Living with your brother and his family had its ups and downs. You loved Alexander and Eliza, along with all of their children but it did mean you were under constant supervision from one of them. You were grateful for everything Alexander had done, he had brought you into the country and gave you a life that so many people dreamed of, but it could never be the life you wanted.
There were so many expectations for a woman of status in New York, and that meant you had to follow more social rules than you could truly understand. Alexander himself, didn't fully agree with what there was for you, but he didn't want you to be shunned by society, so you had to behave and be who everyone thought you should be. You tried your best but sometimes you couldn't help what happened.
Alexander did his best to keep you away from his friends, not wanting you involved with rowdy men or any discussions for war, but you didn't see why you couldn't be part of it just because you were a woman. Through the regular meetings and following your brother to meet his friends, you had gotten to know John Laurens, and it didn't take long before you were meeting up with him without the others.
Of course, you never told Alexander about your meetings. Today he believed you were going for tea with a friend across town, but you were actually going to the corner of the park that had become your regular spot to see John.
Normally you could see his happiness and excitement when you first laid eyes on one another, but this time he looked solemn.
"What's wrong?" You questioned.
"We shouldn't be doing this anymore," he stated.
It had been months since you started sneaking around together. You stole as many moments as you could together and exchanged letters when you were unable to meet in person. It had been unspoken, but you were both aware it couldn't go on forever, but you had assumed things would go well, not end in flames.
"What do you mean?"
"I do not mean to hurt you, Y/N," he said. "But I cannot keep hiding that I love you but if I told the world... no one would accept it... least of all Alexander."
You paused for a moment. "I don't care who accepts us, John. I do not care what my brother thinks, I only care what you think. Do you not love me?"
John took your hands in yours, pain clear across his face. He took a second, clasping your hands in his before he could say more.
"I love you more than words could say. I wish I could marry you and let the whole of New York know my heart is yours, but I do not want people to see you negatively."
"Let them see! It's not like we're doing anything wrong," you frowned.
"You are my best friend's sister. You wouldn't care what he thought if he knew we had been seeing each other?"
You shook your head. "Alexander will not be happy if you asked for my hand but he loves us both and he would have to accept our union, or lose us both. I love my brother, John, but I love you too. I hope you are both part of my future, but if he cannot value my happiness, then so be it."
John raised your hand to your lips. "If you are sure, then we shall tell your brother."
"I've never been more sure of anything at all."
~*~
Written by Charlotte.