Three days later
Oakley quietly made her way back to the main bedroom, exhaustion seeping through her bones. She almost ran into Tate though, coming out of the room.
"Hey," Oakley said. "Where are you going?"
"Hey," Tate closed the door behind him. "I uh...think I wanna sleep in my room tonight."
"Are you sure?" Oakley asked, a series of nerves tickling her voice.
"Yeah," Tate nodded. "I'm okay...now. And uh, it is a little crowded with all of us even though Dad's not in there."
"Okay," Oakley ran her hand up and down Tate's arm. "If you're sure."
"I am," Tate smiled. "Goodnight."
"Night buddy," Oakley watched him walk down the hallway to his room and go inside.
Oakley slowly opened the door and looked inside to see Lee and Evelyn already asleep. She stopped short of going in though. Without Tate, Oakley didn't have anyone to talk to in the room. The past two nights had been her and Tate sitting in the chairs and whispering about any and everything.
It turns out, by some grace of God, none of the kids actually saw Oakley fire the gun. Tate had pulled the twins close and they were all looking down when it had happened. So Oakley and Tate had talked a little about it, but the twins had no idea what happened.
Oakley didn't know why it was easier to talk with Tate than Kayce about it. Tate held no judgment, there was no history with him. He also didn't feel like Oakley needed to be pushed.
Oakley watched Evelyn's and Lee's chest rise and fall with their breaths. She slowly closed the door again and stood out in the hallway. Quietly, Oakley made her way down to the living room where she figured Kayce might be. Her guess was right.
Kayce was sitting in one of the armchairs, a whiskey glass in his hand as he looked at the flames flickering from the fireplace. Oakley and Kayce hadn't spoken in three days. They had existed around each other, for the kids, but the two hadn't said a word to one another since their fight.
Oakley walked into the room, around the couch. She could feel Kayce's eyes on her as she sat down by the warm fire. She was still a good ten feet from Kayce though. Oakley's eyes moved from the ground over to where Kayce sat. He was staring at her, but hadn't moved a muscle.
For the past three days, Oakley had tried to unpack some of the emotions she was feeling. There had been a lot of tears but there was also rage inside her. And that terrified her.
How that man got into their property and into the house so that Oakley was forced to shoot, was something that ate at her daily. Why Kayce had left her, and their children, made her look at him differently.
Kayce taking a sip of his drink brought Oakley back to the present. His glass was empty now, as Kayce sat it on the table next to him.
"Tate went back to his room tonight," Oakley mustered out.
Kayce nodded.
"I'll move to Lee's," He said.
So that's where Kayce had slept the past few nights. Oakley would be lying if she said she hadn't wondered. She knew he would wait until he thought they were all asleep and then come into the bathroom at night.
"I haven't changed those sheets in a while," Oakley said.
"S'fine," Kayce stood up and walked back around the couch. "Just there until the sun is up."
Oakley's eyes followed him as he went into the kitchen. She heard him place his glass in the sink before he turned the lights off and walked back out. Kayce stopped at the back of the couch facing Oakley.
"You still pissed at me?" Kayce asked, leaning his hands on the couch.
A day ago, she would have pounced on his question. She would have fought back, gotten defensive or worse. But Oakley was tired.
"I don't know what I'm pissed at," Oakley replied. "I go back and forth of wanting to cry and then wanting to tear things apart."
Kayce nodded his head from where he stood. Oakley watched him, she felt this build inside her as she looked at him longer. It was like she needed to scream, but not at Kayce. He was a trigger for her, she did know that much. But he wasn't the root, he wasn't the cause. Oakley didn't know the root just yet, but seeing Kayce look like he didn't believe her made her fingers shake almost.
She just wanted to feel something other than this back and forth misery. Oakley wanted a break from this place of feeling stuck. She wanted more answers to what happened, but she couldn't get past this feeling she had right now.
"I can't seem to...get out of this cycle," Oakley sighed, running her fingers through her hair.
