Here's the 76th chapter.
Enjoy reading.
After college, Anokhi had returned home.
She couldn't get "Laddoo" out of her mind ever since she found out who he was. Though she had classes after the break, her mind would occasionally return to the same matter of Shaurya Sir being "Laddoo" during the lecture.
She had a slew of questions in her head that she could only get answered by Mimi.
She and her baby girl ate their lunch at home, then she washed the dishes and sat down to finish her study work, not before putting Mimi down for her evening nap.
She finished her work in one to two hours and decided to call her Aastha Mam, who had returned to her rental apartment today, as she was now in a better state of mind. She had guest lectures scheduled starting today and lasting for the next two days, after which she would return back to Kapurthala.
She called Aastha and asked how her first day of lecture went, if she had her food, and if she was all okay there.
After conversing with her for some time, she hung up the call and just then, she saw her Shona waking up by rubbing her eyes cutely.
She approached her and sat next to her, caressing her hair.
"Good molning Mumma...", Mimi yawned.
Anokhi chuckled as she listened and said, "Shona..."
"Abhi toh shaam hui hai..."
Mimi fluttered her eyes open and looked around as she listened. The sunset through the window made her realize it was evening, and she herself giggled up.
"Ohh..."
"Main toh bhool hi gayi thi Mumma... He he he...", she guffawed.
"Koi baat nhi Shona..."
"Ab chalo thoda fresh hokar aate hai...", saying so, Anokhi took her in her arms and carried her to the bathroom to wash her face with cold water.
After that, Anokhi and Mimi returned to the bed. Anokhi sat her down on the bed and lovingly ruffled her hair to set it.
Now that she was free, she decided to ask Mimi about the matter which still remained unsettled within her.
"Mimi Shona..."
"Aapse ek baat poochhu...", she inquired lovingly.
"Haaaaaaan..."
"Poochho Mumma...", Mimi replied sweetly.
"Aapne aaj mujhe Laddoo se milvaaya tha naa... Toh main aapse jaanna chaahti thi ki Laddoo aapse kaha mile the ?..."
"Matlab aap unhe kaise jaante ho Shona ?...", she queried, wanting to know how long they had known each other since she hadn't got any hint of it until today.
"Laddoo ko...", Mimi got into deep thinking.
"Yaad aaya !...", something clicked Mimi's mind.
"Kya yaad aaya Shona ?...", Anokhi asked intrigued.
"Mumma..."
"Jichh din aap muje chhab chhe (sab se) pehli baal (baar) college leke gaye the naa... Uchhi din muje Laddoo mile the..."
Anokhi's mind wandered back to the first time she visited SIEST as she listened to this. After pressurizing her mind, she remembered Mimi helping someone whose handkerchief had fallen on the way, and she had named the person "Laddoo", but the person had left her in the middle of a conversation for some reason.
She realized now that the person Mimi had helped and referred to as "Laddoo" was none other than Shaurya Sir.
"Oh..."
"Achcha..."
"Toh aap tabse Laddoo ko jaante ho Mimi..."
"Haan Mumma..."
"Uchh din vo muje chholkal (chodkar) chale gaye the aul muje lga tha ki chhaayad maine unhe Laddoo bulaaya tha ichhliye vo guchha ho gaye the..."
"Pal fil doochhli baal jab vo mujchhe mile the naa... Tab unhone muje btaaya tha ki vo muj chhe bilkul bhi naalaaj nhi the... Aul unko Laddoo naam bhi bohot pachhand aaya tha Mumma..."
"Uchh din ke baad chhe main humechha unhe Laddoo hi bulaati hoon...", Mimi detailed her first encounters with Laddoo.
Anokhi smiled softly as she watched her daughter adoring her Laddoo, and she had no idea it was her Mumma's Professor.
"Mumma..."
"Laddoo toh bohot achche hai..."
"Vo apna plomish humechaa nibhaate hai... Vo loj muj chhe milne aate hai aul muje apne chhaath apne ghal (ghar) bhi le jaate hain Mumma... ", Mimi admired her Laddoo.
"Ghar le jaate hain ?...", Anokhi's brows scrunched.
"Haan Mumma..."
