~Only you~
Alright." I murmured against his lips. "Then tell me, how do you see us in the future, Jungkook." I smiled and closed my eyes at the feeling of his soft lips on the tip of my nose. I pressed my body against his and wrapped my arms around his neck. I had no idea what to think. We were actually discussing this.
"Like this every day."
"Pervert." I chuckled. His lips twisted into a grin as he tightened his arms around my waist. Our naked bodies pressing against one another under the sheet. My cheeks flushed red, my heart skipped a beat at the proximity.
"I'm happy you feel this way. I have to admit that I was a little scared. Let's face it, commitments and relationships weren't your things. Of course, I want to be with you forever but with everything that is happening I need to focus more on our situation and come up with solutions. Only after then, I can allow myself to dream and hope for a beautiful future together. Apart from that, I never wanted to make you feel pressured in some way. Never take my silence or my words in a negative way. Don't you already know what you mean to me?"
"People's hearts can change so fast." Jungkook lowered his gaze, avoiding eye contact.
"I know that you're different. You've done so many things for me, for someone who was a stranger in your life. Yes, you're right. This indeed feels like a beautiful and unreal dream. I am asking myself every second why did you risk your career, your freedom for someone like me. And keep stuck with me. Even when you love someone, you don't sacrifice so many things and make so many compromises. Eventually, it gets tiring. But yet you had so much patience and consideration. You are really something, actually jumping into a relationship with someone who isn't fully normal, even dangerous according to others. Without knowing what to expect from them. Even risking to go to bed and never wake up."
"I guess you will never understand how I feel about you and how much you've changed my life." I smiled warmly as I took his cheeks between my hands forcing him to look into my eyes. Eventually he did.
"Yes, everything was perfect in my life. I had a dream, I studied what I liked the most, I was an independent girl who managed to take care of herself without anyone's help, I had a peaceful life. But...
I wasn't living for real. Not until I met you. I was empty. I came to realize that as we started to spend our time together in that spooky place. I was lonely and... " I paused and caressed the mole under his lower lip with my lips.
"And?"
"I had no one to fight for. I never wanted anyone. Nothing was thrilling. No one ever caught my attention." Now I was the one to avert my eyes from his. I never wanted him to know just everything about me. Some things are better hidden.
He was confused, I could tell from the way his heated, beautiful eyes roamed my face.
"You were wanted by everyone, especially Naeun. From the first moment, I was aware of her feelings for you. Her eyes would reveal desire and lust each time you were around. I am sure it's not something foreign to you." I whispered and hid my face in the crook of his neck, feeling like hiding behind something, just so I would not feel his penetrating gaze upon me.
"I also wanted that. To have someone special who would make me look that way at them. I was jealous and frustrated. Naeun was the opposite of me. My parents always told me that I was too distant, cold, quiet, and closed. Because I wasn't very good at expressing my feelings nor eager to do it, not many people would bunch up to be my friend. The thing is that I didn't even give too much importance. People's opinion was never something I craved for. But this until I met you. From then on everything had changed. I couldn't figure you out. You were an enigma that I had to decipher. You were beautiful, yet innocent. But as soon as you woke up, you started to intrigue me. Those two sides of yours, for the first time ever, had the power to bring up to the surface feelings I never knew I could have.
You could be rude, mean, smart, frustrating, sweet, kind, loveable. And it was so easy to show them all. So different from me. I started to like being around you and wanted to know more about you. Even if I didn't want to recognize it, especially to myself, I wanted you to myself. For the first time in my life, I wanted someone to accept me and see me only. But I had no idea where to start and how to make that happen. For the first time, I tasted the fear of being rejected. For the first time, I was afraid that some girl will take you away from me because she was true to herself and her feelings for you. Like Naeun. She wasn't scared to show you how she felt. And there I was nothing more than a block of ice."
" I... Didn't know..." Jungkook placed his hand on my head and ran his fingers through my hair. He did it slowly as if thinking about something. I closed my eyes and continued.
"I always considered myself as strong as a rock. But each time you were near, I could lose myself so easily. The confidence I had in me slowly started to shatter, I craved for you yet I struggled to keep you at a distance. I was both afraid of the unknown and to let myself get carried away. I wanted to jump into your arms from the first moment you touched me but my stupid vanity did not let me. I guess I needed to feel safe. To see you fight a little for me just so my heart could feel at ease, and I would have chased you to the end of the world."
"I always wanted to be like you. It's so easy for you to show your feelings. And so hard for me to do so."
"Yeah... I guess you know better than me. I don't have a mirror in my face so I could tell what expression I make." He rolled me over, propped himself up on his elbow, and looked down at me."So... Tell me. If I am that easy to read. What is my expression telling you now?"
Flashing me a confident grin, he let his gaze roll over my naked body, lingering on my breasts. I saw the appreciative glow in his gaze and something curled around inside my stomach. He looked up meeting my eyes. His gaze pierced my soul, sending chills up my spine. There I could see desire and adoration.
