Ethan's car was still parked across the street from the Maison. He stood a few feet away from it, his hands in his pockets, waiting. So he hadn't bailed on me again–kudos for that. But he was still a rat, and I was in no mood for dishing out passes.
"You stupid, selfish, jerk." I poked him, hard, in the chest. "It's just one thing after another with you, isn't it? I trust you with just a little bit of information and you sell me out--"
"Mimi, will you let me explain?" Ethan said, in a low voice. He scanned the perimeter, as if afraid someone important might hear. "I admit, yeah, I was angry – and I'm sorry about that. But I was also worried about you. So I told my Dad about Claudia and Tidus, and how you went with him to New York. But I never said anything about the visions--I swear. And, I dunno, I guess my dad mentioned what I said to Charles. I wanted to tell you that night you went to New York, but you hung up on me before I had the chance."
It was an apology –and a fair one–but I still pushed him back when he attempted to come closer.
"I can look after myself! You don't know how much trouble your 'help' is causing me! Just... back off, ok?"
"If you're in danger how can you expect me to sit back and watch?" He grabbed me, pinning my arms to my sides. "I care about you--I'm not gonna apologize for that."
We stared at one another, both angry for different reasons. But the point was that we were connecting, and that was more than enough reason to call the white light.... I shook Ethan off before it could grow too strong.
"
"If you really care..." I took a deep breath. "You'll make sure nothing else gets back to the Elder. I mean it, Ethan. Not a word."
"Why?" he demanded. "Tell me why you can't trust him."
I looked away and bit my lip, considering. There was so much I hadn't told him... and so much I couldn't. But this one thing I could give him. I owed him that much at least. Realizing I had no choice, I conceded. I described to Ethan not only how the Elder asked my best friend to spy on me, but also my fear that the Elder would use the note I'd found taped to my door to fuel his own private war against the Vampires.
"So do you see now why I can't trust him?" I said. "Charles is looking for any excuse to be rid of the Vampires. You tell him about the visions or the note, and he'll start a war. People will die, Ethan. And I don't know about you, but I don't think I could sleep with all that blood on my hands."
"Right." A muscle twitched in his jaw. "But I'm supposed to live with your blood on my hands? If something happens to you because I didn't say anything when I could've, it'll be my fault."
"As long as you trust me from here on out, nothing bad will happen," I insisted. "We can't have the Garou pitted against the Revenant just because of a silly note and a bunch of stupid visions that--"
"Wait," said Ethan. I looked over my shoulder to find what had caught his attention.
Sofia and Charles were leaving the hotel. They were speaking, and whatever the subject they didn't look particularly pleased to be discussing it. I'd a feeling it had to do with earlier events, but I had no plans on sticking around to find out.
"Let's just get out of here." I headed towards Ethan's car.
"Anywhere in particular?"
"I don't know yet. Just drive."
* * *
After a while of aimless driving and edgy silence, Ethan stopped the car on a shady, quiet street. He shut off the ignition and took out the keys, tossing them back and forth in his hands. He didn't say anything, just waited.
I gazed out the window to the shopping district beyond. The occasional pedestrian trod the sidewalk, but for the most part this corner of Harbor was fairly calm. As usual, there was an ashen tinge to the air, as if the world was dipped in gray. Lots of people thought it depressing but I liked it. It reminded me of old movies and cold, cold rain. But regardless of personal tastes, anyone who lived in Harbor would agree this street belonged on the back of a post card. The ice cream shop, the barber, the boutique, the little café, the fountain in the square—it was all so quaint and friendly-looking you'd never know the town was full of Vampires and Werewolves and bad politics.
I rolled down my window, closed my eyes, and inhaled. Beautiful, deep green trees dotted every corner of the street, and I could smell them enough to imagine their leaves, soft and cold in my hands. Their scent mixed with the salt air that wafted in from miles away at the Piney Bluffs. I'd never been, but I could visualize the blues and greens of the chilly sea water, topped in places with cloud-white foam.
"I like this street," I said. "Sometimes Adelle and I come here to window-shop. Something about this place is always so..."
"Relaxing," Ethan replied. "It's relaxing."
"Yeah." I nodded, still looking at the grey-blue skies of Harbor. For the hundredth time I wondered why I never saw the sun. He was always tucked away, hidden behind the clouds, lonely.
"I screwed up again, I know." Ethan's voice was calm and even, but I could feel his sorrow, his regret. "I try to help you, but I just mess things up... I don't know why." I looked at him, but stayed quiet. "Mimi, why didn't you tell me about the note or how your grandfather is spying on you?"
He was hurt, and I knew my answer would only make it worse. "After what you did to me? To us? I didn't think I could trust you."
"I get it." He looked down at his hands. "But I swear I wasn't trying to hurt you. I did it because I was selfish. All I cared about was securing my future..."
"And making your dad happy, right? This is about him too."
Ethan said nothing this time, but his silence was answer enough. He spent his entire life trying to please a father that had constantly lacked in time and affection. And then I came around and he saw an opportunity to make Mathew proud. Of course I hated that Ethan tricked me, but I understood why he did it. For that I resented Mathew even more. Sometimes having a father was just as bad as not having one at all.
"But I'm not the only one who feels bad about something," said Ethan, catching me by surprise. "You've been feeling guilty for a while now, and I think I know what it's about..."
Eve I thought, trying not to panic. Somehow he knows about Eve...
"This is about you and Tidus." I nodded, relieved. After all, it was partly true. "Something happened between you two in New York, didn't it? Something other than just finding the amulet..."
I decided to throw Ethan a bone. The guilt over his apology, coupled with the burden of Eve's proposition, prompted me to tell the truth. Well, parts of it anyway.
"Yeah, something happened--but not what you think. Tidus asked me to work with the Council. He wants to strengthen Vampire-Wolf relations, and so do I."
"Seriously?" Ethan looked doubtful. "Why would a Romaine work with the Leadership?"
"Because that's what the Council wants."
Ethan chuckled. "I thought Johl Romaine was just flirting with you, but now it makes a little more sense. That guy's a prick, by the way. But I can't say it's a bad idea, so... I'm in. I wanna help."
"You do? Really?"
"Sure. And I'd be happy to tell him--at his party."
"Unbelievable." I rolled my eyes. "There's always a catch with you, isn't there?"
"I'm your Champion, Mimi. I'm your protector--I have a right to be there. Besides, if you take me it'll make a bigger impression than if you don't. Of course Johl doesn't want you to bring anyone from the Leadership--he thinks he's in charge. Bring me, and you'll show him that he's not."
I leaned back in the seat and turned towards the window. "Hypocrite. You're only going so you can feel like you're in charge too."
"Hey," Ethan gently turned my face, forcing me to look at him. "Remember what I told you? Everything I do is only to benefit us both. But do you think Tidus could say the same thing? Or his brother? Do you think they care about you enough to give you a piece of their soul?"
He read me so well--cover to cover, neatly, every single page.
"Don't answer if you know it's just gonna be a lie," he said.
So I kept my mouth shut.
* * *