"Vo apne ghal mein akele hi lehte hai... Vha bohot chhaali kitaabe bhi hoti hain maine dekha hai... Aul vo vha apna homevalk (homework) bhi kalte hai baithke..."
Anokhi slowly deciphered her words and concluded that Mimi might have been talking about his cabin, but her eyes widened in surprise realizing that he used to take Mimi with him every day to his cabin and she never got to know about it. She wanted to know his purpose behind it.
"Mimi..."
"Laddoo aapko roz unke cabin-... Matlab apne ghar le jaate hai ?..."
"Har roz ?!...", she exclaimed, astonished.
"Haan loj Mumma...", Mimi answered.
"Lekin Shona... Vo aapko roz apne ghar le jaate the... Par yeh baat toh aapne mujhe kabhi nhi btaayi Shona... Aur main toh jab bhi aapko lene aati hoon tab aap Pinni Aunty ke paas hi hote ho... Toh fir Laddoo ke saath aap kab jaate ho Mimi ?...", she couldn't understand how Mimi used to accompany him every day and she never told her about it.
Mimi realized as she listened to her Anumaa that she had never informed her Anumaa about Laddoo taking her to his home with him as her Anumaa had told her not to go outside the kitchen.
"Mumma..."
"Voh..."
"Jab aap mujhe dopahel (dopaher) ko milne aate ho... Uchhke baad Laddoo bhi muj chhe milne aate hai... Aul fil muje apne chhath apne ghal le jaate hai... Aul fil vo muj chhe dhel chhaali (dher saari) baatein bhi kalte hai... Aul fil main unko kaam kalte hue bhi dekhti hoon..."
"Aul jab aapki chhutti hone vaali hoti hai Mumma... Uchh chhe pehle Laddoo muje dobaala Pinny Aunty ke paachh chhol (chod) aate hai..."
"Lekin main aapko yeh baat btaana bhool gayi Mumma..."
"Chholly Mumma...", Mimi felt so sorry that she hadn't told Anumaa about it.
Anokhi caressed her face and said, "Kya hua Mimi Shona..."
"Aap sorry kyu bol rhe ho ?...", she asked gently.
"Mumma..."
"Aapne muje kitchen chhe baahal jaane chhe mana kiya tha naa... Lekin main Laddo ke chhaath unke ghal jaati thi... Aul aapko yeh baat btaana bhi bhool gayi Mumma... Ichhliye bala (bada) vaala chholly Mumma...", she said, her face sad.
Anokhi's heart melted as she listened, and she cupped her face, saying, "Mimi..."
"Aapko pta haina..."
"Mumma aapse bohot pyaar karti hai... Isliye maine aapko mana kiya tha ki aap kahi baahar mat jaana... Kyunki agar Shona ko kuch ho gaya toh Mumma ka kya hoga beta...", she said, cradling her face.
"Main dobaala fil kabhi aichha nhi kalungi Mumma..."
"Pkka vaala pinky vaala plomish Mumma...", Mimi said as she hugged Anumaa, sincerely promising her.
Anokhi smiled and stroked her back that her little girl understood what she meant to say.
"Achcha Mimi..."
"Aap ek aur baat btaao..."
"Aap Laddoo se dher saari baatein karte the... Toh aap Anumaa ko bhi thoda sa btaaoge ki aap dono kya baatein karte the ?...", she was wondering as to why Shaurya Sir was so attached to her Shona.
"Laddoo ke chhaath toh bohot chhaali baatein hoti thi Mumma..."
"Maine unko aapke bale mein bhi btaaya tha... Aap muj chhe bohot pyaal kalte ho... Aul main bhi aap chhe bohot pyaal kalti hoon..."
Anokhi sat quietly and listened to her. She thought it was strange that she and Shaurya Sir both knew each other but were still unknown to each other.
"Aul aapko yaad hai Mumma..."
"Ek baal (baar) maine aap chhe poochha tha unke Mumma ke baale mein... "
"Laddoo ne muje btaaya tha ki unki Mumma unke chhaath nhi lehti... Un chhe dool (door) lehti hai... Aul ichhliye Laddoo ko lgta tha ki chhaayad unki Mumma un chhe pyaal nayi kalti..."
