Late October
"Kayce!" Oakley called out as she finished pulling on her brown sweater. "Are you ready?"
Oakley walked out of the bedroom.
"Kayce?" Oakley called out but ran right into the man she'd been yelling for.
"You trying to wake the dead, baby?" Kayce laughed. "Yes, let's go."
"Don't be cute," Oakley huffed as she walked downstairs.
"Thought you liked me cute?" Kayce smirked behind her back.
"You're on thin ice," Oakley glanced behind her at him as she grabbed her purse. "Kids!"
"They're already in the truck," Kayce crossed his arms.
Oakley blinked.
"Oh," Oakley pulled her coat on.
"I can do some things," Kayce was still smirking.
Oakley rolled her eyes and opened the front door. She looked out and saw that in fact, both twins were in the back of Kayce's truck.
"And yet...when I asked you to put your boots up in the closet for the hundredth time, I still just tripped over them."
"Well," Kayce shrugged as he locked the door. "I can't be perfect."
"Mmm," Oakley walked over and got into the passenger seat.
"Momma, why do we have to go?" Evelyn asked from the back.
"Because we're cheering Tate on," Oakley said. "It's his first roping tournament for the year."
"But why is it in Livingston?" Evelyn asked.
"That's just where it is, baby," Oakley pulled out her mascara and flipped down the mirror above her.
"I hope he wins," Lee smiled.
"Me too," Oakley winked at him through the mirror.
Kayce drove them over to Livingston, parking in the lot of the arena. Oakley got out and held her hand out for Evelyn to take. The two walked in front of Kayce and Lee into the arena.
Oakley led them over to some of the seats and found four together. She sat down, Evelyn standing and leaning over the railing. Oakley reached out and smoothed down Evelyn's hair under the pink hat she wore.
"Dad, I'm hungry," Lee looked at Kayce.
Kayce's eyes went to Oakley. She glanced at her watch.
"We have twenty minutes until his category," She smiled sweetly at Kayce. "I'll take a pretzel."
"Me too!" Evelyn said.
"Come on, son," Kayce rolled his eyes.
"Momma, I wanna be a rodeo girl," Evelyn leaned back and looked at Oakley.
"You do?" Oakley smiled. "You're gonna need to get on your horse more."
"I like riding," Evelyn turned around and faced Oakley.
"You like riding when I go," Oakley said. "But you never go with your Daddy or brothers."
"Because they're boys, Momma," Evelyn sighed and leaned against Oakley's knees. "They don't get it."
"Don't get what?" Oakley found her daughter's words comedic.
"They just ride fast," Evelyn told her. "They don't enjoy the ride."
"I think they do, baby," Oakley tapped Evelyn's hat. "They just enjoy it in a different way than what maybe you and I do."
"That's why I like riding with you," Evelyn said. "You enjoy it with me."
"I do enjoy riding with you," Oakley smiled.
"More than Daddy?" Evelyn's eyes widened.
"Different than your father," Oakley laughed.
"That don't make sense," Evelyn shook her head.
"Doesn't," Oakley corrected. "I guess...it's kind of like dancing. You like dancing with your Daddy more than you like dancing with me, right?"
"Yeah?" Evelyn eyed her.
"Same thing...it's just different with different people," Oakley said. "Doesn't mean we love one over the other, it's just a different kind of love."
"Oh," Evelyn nodded, though Oakley could tell she still wasn't understanding it completely. "But Daddy says I'm his favorite dance partner?"
"He did, did he?" Oakley raised her eyebrow. "Interesting."
A soda was lowered into Oakley's view. She looked up at Kayce who had a lot in his hands. Oakley reached for her drink and placed it in the cupholder of her chair. She pressed Kayce's set down as he sat and helped him divide out the food for the kids first. Once they were leaning against the rails in front of Kayce and Oakley, the adults leaned back in their seats.
"Thank you," Oakley pulled off a piece of her pretzel and took a bite.
"What'd I miss?" Kayce asked sipping his soda.
"Evelyn would like to be a rodeo star," Oakley told him.
"She needs to ride more," Kayce said.
"We talked about it," Oakley nodded. "But she likes riding with me more because we enjoy it the same."
"I don't enjoy it?" Kayce looked at Oakley.
"I told her it's a different kind of enjoyment," Oakley smiled. "Like how she likes dancing with you more than me...we like to do different things with different people but that doesn't mean we don't love them the same."
Kayce took a bite of the fries he got himself. Oakley's eyes looked at the cheese and chili-covered sticks.