"And..." His lips touched my ear, "I prefer melting an ice queen rather than wasting my time with an obedient and boring little girl. It's... more exciting and it never gets boring." He pulled back and looked at me as the corner of his lips curled upward in a devilish smirk.
"Many times I tried to read you and many times I failed in understanding you. But I guess that this is one of the qualities I fell for. Maybe sometimes I was pissed by your indifference but I will never get tired of trying to approach you, just like you don't get tired to do it in your own way. Maybe I can't always read what is crossing your mind or what in reality you feel under that mask you stubbornly raise between you and the rest of the world. But every time you're looking at me... at that moment you can't hide anymore. Even more when I am touching you." He bit his lower lip as he ran his fingers over my throat, gently, barely felt.
Desire washed over me, my blood pumping, sending small shudders through my body. And he smiled.
Maybe it wasn't that hard for him to understand my feelings. Maybe he needed just a little confidence.
I closed my eyes and arched my body up towards him. I moaned at the feel of his chest pressed against my breasts. Hard and solid. I let my palms drift up his back feeling the plane of his muscles and I bit another moan as I continued to trace the lines of his back and feel his muscles shift with his every breath.
I opened my eyes to see him still staring down at me with a sexy smirk on his lips. "I guess you really can't get enough of touching me, right?"
I blushed. I guess I will never do. I love touching you.
I don't know what he saw on my face but his eyes softened. I watched him bite his lower lip, white teeth pressing into red flesh and I could not tear my gaze away from his mouth and that tiny sweet mole from under his lower lip. I would kiss it endlessly.
I needed him to touch me right then and there. My stomach clenched, desire washed over me.
He cupped my breasts and lightly caressed each nipple. I moaned, a deep chill flowing through my body. I looked into his eyes and the way he was looking at me, with so much tenderness and love, made me tear up.
I wanted to hope for a future together.
To hope that one day... He will take my hand and promise me that it will be only me.
I watched him as he leaned in and caressed my lips with his. I held his gaze and kissed his lips. He smiled. "A penny for your thoughts."
"You don't have any." I teased, this way searching for an excuse to keep it a secret.
"I do now. You are looking at Mingyu's new assistant after all." He flashed me a proud grin.
I smiled from my heart. "What?" I was so happy for him.
"Yeah. Mingyu wants me to help him with some of his cases. In his opinion is no one more qualified than me to help him with people with mental disabilities. He thinks that there is a higher chance for me to gain their trust as I went through something similar to them. He told me that maybe it will also help me if I talk to them and try to open up."
The idea was amazing. Jungkook wasn't the type who prefers to talk about his dark past with anyone, not even with me. If he would come across people with the same fears maybe he will finally open up and overcome those fears. And maybe then... Maybe we... Our relationship will have a chance.
"So do tell me. What is crossing your mind right now?"
I will never tell you. I can't trouble you. I can't force your hand.
Jungkook tilted his head as he watched me, his smile slowly fading away.
I want a family with you. A home. Lots of children. But... I know you can't offer me that. You can't... do you? You're not ready for such a huge step. You don't even know what a family really means. I shouldn't even think about something like this. We can't even make plans for tomorrow.
Besides, my chances of getting pregnant are low. With all those medications and drugs which were constantly given to him all his life, I was sure that it caused infertility. Although I hoped it was not like that. My chest tightened, my lip trembled at the thought. But I knew from the start what I was getting myself into and what were the risks. I will never regret my decisions. Even if that meant never having children. I will never want anyone else.
I bit his lip and sucked it. "Nothing," I whispered under my breath. "Just wanting you."
His eyes were still on me and I had the feeling that he wasn't buying it.
"Ok. We will leave it for now. With you naked pressed against me, it's impossible to concentrate on anything else. The only thing that is crossing my mind right now is to fuck you in every possible way."
I inhaled deeply and shuddered with anticipation as the erotic tension began a fast build inside me. I was getting wet and needy. His lips and his body pressed on me was everything I could yearn for.
A shock of electricity engulfed me the second our lips came together. Just a caress, only a few words, and my body pulsed with excitement. Our tongues slipped into each other's mouths and the throbbing between my legs began to pulse in my ears.
"Touch me," I whispered against his lips. I arched closer to him and felt his erection hot and hard pressed against my stomach. I heard him inhale deeply before changing the angle and kissing me again, sliding his tongue into my mouth, hot and deep.
I forced a breathy moan back when his hands skimmed down my back to cup my ass in his hands and squeeze lightly. I squirmed under him and took a deep, shaky breath as his fingers ghosted over my wet heat. Just as he plunged two fingers into me, I captured his lips in mine, sealing the loud moan I was about to release.
My breath came in heavy pants as his fingers slid in and out of me and I clenched my fingers in his hair.
"You're so wet. Damn, I love how your body responds to me." He murmured against my lips before he slipped out his tongue to caress my lower lip. Then he bit down on my lip, pulling it so it snaps back into place, snatching a moan from my throat.