"Lekin fil aapne muje btaaya tha naa Mumma... Jo hum chhe pyaal kalte hai vo kitne bhi dool ho... Unka pyaal kabhi kam nhi hota..."
"Maine bhi yeh baat Laddoo ko btaaya tha Mumma..."
"Vo bhi apni Mumma chhe bohot pyaal kalte hai Mumma jaichhe main aap chhe kalti hoon..."
"Aul aapko pta hai... Unko uchh din unki Mumma ki bohot yaad aa lahi thi... Aul fil vo lo (ro) bhi lahe the..."
Anokhi, who had been quietly listening to Shona's every word until now, felt her heart sink as she heard Shaurya Sir cry in front of her Mimi, that too remembering Aastha Mam.
She was thinking how strange it was that Mimi had no idea that her Laddoo's mother was none other than her beloved "Kulfi", but her attention had now shifted to Shaurya Sir after hearing from Mimi that he had cried in front of her. It started to dawn on her that what he showcased on the outside was the "contrary" of what Mimi had said.
He always spoke against Aastha Mam in front of her, always showed how much he disliked her, but in front of Mimi, he couldn't keep his inner child caged, and it eventually emerged out in front of her innocent baby girl that he YEARNED for his mother as much as any other child.
She felt extremely shocked wondering what must have been the extent of his mental anguish that he could no more keep it within himself and had to let it all out in front of her baby girl. Just imagining the pain and grief with which he would have spoken those words to her baby girl made her eyes wet.
Her hatred for him aside, she can't be inhumane and not be saddened by someone else's emotional pain.
She was really sad now, realizing that she always used to quip him for his hostility for Aastha Mam, but she never got the impression that he was trying to HIDE his emotions and HURTING himself by speaking about his mother in that way.
The fact that he shared his sorrow with her little girl made her heart ache as she imagined what he must had gone through that his overflowing feelings prompted him to let his painful emotions out in front of a baby girl he had only met a few days before, implying that he had no one else with whom he could share his emotional trauma. This showed how depressed he was, and it made her very upset.
She swallowed her tears and looked at Mimi to learn more about Laddoo, because she had discovered that Shaurya sir was a person with two faces camouflaged behind a mask. Though her wrath at him had not settled down and NOR IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN EVER, but she just wanted to know a little more about this person who had his true self concealed behind a shroud.
"Mimi..."
"Aap Laddoo ko itne dino se jaante ho..."
"Aapko unse milne ka intezaar bhi karte ho roz..."
"Aapko itna achcha lagta hai unse milna... Unse baatein karna ?..."
"Haan Mumma..."
"Muje bohot achcha lgta hai Laddoo chhe milna aul un chhe baatein kalna..."
"Vo bohot achche hai..."
"Aul muj chhe bohot pyaal bhi kalte hai..."
Anokhi looked at her taken aback.
"Aapko yaad hai Mumma... Mele pail (pair) mein jab chot lagi thi tab unhone muje apne magic chhe theek kal diya tha..."
Anokhi was reminded of the day her Shona injured her knee by brushing against a nail by mistake, and how when she went to the kitchen to pick up Mimi, she discovered her knee wrapped in a bandage. Shaurya Sir had actually aided her Shona that day, she came to the realization now.
"Aul bhi bohot chhaali baatein hai Mumma..."
"Vo jo kitchen ke baahal gamle hai naa... Uchh mein chhundal – chhundal phool lage hain... "
"Laddoo ne muje un phoolo ke naam bhi chhikaaye the... Jaichhe hee - bee - chh - kuchh (hibiscus)... Aul maliegold (mariegold)... Aul butttelfly (butterfly) ke baale mein bhi thola chha btaaya tha...", Mimi said smiling at how much she had learned from her Laddoo.
Anokhi listened peacefully to her Shona's words. She ascertained that Shaurya Sir used to impart her baby girl knowledgeable things also, during their meet ups.
She was becoming more and more surprised with the words being conveyed by her daughter about her "Laddoo". Whatever Mimi said about him made him seem like such a simple, good-hearted man, but was he really like that or was it just for her daughter was a BIG QUESTION in her mind.
