wednesday
bartels's household ♥️
8:45 am
~ jayden pov
i make a lot of bad decisions but this one i made last night wasn't one of them. i left the house right after jules asked me if i wanted to come over and i came immediately. i got there so fast the freeway was moving faster than normal. i got to her place at 10 something and we were hanging out in the house and then we went live and i told them basically that jules and i are serious and to shut up about calling her hot and stuff and saying they want her. i made it known to the world because i was being pushed at school to say something. jules agreed to what i was saying. after we had our sit down moment we were up making cookies in her kitchen and we made out on live by accident we didn't know they could see us. we ended it after we realized and we continued to make out in the kitchen. jules was trying to get freaky in the kitchen but i told her no because hayley was home she didn't care😂. we waited for the cookies to finish and then went to her room and we had the most passionate sex ever. she left a hickey on my neck and i left two on hers. i fell asleep after she finished. but i woke up at 3 in the morning and saw jules sleeping so i kissed her gently and left her house. i drove home and got there 4:40 am and i snuck in went straight to bed. jules so lucky i love her this much i would never choose someone over my sleep.
i'm gonna be late to school today. i'm ready for school but i'm just now getting in my car. i avoided my parents before they could ask me anything since i have a hickey on my neck again. i get in my car and start it up. i start driving to school. even bronny beat me out the house this morning his car is gone.
NCHS 🦁
1st period - volleyball 🏐
~ jayden pov
i'm in the locker room now after getting breakfast from the cafeteria. i'm sitting down eating on the bench we're starting practice in 10 minutes i'm trying to finish fast. i'm already in uniform.
"so you missed breakfast at home today" kianna says as she came up to me
my face is stuffed so i nod slowly, "how long were you out with jules last night?" she asks
i hold up 6 fingers, "6 hours?" she asks
i nod and i swallow my food, "i fell asleep at her house and woke up at 3 in the morning and drove home i over slept this morning because of that" i say
"i'm glad you got you some last night but jayde have you checked social media?" she asks
i look at her confused, "no why?" i ask
kianna looks concerned and pulls out her phone. i watch her open instagram and go to my hashtag. i see screenshots just reposted all down the timeline of the hashtag and some screen recordings of us making out last night. i click on one of the screenshots reposted and read it. it's of dms between jules and another girl. jules had heart eyes'd one of the girls posts in her dm and the girl said heyyy to her and jules never responded after until the girl double texted and asked her if she's single jules said complicated and that's when i stopped reading.
"what the fuck is that?" i ask
"jules's dm with this ig model and it was recent look at the dates" she says
i scrunch my eyebrows, "that's gotta be fake jules isn't like that and even if she did say that maybe we were fighting at that time" i say
"but then there's leaked pictures of her and lily" ki says before showing me. the way my eyes widened when she showed me the pictures leaked of them. lily was half naked with her and there was another one of them drinking and a video of them smoking together and a message lily didn't send to jules but wanted to and it was so... deep. lily liked her a lot clearly.
i face palm i lost my appetite, "that was old ki" i say
"i know but still look how everything is just being put out there now ever since last night someone has access to lily's icloud jules's is gonna be next probably" ki says
"i don't believe jules is cheating on me so i have nothing to worry about" i say
"i don't believe that either but look at how deep lily liked her that message she didn't send had people feeling bad for her and they're against you and jules being together all because of lilys message to jules" ki says
"ok but when jules and i got together she told me specifically that she didn't want lily she wanted me but.. she did go from me to her everytime we had problems" i say
"do you think jules has feelings for lily?" kianna asks me
does she?
Riverside, California - Studio🎶
9:50 am
~ jules pov
eddie and i wrote our other song 'thousand miles' together we're doing solos today though. i'm going first i'm waiting for the signal.
they gave me a signal and hit record before starting the instrumental.
"Oh, we almost got away, we've cut it close
The city's getting loud
If I choke, it's only 'cause I'm scared to be alone
Been trying to work it out, you should know" i sang
"I would do whatever you wanted
We don't have to leave the apartment (Ah)
Met you at the right time (Ah)
This is what it feels like
Living in a movie I've watched and
Funny, 'cause you couldn't have called it (Ah)
Met you at the right time (Ah)
This is what it feels like" i sang
"Oh, the train was cold, we left Connecticut
We stayed a couple hours
Our clothes matched enough to throw me off a bit
Your phone was playing "Towers" and I" i sang
"I would do whatever you wanted
We don't have to leave the apartment (Ah)
Met you at the right time (Ah)
This is what it feels like
Living in a movie I've watched and
Funny, 'cause you couldn't have called it (Ah)
Met you at the right time (Ah)
This is what it feels like" i sang
"And I need you sometimes
We'll be alright (Ah)
Met you at the right time (Ah)
This is what it feels like
And I miss you some nights
We'll be alright (Ah)
Met you at the right time (Ah)
This is what it feels like" i sang
"I would do whatever you wanted
We don't have to leave the apartment
Met you at the right time
This is what it feels like" i sang
the instrumental stops and i take off the headphones. i walk out the box and eddie got up to come my way.
