Confidently lost- Sabrina Claudio
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Zaliah pov.
I've been working out like a fucking Maniac. I've been in the gun range more than I have been in my bed. I've thrown knives pretty much in my free time. Its been a week and a half since I've been home and so far its been so fucking great.
Just going through withdrawals, and my mom constantly worrying if I'm going to end it all. Throughout all of this NIco has been one hell of a workout partner. I feel better about myself knowing I'm strong now.
Getting ready before dad called to meet me.Taking in my appearance I quickly approved dressed in a black crop top and a matching black skirt that came down to the middle of my thigh. I styled it with a pair of ripped stockings. Topping my look off with a leather jacket and a pair of matching sneakers. My hair was in a curly ponytail as I had my edges laid nicely with a few baby hairs out.
Going down to dad office I ran into Raven and Nico. "You're just a fucking snitch! You're not perfect. In fact I can see your large fucking pores"
Raven gasped as she threw an orange at Nico. He ducked it and I caught it before it hit me. "Let's not harm the fruit" I tossed it back in the fruit basket as I squeezed past them going to dad's office. Opening the door I saw him sitting on the edge of his desk as he stared at the family portrait.
"Hey old man" I slumped down on the small couch.
"Zaliah. How's your progress?"
"Like I never left." Most of it became muscle memory after doing it your whole life. This was honestly just a reminder.
"The Spanish are hosting a ball the upcoming monday" He turned around towards me. "Marcelo's going to be there"
A smile raised on my lips "Right. Should I seduce him or slip something into his drink?"
"Liah. I don't want you seducing him. I've taught you better tactics so you would never have to use your body" His words pained me to hear because I do use my body. A part of me knew that if dad knew all I've done he would probably disown me.
"Okay. I got it handled. I need his file" I've been waiting for father to give it to me once he finished preparing the information.
A red file fell into my lap. "Aww my favorite color, how sweet" My tone was mocking as I opened it. No picture making me frown.
"Formulate your plan. Have it ready by saturday"
"Okay. Well since I'm here. Can I get my car keys and my phone back?" He reached behind his desk before handing me my red car keys, and my phone.
"Be careful," He warned.
"Awww you're worried now? Well I'll be okay." I got up and left his office. Going up stairs to my room, I closed the door as I opened the file.
Alright Marcelo Lamdardi.
Marcelo Antonio Lombardi.
Son of Enzo Lombardi and Gabriella Lombardi.
Siblings- unknown.
Right hand man- Lorenzo Venchi.
Underboss- Carlos Venchi.
Marcelo Lombardi owns The Lombardi corporation that Enzo Lombardi runs when he can. He also owns four night clubs, and a casino yacht.
His warehouses are stationed in Italy where he has protection and loyalty and he has some more that are stationed around the state.
His alliances- Russians, Americans-
A knock on my door interrupted me from finishing the file. My door creeped open showing mom. I closed the file, setting it under my pillow.
She doesn't need to know what I'm doing. Or else she'll find out that dad needed me out and then find out the spa was bullshit.
"Hey baby, whatcha up to?" She asked me to come in and sit at the edge of my bed.
"Nothing much. What's up?"
"So there's the ball coming up. And me and Raven are about to go shopping for dresses. I really want you to go." One thing I hated more than anything was going out with Raven mom. It was like I was third wheeling, but I can see the desperation on her face.
"Um- I don't know... I usually just go with Nico.." which is true. I do everything with Nico mostly. I mean he is like my best friend. It's mostly the fact that we are looked at as troubled kids. Our short tempers and impulsive actions made Raven look like the golden princess. And eventually she started playing the part.
We didn't blame her or even dislike... well until she made it clear she thought she was better than us.
"Oh come on! Some girl time. We could even go get lunch." Her adding another event is only making this worse. I can't exactly tell my mom that I don't want to hang out with them.
"Okay.. when are we leaving?" I gave in wanting to make my mom happy. Her smile brightened.
"Right now!" She chipped standing up as she happily left my room.
This is going to be my own personal hell.
*
"Do I look fat in this?" Raven ran her hand down a pink mermaid sequin dress. It hugged her curves perfectly.
"Honey, you're not fat. You look amazing." Raven smiled as she stared at herself in her mirror. Looking around the dress shop that my dad paid them to close so it could just be us.
Unnecessary.
I spotted security staring around the place like someone's going to sneak attack us at any moment. I mean I was ready for that case as I had my gun in the waistband of my skirt, hidden by my jacket.
"What do you think of the dress Zaliah?" Raven stared at me through the mirror as she flipped her straightened hair to her shoulder.
Pursing my lips stopping myself from being an asshole "You're going to light up the room." With all that sequence she's definitely lighting up the room. She raised an eyebrow not taking it as a compliment.
"Liah go try on some dresses" mom ushered me to the dressing room. Walking around the store I found a perfect black dress in my size.
Going into a dressing room I set my gun on the bench within reach as I took my clothes off slipping on the dress. It felt snug around my hips. Stepping out I looked in the mirror and holy hell.
The dress was black silk as it had a V cut and the straps met around my neck leaving a dip in my back. There was a high slit coming up to my upper thigh.
"Oh my gosh! You look so beautiful, Zaliah." Mom smiled as she watched me in the mirror.
Turning around to see how my ass looked in it. I definitely gained weight by the way the curves in my hips widened and my ass rounded out more. My eyes traveled up to my stomach as it stuck out slightly.
"Oh! That pearl necklace you have will go so cute with this!"
"It's a pretty dress! Can I try it on?" Raven asked mom. Why is she asking mom to try on the dress I'm wearing?