"No," Kayce pulled his hand away from being close to Oakley.
"Just one?" Oakley asked.
"You always say one and it turns into half my food," Kayce shook his head. "You wanted a pretzel, that's what you got."
"I didn't know they had fries," Oakley reached over but Kayce swatted her hand away. "Kayce!"
"No, woman," Kayce laughed. "Eat your pretzel and then tell me if you're still hungry."
"You're mean," Oakley mumbled. "Clearly sharing your food with your wife isn't something you love doing."
She took a bite of her pretzel and chewed it. She looked forward until she felt Kayce's arm press against her. When she looked back Kayce had stabbed a few fries with a fork and was holding it out to Oakley. She smiled, leaning over and eating the fries. They all sat there for another few minutes until it was time for Tate to be out. Lloyd and Jimmy had come early with Tate to get him situated. Oakley leaned forward, her hand holding Kayce's knee as she waited for the buzzer to ding.
Once it did, the smaller crowd cheered as Tate raced Lucky out after the calf. He hooked the horns gracefully and leaped from the saddle. Tate secured the legs and threw his hands in the air. Oakley cheered, clapping her hands as Tate walked over to where his hat fell off and picked it up. A few seconds later, in red numbers came up Tate's score. As of right now, he was in first place.
**
"Hey," Oakley wrapped her arms around Tate as they met him behind the arena where they were loading up Lucky. "Congratulations."
"I got fourth," Tate mumbled into Oakley's shoulder.
She pulled back and held his arms.
"But you're my fourth place, which means you're first," She smiled. "And you still had two out of three good runs."
"Need to watch the barrier," Kayce came up and Oakley rolled her eyes.
"I know," Tate nodded.
"But he still did well," Oakley glared at Kayce.
"I didn't say he didn't," Kayce held his hands up.
"Tate!" Evelyn smiled up at him. "You need to watch the barrier."
"See what you cause?" Oakley sighed at Kayce.
"You need to watch the barrier," Tate hoisted Evelyn over his shoulder and the little girl squealed out as Tate spun her around.
"We've got things loaded," Lloyd walked up to the family.
"Thanks," Kayce said. "Not bad this time."
"Not bad," Lloyd nodded. "He needs to not be so tense...it's supposed to be a little fun at least."
"Wonder why he's tense?" Oakley eyed Kayce.
"That's a look I'd run from," Lloyd chuckled. "We'll see y'all back at the ranch."
"Momma, can we ride with them?" Lee asked Oakley.
"Do you have room?" Oakley asked Lloyd.
"Come on, baby Duttons," Lloyd opened the backseat.
Oakley waited for her twins to be placed next to Tate before shutting the door, Lloyd got into the driver's seat and Jimmy in the passenger. They all waived as he drove off. Oakley walked back over to Kayce who had a look on his face.
"What?" Oakley asked.
"Why're you being mean to me?" Kayce asked as they walked back out to the parking lot. "I shared my fries with you even."
"I'm not mean to you," Oakley looked at him.
"Kind of are," Kayce pouted.
Oakley wrapped her arms around one of his as they walked.
"M'sorry, baby," She smiled up at him. "I'm just cranky today."
"Why's that?" Kayce asked. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Oakley thought. "Guess I was just looking for a fight."
"Well, stop looking for one with me," Kayce wrapped his arm around Oakley, pulling her into his side.
"But you're so easy to pester," Oakley joked, pushing against him.
"Uh huh," Kayce got to the passenger seat and opened the door.
Oakley stopped before getting in and turned around. She reached up and held the sides of Kayce's face. Rising on her toes, she kissed him.
"Sorry," Oakley whispered, kissing him again.
Kayce's hands held her waist as he kissed her back. Oakley wrapped one of her arms around Kayce's shoulders and pulled him closer. She felt her back press against the truck as Kayce deepened the kiss. His hands roamed around her back and sides. When they broke for some air, Oakley was breathing heavily as she leaned back on her heels and looked up at Kayce.
"Can I please make love to you tonight?" Kayce whispered out.
"You have to ask?" Oakley let out a breathless laugh as she smiled.
"Just been a while," Kayce mumbled, pulling Oakley by her hips closer to him.
She held onto his arms.
"I know..." Oakley sighed. "M'sorry, Kayce."
"Sorry, didn't mean to pout," Kayce reached over and pushed the door open more for Oakley to get in.