eddie smiles, "who's that about? it's so good." eddie says
i shrug, "someone" i say
eddie pushes me playfully and we laugh, "ayo put the track up on mines" eddie says before going into the box.
"are we just doin solos today?" one of our producers says
"yes" cole told him.
i sit on the couch and they started eddie's recording process. the instrumental drops and everyone starts bopping out it made me laugh a little they joined me.
this is his song.
"Yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah" eddie says
"I wanna hear it again (Again)
So tell me you love me again (Love me again)
Tell me you trust me again (Trust me again)
Tell me it's us 'til the end ('Til the end)
I wanna touch you again (Again)
I wanna cuddle again (Cuddle again)
I wanna fuck you again (Fuck you again)
Shorty, let's make it a plan (Yeah)
I'll be on my way tonight (Tonight)
Private jet, I ain't missin' no flight (No flight)
Come put that dick in your life (Dick in your life)
I'm tryna make you my wife (Yeah)
'Member the first day I met you (Met you)
I could just tell you was special (You was special)
After the first day I sexed you (Sexed you)
How could I ever forget you? (Oh)" eddie raps
"Uh, put up with my shit for so damn long (Long)
I buy you material things, but that don't right my wrongs (Wrongs)
Told the whole world about your pain, put it in my songs (Yeah)
Then wonder why you don't wanna listen to none of my songs (Oh, oh)
Then wonder why you in your feelings when I'm not at home (Oh, oh)
Trippin', I'm all in my feelings, I went through your phone (Yeah)
Some things just better off not knowin' (Not knowin')
That ain't right, been movin' out of spite
Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah
Who gon' hold me down, gon' be around? Girl, all I need is you
I don't give no fuck what I find out, I still wanna be with you
After all the shit I put you through, what the fuck I look like leavin' you?" eddie raps
"I wanna hear it again (Again)
So tell me you love me again (Again)
Tell me you trust me again (Again)
Tell me it's us 'til the end (Us 'til the end)
I wanna touch you again (Touch you again)
I wanna cuddle again (Cuddle again)
I wanna fuck you again (Fuck you again)
Shotty, let's make it a plan (Yeah)
I'll be on my way tonight (Tonight)
Private jet, I ain't missin' no flight (Missin' no flight)
Come put that dick in your life (Dick in your life)
I'm tryna make you my wife (Yeah)
'Member the first day I met you (Met you)
I could just tell you was special (You was special)
After the first day I sexed you (Sexed you)
How could I ever forget you? (Oh)" eddie raps
"Oh
Oh
How could I ever forget you?" eddie says
SDHS🐻
6th period - astrology
~ jules pov
i'm in class now. we were doing a group study together as a class and the teacher put us in groups. she almost put me in a group with sadie. then when we came back as a class to answer the questions the teacher wanted answers for i spoke out to give her my answer and sadie jumps in and basically makes it seem like i'm wrong and the teacher broke up our little fight because i was pissed she cut me off and made me feel stupid. i literally looked at my group in shock and vinnie immediately backed me up against sadie. now we're at the last 30 minutes of class. i have one class left before i'm out for today. i have it with my best friends. eddie and i have a late night studio session today for the first time. we're excited to right around riverside and la tonight😌.
"manda when's our first game again?" i ask while looking at my phone.
"monday night" amanda says
"hey what's with all that drama going around with you and that ig model and lily?" ryder asks me
i pause and slowly look at them. they're all looking at me. amanda is smiling a little at me, "that ig model was nothing at all i texted her when i was with jayden yeah but jayden knew about her i told her i was texting her and then she hit me up later on before i was with jayden to say that and i just told her we were complicated at the time and ghosted shorty again" i say
"...what about lily chee? why is she such a huge topic with you?" vinnie asks me
i chuckle, "i don't even know to be honest" i say
"but you do know like.. you know that that lily girl has a lot of feelings for you" amanda says with a smile
i smile, "she doesn't matter ok? i'm with jayden that's who i wanna be with so she doesn't matter" i say
"did you not read lily's unsent message to you?" ryder asks me
"for may 6th" vinnie adds on
i nod slowly, "i read it but so what?" i say
"lily like.. REALLY liked you or still does.. the emotion she put into that text was something else i'll even read it back to you" ryder says
"reread it when i read it i was like no way this is posted on the media" vinnie says to us
ryder got out his phone and i got anxious watching his click away on his phone. i do feel bad that lily's text got exposed. that was private and i know that she liked me a lot. she still does she just acts like she doesn't. she respects my relationship and my decisions so she stays away so that i'm happy. i owe her the world.
ryder pulls it up and he glances at us, "ok so she says" ryder says before clearing his throat.
