(3 months later)
"She is my best friend, and right or not, she was there when you weren't."- Cristina Yang, Grey's Anatomy.
A hectic life, full of pressure, rushing, and tiredness. Welcome to the world of music.
We were back on the road in June. Afterward, we had almost no days to rest, and we took advantage of the free days to go to the studio. Traveling, packing, traveling, more packing. That's been my life lately.
Being without my airport and playmate made me strange this routine again. She made everything okay when I was nervous and was the only one who could console me. Unfortunately, after Eurovision, she was never the same again, after the health problems...
But, great news had arrived: another invitation. To the Royal Albert Hall. On August 30, we would be playing at that concert hall. Without Victoria.
When I heard that she supposedly wouldn't be able to play, I was beside myself. Everyone knew how much she was looking forward to it, especially me. I spoke to the band manager, and he said there was nothing he could do about it. The medical statement was still valid, and it couldn't be changed. I mean, maybe it could.
I went to the clinic that she used to go to, trying to talk to her therapist and psychiatrist. Both told me things like "Victoria might need a few more weeks, she's not completely stable". I found out indirectly that she had recently been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress, which was supposedly the reason for the prolonged recovery. I was determined not to leave that office until I got what I wanted. I talked a lot with them until we reached a consensus. Vic would be able to do the shows. However, she had to have a supervisor of her behavior most of the time. And I was "chosen" to be that person. In other words, I would have to watch her and be very careful with the way I would deal with her crises. A paper was issued that Vic's doctors had to sign so that she could leave the country, as long as she was assured that it was safe to do so. That wasn't just a piece of paper, it was almost a Bible. Authorizations from the psychiatrist, the pneumologist, the cardiologist, and many more that I can't even count.
All I know is that, at the end of the day, I had all these papers signed, with only one signature missing. Vic's. After 2 minutes of a slightly tense conversation between her and me on the mobile phone, she told me she was home, just finishing her shower. Soon after, I grabbed my car and tried to find a quick way to her flat. I was listening to Dreams by Fleetwood Mac at full volume while watching the beauty of the city on a simple late afternoon. I kept thinking all the way home about what to say, how to use the right words because I knew that when I was nervous I made some miscommunications. The unbearable negativity bug that always lives in my head started to give me the idea that I was doing something senseless, that I had crossed the limits. For minutes, I thought of turning back and simply telling her that I had run into traffic on the way. But no, I didn't. By the time I reached the door of her building, it was almost night. The temperature had dropped slightly, but the building itself was a little cozy warm. I got on the lift and looked at myself in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes were getting deeper with each passing day because I didn't rest well. I spent countless sleepless nights, unable to sleep. Even my therapist didn't have a very satisfactory answer on the subject, because I had suffered from the same thing other times. What I hadn't told any of my therapists was that I was mourning the "children" I had lost. I mean, they were embryos. We had the news of the pregnancy 2 months before Vic left the hospital, and I was at the height of my happiness at that moment, because during so much darkness, a light appeared. Nothing was planned, it was completely by accident. But in one of the first ultrasounds, they didn't detect any heartbeat. There, our fertility journey had begun, seeking answers to what happened, and why we couldn't get pregnant. After many consultations, tests, and examinations, we discovered that we were both practically sterile. Because of her chronic illness, part of Gio's reproductive system had been compromised, which didn't help matters, not to mention the fact that she was suffering greatly from that process. As for me, nothing was clear.
And yes, I remembered all of that while I was 15 seconds into a simple lift. Tears came to my eyes, but I wiped them away with the sleeve of my sweater and went on my way as the door opened.
Her flat is right in front of the lift. That helped on days when she got drunk because it was easier to get her home. She now had a new carpet, dark blue, with some Chilli hair on it. I called her to open the door for me, and just then the door opened. There she was, with a solid facial expression and wearing her favorite sweater, and with a towel on her head.
"Damiano, you're not well, right?"
"You know me better than anyone, Vitto.", I said. Just then, her arms wrapped around my torso to hug me. It's amazing how our friendship can be so intense. Sometimes when we fight we don't speak for days, but other times we put our pride aside and pretend that nothing happened.
I like it when Vic hugs me. It reminds me of a child hugging a giant bear or his parents. The warmth of her hug can sometimes even make it seem like everything is okay.
"You can come in, he's not home today.", she said, letting me go.
The atmosphere in her house was completely calm. The furniture was arranged in slightly different ways from the last time I'd been in the place, and the space was brighter.
"Dami, do you want to talk about what you're feeling, or do you want to stay like this with me?"
"I don't want to talk about what happened, please. ", I said. With a glass of water in one hand and the other on my spine, she led me into the living room.
"What are all these books on the table, Vic?"
" You can open them if you want."
"These... these are manuals on geometry, drawing, and art history. What are you up to this time, de Angelis?"
"I'm going to take my chances."
"Is that really what I think it is? You're applying to college?"
"Yes, sir."
" In what field? Don't tell me it's music."
"I thought you'd come to the right conclusion faster, but okay..."
"Arts?"
"No, but that was closer. Design."
"Wow Vic, congratulations! That's good."
"Yeah, but I don't have the subjects. We both know I finished school a few years ago. I'm teaching myself all this."
"And do you know if you'll be able to study if we eventually go back with you on tour?"
"I will. I don't know when, but I will, but after I know all the material. So, what brought you here? Was it something else or were you already like this?"
"It wasn't that. So... I don't know how to tell you this, but... We've received another invitation to perform at the Royal Albert Hall.", I said, pausing my sentence. "on August 30th. And your layoff ends on September 5. And it turns out... maybe I ran after your doctors and made them sign this, all of it.", I showed her the sheets. "The point of all this is that, with this ton of paperwork, you can leave the country."
There was a huge silence in that flat. She stared for minutes at the papers until she said something.
"Damiano, this is too much. You're crazy.", she said, surprised ."So you mean that during these five days I can only leave the country with you?"
"You are very good at concluding."
"And I only have to... sign?"
"Yes, all that's missing is yours."
She took one of the pens that were on top of the notebooks and made her best signature on all those papers. When she finished signing everything, the sparkle in her eyes widened, even getting wet.
"Dami... after that, I feel like kissing you. That is so crazy amazing."
What... what had she just said? Well...I blocked it out for a few light seconds, wondering what she was going to say. I looked her in the eye until she looked back at me.
"For God's sake, I didn't mean it in the way you understood it."
"Yeah, right..."
We were silent for a while. The embarrassment had taken up all the space. How could I have been so stupid?
-
hi guys!
the next 3 chapters will document Måneskin's journey in London UK, to prepare the concert that precedes their world tour.
Also, my already known fanfiction Good Girl - Damiano David got an english version that will be updated every week! I hope some of you will like it :)
if you're able please vote on the chapter, it really means a lot for me♡
tks for reading,
mel.