She pulled his face down for one more kiss and then got into her seat. Kayce shut her door and walked around to the driver's side. As he got in his phone went off. They both looked at the screen and saw one of Kayce's deputy's names appear. Oakley frowned, knowing this only meant one thing...there was a problem.
"Yeah?" Kayce asked, taking the call on his phone and cutting it from the vehicle.
He pulled the truck out of its spot and maneuvered around the parking lot.
"I'm with Oaks," Kayce sighed.
Oakley felt her shoulders slump more as Kayce pulled out onto the road.
"Let me drop her off first," Kayce said.
"You don't have to," Oakley looked at Kayce.
He eyed her for a second.
"I can...stay in the truck," Oakley offered.
"You're out on Green Trail Road?" Kayce asked. "Alright...give us ten minutes."
Kayce hung up the phone.
"Problem?" Oakley asked him.
"Not yet," Kayce said as he turned left instead of right. "Got a call out that some kid had a gun pointed at a neighbor who he thinks is killing his goats."
"A kid?" Oakley asked.
"Teenager," Kayce said as he rubbed his eyes.
"Your guys are there?" Oakley sighed.
"I offered to drop you off," Kayce looked ahead.
"No, I meant that it's not just you going out to some kid with a gun," Oakley stared at Kayce.
"Teenager...and yeah, they're there," Kayce nodded.
They drove for a little while until Kayce pulled up to a house. There were two deputy trucks out front, making it easy to know they were in the right spot. Kayce parked and looked at Oakley.
"I'm staying," Oakley held up her hands. "But please be careful."
"Be back in a minute," Kayce got out and walked in front of the truck.
Oakley watched him put his gun in the back of his jeans before pulling his coat over it. Her eyes followed Kayce until he walked around the house and was out of sight. She sighed deeply, sitting in the running truck.
Pulling her phone out, Oakley texted Tate to let him know they would be late coming home and to get the twins into bed. Oakley looked back up but didn't see anyone. Her knee started to bounce up and down.
"Come on, Kayce..." Oakley whispered as her eyes looked around her.
It was dark and the only light out front was from the old porch light connected to the house. Kayce's truck had its headlights on, but all Oakley could see was the property off to the right. She shifted in her seat.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Oakley jumped in her seat at the sound of three gunshots going off. She reached for the door but paused. She made a promise. Her eyes zeroed in on where Kayce had walked behind the house. Oakley tightened her fingers on the door handle and tried to breathe.
"Kayce..." Oakley hissed out.
A second later, Kayce and Matthew came running around the house. Oakley's shoulders dropped back as she saw Kayce was unharmed. Matthew went to his truck and opened the door while Kayce jogged over to his, opening the back door.
"What happened?" Oakley asked him. "Are you okay?"
"Stay in the truck," Kayce said, pulling a bag up onto the seat and unzipping it.
She watched him take a radio out and turn it on. Oakley looked forward again and saw Matthew was on his radio. Beeping behind her made Oakley look back at Kayce.
"This is Commissioner Dutton," Kayce said into the radio. "I have an officer down and multiple GSWs in a civilian...need a medivac to 1308 Green Trail Road...badge number 10-2-3-2-8..."
"Kayce?" Oakley asked.
Kayce pulled back and shut the backdoor. Oakley breathed out heavily as she saw him walk over to Matthew. The two of them jogged back around the house.
Oakley leaned back in her seat, her heart racing. She didn't see anything for another ten minutes until she heard the sound of a helicopter. Looking out her side window, Oakley saw the chopper landing in the field next to the house.
She watched as a medical team got out of the chopper and made their way behind the house. Oakley leaned against the dashboard, wishing desperately she could see something. A few minutes later, half the team was back, pushing a stretcher with what looked to be like Eric, another one of Kayce's deputies, toward the helicopter.
"Fuck," Oakley opened her door, having enough.
She slowly walked over to the side of the house, peering around it. She could see Kayce and Matthew standing with another man. There were two of the medical team leaning down next to something covered in a white sheet. Oakley stepped out and then could tell it was a body. What she couldn't see was a teenager like Kayce said was part of this...which meant that must be who was under that sheet.
Oakley got sick to her stomach as she took a few more steps over. She stopped though when Matthew looked up at her. He mouthed something and Kayce turned around, looking over his shoulder. Oakley watched him say something to Matthew before he turned and walked over to her.
"I know you said-"
"Wait in the truck," Kayce snapped.
"Are you okay?" Oakley asked.
"No, I'm not fucking okay," Kayce sighed. "But I really didn't want you seeing this."
"I'm sorry," Oakley said.