"i know i shouldn't be texting you right now considering you chose her over me. i care about you so much that i will respect all your decisions. since the day we met i knew you would make a big impact on me since i started to get butterflies when i would look into your eyes. everytime i would see you smile it made me genuinely happy. there were moments when i felt like you wanted me everytime you would lock eyes with me or touch me. even make a move on me. i fell for it. my worst decisions ever that always made me fall for you even more than i already was. i wanted you. i wanted to give you everything you deserved. knowing your past and how the one you chose over me was treating you made me want to step up and be there for you. whether as a friend or more. i just wanted to be there. i guess at the end i just wish you chose me. - lily" ryder read
i lost eye contact, "and fans know its lily's text to you because of her name being signed at the end and when her screenshot got leaked they strongly believe it's an unsent message to you because of the previous message even though your name was blocked out" ryder says to me
i look at him, "i know how lily feels for me but i'm with jayden i can't do anything about that now i already talked with her before i got with jayden officially and we made an agreement" i say
"lily still likes you though" they all say at the same time in different tones. no shit.
my phone dings and i see a text from jayden.
my girl🤎
jayde | 2:58 pm
i saw the texts on social media
jules | 2:59 pm
it's nothing babe
jayde | 3:00 pm
i don't think it is i think it's a big deal actually
jules | 3:01 pm
bae it's nothing i promise buh u can tell me what's bothering you
jayde | 3:02 pm
don't say it's nothing when it it is something jules u have whole other girl in love w u
jules | 3:03 pm
that doesn't matter tho i'm w u right?
jayde | 3:04 pm
do u like her?
jules | 3:05 pm
are u serious?
jayde | 3:06 pm
yes and be honest
jules | 3:07 pm
if i liked her i wouldn't be w u u know tha
jayde | 3:08 pm
u were fucking w both me and her at the same time and u expect me to believe that u have no feelings for her?
jules | 3:09 pm
omg believe what u want then
i leave our messages. i've gotta talk to lily but not right now.
bartels's household ♥️
6:15 pm
~ jayden pov
when i got home i just got straight to doing homework. darian wasn't here yet and bronny was on his way home when i got here. so i was home alone for a few minutes. i got my homework done and now i'm playing call of duty on my ps5 in bed. i haven't answered jules since school. i'm actually upset with her about that. the whole lily situation. lily's the girl she hooked up with in miami while she was talking to me making it seem like we were serious AND jules hung out with another girl because i was busy AND THEN jules kisses lily at a party i was attending and i found them doing it and she straight lies to me. jules always defended lily. and she's telling me she doesn't like her? and lily and jules would hangout behind my back. hayley told me i just never said a thing to jules about it. and that time i found lily in her apartment yeah i went off on both on them because what the hell? jules and i were dating. it just makes me think now about what they have. it's clear lily damn near was in love with her and jules was always with her who knows the truth? lilys unsent message to her is all over social media drama pages are talking about it and people are siding. they think i should move on because jules and lily have chemistry and then people are calling jules a player and a cheater. mind you none of us have said anything to the drama either of us 3. i know that the first that doesn't need to speak first is jules. she'll lie her way out of this shit🙄.