Mom glanced at me with pleading eyes. She's trying to make both of us happy. Raven only wants the dress because it's hot on me.
"No, I like it." I said as I went towards the dressing room.
"That's not fair!" She started throwing a fit but I didn't stick around long enough to hear it. This is why I drove myself. I can't stand doing this with them.
Changing back into my clothes I walked out with the dress draped over my arm. Mom looked at me with a frown. "You've upsetted your sister. Now she don't even want to go!" Mom threw her hands up.
"How the fuck is that my fault? She's being a spoiled bitch."
"Watch your fucking language Zaliah! Apologize to her." She motioned to Raven as she wiped her face. Raven looked up looking at me for an apology.
"I'm sorry that you're a spoiled bitch who thinks she can get anything she wants with just a couple of tears." I smiled sweetly at her before walking past them and throwing my dress on the counter.
I watched as the cashier's hands practically shook as he scanned my dress before putting it in black bag and handing it to me.
Then I was out. There's no way I could stick around with them in my ear like that. Driving around helped bring peace to me as I turned up my radio.
What did I do?
What did I do to become so fucking unlovable. To become a bad person in every situation.
Pulled off into the parking lot of a gas station, I placed my car in park as I went inside.
"Hey Zaliah!" Jeffery said from behind the counter "Where the hell have you been girl?"
"In the loony bin." I smiled at him as I leaned against the counter. Jeffery rolled his eyes. "Your usual?"
"Mhm and a pack of Marlboro" I pointed to the red and white box.
Walking over to the drinks I stared at my different options. Grabbing a spiked lemonade I placed it on the counter.
Jeffery eyebrows went up. "Damn girl, cigarettes, liquor and weed?" He took out a zip of weed that I usually come in here for as he placed it all in the bag.
"Jeffery, if I want to be judged I'll go see a shrink. Now what's my total?"
No way I'm using my credit card so my dad could see that I've been purchasing the exact things he's told me to stay away from.
"Damn girl, fifty- five" I dug out three twenty's out of my purse.
"Just keep the change." I took the bag as I left the gas station. Noticing security all around my car.
"What the fuck Zaliah!! We couldn't find you." Dad walked towards me with a gun in his hand as he put it away putting it in his waistband.
He looked worried as he walked up to me. He hesitated before he embraced me in a hug and shocked the shit out of me. "You never go anywhere without security. I know you can take care of yourself but you're still a target." He dropped his hands from around me.
Clearing my throat, raising the bag in my hand. "I was just um. Getting some things."
He frowned and looked over at the bag. "You promised me you wouldn't run off. Now go home and get ready for dinner." He walked away.
I swallowed the sob that wanted to slip my lips as I walked to my car. Going home was the last thing on my mind but with six fucking cars following me I kinda had no choice.
Stopping at a red light as I opened the box of cigarettes, taking one out and lighting it.
I really need to kick this habit. I need to kick all of my habits.
If I'm being honest.. I feel better when I have some kind of substance in me. When my mind isn't thinking straight. I feel better when I feel nothing. Maybe that's why I didn't mind my time at Mercy... I can barely remember most of what happened because of the medications they had us on.
What I do remember is never feeling unloved around them. I felt like they saw me, but the version they loved wasn't real.
Lola wasn't real.
*
Deciding to skip dinner I went to my desk and took out my computer and the file my dad gave me. Time to start orchestrating a plan.
Fuck what my dad said my body can get me a long way. It always has. So seducing him seems simple.
Searching up his name on the internet a picture didn't come up. Even when I click on his company. Just as I was about to look at press pictures my door swung open.
"You missed dinner." Nico came into my room with a plate. "Mom made Fleischkuechle with roasted potatoes." He sat at a plate by my computer as I closed my computer.
"Thanks" I stared at the food as I took a bite of the meat pie.
"I heard about what happened earlier. Raven won't stop talking about it." He groaned, flopping on my bed.
"Of course she won't." I swallowed my food.
"What are you working on?" He asked as he stared at the red file.
"Just some work dad passed down to me." I opened a random book slapping the file inside. Nico's eyes wandered to the bag sitting on my bed. He peeked inside.
"Seriously, you weren't gonna share?" He held the zip up.
"You're like a child." I joked as he threw a pillow at me.
"Haven't stopped you before" is not my proudest moment but I've taught him how to roll. Which I regretted when he kept failing then paid me to preroll for him.
Those were the years.
"Alright. Just one." I got up as I closed my door and opened the window next to my bed for circulation.
He got off of my bed grabbing a book as he started curing the weed.
While he did that I finished up my food. Honestly I wasn't the biggest fan of German food. Yes I know it's in my roots and I grew up with it yes but I can't get behind it.
What I can get behind is pasta but growing up my parents always frowned upon it. They didn't let me eat anything Italian food related. I couldn't even eat pizza. Even though pizza is considered American. They said no.
"Alright." He sealed the blunt. "Aw I'm so proud you finally did it yourself." I said sarcastically as I grabbed my lighter from my pocket.
As a constant smoker I bring my lighter everywhere with me. Especially if I have to set someone on fire.
It's my lucky favorite lighter because the flames are pink and it's bedazzled.
I sat in my white furry Rollie chair as he sat on my bed. We passed the blunt around as we stayed silent.
This is single handedly why nico is my favorite person in this family. He doesn't judge. I could tell him about that night and he would judge me or make me feel bad.
But I won't. Because I know it'll hurt him to know that something like that happened to me.
"What's your plans for the future kid?" I asked as he turned to look at me. He raised an eyebrow.
"Let's see if I live to see the future first."