Hanon
I left home with a bitter feeling. It didn't feel right leaving Kai alone to go on a date. Maybe I wasn't used to going out with anyone but him and I would soon get over it, but I couldn't stop thinking about how sad he looked when I left.
He must be lonely.
I sighed and decided to stop thinking about it. As I looked around to see if I had come to the right place, I saw Isaac in the distance and walked to him.
"Hi!" I greeted him with a smile.
I felt bad because the smile was forced.
"Hi, you look beautiful" He complimented me, looking me up and down.
"Thank you"
Honestly, all I did was look presentable and he was probably saying that just to be nice.
"Let's go" He told me and gave me his hand.
I reluctantly took his hand and followed him.
This just doesn't feel right. Maybe I shouldn't have given him a chance.
"You'll see"
__________
Isaac took us to a restaurant. I felt good that we were at a place with people around and not some secluded place. I didn't feel comfortable enough with him to be alone.
There was no reason, I was just paranoid and looking for every reason to not like this because it didn't feel right.
I feel bad. I am getting his hopes up. I am a terrible person.
"Isaac, again, thank you so much for taking care of everything" I thanked him once again.
We had now left the restaurant and were taking a walk.
"It's nothing. It's what anyone would've done"
"Well, no one else did, so thank you" I smiled at him, "Oh and thank for the date and everything. I loved it" I told him.
He chuckled, "I just hope we get to do that again"
I tried to hide how awkward I felt about this and smiled, "Yes, sure"
How do I cut this short without it being too awkward?
I looked at the time on my phone and gasped, "Oh, look at the time! I have to be home in a bit" I lied.
"Really!? I will drive you. Come on"
"No, no, no. It's like, very close so it's not a big deal" I lied, once again.
"But you have to take a bus?" He tilted his head in confusion.
"Yes! But it's only like, two stops. I am just too lazy to walk"
"Well, if you're lazy I can drive you. You don't have to wait in the cold for the bus and pay for the ticket"
I totally messed up by telling him I have to be home soon.
"Okay" I mumbled and followed him. He gave me a bright smile and led us to his car,
I was still thinking of an excuse all the way there. He opened the door for me and I was about to go in, but I suddenly came up with an idea.
"Actually, I'm kind of scared of getting into cars. Especially with people I don't know that well"
He gave me a defeated look, "But we are together every day. Do I seem like a creepy person?" The way he asked was as if he was genuinely concerned that he looked creepy and it made me feel worse.
"No, definitely not! It's just me. You're-wonderful. I mean, you helped me and you defend me and you took me out. I just-I'm paranoid like that"
It wasn't a lie. I was scared of getting in cars, but the reason why I really wanted to get home was because I was anxious and wanted to see Kai.
Call it seperation anxiety, but I really wanted to be with him.
"Oh" He looked down in disappointment, "Well, I guess I'll just have to gain your trust"
"You don't have to do that-"
"I want to"
I paused because I really didn't know what to say. I simply nodded.
"I'm sorry. I really have to go, I will see you tomorrow!" I rushed out and started walking towards the bus stop.
It seemed like he wanted to say more, but I was already walking away so he simply said 'take care' and waved goodbye.
Once he was out of sight, I let out a sigh of relief.
I totally sabotaged myself and my love life right there.
I took the bus and went home. I was shaking my leg in anxiety while I was waiting for the bus to come, because I felt so impatient.
As soon as I was at my bus stop, I left and basically ran to our front door.
"I'm back!" I yelled as I was going in.
It usually wasn't necessary for me to announce it because Kai was always waiting right inside and gave me a big hug the second I stepped inside, but this time was different.
I looked around to see basically all the lights off and only our TV on. He was sitting on the couch and his eyes were on the TV.
"Kai? How come you're up?" I asked walking closer to him.
"I love this show" He mumbled.
I glanced at the TV. There was no show. Only ads were playing.
"Oh, okay. I'll go take a shower"
I was waiting for a reply, but he didn't say anything so I went to the bathroom.
Why is he acting like that? Maybe I was right to be anxious.
I shouldn't have left him alone.
I took a shower, put on my pyjamas and rushed to the living room.
"Why are you so sulky?" I asked with a smile and sat beside him.
He finally looked at me only to say, "I'm not sulky". His face was Illuminated by the light of the TV and his beautiful features stood out even more, but his hair and eyes remained black even with the light hitting them.
I missed this face every time I was away but tonight I'd missed it even more. I felt like taking his pretty face in my hands and kissing him.
