"You've gotten a lot taller y'know," Axl pointed out as he lay on his back on the hospital bed.
She cleaned blood around the cut on his forearm with a wipe, "Christ you sound like every adult ever, Oh mah gerdness Ameh lookie at how tall yer got."
Axl grinned with a hiss, "Shut up, you have though. Fourteen to twenty-one is a long time for growth spurts. You look just like Mom."
She smiled, "You have her eyes."
Axl watched as she picked up the needle and he groaned, "Shit man..." Axl let his head fall back, covering his eyes with his hand.
Amy felt a stab of sympathy for her brother, who apparently still hated needles as much as he did six years ago. She decided to keep talking to distract his mind, "You look pretty different too y'know."
Axl still didn't look up or move his hand from his eyes, "Yeah?"
Amy nodded, "Yeah, you're not as tiny. You used to be all short and scrawny. I mean, you're still pretty small and skinny for twenty-three though," she said humorously.
Axl smirked, "Girl, shut up."
Amy laughed, "I mean, just LOOK at this noodle arm!" she giggled, picking up Axl's forearm.
Axl laughed, "You're such a jerk." Amy smiled, content with herself for not only making him laugh when he was anxious, but also because in the process she was able to inject the anesthesia into his arm to numb it without him even noticing. Damn how have I not gotten a promotion yet I'm amazing if I can do that.
"Still though, your hair's a lot longer too, 'course you're still covered in a million random bruises but its what I expected, you can't go a day without getting hurt, and, is that a tattoo!?"
"Huh, oh yeah I thought I had 'em when I left."
"No you're arms were all blank and innocent when you left! Lemme see lemme see 'em!" Axl grinned, rolling up his t-shirt sleeves to expose the tattoos on his shoulders. "Awesome. What's that one for?" she pointed to the cross with skulls on his right forearm. "What's Guns N' Roses? You do know that your tattoo artist put a literal 'N' instead of 'and,' right?"
Axl laughed, "I know, it's my band's name."
She gasped, "You and Izzy got your band??"
Axl nodded, "Yup, we managed to scrape together some miserable punks off the street that can keep a decent rhythm." Slash rolled his eyes. Decent rhythm my ass, he thought.
"Yeah, well I'm sure they must be crazy if they're willing to play in a band with you."
Slash coughed dramatically.
Axl grinned, "My buddy Slash here's in the band too." Slash had a cheeky grin on his face, 'My buddy Slash,' he says. What a dork. Of course though I'm crazy enough to willingly be in his band. And fuck him. I guess I'm sociopath-level insane. Because I apparently fuck sociopaths.
Amy had a surprised look, "Really?"
Slash returned from his thoughts, "Yeah I play lead guitar."
Amy smiled, "I shoulda guessed you were either in the band or a prison escapee with a name like Slash."
Slash grinned, I like this chick.
"Alright... And there, we, go," Amy finally said and Axl released the breath he had been holding as she applied the stitches. Axl finally removed his hand from his eyes, looking down at the wound while Amy turned to get the bandages. Axl examined the stitching in his arm, it was kinda freaky looking, like something you'd see in the Frankenstein movie.
When Amy placed the bandages on his arm, Axl noticed she looked like she wanted to say something. "What is it?"
She looked up at Axl with a worried expression. "What's the real reason you came to Indiana, William."
Axl bit his tongue, sending Slash nervous glances. "Um...... Well its.... I've kind've been having a, a rough time..... Uh, and, Slash here uh.... He thought that maybe if I came back here, it would help me get over it."
She had a sympathetic look, "What's been bothering you..?"
Axl looked down, "I, I'd rather not talk about it..."
She bit her tongue, "Alright, well, how long do you think you'll be staying in Lafayette?"
Axl shrugged, "However long it takes I guess, however the fuck that'll be..."
Amy had a compassionate look, "Do you, want to go back home and stay with me and Stuart while you're here?"
Dread filled Axl's body cold like horror. Why the hell would he want to go back there? That wasn't his home anymore, he lived in California, and he had no interest in ever returning to that house. Why would he run away for six years and come back after all that when he finally has what he wants? "I think that's a terrible idea, Amy," he replied blatantly.
Amy laughed, "No no, Mom and Stephen are out of town, have been all month and will be for a few more weeks, they don't even call or anything, as you would imagine... It won't be that bad, I promise.. Besides.."
She lowered her voice, "I don't know what it is you're going through, and I'm sure I can't even imagine how hard it is, but I have a strong feeling that you have to be in Lafayette to get over... Something that happened here..." She had a deep, soft look in her eyes, "Sometimes you need to face something head on to get over it, like charging into battle. Its the only way through, may as well face it straight on, right?"
