"I need your help." Elena stated once River answered the phone.
"Is this another self-sacrifice attempt?" River questioned skeptically.
"How quickly can you get to the Lockwood mansion?" Elena asked ignoring River's question.
"Depends." River started, "How urgent is it?"
"Quite." Elena said as she diverted her eyes uncomfortably from the man in her passenger seat.
"So is that a yes or no on me stopping for coffee?" River asked as she checked in the mirror if the outfit she was currently wearing was socially acceptable.
"River." Elena warned.
"I'm serious." River said, "I have had no caffeine today so I have practically no personality right now." Elena then turned to Elijah for guidance, not entirely sure of how urgent it was for River to get to the Lockwood mansion seeing as they weren't even there yet.
"Make it quick." Elena stated once she translated Elijah's short nod.
"I'll be there in twenty minutes." River uttered as she began tightening the laces of the shoes she had just put on.
"Don't be late." Elena warned before hanging up and handing her phone to Elijah who was holding out his hand expectantly, "Why are you bringing River into this?"
"The requirement for me to answer your questions honestly has expired, Elena." Elijah stated, "Don't test my patience."
-----
"Elena" River called out as she passed the front door of the Lockwood mansion which had been left open.
"Right here." Elena responded as she walked into view. "River here's the thing-"
"Nah-uh." River said, cutting off her sip of coffee, "Elena you know I love you so much and you are my best friend but I'm recharging my personality right now. I am here without being late so we can talk once I am recharged and my brain can actually comprehend what you are saying."
"River." Elijah acknowledged as he walked down the stairs.
I- uh- oh... WHAT THE FUCK?
"Elijah." River greeted, her mind still trying to catch up with all of the information she had just received. "You're looking less dead than you were-" River started before cutting herself off. "Wait when did you guys dagger him?" River whisper-shouted to Elena before recalling that Elijah could hear her and deciding it was best to guess. "Let's go with a few days ago."
"Thank you." Elijah stated, not entirely sure whether her comment was a compliment or not. "Shall we?" He said, gesturing room next to them.
Yes zaddy.
River then followed Elena into the room Elijah had gestured to. Once River was in front of him, Elijah came up behind her, his hand hovering over the small of her back as he guided her to the couch in the room.
"So I assume the Martin witches are no longer with us." Elijah began as he and River sat down next to each other on the couch, Elena on the seat next to them.
"I'm sorry." Elena apologized.
"And Katerina." Elijah continued, "She would have been released of my compulsion when I died."
*insert nervous laughter*
about that-
"Klaus took her." Elena explained, "We think that she may be dead."
SINCE WHEN?
"I doubt that." Elijah said, "Not Klaus' style. Death would be too easy for her after what she did."
"I don't understand. You say that you want Klaus dead but you still made Katherine pay for betraying him." Elena stated.
"I have my own reasons for wanting Katerina to pay." Elijah alluded.
So they've fucked-
"There was a time when I would have done anything for Klaus." Elijah said as he trailed off into a story about when Katherine was still human. "Yes, Klaus is my brother."
fratricide, refreshing.
"I heard that." Elena said, "I'm still processing."
"Yes I'm a little behind on the times but I believe the term you are searching for is O.M.G." Elijah said, too nonchalantly for River to take him seriously.
-----
"There's a whole family of Originals?" Elena questioned as Elijah continued the story of his past.
"Yes, my father was a wealthy landowner in a village in Eastern Europe." Elijah explained.
Sugar daddy.
"Our mother bore seven children." Elijah continued causing River's uterus to cringe at the thought.
I get that periods can sync... but can the empathy of child-birthing-pains sync?
"So your parents were human?" Elena questioned.
no.
they were mermaids.
* h2o theme song begins playing*
"Our whole family was." Elijah stated, "Our origin as vampires is a very long story, Elena. Just know, we're the oldest vampires in the world. We are the Original Family and from us all vampires were created."
Ultimate daddies.
"Right, but Klaus is your brother." Elena enunciated, emphasizing the word brother, "And you want him dead?"
"I need some air." Elijah began, changing the subject, "Still feeling a tad... dead."
-----
"Klaus and I faked the Sun and Moon curse dating back over a thousand years." Elijah said.
"But if there's no curse-" Elena started but was cut off by Elijah.
"There is a curse." Elijah reassured, "Just not that one."
Elijah slowly but surely losing his patience with Elena is so funny to me-
I mean...
I love you Elena.
"The real one is much worse. It's a curse placed on Klaus." Elijah continued.
"What are you talking about?" Elena asked.
"Klaus has been trying to break it for the last thousand years and you are his only hope."
"Well, what is this curse?" Elena persisted.
"Your phone will not stop this incessant buzzing," Elijah started, changing the topic again, "Answer it, please."
"Stefan-" Elena tried but quickly cut herself off. "What's wrong?" Elena asked.
It's times like these I wish I had supernatural hearing.
"No, no, no. I-" Elena began, "Okay, I'll be right there."
Heh?
"Klaus went after Jenna." Elena explained once she ended the phone call as though Elijah hadn't just listened to that entire conversation, "I have to go to her."
"I'm afraid that wasn't a part of today's arrangement." Elijah countered.
"She's my family, Elijah. I have to." Elena tried to reason.
Considering he's trying to kill his brother-
"I'll be back." Elena promised, "I give you my word."
"That doesn't mean anything to me until you live up to it." Elijah stated.
"Thank you." Elena said before grabbing River's wrist and leading her back towards the mansion.
"Wait." Elijah tsked as he wrapped his hand around River's other wrist, tight enough to stop Elena, loose enough to not hurt River. "You said that you needed to go to your family and that you would return. You made no mention of River. She will be staying with me."
In a sex dungeon- I NEED HOLY WATER-
"Consider it insurance that you will return." Elijah continued as he tugged gently on River's wrist, pulling her back towards him. Elena reluctantly looked between River and Elijah.
Is she actually going to leave me?
"I'll be back." Elena repeated before leaving them.
*disbelief.
Once Elena was out of sight, River had a goldfish moment, her mouth opening before closing again as she thought of how to make this situation less awkward.
"Come with me." Elijah encouraged as he moved his arm to hover over her back again.
"Where are we going?" River questioned as she followed his guide.
"Inside." Elijah answered simply.
Well that was an awfully underwhelming response.