Note -Many readers were asking if this story will be finished or not?
My answer is Yes,This This story will be completed . I'll publish updates in my holidays.This book won't be completed like my previous books but all my books will be completed one by one.
Aamna
Last 1 month is really calmed for me.Life starts becoming peaceful,as me and Aamir , stopped speaking to each other.He stop annoying me and I am more than happy for it. Aamir isn't troubling me that doesn't mean there is nothing to worry about. Now the thing which is bothering me is upcoming Diwali vacations and mass bunk planned by fellow classmates. Except me ,all are eager to visit their parents .All of them are planning a 15 days mass bunk of classes. If that happens hostels will be empty and it would be difficult to stay here. Only good thing is, if there is 20 students who won't go for leave, kitchen will be functioning . I still have to manage 5 days official holidays. I can book a lodge / cheap hotel room but I dont know it will be safe or not. Paying guest system will be costly for me.
Days are passing and with it students are leaving hostel rooms. One by one rooms are locking. Regular hustle bustle is downing now.Tables in mess are mostly empty nowadays. Everything is turnig dull now .After Karuna's departure ,I am alone in room. Hallways are so silent that one can here drop of a needle.My footsteps are audible now as I am moving in corridor. One tubelight is shining in on /off mode. Cold winter wind touched my cheeks and I have folds my head to give warmth to myself. Its not easy to live alone in such a big building. Absense of people start giving it scary vibes. I opned my room's gate and lie down on bed.
Next week I have to leave this room and travel to my home. It gives pleasure to others but I don't have anything in my heart. I just have to stay there for 5 days and leave. I bet many options but a known danger is better than unknown challenges. If something unfortunate happens I don't have a support system to call. Its better to go home than other places.
I left the room as the official vacation started and board a bus to my hometown. After 6 hour long journey I have reached to the place ,I left behind. The place which played a significant role in forming my personality. My accent, mannerism,etiquettes all nurtured there. The place where my mother used to speak stories about Islamic legends,her childhood, our grand parents. Their farms and cattles.I think,my inclination towards gardening came from them.I loves spending time with plants.
So many memories are attached with that place.The place ,where my siblings,Iqra and Golu still lives there. In childhood Hussain has chubby cheeks and he was very healthy child. I used to pull his cheeks and tease him with name "Golu".I called him the same until that event.
Iqra,pearl of my eyes.I was 5 when she was born. I still cant forget when grandmother put her in my lap for the first time. She was very light in weight.Her eyes were closed ,she was sleeping.Her hands and legs were tiny and fingers is like brithday candels.She was so beautiful. I adored her and she became fond of me.
I was engrossed so much in my thoughts that I hadn't realised when we past Hisar and reached to Sirsa.Delhi influenced is gone and we are in the territory of rawness .
Sirsa is my home district. Father and I used to come here.whenever he come to the city for purchasing goods ,I demand to take me with him. Many times my demand were fulfilled, I roam with him in the street of this city. Some more time and I'll reach to my home town.
As we are reaching to my place ,sense of familiarity is coming now. I can tell which farm belongs to whom. Those small huts near farms and little inhabitants in farm land. As we are moving ,we are reaching towards densely populated part of the place.Bus stopped at bus stand and I climbed down from its Yesteryears , it was the placewhere I was eager to come, today its the place I hesitate to come.Time changed everything. I walk few meter straight and then turn into a narrow allway. Last house in the street was my home. I knocked the door. My father opened the door,it was a surprise for me as its work hours. His smile turned into frown after watching him. The lines of worry appeared on his forhead.I can feel ,I am not welcomed here.
"College and hostels is closed for five days for Diwali festival. I'll not stay not more than that ." I said calmly. He step sideways for me to enter in the house.
After four months, I have came here and this place looked the same with little changes here and there. Kitchen lights were on as it would be dinner time in a hour. Amma may be working in kitchen.In past I would have ran towards her and hugged her tightly. I headed towards my room and put my bag on the table. Iqra and me used to share this room until I left for hostel. All things were arranged neatly which isn't Iqra traits. I opened the windows and I coughed due to dust.I sit on bed and I feel it hadn't used for days.
"That's strange "I wondered.I fresh n up and then we sat on dastarkhan (mat) for food.In our house we prefer Dastarkhan over dining table. It keep us connected to earth when we seat on ground. I took few item in plate and start eating. Hussain and Iqra both werent present at the moment ,may be they went fo coaching classes. Amma was sitting infront of me ,she gained some weight and looks healthy and content now ,it relived me. Aftar that incident she stay remaing ill.Her poor mental health start affecting her physical health. We finished our meal quietly . I cleaned the kitchen and washed dishes. I went in room and felt asleep.
Early in the morning someone scremed in my room.