Kayce sighed. Oakley looked over to the man she didn't know.
"Is that his father?" She asked softly.
"No, the neighbor he had the gun pointed at," Kayce said. "Look, we've got to file a report and will be here awhile....take my truck back home and I'll get Matthew to drop me off."
"I can wait for you," Oakley looked at Kayce.
"I don't want you here, baby," Kayce looked at Oakley. "I should have dropped you off in the first place."
"I'm not causing a problem, Kayce," Oakley cleared her throat. "I can wait for you...I don't want you to be alone."
"I'm not alone," Kayce said. "But there's nothing for you to do now...so please, go get in the truck and go home."
His eyes were pleading with her. Oakley slowly nodded, seeming to make Kayce happy as he exhaled. He went to turn but Oakley caught his hand. Kayce looked back at her.
"I'm sorry," Oakley said.
"You didn't do anything-"
"No, I'm sorry about what's happened," Oakley said clearly. "I'll be at home when you get there."
Kayce blinked back at her for a moment. His hand squeezed hers before he dropped it and walked back over to the others. Oakley turned around and headed back to the truck.
**
It was almost two when Oakley heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She sat up in bed when Kayce pushed open their bedroom door and walked inside. His tired eyes found hers as he shut the door behind him. Oakley got out of bed and hurried up to Kayce, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him close. Kayce loosely held her against him. She could feel his heart beating fast still.
"I'm so sorry," Oakley mumbled into Kayce's shoulder.
"You didn't do anything," Kayce told her.
"I'm sorry you went through that," Oakley clarified. "That you go through that."
"Part of the job, you know this," Kayce sighed.
Oakley pulled back. Kayce looked down at her.
"He was seventeen," Kayce said.
Oakley pressed her lips into a thin line. She pushed hard, the feelings about that age down into her stomach. Her eyes looked at the buttons of Kayce's shirt, trying to focus on something else. Kayce leaned forward, his lips pressing against her forehead briefly.
"Come to bed," Oakley said as he pulled away.
"I can't sleep right now," Kayce shook his head. "Go to bed, baby."
He pulled away from her and started to walk to the door. Oakley frowned, glancing back at the bed before following Kayce. He was surprised when he went to shut the door behind him and she was standing there.
"What do you need?" She asked. "A drink?"
"Uh...no," Kayce cleared his throat.
"Then...where are you going?" Oakley asked.
"I was uh..." Kayce glanced down the hallway. "I was honestly gonna go wake Tate up. He'll hate me but..."
Oakley couldn't stop her eyes watering at that. Kayce shrugged loosely and looked back at her. She nodded her head and leaned against the doorframe.
"He won't hate you," She whispered. "I'll wait for you."
Kayce shook his head and at first, Oakley thought he didn't want her to wait. Her eyes grew more concerned as Kayce ran his fingers through his hair.
Kayce sighed, reaching his hand out to Oakley. She took it and let Kayce lead her down the hallway. They got to Tate's room and Kayce opened the door. Oakley waited for him to walk in but he didn't. Kayce just stood there, looking over at Tate who was sleeping.
Oakley reached up and rubbed Kayce's back lovingly. She watched his eyes grow watery, a cross between longing and being in pain. Biting her lip to keep her own tears from falling, Oakley leaned her forehead against Kayce's shoulder. They stood there for a few moments.
Another minute or two later Kayce stepped back, making Oakley look up. Kayce shut Tate's door and sighed out loud. Oakley watched as he turned and looked at her.
"I love you," Oakley whispered. "Baby, I'm so sorry."
Kayce stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Oakley. He drew her into his chest and leaned his cheek on her head. The two of them stood there in the hallway, their children's doors around them. Oakley could feel the stress and sadness coming off of Kayce as she held him tight.
**
When Oakley woke up the next morning she was alone in the bed. There was no sound coming from the bathroom either, meaning Kayce was either downstairs or gone to work already. She sighed, getting up and rubbing her face.
She stood up and walked over to the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, Oakley saw dark circles under her eyes. Sighing, she got ready for the day.
Oakley found the twins eating breakfast with John in the dining room.
"Morning," John looked up as Oakley walked in.
"Good morning," Oakley said softly as she kissed her babies' heads. "Where are my other two?"
"Kayce's at the office already," John sighed. "Tate's down at the barn."
"Early morning I see," Oakley picked up a mug and walked into the kitchen.
As she poured herself some coffee she heard John walk in. Oakley turned around and looked at him, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Rough night?" John asked.