Axl looked down, "I just... It's so much... Kids always miss home when they leave but I, don't really miss much about it except you and Stuart... Everything else... I'd rather see it burn..."
"I know... But it won't even be that bad, it's just me and Stuart there, it's a little baby step... And I'm sure Stuart would be thrilled to see you again."
Axl covered his mouth with his hand, "Holy fuck, Stuart... Shit I haven't seen him since he was just nine... Fucking hell he's fifteen now. I- don't even know what he's like now, I just remember him as a little nine-year-old who, liked racecars and Pacman. What's he like?"
Amy smiled, "Well, he's gotten a lot taller, maybe even taller than you, he actually looks a decent amount like you though, but he's not nearly as little as you were when you were fifteen. 'Course you know he's always been a little bigger-set than his classmates. He'll probably beat you in height in the next growth spurt if he hasn't already."
Axl nodded with a smile, "Keep going."
"His hair's gotten a little redder since then, it's more like my shade now, it's not very long but he says he's gonna grow it out. He's not crazy about racecars like he was when he was younger of course, but he's fallen in love with Van Halen and I swear its all he listens to. But I think of course some of that you might have to blame his older brother who he idolized as a kid. And he's kind of nerdy, he still loves arcade games, I barely see him afterschool because I know he ran off with his friends to the arcade.."
Axl grinned, then looked down. It killed him that he couldn't see Stuart growing up. He missed more than a third of his life. "Does he still remember me?"
Amy had a bewildered look as if she couldn't believe he asked that, "Of course! You were his favorite person ever when he was a kid. You were his big brother, his role model, he always wanted to be just like you 'cause he always thought you were the coolest person ever."
Axl smiled, "Really?"
Amy nodded, "Yeah, I remember after you left, Stephen wanted to get rid of all your old stuff because it just made Mom upset, and he said that you left so why should we hold onto your shit. But Stuart took all your stuff, your old clothes, your blankets, even your old cassette tapes that didn't work, and he hid them all under his bed. Stephen went to throw it all out, and when he realized they were gone, Stuart said the night before when Stephen was drunk he already did that."
Axl laughed, "He didn't notice?"
Amy shook her head, "Nope, he didn't even notice when Stuart would go running out the door to the bus in a t-shirt that went down to his knees and had pictures of half-naked girls on it or said Thin Lizzy or the f-word all over it. He never even noticed when Stuart started referring to kids in his class as 'sweetheart' or 'sugar' because his older brother called everybody in school that. One time he called his fourth grade teacher darling, and she asked why for goodness sake did he call her that. And he just looked at her with his innocent little kid eyes and just said, 'Cuz you're a real doll, baby.'"
Axl laughed, "Fuck that's awesome, did he get in trouble?"
"Not really, the teacher called home after school that day, but nobody else was home so I answered and pretended to be his aunt, I said I'd 'let his parents know' but of course there was no way I was telling them, I was trying my hardest not to laugh in the middle of the phone call."
Amy continued, "Of course though, he's much happier now that all your old clothes actually fit him and he actually understands what's going on in all the dirty movies you used to hide in your pillowcase from Stephen."
Axl grinned, "....I wish I hadn't missed so much.... I never got to go to your high school graduation, I wasn't there to teach you how to drive and listen to you panic about all the drama of high school, I didn't get to show you the best kinds of liquor on your twenty-first birthday, I wasn't around to watch Stuart grow up or to show him how to flirt with girls or how to steal cigarettes without getting caught.."
"Axl..!"
"I'm kidding...!....More or less."
Amy had a compassionate look, "...Do you ever, think about us when you're in L.A.?"
Axl blinked, "Of course, all the time. Sometimes I just sit there and I wonder where you are right now, or what's happened since I left, or if you ever miss me. Somedays its all I can do not to lay in bed all day stuck in my own head about it."
"..If it's too much Axl you don't have to come back with me.."
Axl thought to himself. He didn't want to go back to that hellhole. There was a reason why he ran away in the first place, and he had so many bad memories there, it would be like returning to a crime scene. But he came back to Lafayette for a reason. He wanted to get better, to get used to people again, to get out of his own head, and to stop his past from haunting him. But was it contradictory to try to forget about bad memories and then return to its source?... But I'm not trying to forget them. Because I know I can never forget them.
I want to learn to live with them.
Maybe the best way to do it, is to take it straight-on. Like charging through battle, Amy says. It's the only way through. May as well face it head-on.
".....When do you get off work?"