"The crying or the tearing things apart?" Kayce asked, walking back over to where Oakley was.
"Yeah," Oakley looked up at him. "I just...need a break from trying...trying to figure this out."
Kayce placed his hands in his pockets. Oakley could tell he had something to say, but the past few days were probably keeping him from it. Oakley stood up and turned to face Kayce. He was eyeing her, he seemed to be in alert just like her. They were both wound tight from everything.
"A break?" Kayce asked.
A new heaviness sunk over the room.
"I don't know," Oakley sighed. "Tate told me I've needed a break for a long time."
Kayce gave Oakley a funny look.
"Maybe he's right," Oakley shrugged. "Maybe this was a wake up call for me? To really look at what I'm doing."
"You take advice from a kid now?" Kayce asked her.
"We were just talking," Oakley raised an eyebrow.
"Good to know you have someone to talk with," Kayce was being petty, but Oakley also knew she had caused it.
"Well...I can't talk to my husband because it only seems to end with us yelling at each other," Oakley said.
"Alright, Oakley," Kayce nodded.
"Or him being pissed at me," Oakley frowned.
"I ain't pissed at you," Kayce told her. "Just pissed at this situation."
"That I caused," Oakley said.
"Maybe so," Kayce ran a hand over his head. "But you're focusing on the past now and I just..."
"You what?" Oakley asked.
"I just wanna sleep in my bed with my wife again," Kayce said.
Oakley felt a bit of the tension slip off her shoulders.
"You called me weak," Oakley said softly.
"No, I didn't," Kayce shook his head. "You're one of the strongest people I know."
"But I can't handle what happened?" Oakley asked confused.
"Seem to be doing fine so far," Kayce pointed out."So, what do I know?"
"I'm..." She looked into is eyes. "No, I'm not, Kayce."
His eyes widened slightly.
"I'm...so angry right now," Oakley said. "Like it boils inside me and I feel like I could spit fire, that kind of angry."
Kayce took a deep breath as he listened to her.
"I get angry at so many people too," Oakley continued. "I'm angry at that...that man, I'm angry at the wranglers, I'm angry at you leaving me and the kids, I'm angry at myself..."
Kayce stepped closer to Oakley as she was huffing and puffing away.
"And the worst part is when I'm lying in bed in the silence," Oakley sighed. "And it's like my mind won't shut off and let me have a moment to not think about what I did."
Oakley's eyes found Kayce's again.
"I just want a moment," Oakley whispered.
Kayce nodded his head as if Oakley had told him something he could fix. She watched him take a deep breath and then step up to her, cupping her cheek and pointing her chin up. His lips hung barely above Oakley's as their breathing changed.
"I can do that for you," Kayce whispered. "Let me do that for you."
Oakley's eyes fluttered as she felt his breath go across her face. Her hands moved to grip the sides of Kayce's shirt. As his lips touched hers, Oakley's eyes shut fully.
Their kiss was raw, tongues sliding past one another as Kayce's fingers tangled in Oakley's ponytail. He pushed her backwards, until she felt the wall of the room against her shoulders. It was like Oakley couldn't get enough of Kayce, her hand tugged him closer to her as she bit down on his bottom lip and tugged. Her hands moved to his belt buckle, quickly removing it, and tugging down the zipper of his jeans. Kayce quickly picked Oakley up from under her thighs. Her legs wrapped around his waist as Kayce walked over to the couch and sat her down on it.
He brushed some of her hair away from her face before kissing her again. Kayce kneeled in front of her, his fingers dancing under her shirt and meeting her warm skin. Kayce's lips trailed sloppy kisses along Oakley's jaw and neck before sucking hard under her ear. A mumbled moan escaped her lips as she pulled Kayce's shirt up, making him move his arms up so she could take it off him. He was left in his tank top as he moved to sit by Oakley. She tossed a leg over him, straddling his waist. Kayce's hands were on her hips, gripping her tightly as Oakley rolled her hips against his. Her sleep shirt was pulled up before Kayce yanked her underwear to the side, his fingers sliding against her core.