"Aapi ,Aamna Aapi " Husaain exclaimed in joy. Last night I slept early before his arrival. I sit down on my knees and extended my hands.He ran towards me and hugged me tightly. After months I felt warmth and joy. My eyes start becoming watery. Many things changed but my little brother's love remains same.In this months his height increases and weight decreased. He is moving towards teenage and after few year, he will become a handsome gentleman.
"Aapi ,I missed you so so much"
"I missed you too"
"But I am angry with you, you hadn't called once ,do you know...
"Hussain "Amma called her and he left.
I inquired about Iqra and Amma told that she went to visit our grand parents. This thing disappointed me .In my stay here ,I was looking forward to meet her. She was the person who gave me courage and support in that time .So many things I wanted to discuss her but.. may be next time.
Four days paased away ,today is fifth day,tomorrow I'll leave again. Today one of our neighbor came to meet Amma.
They were chit chatting in hall and decided to remains in my room. I opened a book and start reading it.
"Iqra's marriage functions...her word struck my ears and move towards door.I hide myself so nobody can see me.
"You people did great arrangement for Iqra. .Everyone is praising Shiraz. Allah made great pair of the two.They compliment each other in everysense."she keep speaking and my heart is breaking in pieces. Iqra my younger sister, my friend, my support system, my favorite person, got married without even telling me. Another thought came in my mind ,had they pressured her for marriage. Was she willing? Who is her husband?dozens of questions arises in my mind.I won't leave my parents if they had hurted my Iqra.
If she was forced I'll file case against them.I won't spare anyone.Anger was building in me.
The moment that lady left ,I stand infront of Amma.
"What is she speaking?"
"You heard it, huh."
"Amma please reply "
"You heard it right Iqra got married last month to Shiraz. He is a doctor and lives in Mumbai with his family. Your uncle brought the proposal. We are lucky that we had find such a match for her.He will keep her happy." She said with happiness.
"Give me proof ,I want to see the pictures "
Amma bought the pictures, their match is praiseworthy. She was looking so happy during wedding ceremony. The noor on her face while signing Nikah papers is on another level . My little sister got married with an ideal man. I felt a pang in my heart, I missed most important event of her life.Nobody informed me that such a good event is happening on my family.Everyone is invited except me.
"Why... my voice chocked due to overwhelming emotions.
"We hadn't need disgrace in her wedding.we hadn't need homebreaker woman .we hadn't need drama ..we don't. ...."my father stopped at the last line
"need me ...I completed ,I felt someone thrown me from the cliff or drowned me in the sea. Someone has thrown me under the bus.My fragile and broken heart break again. The pieces of earlier breakage start hurting more,old wounds opened and there is mkre pieces to bleed my hurt till the eternity. The hope of reconciliation is gone ,the hope of understanding my situation is gone,hope of standing with me is gone.People I belongs to ,doesn't belongs to me anymore. People who are standing inthe room,they are not the people who raised me with so much love. I can't identify this people who are they ?who is these stone hearted people ? I cant belongs to the people who are oblivious to their child's wellbeing. I feel I was abandoned .A child who is lost in the crowd of people.A child who lost her parents .That child doesnt know where to navigate from here. That child lost her everything today.
Last morning in the house is as usual. It is suffocating to live here ,I put some money in an envelop and left it on the table.I shouldnt burden people who despise me. I ate breakfast ,took my bag and opened the door to leave but Iqra and her husband is standing at the door step.
"Aapi " she said
"Hmm" I said , what's left to say her.She hadn't bothered to call me. She started new phase of her life.Most important event happened in her life and she not even told me.I wanted to shouted her ,why she did that to me.Am I irrelevant to her .why she hadn't have time for five minutes but... does it matter now? Is it right to ask questions to her ? Her new life is at inception stage ,one wrong move can spoil her life . I shouldn't do that. I shouldnt create a scene now.
"Please come inside ,you two are welcomed here" I said with a faint smile. I give them space to enter.I move inside with them. I make them seat on sofa in drawing room. Brought some water and refreshment for them. Chit chat with her husband .All basic formalitiesis completed ,now its time to leave.
"Aapi ,I need to talk to you" she came behind me.
"Its an urgent talk ?" I aksed to her
"No,it not an urgent or emergency thing but I need to say something before some missunderstanding happened."
"Speak"
"Aapi ,if you are thinking that I wasnt willing to invite you in my marrige than its not true.I wanted to but Abba &Amma said its not good move.There is chances that Ibrahim would create some drama if you would have come here.It would be troublesome for everyone. My alliance could be broken .it would be shameful moment for our family. We decided to inform you ,in person when you come home ,that's why I came from Mumbai. Don't think otherwise. "
"Okay " I said and left that place but thoughts doesn't leave me.
"You could have called me and explained me everything. I hadn't come because for me your happiness matters the most but...
You hadn't called once."I mumbled.