Theodore Hault
"What are you doing?" I hissed at Carmen finally having managed to pull him away from the seemingly flawed peace going around.
"Having fun? Heard of it? It's that thing where you let go and do what you want, do what feels good? Remember that?" He shot back, pulling his arm from my grip.
"They're wolves."
"Yeah, so am I, or have you forgotten that little fact?" I was stunned into silence, searching my friend who had suffered mercilessly under the same man as I did.
"That's not- I did me-"
"But you did." Carmen's gaze was unwavering as I pursed my lips and he sighed. "Theo-" I glared, "Theodore, life is too short to dwell forever on the bad." He said still searching my eye. "I know you're hurt, this was a man you learned to love, a man who promised you the world, nobody expects you to be ready to open your heart up, ever, but you can't stand in your own way forever." Carmen made dancing movements. "Nobody is saying you have to stay, no-one will force you to leave either...so have fun while you can, wherever you can, you never know if it'll be your last."
****
I walked away because how dare he stutter and stumble back like a baby seal? How dare he be wide eyed and searching when he had a mate? Just, how dare he?
I huffed as I washed dishes, glaring out the window and muttering about wolves and their wandering eyes. Winston didn't look, not in the way my statement suggested, but he hesitated and he held onto a hand that wasn't mine for a minute too long, just- ugh.
"Someone's in their feelings." I paused and pouted, my mother weakly turned the counter.
"You're not supposed to be up."
"Oh, hush, these old bones need to move in order to heal." I frowned at her and shook my head knowing there wasn't anyone about to stop her. She began to dry the dishes I washed. "Now, whose got you in your feelings."
"I'm not in my feelings."
"I bet it's the tall baldy." She giggled and I stared at her wide eyed and looking around wondering if someone heard.
"Someone will hear you."
"So what? I'm old, I'm probably talking nonsense to anyone who catches me talk."
"Wrong!" A small voice said and we both looked down as Claude giggled and made a motion to wanting to be carried. My mother obliged him, groaning sweetly in the process.
"My my, what a big boy we got here."
"I grow big and strong like my papa!" He declared and we chuckled. My mother tapping his nose.
"And nosey too." He held his hand to his mouth and laughed while we shook our heads and tisked. "Adorable."
"Yes!" He clapped and we laughed.
My Mom began to pat my back which Claude began to mimic. "Whatever it is that's going on... I know you'll figure it out and do the best thing."
"But what if the best thing isn't what I want to do?"
"Honey, at the end of the day, you gotta do what makes you happy, regardless of how scary and tricky it might be. Nobody but you has to understand why you're doing it or if you're going to. If you're following your heart, whose to stop you really? If not yourself." She adjusted Claude on her hip and he offered her a sweet from his pocket.
"Thanks, ma. That means a lot."
"You're doing great, kid."
I smiled then as I continued washing the dishes. Do what makes me happy? What did that even look like? I've done what makes me happy, I followed my heart and all it did was break me, tear me to shreds, how could I do that again?
"Are we really about to let the mistakes of one mere wolf dictate the rest of our lives? I don't know about you but I'm done letting Jeffery, or Carl, or hell, Kingsley, of all people stand in my way, no sir, cannot be me ever again." Carmen said before howling fiercely into the night sky.
"I wish I were as brave." I mumbled into my arms, unable to stand.
"Honey, you got away..." Carmen knelt before me, taking my hand. "You did what we all couldn't and you got away." He rubbed his thumb on my palm. "You even went the extra mile and got the rest of us... If that wasn't bravery, I don't know what it is."
I snorted. "it was stupidity, I wasn't even ready."
"Yet you came back for me, for all of us. You gotta be a little brave to be stupid and a little stupid to be brave." Then from the bushes came Mitch to collect his mate who'd been gone long enough. "Join the stupidity, my friend, it's great."
I shook my head then and snorted. Could I really? What was to stop my decision from ruining more of my life? What was to stop it from going right either?
I bit my lip and finished the dishes, packing them away and forcing my heart to calm the hell down.
Right after I found myself walking around the packhouse, merely minding my business while for the first real time getting a good look at it. Even as I walked the halls, kids, preteens and teens would be laughing and running around with one another, I'd almost crashed into some of them and recieved a loud and retreating apology and beaming smiles. It was nothing like Creek Mountain Pack. The contrast was too drastic.
This place for one, not only felt like home, it looked like one too. There were pictures of almost everyone here in so many group photos that made you want to stick around. In as much as I was a stranger, nobody looked at or treated me like an outsider.
Was it really okay to want to stay?
As I walked I found myself all the way at the top floor which I had never really been to. It was like a seperate part of the house and yet flowed so effortlessly that it took opening one of the doors to realise it wasn't exactly. Like the door I opened, was an entrance, there were slippers strewn on the ground and as I ventured further, I saw a kitchenette, living room with a life sized portrait of non other than Elijah and his family.
I paused and wrapped my arms around myself as I studied his beaming smile as he held onto his two boys and Donovan held onto them all. They looked so very...happy.
I want that...
"I see trespassing is another quality we should add to your talents." I jumped then, I touched my chest as my heart hammered at the sight of Donovan who smirked while changing into slippers. The man raised a brow at me as he stuck his hands into his pocket.
I found myself looking behind him hoping Elijah was behind him being that I wasn't used to interacting with his mate.
"I wasn't - it's not-" he held his hand up and shook his head with a chuckle only to come stand beside me and look at the portrait he probably gets to look at every day.
"It's fine, it's not locked for a reason." I blinked and flushed still feeling caught with my hand in a cookie jar. "I see he changed it again." He chuckled and admired the portrait, the look of love and adoration was so tangible that a spike of jealousy actually shoy through me.
"Again?"