On the face of course.
"You usually greet me when I come home. You didn't even say hi to me"
"I don't feel well. I'll go get some sleep" He stood up and was about to leave, but I caught his wrist and he stopped.
"What do you mean? Do you feel sick?"
"No, I just feel a little tired"
I slowly let go of his wrist and he went into his room without even saying goodnight.
What did I do?
Is this about the date? Did it bother him?
Now that I was all alone in the living room with the lights out, I was getting a little creeped out.
I stared at my thighs because I felt like I would see a ghost figure if I looked at anything else.
"Calm down" I whispered to myself.
You're just scaring yourself, Hanon. Calm down.
But no matter how much I told myself that, it wasn't enough. I ran to Kai's room and before I could open the door he was already in front of me with his arms around me.
Finally I felt safe. I even felt stupid for scaring myself now that he was here.
"I'm sorry" He told me as he held me close, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight"
He picked me up and took me in his room where we got under the covers and cuddled.
"How did your date go?" His voice came out like a harsh whisper as he nuzzled my neck.
He had one arm under my head, like an arm pillow and the other was around my waist with my back to his front.
"Fine"
"Are you going to go out with him again?" He asked, kissing my cheek.
My face heated up by the way he was acting.
Why is he so weird tonight?
"Maybe"
"How are you going to explain to him that you live with a man?" He asked, his voice husky.
I didn't have an answer to that. I didn't even think about it because deep down I knew I wouldn't continue go on another date with him. I didn't even want to.
"How are you going to explain to him that you sleep with me every night?"
He kissed my cheek, again.
Sleep with him. That sounds misleading.
"That we cuddle like this" He held me even tighter and closer to him to emphasize his point, but he didn't need to. I was already a mess by the way he was acting, "Hm? What are you going to say to him?"
I stayed quiet. So quiet I was scared he could hear my very loud and fast heartbeat.
It didn't seem like he cared about my answers either.
"My Hanon" He mumbled with a breathy voice and started leaving kissed on my neck.
His arm that was under my neck came all the way around my chest and pressed me to him and the hand that was loosely resting on my waist before was slightly brushing my upper thigh.
"Kai" My voice came out weak and he was too busy sucking on my neck to listen to me, but to my surprise he did.
His lips left my skin with a dreamy sigh, "Yes, Hanon?"
"What are you doing?"
"I missed you and I want to be close to you. Is it bad?"
I glanced back to see his face.
That was my biggest mistake.
I could not say anything to this face. I was weak to good looks and Kai was the best looking person I'd ever seen.
Or maybe I just couldn't say no to Kai in general. Both were true.
"No, it's okay. I missed you too" I smiled at him.
He smiled brightly, his eyes narrowing and he kissed my cheek.
"Good. Now let's sleep. You must be tired"
I nodded, but in reality, I couldn't sleep easily with all he'd just done.
_________
"Hanon! Hi" Isaac greeted me.
"Hi Isaac"
Cameron still hadn't bothered me. He did throw me a few looks now and then, but they weren't really look of disgust like the previous days. It was more fearful, which didn't make sense.
"How is it going today? Cameron hasn't bothered you, right?" He asked.
"No, I guess you really scared him" I chuckled.
He laughed kind of awkwardly and shrugged.
"Who scared who?" I heard Cameron's voice.
Isaac's smile fell and he looked at Cameron.
"It has nothing to do with you"
"Did you lie to her? Are you that desperate?"
I widened my eyes in surprise.
"Dude, just leave us alone" Isaac rolled his eyes, "He's embarrassed" He mouthed
"Hey, I don't like you in any way so I have no reason to want to look good in front of you or lie to you. I was an asshole and I apologized, but this lying ass had nothing to do with it"
I looked at Isaac. His eyes were wide and he was shaking his head, desperately trying to tell me that Cameron was lying, almost as if he was embarrassed. Then, I looked at Cameron. He had a firm expression on his face and was looking at Isaac with disappointment.
It was obvious Cameron was telling the truth, as much as I didn't want to believe him.
"Then what happened?" I asked Cameron.
He hesitated, but he replied, "Some things happened to me recently that made me realize I've been too cruel to people"
"That's a shitty excuse" Isaac spat out.
I sighed, "That's enough. Let's get to work and quit the drama for now"
They glared at each other and then got back to work.
I was torn and didn't know what to believe, so I just decided to set it aside and focus more on working.