—— ϟ ——
Sitting in the bedroom that Hermione had been occupying, Noel, Harry, Ron and Hermione all sat together as they caught each other up on what had been happening to them the last few months.
"We've been searching for Horcruxes obviously. We found the original locket at the Ministry, that's why we had to break in. It had belonged to Regulus Black, that's who R.A.B was. Umbridge had taken it from Mundungus who had ransacked Grimmauld Place."
"That was the only one we had for ages and we had no idea how to get rid of it. To protect ourselves we traveled through different camping grounds. It was around December when we had stationed ourselves in Wales. That's probably when you had felt us."
"How did that happen by the way? Our protection charms didn't allow anything to see or hear us. How did you know Harry was there?" Hermione asked, a worried look on her face.
"I have a weird connection with the stars." Noel said indifferently.
"Excuse me?" Ron asked, looking at her oddly.
Noel gave a small smile, "The stars, they make me see things, hear things, feel things. They've cursed me."
"I'm sorry I don't—"
"I see everything in my nightmares. I see You-Know-Who torturing his prisoners. I hear their yelling. They've given me visions of the future. It's not good. At night...they talk to me, they're really loud and angry."
The three stayed quite looking at her frightened.
"What do they say?" Harry asked, intrigued.
"Just...that they're disappointed in me. Angry that I haven't done anything worthwhile."
"That's bloody depressing."
"Yes, Ron it is." Noel snickered. "It's not a big deal, I've had my mental breakdown over it already now I'm just... y'know dealing with it I guess." She shrugged, fidgeting with her hair.
"The day that you felt us was the same night Ron had left. So that's when Hermione and I decided to leave too. Christmas Eve was when we went into Godric's Hollow to look for Gryffindor's sword."
"You went to go see your parents, Harry?"
"Yes."
"That's when we ran into what we thought was Bathilda Bagshot. If you could've smelled her house, god it reeked. Of course as you know it was in fact not her. It was Nagini. We tried fighting her off but in all the commotion, Harry's wand was broken in the process."
"I also got this ugly scar from the locket." Harry said, pulling down his shirt a bit to show off the outline of Slytherin's locket that was now embedded into his skin.
Noel caught sight of the gold chain he was wearing and felt her insides grow hot knowing that he was wearing her locket.
"What happened after that?"
"Well Harry and I just kept traveling. We read the book that Rita Skeeter wrote."
Noel smirked, "I thought it was great. I mean a little out there and there is no way that she was being a reliable source but the letters!? Great. Kingsley and my dad were talking about when PotterWatch started."
"How did that start up by the way?" Ron asked, eagerly. "I thought it was bloody brilliant."
"It was all Lee's idea. He had some of us meet up and we all did our specials. We had to stop for a while we didn't have any safe places and people on Noseless's side were catching on to us. We haven't made one in a while," she sighed.
"We heard it! When Ron had come back—"
"Wait! We missed that part about the sword." Hermione said, putting them back on track.
"Right. I came back. By the way, you were right about the Deluminator. Guiding me back and shit. That's how I found them."
Noel smiled, feeling giddy that she was correct about what the objects Dumbledore had left them.
"Okay, so that night I was on watch that night and I saw a doe—"
"Is your patronus a doe?"
"No," Noel laughed, "Mines a dove. Why would mine be a doe?"
"Well... you love Harry...?" Ron said a bit awkwardly, his cheeks growing red.
"Well I would argue that he loves me more so why wouldn't his be a dove? Anyway, a doe showed you...?"
"It led me to a small pool where the sword was laying at the bottom. Ron pulled me out and we sliced the locket in half." Harry said, he pulled the remnants out of his pocket and handed it to her.
Noel pulled them close to her and for a brief moment she felt incredibly light headed. Closing her eyes to keep her head from spinning she got a horrible feeling. Rolling her shoulders back she gave it back to him immediately.
Harry gave her a worried look but brushed it off for the moment.
"Okay, you broke the locket, what else?"
"Well we um, took a little trip to the Lovegood's..."
Noel narrowed her eyes, "And?"
"Do you believe in the Deathly Hallows!?"
"Excuse me?"
"Mr Lovegood told us that the 'Tale of Three Brothers' is supposed to be a children's retelling of the Deathly Hallows. The eldest brother received the Elder Wand, the second brother got the resurrection stone, and the youngest got the Cloak of Invisibility."
"Harry is a descendant of that one. Ignotus Peverell. I did know what." Noel said. "When I was younger I would research Wizard family trees." She explained.
"Right, do you believe in them?" Hermione pressed.
"I mean why wouldn't I? Harry's clock is physical proof of it. C'mon Hermione it isn't that hard to believe."
"Noel, a stone that brings back the dead? Really?"
"But it doesn't bring back the dead. In the story it clearly says that she wasn't actually back. 'Yet she was sad and cold, separated from him as by a veil.' That's what the story says. The whole point of the Deathy Hallows is that they shouldn't be wanted. It all leads them back to death. The inevitability of it.
The point of the children's tale is to give them a message to not be afraid of it and if you are then you would suffer the consequences of avoiding it. No matter how tempting the wand or the stone are, I shouldn't want them. I would want death to receive me as a friend."
