ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴅᴏᴛꜱᴏɴ
📍: ᴀᴛʟᴀɴᴛᴀ, ɢᴀ
Nudy held me in his arms as I cried my eyes out.
"Come on baby calm down, I got u" he said, rocking me in his arms as he wiped my face.
"Nooooooooooo. My babyyyyy" I cried, thinking about my brother.
I been crying for the past hour none stop, I don't even wanna know nothing. Don't tag me in nun, don't text, call. Just ripped my heart out of my body.
All this crying not good for the baby, but it hurt so bad.
"Come on get up, let walk it off. U need some air" Nudy said, helping me up as I laid my head against his chest crying out.
"I just want my brotherrrrr"
"I know, I'm sorry baby" he said, hugging me as he wiped my tears.
I sniffled, trying to hold them back as we walked outside on the balcony as I got some air.
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Ｎｅｘｔ Ｗｅｅｋ
It's the next week, I'm still torn apart. Ian been on social media, I barely spoke to my family.
My twin was my heart, it hurt losing a sibling. It's like damn now wdf im suppose to do?? My brother stayed out of trouble, or at least I thought.
We suppose to be planning baby showers, not funerals.
I been very distant, I barely talk to nudy and we in the same damn house. This shit killed me mentally and emotionally.
"Come on" Nudy said, helping me out the car.
I put my shades on, getting out the car. I looked over seeing my family getting out the family car.
I don't wanna be bothered with, we rode by ourself instead of riding in the family car with them.
We headed to the front of the church with them.
"We gon have the family walk in together first, I need groups of twos" the funeral director said.
My mama and her man stood side by side. Dad and Step stood behind them, Lyric and True, Lani and Justice, I stood behind them and nudy stood on the side of me, Melody and Zay Jr stood with each other, Livi stood next to Grandma Mildred. Everybody else grouped in twos behind all of us.
"Alright come on" the director said, mom went first walking then they let dad.
My leg started shaking, I squeezed nudy hand.
"U okay?" He asked, I nodded lying.
I took a deep breath.
Justice and Lani walked in, me and Nudy stood at the door as we waited for them to get half way to go.
We started walking, i felt chills down my spine as my heart dropped as we got half way then i stopped. Tears started pouring as i seen him in the casket.
"Hollon!" Dad told the director as him and my mama walked over. "Yeen gotta walk up"
"Come on sit down" ma told me, I shook my head "no".
"I got this, I'm good" I said, wiping my tears fixing my glasses.
"U sure?" They asked.
I nodded, taking a deep breath.
"Okay come on" I told Nudy, my parents walked behind us as we walked up.
Nudy stood behind me, I walked up to his casket looking at him as tears started flowing like a river.
"Why I leave me like this? I love you so much" I said sniffling as I kissed his forehead. My lips were cold as hell. "I need you here, please wake me up already"
I started bawling, feeling my heart break all over again as Nudy picked me up.
"Come on baby girl" he said, walking me to the seats as we sat next my sisters.
I laid my head on him, he wrapped his arm around me, fanning me with the fan.
My mama got up, walking to sit on the other side of me. Nudy moved his arm, she pulled me over on her as I laid my head on her crying and he still fanned me.
"Shhh I know baby, it's okay. Stop allat crying, he would not want you stressing his niece out. He in a better place baby, I know it hurt cuz I'm hurting too but I gotta be strong" she said, rocking me as she wiped my face.
Shit hurt so bad.
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"Any more siblings wanna come up and say something?" The preacher asked.
Mama and Nudy looked at me, I'm the only one that didn't go up.
I nodded.
They both got up, walking with me up on the podium.
"Take your time" preacher said.
Nudy kept the fan on me and my mama stood on the side of me rubbing my back.
I cleared my throat, wiping my tears.
" I'm an emotional roller coaster as y'all can see. I'm not very good at giving these type of speeches, especially for moments like this. I wasn't prepared at all, went from planning baby showers to funerals. Growing up, we were always close. Any time he got in trouble, I was in trouble too always put the blame on each other so parents whooped us together. Y'all Thought Lani and Justice was the bad kids? Nawl we were the menaces foreal" I said, making everybody laugh.