Oakley bit her lip as her fingers tightened in Kayce's hair. He leaned his hips up so he could tug down his jeans and boxers. Oakley let him guide her back down, over him. Her knees dipped into the couch cushion as she settled back.
"Fuck," Kayce breathed out.
Oakley moved her hips, rolling them over and over as she held onto Kayce. His eyes were blow as he looked up at her from being under her body. Oakley suddenly found everything disappearing from around her again. The sound of her moans and Kayce's pants were the only thing she could hear. Kayce's fingers dug into her skin as she rode him. His hips would sometimes meet hers, causing more friction between them and both to moan out loud. He moved his hands around to her ass and helped her move against him.
Oakley threw her head back, Kayce's lips pressing against her neck as she tried to chase that release, she needed. She suddenly leaned back so she could look at Kayce. His wild eyes found hers in question.
"Kayce..." Oakley breathed out.
Kayce held her as he flipped her around to lay back on the couch. Oakley reached up with one hand to press against the arm rest as Kayce's hips thrust against hers. One of her legs hooked around his waist, his hand coming down to hold behind her knee as he picked up his pace. Oakley's eyes rolled back into her head as she felt Kayce move in and out of her. There was the build up she had started, there was the burn she needed. Her other hand held the back of Kayce's neck as they both came quicky to their edge.
Kayce leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Oakley moaned, tasting Kayce while she came undone. Her legs shook, tightening around Kayce's body as his thrust became sloppy enough for him to release as well.
They both laid there for a while afterward. Their breathing somewhat back to normal, Kayce's head tucked into Oakley neck as they looked at the fire. The weight of Kayce's body over hers made Oakley relax for the first time since the shooting.
"Did that help?" Kayce asked not moving.
"Yeah," Oakley breathed out. "For now, at least."
Kayce moved his head so he was looking down at Oakley.
"I can't fuck you every time you can't find your words though," Kayce voice made Oakley's body shiver.
"Why not?" She asked, half playful and half serious.
Kayce smirked at her, but she could tell he was still sad.
"Oakley,"
"I know," Oakley sighed. "I'll figure it out."
"Why won't you let me help you?" Kayce asked.
"You just did," Oakley pointed out to him.
"I'm being serious," Kayce narrowed his eyes.
"So am I," Oakley leaned up on her elbows. "I needed that, Kayce. It...it let me escape for a moment. I could just be for a moment."
"You can't run away from your thoughts," Kayce reached out and brushed his fingers against her cheek. "You need to face this."
"I am," Oakley felt the frustration pop up inside her throat. "It's just not on your time."
She moved out from under Kayce, sitting on the couch with him now lying behind her. Oakley ran her fingers through her hair as she breathed in and out.
"You asked me how I did it," Kayce said quietly.
Oakley looked over she shoulder at him.
"How I go through moments of when I would kill someone," Kayce glanced up at her.
Oakley held her breath as Kayce moved so he was sitting next to her now on the couch. The fire was dim now before them, creating more shadows.
"You," Kayce looked at Oakley.
"Me?" Oakley asked.
"You helped me through it," Kayce said.
"You...Kayce you were," Oakley sighed. "Even before me."
"No," He shook his head. "You just weren't around but I still got help from you. When I was overseas I thought about you after a mission...dealing with my father I would think of you because there was a happiness to you, a pureness to you that I needed. You are the opposite of evil, Oakley...that's why you helped me out of doing evil things."
"You think too highly of me," Oakley mumbled, feeling stunned by Kayce's admission.
"No I don't," Kayce shook his head. "But I don't know if I can be that for you. If I can be...good enough to help you through this."
"You are good, Kayce," Oakley wrapped her arms around his closest to her. "Your heart may be beaten and bruised but it's still good."
Kayce looked at Oakley.
"You see?" He gave her a sad smile. "You're doing it right now."
Oakley felt tears build up in her eyes.