bronny comes into my room since the door is wide open, "jules is outside wants to talk to you" bronny says
i roll my eyes, "tell her to go away and see lily" i say
bronny laughs a little, "i heard about the rumors and i think it's a misunderstanding" he says
"it can't be you don't know what was happening behind the scenes only i do lily and jules" i say
"but what is it that you believe is going on?" he asks
"..i believe that jules has feelings for her there's no way in hell she doesn't making a girl like that fall in love.." i say gently
bronny gives me soft eyes, "what do you mean a girl like that?" he asks softly
i hate to say this, "... she's pretty and her type they're always laughing together and playful that's what jules is into.. maybe i'm not enough." i say gently
"hey don't say that you're more than enough and d and i told you this before. you are WAY more than enough." bronny says
i lost eye contact for a second and we heard someone coming upstairs. bronny turns around and we see jules, "decided to come in" jules says to us
"how'd you get in?" bronny asks her
"get out" i say to her
"darian told me to come in since he was opening the door" jules says to him
d came in and over to me with a paper in his hand. hands it to me, "it's from stanford" d says
my heart drops and d smiles at me, "you might be going champ" d says
i'm nervous to open it but i've got other things to worry about right now. i set it down on my night stand and exit my game to look at everyone, "boys could you give us a minute and make me something to eat please" i say to my brothers
"we gotchu" bronny says
"don't have too much fun" d smirks as they leave. i couldn't even smile like usual because i'm mad. they close the door behind them. i know bron's gonna tell d what i told him. jules is just standing by the door looking at me.
"why did you come here?" i ask gently
"to apologize babe" she says
i'm not looking at her i'm looking at my bracelet on my wrist i'm fidgeting with, "for what? i want to know the truth and you won't be honest with me." i say gently
"baby but i am.. i told you i don't want her and i don't talk to her either so what if her unsent message to me got leaked why does that suddenly matter when me and you are together now?" jules says
"because she has feelings for you like how i have for you and you have a connection with her like how you have with me" i say
"but it's not like that at all she's just a friend and she knows this i don't talk to her because i'm with you i want you babe" she says
i look her in the eyes, "so the bikini pictures she sent you that you responded to is just friendly behavior julianna?" i ask
jules was speechless. i nod to myself, "it's adding up" i say
"jayden you and i were on a break or something we weren't talking" she says
"yes we were and you were seeing her behind my back many times together and talking just admit you fucking like her" i say with an attitude
she smacks her lips, "can we stop talking about this?" she asks
"get out" i say
she walks over to me and tried to touch me but i hit her to stop her from touching me, "bro move bro i'm not fucking with you right now leave me alone get out" i say with an attitude
she smacks her lips, "bae.. really? this whole thing is stupid. i drove from san diego to la to see you and fix us but you won't listen to me all because you think i fuck with lily or like her." she says with a little attitude
i scrunch my eyebrows, "you do like her you're not admitting you don't" i say with an attitude
"what's it gonna change if i did or didn't? me and you would still be the same way. at the end of the day i wanna fuck with you not her. it's like you want me with her." she says with an attitude
i look her in the eyes again struggling not to tear up by how hurt i am by this, "do you want to be with her? do you want her? like her?" i ask
"no. ok? no. if i wanted her i would be with her but clearly i don't because i'm with you. fighting for you." she says with an attitude
i lost eye contact and look down at my bracelet. i heard her sigh, "look i'm sorry.. i didn't wanna come over here to do this." jules says softly
she hugs me. i let her even though i'm mad. she looks at me in the hug, "do you forgive me? i did nothing wrong and you know it." she says softly before kissing my cheek.
she's done this before. did something and tricked me into believing i'm crazy and overreacting. i fall for it too much that's so weak of me to do. but i'm fool for love, "forgive me baby." she adds on in a soft tone before kissing my lips gently.
the kiss made me get butterflies. i hate that. how she gets me high after i'm mad at her. she's so charming, "i forgive you" i say softly
she smirks at me before planting another kiss on my lips. she breaks the hug and stands up to stretch. i look up at her and she smiles, "you trust me mi amor?" she asks softly
when i put my trust in her she breaks it. i don't know if their was ever a time jules was genuinely sorry what she does to me. that's the sickening part, "are you ever genuinely sorry for what you do to me?" i ask softly as my eyes got teary
she nods, "no. say it." i say in a firm tone.
she chuckles, "i am sorry for what i do or i wouldn't be saying it" she says
"you can say anything not mean it you know that right?" i ask
she shrugs. she doesn't care. my tears drop so i look down again, "hey mama why you crying?" she asks
i wipe my tears and sniffle, "leave me alone please" i say softly
"i wanna make you feel better i'm sorry if i made you cry baby" she says
"you're not sorry" i say softly
my door opens, "sorry i made you a burrito if you want anything else text me" d says
he pauses because i'm wiping my face. i heard him put the plate on my night stand, "what did you do to her?" d asks jules
"we were just talking and the whole drama between us and this other girl is getting to her" jules says
"did you make her cry?" d asks her
"i tried to ask she didn't answer me" jules lies
again. d sat at my feet he tilts his head down to meet my eyes. his face filled with concern, "hey talk to me what's going on?" d asks gently
i pick up my head to look at him i know my face is all red, "make her leave i want to be alone" i say softly
d looks at jules, "she wants you gone so.. leave." d says to her. i could tell her was trying to be as nice as possible but at the same time wanting to be a dick because she made me cry. this isn't the first time she's done this too which makes him mad. my family is concerned for me sometimes when i'm with her.