"Aul ek aul baat Mumma..."
"Laddoo mela humechha bohot khyaal lakhte hain..."
"Jab aap mele chhaath hote ho toh aap mela haath kabhi nayi chholte... Vaichhe hi Laddoo bhi jab muje kitchen chhe baahal lekal jaate hain... Vo bhi mela haath kabhi nayi chholte..."
"Vo muje jab apne ghal le jaa lahe hote hain tab mela haath pakal ke lakhte hain nayi toh main gum (ghum) ho jaaungi...", she said innocently.
"Vo chhach (sach) mein bohot achche hai Mumma..."
"Mele pyaale Laddoo hai vo..."
"Bilkul Laddoo ki talah chhweet (sweet) hai vo...", Mimi said cheerfully, smiling.
Anokhi was simply staring at her Shona in daze.
She was still reeling from the revelation of Laddoo's true identity.
Every word Mimi said made her wonder if it was really about Shaurya Sir, because the way she described Laddoo clearly depicted him as a simple good human, but it was just in the eyes of Mimi, not in the eyes of others.
Anokhi had realized that Shaurya Sir had two sides, one of which was unknown to the outside world and the other was somewhat like a mask. She had derived from Mimi's words that he was dealing with some kind of despair that he hadn't been able to share with anyone except her Shona until now. She was gradually gaining insight into the reasons for his frequent outbursts of rage on her.
But none of this could make her forget his misdeed since what he did to her was indelible, and no explanation in the world could ever justify his actions in any way.
On the one hand, she was upset with him for humiliating her that day, and on the other hand, she was deeply saddened to learn of his misery today.
She had decoded today that what he displayed on the outside wasn't all, and that there was more to it that he never let anyone sense.
She had come to know that in front of the rest of the world, he was one type of man, but in front of her baby girl, he was another, who was akin to his inner true self.
After reaching this point, her mind was now jumbled up with uncertainty and contradictory thoughts due to the person who had different sides for different people.
The person with SIDES THAT DIFFER had taken over her mind.
She couldn't decide which "side" of him to BELIEVE...
It was dinnertime, and all of the Sabharwals were seated at the dining table with their plates on.
It was time for the "first batch", which consisted of males.
Kanchan was serving Alok when her gaze was drawn to Shaurya, who was seated right in front of her. Her brows furrowed as she observed his expression and the act he was performing. He wasn't eating, but was just moving the spoon around in his plate, lost in thought.
Although she had known from his attitude for a few days that he was deeply affected by what had happened between him and Shaan, Aastha, and Anokhi, but his behavior today seemed more worrisome.
His face was dull, his eyes were moist but not clearly visible due to the glasses, and his demeanor was quiet as usual.
He was like an elder brother to her, and she reasoned that since she had often succeeded in lifting his mood in times of distress, why not try it again today ?
She was well aware that he was not the type of person to openly express his feelings, or lets anyone to sense what was going on inside him, but she hoped that even if he did not share anything, she would at the very least try to lighten his mood with her antics.
She walked over to Gayatri and stood with her, waiting for the Sabharwal men to complete their meal.
He was sitting leaning against the wall near the window, in the cusp of cool air.
Her thoughts had taken over his mind.
He was still unable to come to terms with the revelation of who Anumaa was. Since the time he had come to know about it, he had felt only one emotion: a stupendous mixture of guilt, regret, shame, and agonizing grief.
He was so overcome with emotion during today's break that he didn't even return to his "princess" to bring her to his cabin, as he did every day, because his conscience ridiculed him.
He couldn't muster the guts to confront his princess, whose love for him he had unknowingly offended.
He was now reminiscing about the first time he saw his princess. He remembered being on his way to class when he felt a tug at his knees, and upon turning around, he was surprised to see the little girl for the first time in college. Following that, she had extended her small hands towards him to return him his handkerchief which had fallen down oblivious to him. He had then taken it from her grasp and thanked her, referring to her as "Princess", to which she had ecstatically replied that it was indeed one of her names.