"You think I'm too good to handle something evil like killing?" Oakley asked and after a few seconds, Kayce nodded. "I handle you though."
Oakley wrapped her arms tighter around Kayce's.
"If you say I handle you, after something like this...then why can't I handle myself?" Oakley asked.
Kayce thought for a moment.
"You haven't asked me one question about him," Kayce said. "Not one."
"I guess I just...haven't thought about that maybe?" Oakley stumbled over her words.
"You're always thinking of others," Kayce told her.
Oakley stared at Kayce for a while.
"Who was he?" Oakley asked softly.
Kayce looked forward and down.
"Eric Barton," Kayce said, his eye looking at Oakley.
"I don't know him," Oakley shook her head.
"You employed him," Kayce said.
Oakley frowned. She couldn't remember an Eric Barton to save her life right now. But she employed him? Her mind raced through the wranglers out in the bunkhouse but she was coming up short.
"Kayce...I don't," Oakley stopped.
She remembered now. That was the hand Rip had come in to ask her about getting rid of. Rip told her Eric couldn't handle this place. Oakleys arms loosened around Kayce's.
"But...Rip said..." Oakley trailed off.
"Rip fired him," Kayce nodded. "But he didn't handle him because you didn't want that. Rip was following you on that one."
"So then he came after us because we fired him?" Oakley asked.
"Seems to be the M.O. for now," Kayce nodded. "If he were going after Rip he'd have gone to the bunkhouse...but he came here."
"What were the shots before he came inside?" Oakley asked.
"To lure us out," Kayce said. "I went out the backdoor though...to go meet the wranglers but he was at the front."
"That sounds pretty thought through," Oakley noted.
"He knew what he was doing," Kayce said. "He wanted you."
A chill ran down Oakley's spine. Kayce reached over and placed his hand on her knee.
"I'm sorry I left you and the kids," Kayce told her and Oakley could see the guilt inside his eyes.
"I wasn't actually angry at you," Oakley shook her head. "I was scared."
"I know you were," Kayce sighed. "You still are."
"What?" Oakley asked.
"You haven't been alone in four days now," Kayce pointed out. "You sleep with all our kids...you came down here to me when we weren't talking because Tate went to his room."
Oakley was quiet for a moment, letting Kayce's words sink in. She was scared and that sense of being afraid is what built her anger inside her because anger was easier to act upon than being afraid.
"Every time I close my eyes I see him," Oakley said, looking at Kayce. "And now that I know it was someone we knew who came into our house..."
"We're safe, Oaks," Kayce promised her. "The safest place in Montana is this house right now. You're safe."
Oakley didn't say anything but she watched Kayce stand up and fix his jeans. Looking down he held out his hand to Oakley who took it. She stood, letting Kayce follow her out of the room and up the stairs. When they came to their bedroom, Oakley looked around at Kayce.
"See you in the morning?" Kayce asked her.
"You're not sleeping with us?" Oakley asked, feeling like a child.
"It's a big bed, but not that big," Kayce smiled. "Go inside and I'll see you tomorrow, it's okay."
He went to step around her but Oakley grabbed his arm. Her eyes looked up at his.
"You could come with me to Lee's bed?" Kayce offered. "Smaller than ours but..."
Oakley reached back and opened the door gently, glancing in. The twins were still sound asleep, limbs thrown every which way. Oakley smiled as she shut the door quietly.
She followed Kayce down to Lee's room and let him tug the covers back on the bed. Kayce got in and situated before looking up at Oakley. She crawled in and curled up against Kayce. His feet barely hung off the bed as Oakley rested her hand on his chest. Kayce held her in his arms.
"The only way you got through the nightmares after the accident with Monica was to talk to someone," Kayce whispered. "Maybe that's what's needed this time?"
"Wouldn't that be admitting something to someone?" Oakley asked.
Kayce sighed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Oakley let her body relax against Kayce. For a while she listened to his breathing, counting his heartbeats against her ear. Kayce must have thought Oakley was asleep though because she heard him whisper to her.
"I'll fix you."