"ok.. i'm sorry again." jules says and we watched her leave my room. d got up to make sure she left the house and when he came back he sat back down.
"what's been going on between you guys? it's a repeated cycle she'll have you the happiest for weeks then you're crying over her about something.. y'all were so good for a long time" d says
i shake my head, "we haven't been all the time.. long distance was hard for me and yes she made a lot of effort to make me smile and happy and she's great to me just not all the time.. when there's drama between she manipulates me into believing everything is fine and that's happened 3 times this is the 3rd time all revolved around lily.." i say
"what are you saying? she's cheating on you with that lily girl?" d asks in a firm tone
i bat my eyes to keep myself from crying, "i don't know" i say as my voice cracks
d looks pissed off.
8:55 pm
~ jayden pov
i haven't talked to jules since she left she told me she's at the studio and that's it. i didn't respond or open it. i showered and did my whole night routine after i ate with my brother's. my parents are on the way home. i'm at my desk on instagram live. i've been talking about my life updates and asking for youtube videos.
"let's guest some people i'm bored" i say
i read a comment, "are you still friends with devenity after the fight? yes" i say
i read a comment, "did jules cheat on you lily?" i read
i shrug, "i'm mentally exhausted by everything she does" i say
i saw lilychee join my live and she put in a guest request. she commented 'guest me let's talk'. everyone was going crazy in the comments when she joined and commented that it kinda made me laugh a little😂. they getting popcorn.
i smile a little, "i'll guest lily for your guys's entertainment tonight.. i should make this a thing go live with someone everytime i go live" i say
i accept her request and she appears on the bottom half of my screen. she's got her phone set up so we can see her. she's literally so pretty and jules says their just friends.
"hey jayden" lily says
"hi" i say
"so i wanted to come on live with you to address something i promise we won't be arguing it's just a cool conversation i wanna get out about the drama and since we're both on we can say what we want about it to clear it up better without jules having a say right now" lily says
when she said jules's name she smiled a little. why? i nod, "go ahead" i say
i know people can tell i'm hurt already by the way i look so over it and sad a bit. the comments are comforting towards me but funny too.
"ok so that text was for jules we know this and... i never sent it to her yes i do like her but i respect you guys's relationship when jules came to me about her decision she told me she wants you so i stepped back respectfully and we agreed to distance ourselves for her relationship with you to grow.. i wasn't hit jules up at all after that talk we had she was hitting me up. whenever you guys were on a break or broken up yes we did hangout and we did do stuff together but i promise you i don't want her i see how she is she's not a great person to date i realize that.. i don't wanna put her on blast because i still do care about her and we're friends it's just safe to say that we did hookup here and there but not when she was with you" lily rants
"has she talked to you during the last 3 months?" i ask trying not to show emotion
lily hesitates and breaks into a smile. i knew it. i roll my eyes and got up to get out of the camera for a second, "she's texted me yeah but we didn't do anything i was shooting her down everytime she would flirt or ask to link" lily says
oh my fucking gosh. jules was really cheating on me this whole time i knew i wasn't stupid😀. she's so lucky the distance was there because i would've checked her phone, "there's no way you just said that" i say
i sat back down so they can see me, "so she was cheating on me while we were together" i say
"i wouldn't call it cheating because she never did anything but text me" lily says
"texting someone else is cheating especially someone she hooked up with" i say
lily chuckles, "well if that's cheating to you then i guess she did" she says
"did she ever tell you she liked you?" i ask
the comments are so bad right now everyone siding with me and mad at jules and lily now.
"she's told me a lot of stuff." lily says
"like?" i ask
"like that she loves me, wants to be with me and is in love with me." lily says
my heart is literally broken right now. i'm fighting the tears. i'm speechless. i'm just zoning out thinking.
"she never wanted me to tell you this but i had to tell you you deserve to know you've been with her this long nobody expected you to still be with her like even joey was siding with you he's experienced what she's doing to you too with the manipulation and lies it's not healthy and it's so bad that we did this on live i should've just dmed you for your number instead" lily says
i take a deep breath and my tears drop. i wipe them and look at lily, "it's ok bro appreciate you have a good night" i say as my voice shook. i end the live and exit instagram. i turn my phone off and go straight to bed crying myself to sleep. only love can hurt like this.