Bre
Waking up in Cousin's was a different feeling entirely different feeling, it was like you were being reborn. Maybe it was the magic at the beach house or perhaps it was just summer, all I knew was that I loved it. Just getting out of bed was exciting, getting to pick an outfit with a bathing suit underneath so you could go swimming whenever or the fact my favourite people were here. It was surreal half the time.
But after a while the reality sets in and I realise I have to actually socialize today and very an awkward conversation with Finn. And have to see Belly and Conrad. The dress Laurel picked for me had a gingham pattern with red ribbon around the edges. I looked mature but I really didn't want to even go anymore. I did the Deb to spend time with Belly and prove to myself I could do something like this but after last night I didn't even want to go downstairs.
I had put my hair into cute space buns and done natural make-up. It was giving the I didn't try but I did vibe.
The house was quiet. It was never quiet.
The anxiety was nearly consuming as I opened my door to head downstairs. Just pretend everything is okay I thought to myself. It would just be Susannah. Susannah was definitely a morning person. She'd always be up first.
"Hello Sunshine," Susannah said as I got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Morning"
"How did you sleep?" She asked, but she asked in a way she always knew.
"Okay" Pretend, Pretend, Pretend.
"Do you want any breakfast?" Susannah always knew when to not press on a topic.
"Um, I'm good. What time is that Deb thing?" The truth was eating anything made me more anxious.
"Oh it is at 9:30" Susannah was pouring herself a drink smiling as she said it.
"You beautiful in that dress by the way" Susannah winked. She knew how to compliment people in a way that was so natural.
"Thank you, makes me look old though"
"No, It makes you look beautiful. Your matching with Belly by the way" She told me.
"Oh"
"What does Oh mean?" Susannah asked.
"Nothing"
"Hello everyone" Jeremiah walked in happy as usual.
"What exciting event is happening today which means you are dressed up as gorgeous as ever," Jeremiah said spinning me.
"The Deb ball"
"Morning" Belly walked in wearing the blue version of my dress.
The room's vibe turned tense as soon as I locked eyes with Belly. I hated being in an argument with her but I didn't want to give in. Why should her feelings be more valid than mine?
Jeremiah grabbed a cup of coffee before leaving again.
"I'll be at the beach if anyone needs me before the deb thing," I said before walking out to the beach. It was the best place for me to think.
I could feel Belly move and sit down when I left. Maybe leaving is the best solution.
The beach was peaceful in the morning. The sea air was still crisp but the sun shining down on the sea made it warmer.
Just sitting in the sun made me feel lighter.
"Mind if I sit?" Steven asked from behind me. He had a cup of coffee and was still in his pyjamas.
I nodded. Steven was always a softy he never led on that he was but he was always there for me when I needed him to be. Even if he did just sit there while I cried or sat with me while I read. He was there for me quietly.
"What Belly said was fucked" He muttered.
I couldn't help but laugh. He didn't even sugarcoat it.
"Just a bit"
"You know you're our sister though right? Like if I'm ever in trouble I always phone you first and we argue like siblings. Because we are" Steven whispered the last bit. I couldn't help but cry.
"You don't have to lie, Belly, Laurel even Conrad knows it. I'm here out of convenience" I said wiping my eyes and trying to stop crying.
"You're not. Bre come on. Belly is too obsessed with the idea of Conrad right now. Mom doesn't want to lose you because it will be like losing her brother all over again and Conrad well he's too in love with you to think right" Steven said all of that in what felt like a breath.
I looked out to the ocean and took a deep breath. Like I was waking up again. Letting all the air in.
"I'm grateful you're my brother," I said pulling Steven into a hug.
"Okay don't let Mom see us or she'll take a photo" He said laughing.
"Thank you," I said pulling away from the hug.
"I'm not gonna stop calling you when you're at college. Every day I'll phone you." Steven said smiling.
"That's if I'm allowed to go," I said taking one big breath.
"Mom was up all night researching with Susannah. I heard them talking about it" Steven said standing up and walking towards the house with me following.
"Really?"
"Of course she was" He whispered noticing Laurel coming out of the house.
"We need to go otherwise you'll be late. Are you ready?" Laurel said looking between us.
"Yeah, I'm ready," I said smiling.
"Good Luck," Steven said smiling.
The car ride there was silent. Belly was sitting in the front and Laurel was driving so I as usual was in the back.
"Have fun! See you, girls, when you're done" Laurel said as we both got out of the car.
"Belly maybe we should talk?" I asked as both started walking towards the door.
"Jeremiah! Jeremiah!" Belly was waving at him multiple times until he noticed us.
"Damn girls. I almost didn't recognise you" Jeremiah said checking both the Conklin's out.
"That was way too obvious Jere, and we are late," I said She didn't want to walk in late.
"Where are we even going?" Belly asked.
"I shall show you the way," Jeremiah said linking arms with both the girls and leading them into the country club.
The room was already filled with girls dressed up.
"It's in here," Jeremiah said.
"Jeremiah, what do we owe the pleasure?" A scary-looking woman asked.
"This is Belly, I mean Isabel and Breanna Conklin. One of them is my future wife I just don't know which one yet" Jeremiah said getting more of an evil look from the woman. "Always a pleasure Paige, See you girls at home" Jeremiah bowed before he left.
"You are both at table two," The woman said narrowing her eyes at the girls.
Me and Belly walked over to the table noticing the girl Conrad was talking to at the party and the girl Steven was with.
"Hi" One of the girls smiled.
"You Bre and Belly right?" The girl who Conrad was speaking to asked.
"Yeah," Belly said smiling.
"I'm Nicole, That's Shayla, Gigi, Dara and Marissa" She pointed to each of the girls. Shayla was the girl Steven was seeing.
"So you are both sisters?" Shayla asked, I could see Belly's face go red.
"No, She's my cousin she just lives with us," Belly said so rudely.
All of the girls turned to look at me but I felt frozen like I couldn't say anything she just stayed quiet.
"Where are you both applying?" Gigi asked, she seemed to be quite nosey but nice.
"Well Belly is a sophomore and Bre aren't you taking a gap year?" Nicole said it, why can't I speak for myself I thought.
"I got into Standford actually," I said not even looking at Nicole.
"Oh sorry Conrad said you were taking a gap year" Nicole said apologising.
I just sank into her seat and listened to everyone talking. I noticed Belly being more confident which I couldn't help but be proud of. I didn't feel like I belonged.
As Paige started to explain Deb ball and all the different lessons I noticed the girls passing around a flask, which made me feel uncomfortable. I just hoped Belly didn't join in. How cliche they get.
The girls went back to small talk after Paige had finished. Why weren't any of the girls eating? It was like they were too engrossed in gossip to eat but they had time to drink alcohol.
"So what is it like living with Conrad and Jeremiah?" Gigi asked, it perked up her which was weird.
"Gigi" Dara said laughing.
"She got a thing for Jeremiah," Nicole said looking at Belly.
"Oh, it's like a new normality for me," Belly said.
The girls went back to speaking about random things and Bre was daydreaming. I looked down at my phone and saw a text saying Laurel was outside.
"Um Belly, Laurel is here to get us," I said interrupting.
"I'll meet you in the car," Belly said bluntly before continuing to talk to Gigi about something.
"See you all soon," I said smiling before walking to the car. I felt more and more out of place here than she ever did.
I got into the back of the car and Laurel didn't say anything. Not until Belly got in and they talked nonstop until they got to the house.
All I could think was leaving was the best idea right now.