"It hurt to get out of bed, haven't left the house in a week this is actually my first time outside. Damaged me so bad, I never knew thought I'd go thru some like this so soon." I cleared my throat. "Ion know if it's a twin thing but he could feel when I was hurt, I could feel when he hurt. Ion know it was weird. I noticed, everytime he would come around my baby would kick more than ever like she knew who he was. The night I got that call, before I even got it my baby was kicking more and harder Ian know why cuz he wasn't near. Hour later, I got that call that broke my heart. He was so happy to finally have his first niece" I said, starting to cry again. "What am I suppose to do now? All I have is memories, she will know who you were fasho. I love you so much, I'll forever keep your name alive. This isn't goodbye, I'll see you later bubby " I said, calling him his old nickname.
My mama and nudy walked me off stage back to my seat.
"Thank you for that lovely eulogy Ms. Story" pastor said, continuing with the service.
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"Come on u gotta eat" Lani told me.
"Don't starve that baby" True said, handing me some water.
I wish they would get out my face, I really don't wanna be here but Nudy brought me cuz I guess I need to be around my family.
"I'm okay" I told them.
I stared off into space, hearing and watching everybody walk past and talk as I started zoning out.
"Artist noooo, don't hurt him" I told him, watching him beat up the class bully.
"Nobody snatch nothing from my twin" he said, stomping on the bully hand. "I'm your protector, nobody should be putting their hands on u"
"I got y'all forever, till death do us part" he said, hugging me and my sisters. "Love yall"
"Love you too bubby" I said, hugging him back.
"Love you too" they all said, hugging him.
""You should name the baby after me, cuz I'm the best brother and uncle in the world"
"Sike nigga"
"Artavia or Asya for a girl, Artavious for a boy"
"That's ghetto but I might consider it"
"I can't wait to meet you little one" he said, rubbing my belly.
I chuckled watching.
I felt Latto hugging me, wiping my tears.
"I'm here now. I'm so sorry baby girl" she said, rubbing my belly. "You ate?"
I shook my head, "no".
Latto came by the house with the gang the same night but I stayed in my room distancing myself but ofc she came in there anyways and stayed with me.
I really appreciate her and Nudy for being with me at a time like this. She had a show last night and got back in late, so she missed the funeral but she made it to the repast.
"Come on, you gotta eat for the baby. U gon make yourself sick if u don't eat" Latto told me.
"We tried it, 5 times" Lani told her, sitting next to me.
"Did she at least drink some?" Latto asked them.
"Hell nawl" Lyric said.
"At least take a bite" Latto told me, I stared at her.
She held up the piece of chicken to my mouth.
I blinked, biting it.
"YAYYYY" she said, putting it down as I fake smiled spitting it out on the plate as she frowned.
"Damn" they all said.
I gagged, getting up running to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me as I threw up in the toilet.
I felt my hair behind pulled back, I continued throwing up as tears ran down my face.
"Let it out, I know baby" my mama said, rubbing my back. "Wet me a rag, cold water"
I sobbed, still throwing up.
"Y'all Hop out real quick" dad told everybody except my mama, closing the door half way.
He sat on the stool next to me, rubbing my back.
"U making your self sick, come on yo brother would not want this. U hurting you and the baby" he told me, wiping my tears.
"It hurt, I know. Ian never went thru nun like this it hurt bad but seeing you hurting is killing me trust me. You need to go eat something, stop rejecting it. Come on u gotta be strong for your child. Allat stress is not good and you know this, gon send yourself into an early birthing" Ma said, wiping my face with the rag. "Now come on get up, u need to eat then get you some air"
I nodded, my dad helped me get up. I walked to the sink, rinsing my mouth out looking at myself in the mirror.
I looked behind me, seeing Artist in the mirror. My baby started kicking more.
"Come on baby sis, I'm in a better place. I'm here with you, you gotta be strong for my niece. Stop allat crying, looking pussy" he said, chuckling. "I'm by your side the whole way"
I cleared my throat, splashing water in my face then I dried my face looking back in the mirror seeing he was gone.
My mama flushed the toilet, handing me an extra tooth brush as I grabbed it, starting to brush my teeth.
I rinsed my mouth, washing my face.
"You good?" They both asked, I nodded.
They opened the door, I walked out after them.
"She good now?" My sisters asked them.
They nodded.
"Come on, let's get you some food baby mama" Latto said, grabbing my hand.
This finna be a long day.
Hey Fuckers💋. I know I know I know
That was a very emotional chapter, I cried trynna write the shit. Ian never cried writing a book.