The plane ride back to California was dreadful, Stephan could not stop talking and asking a million questions and Steven was getting a severe headache. He hadn't slept for days thinking about Abby, now another catastrophe was on his plate.
His best and loyal friend Anthony had taken his life, Steven still couldn't believe that he was gone forever. It just didn't make sense to him, he had a beautiful girlfriend who adored him and he was going to be a father! Why would he throw all that away and end his life for a woman who didn't give a damn about him!
Tears streamed down his face, he could not accept the fact that Anthony had done what he had done. Steven realized that life was much too short and it was not worth living if the person you love wasn't with you. He now understood why Anthony did what he did, he didn't condone it by no means, but he understood Anthony's pain and suffering. Wasn't he too suffering because of Abby for so many years, and wasn't there also a time in his life when he was feeling depressed and wanted to end his life too?
Anthony took the coward way out! "Fuck you Anthony!" Fuck you fuck you fuck you!" He cried and smashed his fists on the wall.
"Daddy are you ok?" Stephan looked up at Steven with his innocent eyes and his lips trembled.
Snapping out of his anger and resentment, he turned around and looked down at his son.
"Why are you crying daddy?"
Steven didn't know how to respond to his questions, taking his little hand in his, Steven walked them both back to their seats and said, "Buckle your seat belt Stephan, we are going to land soon."
He then closed his eyes and Abby appeared, his heart, his soul. His everything. As peace settled within him, as it always did when he thought of her, he relaxed himself and blocked off any negativity for the time being. For he knew that if he didn't do that he didn't know what he would be capable of and he had to keep reminding himself that Stephan was here and watching his every move with a keen eye.
The flight back from Greece was a long one, but they finally arrived. The limo drove them straight home and he handed Stephan over to Alice.
"Take him to the park and let him have whatever he wants for dinner. I don't know when I'll be back, but while I'm away I do not want Victoria anywhere near my son, do you understand?"
"Yes." Alice nodded, and then added, "you look awful is everything ok?"
"I'll fill you in later now I have to go." He turned to look at his son who looked like he was about to cry, "you will be sleeping when I return, and the next few days daddy is going to be very busy, but when everything is settled me and you will spend quality time together I promise."
He scooped Stephan in his arms and hugged him tightly before placing him back on his feet. "I love you son!"
"I love you too daddy!" Stephan answered sweetly. "Alice can I have Macdonalds for dinner tonight?"
Stevan left and headed back to the limo that was waiting for him, how easy children get distracted, he thought, he wished he could do that too. Climbing back inside the limo, the chauffeur drove off and Steven closed his eyes and rested his head against the leather seat. How was he going to face what was waiting for him?
Anthony's parents were incapable of taking charge of the funeral arrangements, they were flying in from Chicago in a few days and begged Steven to arrange everything for them. They were devastated and could not accept the fact that their darling boy was dead. His mother was taken to the hospital, she had an anxiety attack and Anthony's father was comforting her.
It was up to Steven to make sure everything was taken care of, but how was he going to be able to arrange the funeral and then bury Anthony? He didn't know if he could survive the entire ordeal. Steven was a tough man, but this was a horrible situation and Steven knew it would destroy him. Anything was like a brother to him.
He needed her now more than ever, he needed the peace she brought him.
(I can't stand it anymore.)
(I know me too, I'm heartsick.)
(When are you coming)
(I'm coming with Claire, we'll be there tomorrow morning.)
(I love you so much Abby.)
(I know Steven.)
(I don't think I could go on without you, I desperately need you.)
(I know Steven, I feel the same way.)
She was his lifeline, he didn't know what he would do without her. Abby was the only person in the world that was able to bring him peace and calm him down. Especially now when his anxiety was building knowing that he would have to face the reality that his friend was now gone forever.
**************
"Claire please stop crying you're gonna get sick!" Abby begged.
"She blames herself for his death!" Jeff barked, "but the man was sick and couldn't handle reality that's why he took his life!"
"Shut up!" Claire yelled, "you insensitive beast!" Claire cried and threw a decorative pillow at him.
"Claire is right Jeff," Abby threw him an unsympathetic look, "let her grieve in her own way, she feels responsible and this is the only way she knows how to deal with it and for your information Anthony was one of the kindest souls I have ever met!"
"Both of you are gaining up on me just because I speak the truth. Anthony's kindness is not the topic here," Jeff clarified, "his stupidity is in question, he gave his life for a woman, he couldn't move on with his life, he was weak!"
Both women threw more pillows at him and Jeff raced out of the sitting room to save himself.
"How dare he speak of Anthony that way!" Claire screamed, "oh Abby, had I stayed with Anthony he would have been alive today!"
