"So, why are you ignoring me again?" Ross came into the room and plopped down on top of me, making me lose my breath.
"B-Because, you slapped my ass when I was going to P.E." I pushed him off, but he grabbed me and rolled us over so I was laying on his chest.
"So what, no one saw. You liked it anyways." He whispered in my ear, making me cringe.
"Someone could've saw though, and no I didn't like it." I moved so I can look at him. "Butt slapping is weird, don't do it again." I pecked his lips and got up quickly walking towards the closet.
"Can you take me to the mall or something?" I poked my head out of the closet to look back at Ross, who had his arms crossed behind his head and his feet dangling off my bed.
"What for?"
"I need a skirt to wear with the Paramore shirt." I went back in the closet and started getting dressed.
"A skirt?" He sat up on his elbows to look at me.
"I know, I know. I just want to look nice, and I've been wanting try different looks." I looked down towards my locket momentarily, my finger grazing over the words "let go."
"Okay, I'll go ask Vi for the keys."
I sighed when I heard the door click closed and leaned against the wall of the closet, remembering the conversation me and Piper had yesterday.
***
"No, we haven't done anything like that yet." I cringed at the personal questions she was asking about mine and Ross' relationship.
"But you will though." She laughed rolling to her side on her bed.
"Me and him- We aren't... Intimate." I blushed and covered my face. "Sometimes, I-I do get those feelings, you know? B-But I don't exactly know how to act on them without freaking out because of Rider." I frowned.
Because I've never exactly said these thoughts aloud, and now that I have, it's making me consider, how far can I push myself with Ross? How far is too far for me?
"Do you ever think that the love of your life could be out there, loving someone else?" Piper spoke up, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"I don't believe in love." I said quietly.
Piper rolled back over and poked my cheek.
"How come?" She asked.
"Because, each time it's betrayed me. I love my parents, and yet they left to go do something way better than raising me. Then I continued to love them and my dad died and my mom is going to." I sighed as Piper began petting my head.
"And I loved Rider, then he raped me. So love isn't always all that shit you see in Nicholas Sparks novels. For people like me, it brings nothing but pain. And I'd rather never meet the love of my life, because once they're gone, that's the end of my life."
It was silent as we laid there.
"What if you're the one who leaves though? What if you're the heartbreaker in the future?" She whispered.
I felt my eyes get heaver.
"Then it'd be better... because I'm no good for anyone." I said, just before in fell asleep.
***
"She said yes."
I jumped at the sound of the door hitting the wall, and I got up quickly from the floor of the closet.
"Good, lets get her done partner." I said in a southern accent.
"Are you okay? Because I reckon that there is the worst southern accent my two ears have ever heard." He mocked me with a perfect southern accent making me roll my eyes and I walked out the room to the car.
***
"You didn't have to come, just go to the record store or something and I'll text you when I'm finished." I walked towards Macy's but he grabbed my wrist.
"I want to come, plus you need my input on what to get." He smirked at me.
How intriguing. I thought.
"Okay, well I'm just looking for a basic black one, so go look in those racks over there, and I will be over here." I was about to turn but Ross voice stopped me.
"Size?" I blushed slightly before muttering
"Six or medium."
***
"Okay so I wasn't exactly sure if you wanted a tight skirt or loose skirt so I just got them all." I turned to see Ross with about four skirts and I nodded slightly cringing at a sequence one he had.
"I didn't really find any over here," I shrugged grabbing his options.
I didn't really look, I was far too distracted by Ross when he was picking out skirts, for me.
"Well, aren't you going to try them on?" I nodded briefly before heading over to the dressing stalls with Ross in tow. Before closing the door I looked out to see Ross taking a seat in a chair right across from my dressing room.
"What are you doing?" I asked skeptically.
"I want to see them." He replied shrugging.
I nodded and shut the door quickly and looked at my burning cheeks in the mirror.
We're dating. He's my boyfriend. This is stuff that couples do... Right?
I shook my head and quickly tried on the first skirt that looked more like a business skirt, and when I looked in the mirror, I looked the exact opposite of a sexy secretary.
Stepping out, my cheeks crimson. I faced Ross and sighed. I rolled my eyes when he did a turn around motion, and I did so, tripping slightly making him laugh.
"No, we're going to a concert, not filing taxes." He remarked.
"Why'd you pick it out then?" I went back into the dressing room to see a looser skirt, that had a tight waist band but flowed out and stopped at the tops of my knees. I hummed to myself while I looked at it, only to be interrupted by Ross.
"What's taking so long?"
"I actually like this one." I stepped out and looked at my self in one of the mirrors they had outside the dressing rooms.
"I thought you'd try on the sequence one." I looked back in shock to see Ross pouting.
"God no, it's a freaking miniskirt." I said before gasping to myself. "You pervert!" I laughed making Ross laugh too.
"Okay you got a skirt you like can we go now?" He asked annoyed.
"Just one second." I smiled deviously towards him before going back into the dressing room and looked back at myself in the mirror.
You can do this. He picked that skirt out because he imagined you in it.
The small pep talk I gave myself worked, because there I was, standing in the middle of my dressing room, in a fucking miniskirt.
"Wow, miracles do happen." I muttered to myself, being shocked at how long my legs look in this skirt, despite the fact that I'm barely five foot.
I took a deep breath before walking out and I began to laugh when I heard Sweet Jesus tumble past Ross' mouth.
"I'm not going to lie, I like this skirt." I looked back towards Ross who was glaring at me.
"Okay okay, you've had your fun. Can we go now before I rip that skirt off?" All my laughing seized when I heard his last remark and I gulped to myself, remembering some of Pipers words about mine and Ross' intimacy. Or lack of.
"Uh I'll go get changed." I said walking back into the dressing room quickly.
Too far. That was too far. I said to myself.
***
Once I got out of the dressing room I avoided Ross' stare as I payed for the skirt, and when we got out of the mall I ran towards the car.
It was only then I realized I have to talk to him.
"Cass I'm sor-" He began but I cut him of by kissing him.
"You don't have to apologize." He looked at me confused. "Seriously you don't." I looked into his eyes before pecking his lips again.
"You remember that conversation with April?" I asked quietly, once we were both sitting back in our seats, the car remained still in the parking lot of the mall.
"Some of it, I guess." He said scratching the back of his neck.
"Well, you complained to her about how you feel like your trying to defuse a bomb when you with me, and for that I wanted to apologize." I fumbled with my fingers.
"Cass you don-"
"I-I know that because of what happened to me, our relationship is strained. It's strained with all these limitations on what we can and can't do and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you can't kiss me for too long without me almost having a panic attack. I'm sorry that you can't touch me without me hyperventilating. I'm sorry that I'm broken." I trailed off, beginning to sob. "He ruined me, he made it to where when I'm with you, he's always there, reminding me. Reminding me of all the horrible things he's done. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I lurched forward across the center console and hugged Ross tightly and he returned the hug and began petting and kissing the top of my head.
"Caspian, you don't have to worry. We can get trough this together, it will just take time, and I'm willing to wait for you as long as you need me to. I care about you." He breathed into my ear and I closed my eyes tightly, letting his words go straight to my heart, where they will stay even if I don't want them to.
••••••
SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING
BUT I GOT GOOD NEWS
IM GOING TO GO SEE R5 AUGUST 1ST IN OKLAHOMA CITY.
SO IF YOUR GOING TO THAT SHOW IT WOULD BE REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU!!!
also I need help with the meet and greet stuff.
Do you purchase meet and greet tickets like concert tickets?
Dnsxdldnsldbdks
IM GOING TO SEE R5!!!
-Aliah