He remembered how, after hearing the word "Laddoo" from her for the first time, he had left her on the way, unable to handle his crestfallen heart. He had become so emotional after hearing his long - awaited name that he had to leave the conversation midway to keep his façade from falling to pieces.
He faintly smiled now, remembering how he had craved to see her again after that day, and when it happened, she had come to refer to him always as "Laddoo" after that, and he had no resentment to it, as hearing that name from her always warmed his heart.
Reminiscing about his own encounters with his princess had now moved him to tears.
It seemed unbelievable to him now that the little girl he met that day was the daughter of the woman he had been hurting for days with his frequent clashes with her, and he had had no inkling of it for months.
Every passing second made him feel more guilty, as he was gradually coming to terms with the reality.
He remembered the first time he took his princess to his cabin; she had assumed it was his home and had casually asked him where his mother was, which had made him emotional and he had even started crying.
"Aap peeshh fil chhe kabhi lona mat Laddoo..."
"Mimi ko bilkul bi achcha nayi lagta jab koi lota hai...", she instructed him.
"Plomish kalo muje...", she said, extending her small palm.
Shaurya took a look at her, then at her palm.
"Kalo na peeshh...", Mimi requested with puppy eyes.
What could he do now ?
He can't say no to his little princess.
He had no choice but to comply with her request, so he took a deep breath and placed his large palm over her small one.
Mimi's face lit up as soon as he placed his palm over hers.
"Yayyyyyy..."
"Yeh hui naa good boy vaali baat...", she patted his head cutely.
"Aap bohot pyaare ho Mimi..."
"Aap kitne achche ho..."
"Mujhe bhi thoda sa sikhaaoge apne jaise banna...", he requested cutely. His inner child has surfaced to some extent.
"Fil toh aapko meli Mumma ke paachh jaana hoga Laddoo...", she said smiling.
"Mumma ke paas ?..."
"Kyun ?..."
"Kyunki meli Mumma ne hi muje good gal banna chhikhaaya hai..."
"Main apni Mumma chhe bohooooot pyaal kalti hoon... Aap bhi kabhi milna unchhe...", she smiled.
A tear drop slid down his cheek as he realized the princess, whom he greatly admired for being endowed with such good human qualities at such a young age, was raised by the woman whose character he had ruthlessly ASSASINATED.
His own conscience rebuked him brutally for doing such an oxymoronic thing.
He felt awful about being at odds with his princess's mother from the start, recalling those times when he and Anokhi had argued vehemently, and he had always accused her of being there not for studies, but on the instruction of her Aastha Mam so that she could be back in their lives. His own self-rebuke made him realize that she was only there for studies and her daughter, not for the things he had wrongfully accused her of.
As all of his encounters and scuffles with his princess's mother flashed through his mind, he was filled with self-hatred.
Every time he accused her of sequestering his father in her and Aastha Mam's trap, or spoke vile words against her to make her feel low, and that she didn't even deserve to be there in SIEST, recalling all these, he felt more and more remorseful.
Every time he told her that her efforts weren't worth it, every time he condemned her for interfering in their lives, every time he treated her rudely, just because she was his mother's student was now making his conscience vilify him harshly.
His mind flashed back to the day he told her that if she didn't show up for the upcoming tests, he would withdraw her scholarship because she had already missed one. He remembered her pleading that day that she had an emergency the day before that prevented her from writing the test, but instead of believing her, he accused her of lying and that it was all pre-planned.
He felt ashamed that the woman who worked and studied so hard to manage everything on her own, he was "threatening" to take away her scholarship, which was her primary source of funds to keep going her studies.
He felt extremely repentant as he was menacing to snatch away her scholarship, without knowing how hard she had to struggle and how much work she had to do just to sustain herself and her daughter.
Her scholarship was her major source of education spending, and he was putting it in jeopardy because of his wrong assumptions about her, which enraged him at himself.
He felt terrible thinking about how hurt she might have felt by being afraid of his "threat" because if her scholarship would had been withdrawn, she would have had to find other sources of income to support herself and her daughter.
He was furious with himself because of how much he had hurt her.
One by one, every incident when he misbehaved with her was flashing through his mind making him more and more contrite with it.
He then realized that it was the same woman's daughter whom he yearned to meet as soon as possible whenever he was in a foul mood because of his tussle with that woman.