"For the millionth time Claire it is not your fault!" Abby reassured her, "Anthony loved you enough to let you go, but he was depressed and needed help and didn't get the help in time."
The honking of the cab that was waiting outside alerted the ladies and Claire called Jeff back into the the room. "Come get Lexi Jeff we are leaving!"
Jeff came back into the sitting room and pulled Claire into his possessive arms, "Go in health and come back asap!" He told her hoarsely, "and I'm sorry if I was an ass, I love you." He kissed her passionately and when he let her go Claire rushed out of the house with Abby, and Jeff lifted Lexi in his arms and watched the cab leave through the huge window in the sitting room, already he missed his wife and prayed she wouldn't stay too long in California.
*************
The entire plane ride to California Claire cried her heart out and Abby comforted her. It was a very difficult situation and both women didn't know what they would do once they got to Anthony's condo. How would Bella greet them when they arrive and Abby wasn't even sure if Steven would be there.
The excitement that she would be in the same room with Steven without Moss both excited and scared Abby, and this thought overpowered the thought that she was in California to mourn for Anthony and be part of Claire's support system during this stressful and dreadful time.
When the plane landed and they grabbed a cab, it only took them thirty minutes to get to their destination.
"I don't know what to do!" Claire cried as she removed herself from the cab.
Abby paid the driver and got out of the cab, and pulled the two small luggages to the sidewalk. When the cab sped off, Abby said, "Get a hold of yourself, we don't want Bella to throw us out, she never really cared for you to begin with you were a threat in her relationship to Anthony!"
"Why didn't she get help for him!" Claire cried, "why did she let him die!"
Both woman walked up to the tall building and opened the glass door. Abby walked inside first and rung the bell and she was buzzed in right away. "Come on Claire stop with the questions and hurry along!"
They took the elevator up and when they reached the floor they wanted they exited the elevator, but Claire started crying hysterically again.
"Stop it Claire or she'll throw us out is that what you want?"
Claire shook her head and followed Abby. The door was wide open and Bella stood waiting for them. Her eyes were red rimmed and she was trembling. When she saw the girls she hugged each of them and then they all started to cry again.
"Please come in," Bella told them, and escorted them inside the condo.
Looking out the window with his back turned was Steven, Abby's heart hammered against her chest she didn't know he would be here so soon. Jacob and Carol were sitting on the couch and they both stood when they saw the ladies. Their eyes looked as if they too were crying as they welcomed them.
Slowly Steven turned around but nothing prepared Abby for what she saw, there were black circles under his eyes and tears gliding down his handsome face. He looked disheveled, and he was suffering one only had to look at him to see the pain and torture he was feeling.
His eyes met and locked with Abby's, and she saw the silent yearning in his eyes and almost threw herself on him. Unable to speak he nodded his head to acknowledge them. Then he excused himself and walked into another part of the condo.
"Please sit down, there is much to say," Bella said, in a weak voice, "I would like to start with the fact that I am carrying Anthony's child and it's the only thing that is holding me back from joining Anthony!"
Everyone watched as Bella cried uncontrollably and they pitied her.
"I love him so much and can not believe what has happened. If only I knew the depth of his pain I would have not left him alone!" Belled wailed, "Claire I do need to tell you that Anthony still loved you very much and he was hiding that fact from me, but I knew deep in my heart the truth, and I promise I don't hold it against you. I love you because he loved you, and I know this is inappropriate right now, but I would like for you to be Godmother to mine and Anthony's child."
Claire's eyes lit up, "You're pregnant?"
Bella nodded.
"Oh my God what a blessing to have in the middle of this awful mess," Claire jumped to her feet and raced to where Bella sat and gave her a bear hug. "It would be my honor to become Godmother to yours and Anthony's baby!"
The two women cried their hearts out, it was a very touching scene when Bella took Claire's hand and placed it on her belly. "It's mine and Anthony's love child and I know he would have wanted you to be included in his upbringing." After saying those words Bella broke down again and cried relentlessly.
"Don't cry Bella, Anthony would want you to stay strong and to be happy!"
"Claire I never told him that I have his baby in my belly, I was going to surprise him on our anniversary next week, so he died not knowing!" Bella cried, "now I carry the burden of not telling him and I feel awful!"
"Bella he knows," Claire said, "he can see us now and he already knows!"
***************
Steven was a strong man, but today he wasn't feeling strong, he was feeling weak and tortured. Leaning against the wall he closed his eyes and tried his hardest to relive the pain that twisted in his heart. The pain of seeing Abby after she had revealed to him that she still loved him, but he couldn't take her in his arms and hold her, the pain that she was married to another man and worst of all the pain that his friend thought it best to end his life without thinking of those he left behind.