My eyes snapped open and I whined the moment I didn't feel his body pressed on me anymore. "Jungkook..." I breathed out and swallowed my saliva when I glanced down quickly to see his lips quirked into a smug smirk as he brought his index finger to his lips and sucked on it, his eyes trained on me. The room became suddenly too small and hot and it seemed like forever until he withdrew his finger from his mouth. His tongue glided out, wetting his plumb bottom lip slowly.
My heart was about to burst. I felt shy all of a sudden under his playful gaze. And not only. I felt like prey caught inside a cage with a predator.
"I would love to eat you out right now, baby. Look forward to it. It's a huge privilege to have my lips on you." He sweetly let it out, his smile widening seeing my flustered face.
My eyes enlarged but soon squeezed shut at the feel of his lips on the inside of my left thigh starting a line of hot, sucking kisses upwards to my core, taking away my every resolve. Something snapped inside of me to the point that it sent a flutter racing through every pore of my body. I was so embarrassed but also excited and full of anticipation. Only imagining his lips touching me there, a strangely warm, wriggling sensation made its way inside my stomach leaving me breathless.
He was always hot but right then he was more. He was breathtaking. I started shaking and a gasp escaped through my lips as I felt his hot breath fan over me. He looked up and with a smirk dancing on his lips he shot me a cheeky wink. And when his tongue caressed my center, I shuddered.
"I want to hear you scream my name."
I tried to control myself and not make funny noises, but the way he was moving his tongue and his soft, warm lips against me made it impossible. His touch was everywhere, teasing, sucking, rolling. My back arched and I whimpered at every new move of his tongue against me.
"Jungkook..." I whimpered, I was on the verge of losing my mind. I wanted him so bad inside of me. I couldn't stay still until his hands gripped my thighs. When I thought I couldn't take it anymore, he slid back up on top of me again, his chest pressed against mine.
We locked gazes as he licked his lips, grinning. His mouth engulfed mine, sucking feverishly on my lips. My nipples felt hard against his chest as I glided the tip of my tongue slowly across his bottom lip, then slid it between his teeth, stroking the roof of his mouth. I smiled triumphantly when the sound of a sweet moan reached my ears. I parted my lips and gently sucked his tongue into my mouth as my hands explored his body over his shoulders down his back only to stop on his ass. I moaned, his hardness between my legs, pressed against my warmth caused the throbbing between my legs to pulse even more wildly.
I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and sneaked a hand between us and wrapped my fingers around his hot hardness. Dark desire danced in his eyes as I stroked him and explored his length from the tip to the base. His expression didn't disclose any kind of feeling but I knew how much my touch affected him by the way his jaw tensed. I loved the feel of him. I tightened my grip around him as we looked into each other's eyes. "I want you in me."
He stopped breathing for a second, his eyes darken as they stared into mine. I lifted my hand and caressed his cheek gently and his eyes closed slowly before burying his face in my neck and inhaling deeply.
Jungkook's hands quickly became entwined with mine, his soft lips teased my skin kissing a line from my chin down my neck stopping to trap my nipple between his teeth. He sucked and worked his tongue slowly, twirling circles around the bead. I grabbed the sheet at my sides and parted my lips trying to breathe. Waves of intense pleasure crashed over me as his tongue found my other nipple, my insides clenched at the feeling of the tip of his manhood pressed at my entrance.
I let my head fall back to the mattress when he pressed all the way inside me. Once he was fully inside, he closed his eyes and gave me a heavy thrust taking me by surprise, both my hands held above my head and pressed against the mattress. He completely lost control from the moment he entered me. His thrusts became frenzied and wild, his breath ragged as he tightened his fingers around my wrists. I clenched as tight as I could around him, the hot sensation in my core escalated with each stroke. I moaned against his mouth. His gaze locked with mine before parting my lips with his tongue and taking my breath away.
"Fuck. Why do you feel so good?" He groaned.
"I want only you. " He whispered above my ear before biting the bottom of it. "I love you."
I felt an ache in my heart, a lump in my throat, the rise of tears in my eyes. "I love you too." And the tears fell hot and fast upon my cheeks. "And more than anything."
I wrapped my legs around his waist and trapped him inside me. We stayed like that in each other's arms, his lips grazed the side of my neck and then he was kissing me, long, hot and deep.
A jolt of heat speeded through my veins, my insides clenched him with a powerful squeeze, the intense pleasure hitting me in one go. As if he knew I was close to my end, he changed the angle and hit a tender spot inside me and I exploded around him. He tucked his head down and his hot breath warmed the crook of my neck as he thrust into me harder. His little moan of pleasure sounded like music in my ear as he slammed into me harder and harder. My inner muscles once again tightened trying to force him to climax. I felt him throbbing, pulsing, and then a warm sensation inside me. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his shoulders searching for his neck so I could bury my face in it and smell him. His heart was still racing, his breath coming fast and ragged.
We locked gazes and he smiled at me sweetly, his bangs sticking to his forehead. I reached out and brushed them away to wipe his sweat off and kiss him. Then we stayed like that in each other's arms and fell asleep.