"Part of the job," Oakley said. "I know you remember that well."
"Never means it's easier," John sighed.
"I worry so much about him," Oakley felt herself admit.
"I know you do," John nodded. "And...if it's any help, having you do that means a whole lot."
"Having me worry?" Oakley asked.
"Worry is love in a different form," John cleared his throat. "And there's no one on this planet that loves my son more than you."
"There's two twins in there who give me a good rub for my money," Oakley nodded her chin behind John.
"You know it's different, Oakley," John chuckled.
"I do," Oakley held her mug with both hands. " I just don't know what I'd do without him, John. I couldn't breathe...I couldn't...and our kids. There's just so much at stake now but the dangers are the same."
"As long as Kayce has you to come home to, then his drive will take on whatever danger is out there," John said.
"Drive doesn't stop bullets," Oakley frowned. "It doesn't make medics come faster."
John blinked back at her.
"I know it's what we do," Oakley stepped away from where she'd been leaning on the counter. "But last night hit a little too close to home for all of us."
"Kayce wouldn't tell me," John said.
"A seventeen-year-old died," Oakley's heart ached as she said the words. "It was justified and probably saved a few more lives...but that doesn't mean it needed to happen."
John didn't say anything but nodded his head.
"How did you do it for so long without Evelyn?" Oakley asked.
John gave her a curious look.
"Your Evelyn," Oakley clarified.
"I hid away in it," John said. "And look at what it cost me? Look at my family."
Oakley wanted to argue that they were doing okay right now as a family but she knew what John meant. There had been a lot of healing in the last decade with this family and it had been a rollercoaster of a ride. And most, if not all, could be pointed back to John in some capacity.
"I worry Tate will follow in Kayce's footsteps," Oakley said. "And the thought of something happening to Kayce kills me...but Tate? My Tate? I don't think I could do it, John. I don't think I have the strength."
John nodded and walked over to the sink, placing his mug in it and facing Oakley.
"You're stronger than anyone I know, Oakley," John smiled. "If any of us can, it's you."
He walked out of the kitchen and back to the twins. Oakley stood there for a moment, collecting herself before she joined them.
**
Oakley looked up from the desk in the office as Kayce walked in.
"Was looking for you," Kayce mumbled.
"Sorry," Oakley pushed back in her chair. "Was looking over some things and time must have got away from me."
She stood up and met Kayce in the middle of the room. He looked tired but she was sure he didn't get hardly any sleep last night before he was off again this morning.
"Missed you today," Oakley said. "Sundays are kind of our lazy days."
"Sorry," Kayce said.
"It's okay," Oakley rubbed his arm. "Just...worrying about you."
"I know you do," Kayce trailed off.
Oakley took a deep breath and stepped closer to Kayce. He looked down at her in question.
"How can I help you?" Oakley asked softly.
He reached up and cupped her cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth against her skin.
"I don't know, baby," Kayce said.
Oakley nodded in understanding.
"You wanna go spend some time with the kids?" She asked. "I could work another hour or so and give you that time?"
"Not sure I'd be fun for the kids right now," Kayce was honest.
"Alright..." Oakley thought for a moment. "You wanna go for a ride?"
Kayce glanced out the window and Oakley was hopeful.
"It'll be dark soon," Kayce said. "But it's a nice thought."
"Okay...we're getting somewhere," Oakley reached back and grabbed her phone before leaving her fingers through Kayce's. "Come on cowboy."
"Where're we going?" Kayce asked as Oakley led him downstairs and through the back door.
They started to walk down to the barn. It was cooler, and Oakley could see the wranglers finishing up for the day. She stopped at the front of the barn, smiling at Colby and Teeter as they walked by. Oakley faced Kayce.
"Up we go," Oakley smiled.
Ten minutes later, Kayce was lying on a barrel of hay up in the lofts of the barn. Oakley was sitting next to him, looking down. He had his eyes closed and for once there weren't lines on his face. It was warmer up in the lofts, the smell of the barn surrounding them. Oakley took a deep breath.
"Days..." Kayce sighed, his eyes still closed.
Oakley leaned down closer to him.
"Weeks like this make you wanna quit and be a cowboy," Kayce mumbled.
Oakley leaned down and kissed him softly.
"I know, baby," Oakley said, kissing him again. "But you can't quit."
"Why's that?" Kayce asked.
Oakley shifted so she was lying down next to him, her head against his chest. She wrapped her arm across his chest and snuggled into him. Kayce held her against his side.
"Because we all need you too much," Oakley mumbled.