He didn't realize that the door to the room had opened until Abby threw herself on him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
His eyes opened and his possessive arms immediately circled around Abby and he squeezed her tightly. When she raised her head and looked up at him, he lowered his head and kissed her brutally. Tears of pain and frustration glided down his face, as he kissed her roughly.
"Abby," he whispered, "my heart, my soul!"
They remained entangled like that for the next ten minutes, without talking, just melting into each other's arms and enjoying the moment.
"I needed you so bad Abby, and when you walked through the door I was overwhelmed!" Steven said, in a broken voice, "we need to plan to see each other tonight."
"Yes!" she said.
"Promise me!" He said hoarsely.
Abby nodded, "I promise!"
His hands roamed over her body touching all the places that he was familiar with. His eyes were closed and he drank in the feeling of love. Touching her body had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with missing her and wanting to feel her close to him.
"Where are you staying?" He asked her.
"I'm at the Hyatt down the street, but I'm sharing a room with Claire."
"I will rent a room there today next to yours and I will be waiting for you tonight." He told her passionately, "don't deny me this Abby, I feel destroyed with what Anthony has done and I need you now more than ever!"
"I'll come Steven I swear it!"
**************
The rest of the day was spent in mourning and reminiscing about the good old days with Anthony. They laughed together and they cried together, as they each shared beautiful stories of Anthony and them throughout the years.
Bella listened attentively, but the tears were ever present. They ordered food and had it delivered for dinner, but no one really had an appetite and the food went to waste. Finally they all left and promised Bella that they would return early the next day to comfort her. The goodbyes were horrific, there were tears shed, lots of them, and when everyone exited out of the condo, Bella fell on the couch and cried relentlessly. They all had offered to stay the night with her, but she declined their offer saying she preferred to be alone with her memories.
**************
Abby and Claire went into their assigned rooms at the Hyatt and dropped on the bed exhausted and depressed. Abby received a message from Steven and her heart danced with joy, but she couldn't tell Claire anything because she knew that Claire would disapprove.
(I'm next door in room 309)
Abby's heart raced, and she prepared to put Claire to sleep so she could sneak out of the room, but to her dismay, when there was a knock on the door and she opened it hoping and expecting to find Steven on the other side, she was very surprised to find Moss standing there.
"I couldn't let you go though this suffering by yourself, so I took a leave of absence from work and came." He walked inside the room and gathered Abby into his arms. "How are you?"
Abby was stunned and greatly disappointed, she was looking forward to spending the night with Steven the love of her life.
"I'm not well," she said truthfully, "there was no need to come all the way here, I have Claire for support."
Moss threw her a wounded look, "You don't want me here?"
"That's not what I meant." She lied.
The rest of the night was spent explaining to Moss all the details of the days events and then she claimed to have a headache and needed to sleep.
Disappointed, Moss followed her to the bedroom, after they wished Claire a good night. He was hoping to cuddle and maybe make love with her on this sad night, but she fell into bed, facing the opposite direction and closed her eyes.
Abby wanted to scream, she had silenced her iPhone so Moss won't hear anything if Steven called or texted her, and she placed it under her pillow. She couldn't sleep, worried that Steven would be angry with her. especially since the iPhone was vibrating all night. It was Steven, he needed her tonight and she wasn't able to be with him even though she had promised him. It was a long night, but she finally cried herself to sleep.
Moss lay awake long after Abby had fallen asleep, thinking of his fake marriage. Where had he gone wrong, he thought, what can he do to change the relationship where it would flourish and Abby could be happy with him. He loved her and he was going to fight for her and their marriage. His arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her closer to him. Moss finally fell asleep with thoughts of Abby on his mind.
*************
The next day was a busy one, many preparations were needed to be done and everyone helped with the tasks. Bella had to call all her people and let them know the details of the funeral. Claire, Abby and Carol had to call the family and friends from back home in Park Ridge Illinois and Steven alongside Jacob had the most difficult job of taking care of all the funeral arrangements.
It was a long and painful day, and when all was said and done, they ordered food and ate in silence with Bella at the condo. Steven had not joined them, in fact, Abby hadn't seen him the entire day. She knew he was probably upset with her. The night before he had sent many texts and even called her a few times, without knowing that Abby was unable to answer because Moss had come.
This morning Moss had told her that he was going to visit a few friends, and give her the time she needed with her friends, "I will meet up with you later in the day." He had said, and kissed her on the cheek and left.
Abby was relieved to be rid of him not knowing how she would explain him to Steven. But she never had the chance to speak to Steven, and she was very upset. She had even texted him a few times and called but he didn't answer.
***************