Realization dawned upon him that on the one hand, he used to hurt her Anumaa, and on the other, he used to go to meet her to lighten his gloomy mood brought on by the spat with her Anumaa.
He realized what a strange creature on Earth he was.
Furthermore, he felt extremely vulnerable after realizing that he had pointed a finger at the character of that woman who had been molested by someone. He had committed this heinous act while she was going through the trauma of being sexually harassed by someone, adding to her depressing state.
He realized what a terrible human he was for doing such an unforgivable deed. His heart ached with pain as he realized how she would have dealt with the horrible event and her baby girl on her own. It would have been extremely difficult for her to cope with the mental and physical trauma while also looking after her baby girl, "his princess" all alone.
He felt deeply blameworthy that he had made her more fragile with his insulting comments while she was going through such a miserable condition and was trying to recover from it, and this bitter realization was jabbing him.
He sighed vehemently thinking that he had amassed a massive baggage of his guilt, which he himself didn't know how he was going to carry and live on with it.
He was just thinking about what he needed to do right now, and how he was going to confront them the next day.
He knew he couldn't stay away from his princess for long, nor could he gather the courage to face her. He was torn between what to do, what he would do, and whether he would ever be forgiven for what he had done.
Tears were still in his eyes, and he wanted to talk to someone about it so that he could at least feel some momentary relief by sharing his grief, but he didn't even have anyone to share his sentiments with.
And, by the way, he wasn't the type of person who knew how to express himself in front of anyone, except his princess till now.
"Shaurya Bhaiya...", came the voice, and he blinked away his tears and put on his façade, realizing who it was.
When he turned around, he saw Kanchan standing there. He stood up and sighed softly to calm himself.
"Kanchan..."
"Aao naa...", he said, trying to sound normal.
Kanchan walked into the room, approached him, and handed him the coffee mug.
He glanced at her hand, then back at her. With a faint smile on his face, he reached out to take the mug.
"Thanks Kanchan...", he said as he took it.
"Itni si coffee ke liye thanks ki kya zaroorat hai Bhaiya...", Kanchan said, recognizing the fake smile.
"Voh... Actually mujhe abhi isi ki zaroorat thi... Aur mere bina kahe hi mujhe mil gayi toh isliye...", he said.
She smiled as he took a sip.
She decided that now was the time to ask about the matter that had been bothering him.
"Vaise Shaurya Bhaiya..."
"Ek baat poochhu ?...", she asked.
"Haan poochho Kanchan..."
"Bhaiya..."
"Dekhiye... Main jaanti hoon ki aap kisi baat ko lekar pareshaan hai..."
As soon as he heard it, the mug came to a halt near his mouth.
"Pareshaan ?...", he spoke up.
"Nhi... Nhi toh..."
"Aisi baat nhi hai Kanchan...", he said, trying to sound persuading.
"Bhaiya...", she said, looking into his eyes, knowing he was lying.
He immediately averted his gaze for fear of being caught, as tears remained in his eyes.
"Btaaiye naa Shaurya Bhaiya..."
"Aap chaahe... Toh mujhse share kar sakte hai...", she said calmly.
"Share ?...", he looked at her.
"Hmmm... Share...", she said.
"Kya share karu main Kanchan...."
"A... aisi toh koi baat nhi hai...", he said quietly, unable to respond because he didn't know whether or not to open up a little.
"Shaurya Bhaiya..."
"Dekhiye... Main aapko force nhi karungi..."
"Bas itna hi kehna chaahungi ki agar aap share karte hai toh ho sakta hai ki aapka man thoda halka ho jaaye... Aur aisa bhi toh ho sakta hai ki shaayad apki pareshaani ka koi solution ho mere paas... ", she said.
Listening to her insistent sound, he speculated whether or not to share it. He was well aware that Kanchan would not reveal it to anyone if he shared it with her, but it was his own nature of being closed and keeping his emotions to himself that was preventing him from opening up to Kanchan.
But, as Kanchan suggested, if he shared, he might be able to get a solution from her, and he also needed some temporary relief from this burden of emotions, so he eventually decided to go for it.