"So you do believe in them?"
Noel gave an exasperated sigh. "I believe in them, yes. Why should I believe differently?"
"But Noel—"
"Hermione, I am literally made out of stardust! I am an embodied STAR. I don't know why you're trying to find a logical reason for any of this when you and I both know that there is no logic in magic. You have come this far and I think it's time you start to realize that magic doesn't make sense in the way that science does."
"I firmly believe that you need both the Deathly Hallows and the Horcruxes to end him. It's no coincidence that Dumbledore left you the mark of the Deathly Hallows. You mentioned that you're having dreams of No-Nose looking for a wand. If he's learned about the Elder wand that's what he's looking for. You, Harry, have a slight advantage."
"Which is?"
"You already have two of them. 'Neither could live while the other survives.' Harry, you know what that means don't you?"
Silence.
"Fuck."
"Yeah, fuck."
"What did you mean when you said you'd bet more that I love you more than you love me?" Harry asked, now that the two were alone. Noel was getting ready to head home, when he brought up the question.
"These last few months I've really taken the time to sit and reflect on our relationship. And on the surface it may seem like you disregarded me on some occasions because that's what everyone has seen. But you and I both know that you did love me. You loved me very much."
"I do love you. I don't understand, do you not love me or something?"
"I don't think I know how to love you. Not you, Harry Potter but The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One. I don't know how to love that person and right now that's exactly who you are."
"But I've always been that person, Noel. I don't understand what the difference is now."
"The difference is that Harry was my boyfriend who I fell in love with during school. And The Chosen one is who broke up with me because he had a job to do. When this is all over and you're Harry James again, the sarcastic, kind person that I met at school that's when I will love you again. But I can not love this," she waved a hand over his body, "Because I don't know if you're going to come back. I don't know if in the end, you'll die. I don't know and I— " Noel paused, her voice breaking, "I don't know if I can love anyone else that isn't Harry James. So I will wait for him."
"You well know that that isn't how this works."
"It works for me because honestly, Harry, I need," she paused, looking down at her feet. She felt incredibly guilty for the way she felt. Because looking at the circumstances it's an awful lot to ask of him.
"What do you need?"
"I need someone who looks at me and accepts that I'm enough. I don't want to be put on a scale anymore. I don't want you to look at me and think, 'This thing I have to do is more important than being with her.' I am saying this to you because I understand, I understand you have no choice in the matter, but that doesn't mean that I have to accept it and wait for the day when you look at me and instead say, 'Noel is much more important than this other thing I have to do.'"
Harry nodded his head, he crossed his arms and looked out the window to the crashing waves. "Do you want to know something?"
"Sure."
"I didn't use the liquid luck on Slughorn right away because I was saving it."
"What were you saving it for?" She murmured.
"I was saving it for us. Maybe I needed it for something or you needed it. Maybe there was going to be one day when we sat down and talked about how we want to approach the future and we needed a boost of confidence."
Noel hummed, rubbing her nose anxiously. "I didn't know that."
"There are a lot of things you don't know." He sighed a bit of edge in his voice.
"Why don't you tell me then?"
"Why? So you could decide whether it's Harry Potter saying them or the 'Chosen one?'"
Noel stared at him, wondering how so much has changed between them. "Okay, Harry." She whispered. She put on her cloak and double checked for her wand. "Can I have my locket back?" She extended her hand, avoiding his eyes by looking past his shoulder.
He hesitated, furrowing his brows. "Noel—," he tried but failed to find any reason to keep fighting. Maybe this was exactly what she was talking about. The Deathly Hallows and the Horcruxes were his number one priority and figuring out how to fix things with his ex seemed slightly insignificant at the moment.
He unclasped it and handed it to her gently. Noel looked down at it, she felt her heart breaking because for the first time since he's left this feels like the final goodbye.
"You don't have to leave."
"What am I supposed to do?" Noel sat on the bed, looking over at him. "I wish more than anything that we could just pretend that everything is back to normal. That we're okay."
"Why can't you?" He asked, quietly. Harry walked over and squatted down in front of her. He gently grabbed her hands that were laying in her lap, engulfing them with his. "Why can't you just let us be happy?" He whispered.
Noel bent down so their foreheads touched. "Because I wish to have a little self respect," she huffed a small laugh. "Kidding. Harry, I will break if you leave me again. I'm going to become dependent on you again and then you'll leave. That's why I want to wait until this is all over."
"You can come with me. Why do you insist on having us end in heartbreak?"
"Because if I do it then it won't hurt as much. You're much stronger than I am."
"I'm not."
"You are. You are, Harry."
He shook his head, and laid it down on her lap. Noel sat up straight and idly scratched his head.
"Do you mean it? Do you really want me to come with you?"
"Of course I do. But if you aren't ready, if you're scared. I will be okay with whatever you decide. I'll always respect your decision, El."
"Just give me a few days to sort things out." She sighed. "You need a haircut."
"You can cut it for me if you come back."
a/n: sorry this chapter is so short. I don't know what's happening either. At this point we just gotta roll with the punches. Anyway I made some mood boards :D
^ Noel's ^
^ Harry's ^
(the bright spot on his is his portrayal of their relationship. ): )