March 20, 2012
"Psst, Caspian, you have a visitor." Someone whispered.
I opened my eyes slowly only to be greeted with the eyes of Rider.
I instantly jumped back and screamed as he jumped on top of me, covering my mouth.
"Happy birthday you slut."
"Cass! Cass! Caspian wake up!"
I opened my eyes to see Ross hovering over me on the floor and his hand was over my mouth.
I looked around panicked, to see if what just happened was real.
Seeing no one was there I shut my eyes tightly and started to cry and hugged myself making Ross remove his hand.
"Cass? What happened?" He asked quietly. "I mean, you've been doing so well for a couple months now."
I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest and he sat the same, we were both leaning on our own beds.
"I-I... It just happens on certain days where I remember when he did it." I whispered.
"O-On your Birthday?" He asked sadly. I was going to speak but I found myself choking on the words as I sobbed and nodded. "But I thought it was only twice, how come you didn't tell me there where more times?"
I shook my head and rested on my knees. "Because I'm tainted. And it's not something I like to fess up to, okay? I-I was young, and he took advantage of how stupid I was."
"That's not okay. How could you still be saying stuff like that about yourself after all this time? You're not tainted, people don't lose their worth just like that, you're valuable, you're precious. And I will keep telling you that until I reverse the brainwashing he's done to you." He spoke surely. Like he was positive that it would work.
"Brainwashing?" I've only heard the term few times from Si-Fi movies or conspiracy theory videos about the government, but I never would have tied the word to my situation.
"He brainwashed you. Everyday he'd probably tell you something to bring you down, then he'd bring you back up slightly by telling you he cares." He shook his head in anger and looked at the floor. "I-I just want more justice for you, it's not right, he only gets three years, then what? What justice did that really serve? What about other girls out there who could potentially be his next victim?!" Ross was getting heated making me flinch slightly, and he took notice immediately.
"Sorry." He whispered and closed his eyes.
"I'm fine." I breathed out, and Ross opened his eyes and gave me a knowing look. "Okay I'm just a little spooked, that's all."
"Do you think you could go back to sleep?" He asked as he got up. I nodded and laid down on my bed, Ross was about the come in too but I stopped him by putting my hand on his chest.
"Not tonight, please, I don't want to hurt you." I breathed out. Ross nodded somberly and sighed going over to his own bed, and I felt bad for rejecting him. "We can still hold hands though..." I whispered pathetically.
Couple minutes passed and I thought he wasn't going to take my offer so I sighed and was about to rollover until he grasped my hand, and mumbled "My precious." like Golam from Lord of the Rings. And I laughed before going back to sleep.
•••
"Wake up! Wake up!"
I groaned and opened my eyes to look at Willa, and Piper jumping on my bed.
I rolled my eyes and put a pillow over my head.
"Come on Cass, you have a big Birthday breakfast waiting for you downstairs." Piper and Willa left.
"Well that's one way to wake up." I jumped at the sound of Ross' voice and I looked over at his bed to see his hair was a huge mess, and his eyes were barely opened.
Cute. I thought.
I looked down and our hands were still joined making me blush. I pulled back my hand, only to have a huge ache in my arm from dangling it over the bed the whole night.
"Oh shit." I looked over at Ross who was also stretching his arm. And I smiled sheepishly at him.
"Happy birthday beautiful." He got up and cupped my cheeks pulling me towards his mouth giving me a breath taking kiss. And he leaned back only to go back in for another kiss, but I couldn't stop smiling.
"Better hurry before someone decides to eat my birthday breakfast." Me and Ross bounded down the stairs hand in hand, and I looked at the table to see Bumpy Roads famous birthday breakfast.
It was three egos waffles stacked atop each other, with whipped cream in between each. Along with the whip cream are Raspberries and black berries, and to top the whole thing off, a lovely strawberry cut to look like a flower.
I looked over at Mama Vi and smiled. "Thanks a lot Vi." I walked over to her seat and hugged her tightly.
"You're welcome Cass. Happy Birthday." She said quietly into my ear as we hugged.
"Hey! Hands off!" Ross yelled. I looked back to see Danny and Martin holding up their hands in defense.
"Eat your breakfast before your boyfriend has to kill someone." One of the kids remarked, making the rest of them laugh as me and Ross shyly looked away.
***
"Why are you hiding up here?"
I jumped at the sound of Ross' voice and looked back from my recliner to see him sitting in the hatch of the attic.
"Because, Piper decided to put a birthday bomb in my locker." I motioned to my hair that still had confetti in it.
"Ahh, the beloved birthday bomb. It seems they're giving you all of the traditions today. Wait until you get home." He teased.
"Wait what's at home?!" I asked panicked.
"I've said to much already, but honestly don't worry. Today is your day, so what do you wanna do?" He sat on his recliner clasping his hands.
"Oh, you know what I want to do." I got up and leaned down by his lips, pausing. "I was thinking maybe we could-" I grabbed the recliner handle that puts the foot rest up making him fall back. "Go to the zoo or something." I laughed.
"That was mean. But intriguing. So the zoo huh?" He asked putting the foot rest back down.
"Yeah, something just for the two of us I guess, but not to extravagant, we could go to McDonalds for all I care. I just want to be with you." I smiled, and he smiled back making us both break into a fit of laughter.
"Why are you so romantic today?" He asked making me freeze.
I was hoping Ross wouldn't notice my reaction, but of course he did.
"I get it, I'm sorry for questioning it." He fucking apologized.
Oh you sweetheart. My heart sang.
"Do you think its weird?" I asked
"No, why would I?"
"I don't know. I just didn't want you to catch on so fast, because you might think I was using you to replace the bad memories. Which in all honesty, I kinda am." I internally cringed at my wording and how this conversation seemed to be going so far South.
"Well, if I'm being used for a good cause, might as well just go along and make this the best birthday so it can triumph over your past birthdays. But I must warn you, my cake tasted like shit last year." He joked.
It was quiet for awhile, before me and Ross broke into another fit of laughter.
"So you're fine with it? Because I understand if you're not-"
"Shut up already. I'm your boyfriend not some rag doll, you can use me to be happy, just as long as I could do the same." He pulled me in and kissed my cheek. "Plus it's really not using each other, it's just... well it's a relationship." He laughed.
"Kiss me properly you little shit." I tugged him forward by his shirt, crashing our lips together.
Like always I took notice to how our lips never exactly matched up. And I'm not going to lie, but there has always been a fear that it was because we weren't right for each other.
But if kissing Ross felt this right, how could it possibly be wrong?
"So, how about that McDonalds?" He kissed my forehead, and I felt his smile.
"That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever asked me." I placed my hand over my heart and pretended to fan tears away making Ross roll his eyes.