"Kanchan..."
"Voh...", he paused as he began.
"Voh kya Bhaiya ?...", she inquired, encouraging him to continue speaking.
He sighed and decided that it was time for him to speak up.
"Kanchan..."
"Tum baitho yaha..."
"Uske baad main btaata hoon...", he took his seat on the bed while Kanchan sat on the couch facing him.
"Btaaiye...", she politely said.
"Kanchan..."
"Tum toh..."
"I mean tumhe toh pta hi hai..."
"Voh us din... Dad...", he trailed off, recalling the day of his tiff with his father.
"Jee Bhaiya..."
"Mujhe pta hai us din jo hua tha..."
"Haan... Voh... Maine... An...", he paused once more, feeling ashamed.
"Ki aapne Anokhi ke character par savaal uthaaya ?..."
"Yahi naa ?...", Kanchan deduced, raising her brow.
He immediately looked at her, taken aback as to how she knew about it.
Shaurya turned his head, and Kanchan inferred from his silence that her guess was correct.
"Toh aapko apni galti ka ehsaas ho gaya Shaurya Bhaiya ?...", she asked, believing she would get a positive response.
A lump formed in his throat as he listened.
Lowering his eyes, he nodded slowly in yes. He wished he could take back the "words" he said to Anokhi that day.
"Kanchan..."
"I..."
"I'm extremely sorry for what I did... But-..."
"Anokhi ko sorry bola aapne ?...", she was quick to interrupt.
He lifted his head to face her.
No words came out of his throat as he himself didn't know what to say. He couldn't admit that he couldn't even bring himself to confront her, let alone apologize.
"Kya hua Bhaiya ?..."
"Btaaiye... Aapne usse maafi maangi ?..."
"Nhi Kanchan...", he finally spoke up.
"Maine Anokhi ko sorry nhi bola abhi tak..."
"Usne mujhse kaha tha... Maine jo bhi kiya... Uske baad vo mujhe k... kabhi maaf nhi karegi...", his voice trembled.
"Aur aapne haar maan li ?...", Kanchan was quick to say.
"Haar ?...", he seemed perplexed.
"Shaurya Bhaiya..."
"Yeh baat toh aap bhi jaante haina... Aapne jo kiya vo bohot galat tha..."
"I know Kanchan !..."
"I know ki maine jo bhi kiya that was absolutely wrong... Mujhe uske... In fact kisi bhi ladki ke character ke baare mein aise bolne ka koi hak nhi hai naa hi kisi aur ko hai... I know this !... Lekin us din vo sab maine gussse mein-..."
"Kis baat ka gussa Shaurya Bhaiya ?..."
He halted in his words listening to her.
Now he was at a loss for words as to how to respond to her. He became quiet, and those instances flashed through his mind, which were the "cause" of his sudden outburst on her in the library.
He remembered how, on the day he went to file FIR after his father had gone missing, ACP Ahir was wiping her wrist where the tea had spilled. He then remembered how, while both he and Anokhi were in the police station for the molestation case, Ahir had consoled Anokhi when she had become afraid upon seeing Vivek and had also made her drink water.
Those events began to play back in his mind like a movie, of how she had turned down his offer to drop her, but had agreed to Ahir and even thanked him for his assistance. Then occurred his impulsive outbreak on her, in which he had brutally called her out a "Loose Character".
His body erupted in rage, and his palm curled into a tight fist as he remembered this heinous word, and all this didn't get unnoticed by Kanchan. Although she knew something had definitely happened which had triggered his outburst on Anokhi, but that didn't mean he had the right to speak to her that way.
"Shaurya Bhaiya..."
"Main yeh toh nhi jaanti ki us din aapne aisa kyu kiya tha... Kis baat par gussa hokar kiya tha..."
"Lekin itna zaroor kahungi ki chaahe jis baat ko lekar hi kyu naa aap gussa the... Aapne us din Anokhi ke saath jo bhi kiya usko ab aapka koi bhi explanation justify nhi kar sakta Bhaiya..."
"Jo ho chuka hai... Ab use badla nhi jaa sakta Shaurya Bhaiya..."
