I should probably be working on other stuff, but I was bored.
If you want more or for me to stop doing incorrect quotes please tell me!
Some of these are TikToks-
...most of these are TikToks
Florida: (to a snake) hi! Oh yous a big boy, your so cute. What's your name? Whats your name?
Kansas: it's right there
(points to a sign: venomous)
Florida: hi vee no moose. I Vinomoose!!
———
Florida: who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
New York: You're a hazard to society.
Louisiana: and a coward, do twenty.
———
(This could also go the other way around)
California: truth or dare?
Gov: truth
California: how many hours have you slept this week?
Gov: dare.
California: go to sleep.
Gov: I don't like this game.
———
(Gov forgot to schedule a seafood night. Maine, North Carolina, and Vermont are wearing 1780 clothing. Their standing outside the statehouse, nest to a pool, worh Gov's coffee grounds, instant coffee, and any other coffee they could find.)
Maine: Today gentlemen, we sink our flaming spear into the hearts of the rich!
Gov: what the hell are you doing?!
North Carolina: shall I toss it sir?
Maine: give the order, into the harbor!
(North Carolina and Vermont start throwing Gov's coffee into the pool)
Maine: Down with the king!
———
[before the floor is lava bet]
Greg: (to the western states) the floor is lava!
(No one reacts)
Greg: the floor was recently mopped by a kindly janitor, and your walking all over it.
(Everyone moves to a chair, table, or finds something to hang off of taking the least amount of steps possible)
Oregon: oh! Sorry sorry sorry sorry, sorry!!!
California: shit shit shit shit shit shit-
———
Rhode Island and DC: OOOOOOOOH!
DC: we're d-drive in a
Both: CAR!
Rhode: Destination, drug dealers-
Both: BAR!
DC: pass the mic right over to
Both: Puerto Rico!
DC: we forgot Puerto Rico...
Rhode: but we can't turn back, we've gone to farrles!
DC: we have to turn back though, we can't leave him-
———
(Greg offered to do a coffee run)
Washington: I want something iced, Cal?
California: I'll have a Neapolitan cappuccino. More cappu then ccino. Make sure it's got no more then four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise. And make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup. They always put Cali or Fornia, I hate that.
If you can't handle that I'll have a venti traditional misto. Please use soy milk with two blond shots, affogato and ristretto! I'd also like three pumps of vanilla at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, then add-
Greg: Enough!
———
(I can't think of context, I can just see this happening)
Greg: Gentelmen, let's be civil about this. Let's make a deal; you surrender, and you don't die. How does that sound?
Rude person: and how do you intent to kill us?
Greg: oh, I can't. But my buddy can, say hi buddy!
A Pissed off Florida: Hi.
———
Person: not a single one of those dumb kids have gotten hurt yet.
Kansas: dumb kids?
(Sees Louisiana and Florida)
Kansas: wait... those are my dumb kids!
———
Oregon: Girl-boss, Gatekeep! Uh- what's the one I'm missing?
California: there isn't one.
Oregon: but I thought there-
Washington: no, you made it up.
———
Gov: what do you got there?
Florida: a knife >:D
Gov: NO-