. I suddenly think of what it would be like to make love in these woods. Moving my head around, I unabashedly stare at Sid and his beautiful wide smile, wondering if I'll ever kiss him again, or get to actually make full love to him, ever.
I'm only torturing myself by doing that, so I get up brushing the snow off my clothes as best I can, Sid follows suiting. Pulling me around, against his chest, his hands caress my waist, edging me on. "Let me kiss you this one last time, love. The end all be all,"
"I want more than just a kiss, Sid. I'm still very much in love with you and I still have urges and feelings and this undeniable passion for you, but if we both must move on we have to stop feeding into them," I don't wait for a response, walking away back to the cabin, where my fingers will have to satisfy.
We move silently through the cabin heading to separate bathrooms for a quick shower and change of clothes. I base time in the shower, playing music from my phone, staying under the water until it starts to run cold. Humming I step out the shower taking my sweet time to dry up, hoping that by the time I'm done, Sid is too tired to go out to dinner and we can just keep to our corners, far away from each other.
Spraying on some perfume, I exit the bathroom, scuffing my bare feet against the floor as I walk down the hall into the main living room. There the fireplace crackles radiating a warm, soft heat. A plush blue blanket is spread over the floor in front the hearth, with throw pillows on top set up in a comfy pile.
Sid is bent down by the fireplace, warming his palms by the welcoming heat. In a red and black plaid shirt, black jeans and boots and a gray toque, he looks the definition of a woodsman. Looking over his shoulder, he stands up, smiling boyishly-charming as he rubs the back of his neck.
"If you don't mind, I ah-um called in for dinner," him being nervous around me is something very new. From the time of our first date he has exuded brilliant confidence and has always appeared very well put together.
"Not at all, this is nice. Cozy and quaint," easing my steps I walk around the couches.
"Sit, I'll be right back," I don't even get to offer him any help before he trots into the kitchen, wheeling out a small cart filled with three shelves with food.
"Are you expecting anyone else? Like maybe a family of four to join?" I joke, helping him set out the dishes on a small tray table.
I feel like a teenage girl, being alone with a boy for the first time. Especially with how Sid is behaving, nervous and all. We sit and enjoy our meal, but stick to pure conversational topics, complementing the food, talking about skiing, leaving out the part where we were so close to fucking in the woods and what our tasks are for when we land in New York.
Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Sid suddenly inches closer turning into me. "I wanted to apologize, Anuksha, for what I asked of you earlier. It was wrong of me to even think of that. And I truly am very sorry," caught completely off guard by the heartfelt apology I lean over kissing his cheek.
"We were bought caught up in the moment, it's okay...and for the record, I wanted it too,"
"Still, I don't want to be a man like that, not to you," slowly, he leans forward, slanting his head to tenderly kiss my cheek, leaving his lips wet against my skin for a prolonged moment.
Only if you could decide what you want, Sidharth. I understand why he thought it was best for us to break up, and it pains me in the chest knowing what a noble sacrifice he made. He knows I would stand by his side through thick and thin, and that was his motivation behind putting so much distance between us. Our separation was to really detach me from what he saw as too much grief for me to handle.
Maybe he thinks I'm weak or will think I pity him and feel forced to be with him, or he's just too prideful and cannot have anyone seeing him in a fragile state. But the only thing I would consider at a time like this is making sure he has someone to lean on and take care of him, no matter what.