"Bole gaye shabdo ko ab aap vaapas nhi le sakte..."
With moist eyes, he looked up at her. He indeed knew the truthfullness of her words. Neither he could take his words back nor he could change what had already happened.
"Lekin agar aap ko sach mein apni galti ka ehsaas hai... Aur agar aap dil se chaahte hai ki Anokhi aapko maaf karde... Toh aapke paas sirf ek hi cheez hai karne ko..."
"Kya Kanchan ?...", he asked, hopeful.
"SORRY...", she stated emphatically.
"Sorry ?..."
"Haan... Sorry...", she said.
"Aapne abhi tak use sorry hi nhi bola Shaurya Bhaiya... Use fir kaise pta chalega ki aapko apni galti ka ehsaas ho gaya..."
"Vo maaf kare yaa naa kare... Yeh toh baad ki baat hai... Aap ek baar himmat jutaakar uske saamne toh jaaiye... Use btaane ki koshish toh keejiye ki bhale hi aapne jo kiya use badla nhi jaa sakta... Lekin aapko apne kiye ka pachhtaava hai... Aur ab dobaar future mein aisa kisi ke saath kabhi bhi nhi karenge..."
"Aapki baaton se vo hurt hui thi... Aap use badal nhi sakte... Lekin usse yeh to keh sakte haina ki aayinda aap aisa nhi karenge..."
"Use aapki baaton se bohot gehri chot pahunchi hai... Lekin aapka ek SORRY uske liye marham ka kaam kar sakta hai Shaurya Bhaiya... Kyunki isse use kam se kam yeh to pta chalega ki aapke man mein uske liye asal mein vaisi soch hai hi nhi jaisa aapne us din gusse mein bol diya tha... Yeh baat jaanne ke baad thoda sa hi sahi... Uska dard kam bhi to ho sakta haina..."
"Ek baar usse baat karne ki koshish toh keejiye Shaurya Bhaiya...", Kanchan politely explained everything to him.
Shaurya was quietly listening to everything, deciphering the significance of her words. He was beginning to believe that she was right.
Until now, he hadn't attempted to say the five-letter word "SORRY" to her. He was sincerely sorry and wished to be forgiven by her, but lacked the courage to ask for forgiveness because he knew what he had done was unforgivable.
But Kanchan made him realize that instead of giving up, he should at least try. He should at least speak to Anokhi once to let her know that whatever he said to her that day was made on the spur of the moment and that he didn't mean any of it. He needed to at least dispel her misperception that he didn't hold her image in such "low" regard.
He felt that there was still a glimmer of hope left.
"Kanchan..."
"I'm again sorry for what I did...", he said, truly repentant for what he had done, and that pointing a finger at a girl's character was the same as doing the same to others. He didn't even have enough respect for himself to say this line while looking Kanchan in the eyes.
Kanchan smiled slightly as she listened to him apologize to her. She was now certain that he was truly sorry and that he had clearly recognized his fault. This gave her a sense of relief.
"Shaurya Bhaiya..."
"Aapko mujhse sorry maangne ki zaroorat nhi hai..."
"Main jaanti hoon aapko... Aur main samajh sakti hoon ki ab aapko ehsaas ho gaya hai..."
"Isliye main bas itna kehna chaahungi ki jaise aapne mujhe sorry bola naa... Vaise hi Anokhi ko bhi bolna..."
Shaurya nodded and now he was feeling light hearted to some extent.
Sharing a part of his grief with her and receiving some helpful advice on what he should do gave him a glimmer of hope that things could still be made right.
"Thank you Kanchan..."
"Main tumhaari baat samajh gaya..."
"Main..."
"Main Anokhi se maafi zaroor maangunga..."
"Vo agar..."
"Agar vo mujhe maaf nhi karti toh bhi..."
"Toh koi baat nhi... Main use force toh nhi kar sakta..."
"Lekin main use sorry zaroor bolunga...", he said firmly, sincerely wanting to apologize to her.
Kanchan smiled as she looked at him, satisfied that she could provide some company to him and that he could get some brief respite from his depressed state.
She hoped for the best, knowing that the rest was in Anokhi's hands...
How was it ?
Do tell me in comments 😊