Donovan raised a brow at me and then motioned with a nod of his head and I found myself following as he opened a door I hadn't noticed. Inside was a storage unit with hundreds of enlarged photo and hand drawn portraits all of Elijah and ha family. I found myself gapping before a chuckle left me.
"Oh my." As I looked at them all, I couldn't fathom how they all even fit.
"He created an extra room just for them, honestly, what are phones for?" He was teasing, his tone was anything but irritated but mostly amused.
"He's got a lot of love for you." I murmured mostly to myself as some of the images were sometimes just Donovan with the kids or every individual and I had yet to find one of just Elijah. "It's adorable."
"He is." I chuckled then and soon enough Donovan was telling me about each image I touched, explaining what had happened that day and going as far as acting like it was a chore for Elijah to drag him around looking for the perfect frames.
The days passed by quickly, too quick in fact. Each day felt new and beautiful in their own way. I spent most of them with my parents, just catching up with them and hoping they recovered just a bit faster. Other days I'd find myself playing outside with the children, something I didn't think I'd ever get to do again. More and more, I'd find it hard to believe I wasn't a kid again, there was something about this pack that made one feel incredibly youthful and full of life.
I'd catch Winston randomly, I don't know why I was still embarassed infront of him. Since shoving a plate in his plate and storming off, I haven't known what I was supposed to say to him. Once the house was all finished up, he seemed to still be working on a project of his own since we'd all watch him working on random pieces and then carrying them off into the woods.
It was hot and watching the other wolves watch him shirtless rubbed me some other way.
"You look jealous."
"I'm not!" I yelled catching the attention of everyone within earshot and probably beyond. My face felt warm as I looked around and turned to glare at Elijah who held up his hands almost in surrender.
"Okay, I'm seeing things."
"You bet, old man." I snorted and he pushed my shoulder with a chuckle while Christian seemed determined to try and climb him.
"You should just go talk to him."
"And say what exactly?"
"You can start with 'thank you'." I pouted at Elijah who laughed as Christian managed to get onto his shoulders. I sighed watching them before staring down at my hands.
"I feel like I've been mean till then."
"The man shifted to save you, something he hasn't done in a very long time. I was actually sure he'd never get to again." Elijah admitted softly bringing a laughing Christian down into his lap. "He has just as much to be thankful to you about. I'm sure he'd love to have even a short conversation with you." Now he was smirking at me.
"This is hard."
"He's your mate!" Elijah huffed and rolled his eyes. "It's only hard in your head. Start using your heart and just go with it, yeah?" He stood then, throwing an elated Christian over his shoulder. "What exactly do you have to lose?"
What did I have to lose? That was a good question. I watched Winston disappear again into the woods, shirtless and sexy that it had me pinching my thighs. I had my sanity that was sure.
Winston Mill was a patient man, I would give him that. This purely based on watching most other people who claim to be mates not even wait a second to be all over each other. The man had not once pushed me, nor probed me in any direction, almost as if it were all up to me, like somehow he was waiting for me to be ready, to believe it and want it.
Why did this feel so difficult? My stomach felt like it was in knots. It took the hand of a small child pulling on my fingers to kick me out of my own head. I blinked down to see two identical faces staring up at me curiously.
"Play?" They tilted their heads and it was the most adorable sight that I could barely hold myself together. I could not for the life of me keep myself from the sounds of adoration at the two sweet looking angels.
****
It had probably been another week before I worked up the courage to talk to him and I had come to a conclusion.
I would no longer be a baby about this.
I glared at absolutely nothing, the fire kindling inside of me slowly as I pushed through the trees and assumed the path Winston had been taking for the past week or so. When I finally found the cabin he had shown me when I first got here I paused as I stared at his kneeling back. He had headsets in as he planted and I was awestruck.
The place looked new, from the outside along I got the feeling of home, a real warm and loving home and my eyes burned as I stood frozen on the stone pathway taking in the greenery and the new flowers he had put in. It was like seeing a dream come alive as I recognised the sequence of the flowers he planted that I had mentioned the day he'd asked me what I'd do with this place if I could have it.
When he stood, dusting his hands, he jumped once he turned and my eyes widened realising he had thought himself alone.
"Moon goddess, have mercy." He huffed into a chuckle. "Theodore, hey."
"Hi." I whispered suddenly feeling shy as I forgot everything I had prepared myself to say.
"What do you think?" He beamed, biting his lip as he looked at the exterior. "There's just one more room inside that needs work but, it's mostly done."
"It's wonderful." I stepped further down the pathway, my fingertips just lightly grazing the flowers that weren't yet in bloom, and they seemed to open up naturally at my touch. I could feel the joy that surrounded the place, the literal feeling of rebirth.
"I'm glad you think so." He looked down and pulled up his pants a bit and the silence between us stretched comfortably. I wanted to go inside but something held me back and I wasn't sure what it really was but I paused and stared at the threshold. "You can go in...if- if you want."
I looked at Winston rub the back of his neck nervously and my stomach did a flip. We had had our first kiss here and I had run from him. I flushed at the memory and stepped back.
"I actually had a question for you."
"Oh?" His eyes looked so wide, I found myself smiling at the sight of this big burly man look so innocently at me, so unsure and searching.
If I hadn't been sure before, I felt sure in that moment. This man was definitely different.
"Will you...go on a date with me?"
A\N
Written: 23 June 2022
Revised: 4 March 2023
So, hi😭😂 it's about to get cute in here, but anyway, just wanted y'all to know that, I work nights now😭 7 night's to be frank which also mean I get 7 night's off which is when I'll be focusing on writing and posting as much as possible. I can't say which days I'll post specifically, just know you can expect an update every 2nd week at the very least😊
Ciao🦥