Pointing a fucking gun at me. Is he serious? Is this dumb to be mad over it? Probably. Am I still gonna be mad over it? Yes, yes I am.
Embarrassing, is what it was. I went in there to help. Maybe even gain a little respect. Show I'm not some chick who acts like she knows what she's doing but when the time comes she's running around with her head cut off.
I've seen the way Leo's men watch me. They criticized me. They wonder 'who the fuck is this girl and why does she think she can boss us around'.
It pisses me off but I would've done the same. Trust is earned. Respect is earned. I have their fear. Not trust nor respect.
I'm getting a tattoo. I need a break just for a second. I have a friend, Davy. He has done all of my tattoos for me. He tries to not make me pay but I always manage to put my money into his tip jar.
He's a muscular guy, short but taller than me, bald with tattoos everywhere, he has bicolor eyes, one is green and the other is brown.
"How's it been?" He asks as he keeps majority of his focus on tattooing my left forearm. My left arm has no ink on it, I just haven't gotten around to it so this is the first tattoo on this arm.
"Good, you?" I mumble. I'm in the chair with my eyes close, feeling the needles pierce through my skin. I let it take my thoughts away for now.
"Same, Annie misses you." Annie is his wife. They've been married for 15 years, young marriage and all.
"I miss her and her cooking." I say as he chuckles.
He wipes the access ink off before handing me a mirror to look. "It's a masterpiece, once again." I say with a small smile.
"I appreciate this, I'll see you later." I tell him as he cleans his station. I shove 900 in his tip jar before walking out and into my car. I drive to my building.
I head straight to my office. I'm not planning on doing shit. I have a perfectly, comfortable couch in my office to sleep on.
Once I'm in, I kick of my heels, cursing at my height. My pants still drag on the floor even with the heels but now I'm just stepping on them.
I huff before throwing myself onto my couch. I look around my office. I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish. I know I want him dead. I'm willing to give up everything besides one thing and that one thing is and will continue to be untouchable.
I already printed out the list and put it on top of his desk. I'm sure he'll find it.
I decided on seeing Nova before going to look for Leo. I walk to her door and knock. She mumbles a 'come in'.
I open the door, peaking my head in at first. I make eye contact with her. She's sitting on her bed with a blanket on her.
"Hey." I say walking in and sitting beside her. I lift the blanket to put my legs under it but she pushes the blanket back down. I try again but she does the same.
"Nova, what are you doing? My legs are cold." I say. I look up at her face as she shows guilt. I furrow my eyebrows.
"What's wrong?" I ask. She pulls photos out from under her blanket and hands them to me before laying under the blanket screaming 'don't be mad at me'.
I look at the photos in my hand. It's a ultrasound. I look at the photo before look at Nova, who is now peaking her head out of the blanket, then look back at them.
"They say 20 weeks, you're halfway done. Why haven't you told me?" I ask, putting the photos down.
"I'm scared. I mean, I don't even know who the father is. I'm barely even showing but the doctor said the baby is perfectly healthy." She says.
"Have you told Leo?" I ask. She shakes her head no. I sigh before giving her a nod. "I won't tell him but you need to do it." She nods.
I move putting my legs under the blanket, laying beside her. She lays on her back and I take my chance, pulling her sweatshirt up to show off her small but very noticeable bump.
"So this is it?" I ask, placing my hand on her stomach.
"Yup. This is it." She chuckles.
"What gender?" I ask, pushing my body down so my face is in front of her stomach.
"Boy." She says.
I hum, rubbing my hand on her stomach. I kiss it before kissing her head and leaving to find Leo.
"Hey, baby." Leo says once I enter the kitchen.
"Hey."I reply, grabbing a Monster from the fridge. I open it, taking a sip before holding it out for him. I've gotten him hooked on these.
He grabs it, putting a straw in it for me then taking a sip. He puts it on the counter that I'm leaning on before putting his hands in my hips.
"Are you mad?" He asks, bending down and putting his head in the crook of my neck. My hands stay by my side, even though I want to rub my fingers through his hair.
"You pointed a gun at me, Leonadas, a gun." I clarified.
"I know. I thought you were one of my men and I was aggravated. I'm sorry, baby." He whispers against my skin. Stay strong.
"This isn't just about that. I need their respect and trust. They are going to continue to treat me like a child if it doesn't happen." I say, my eyes flutter close as he starts kissing my neck.
"They won't. You've got to trust me." He mumbles.
"I trust you." I whisper, putting my hands in his hair finally. I slide one hand from his hair down his shoulder and down his arm to his hand that rest on my hip. I interlock our hands as he lays his head down.
"I don't like you mad at me." He sighs against my neck.
"It's going to happen. Couples fight, that doesn't exclude us." I mumble.
"It doesn't mean I have to like i-"
"What- Woah! My virgin eyes!"
I look around Leo's body to see Ezra holding his eyes with one hand and the other on his chest as he stumbles back. Nova walks around the corner, smacking Ezra's head before looking at us in awe.
"That's adorable." She squeals, smacking Ezra's arm repeatedly.
"Okay! Okay! Just stop hitting me!" He says, walking further into the kitchen.
I feel Leo's head shake before he leans up, out of my neck. He pecks my lips before using his hands on my hips to move me forward, just enough for him to get behind me. He hands me my Monster.
"There's no food!" Ezra groans before slamming the fridge door shut. I listen to the stuff in the inside rattle.
"Pizza?" Nova asks. Ezra rapidly nods his head before grabbing his phone and calls the pizza place.
"You hungry?" I look up towards Leo as he looks down at me. I shake my head before going back to my drink.
"Baby, you need to eat. I haven't seen you eat since this morning." He says, sighing.
Yeah, and I threw it all back up.
"I'm not hungry." I mumble with my straw in my mouth.
"You may not feel like it but your body needs the nutrients." He pushes.
"Leonadas, don't do this. I said I'm not hungry, leave it." I snap, getting off of him and going to our room.
I lock the bathroom door and run the tub. I place vanilla scented bubbles inside once it was filled and get in.
I don't want to eat when I'm just going to throw it up. Last night when I ate, I woke up from a nightmare and ran to the toilet. The nightmares calm down when I'm with Leo but I just want them to stop.
I wish I could choose which memories to remember. Like my parents, always smiling and dancing in the kitchen. The only good thing that comes from these nightmares is remembering what they sound like.
How my mom humming sounded. I don't ever want to forget that. Or my dads laugh, he sounded like a hyena that has lung cancer but it was him. It was them.
They were going to make me a sister. Nobody new it but me, but they were going to try and have another kid. They tried before and lost it. It was rough on them but I helped them cope. They used me to help cope and I would've done it over and over again if it meant they were happy again.
I could've had a younger brother or sister along with my parents. But I don't and it my fault. No matter how many times I think differently about it or if it was just bad timing. I asked because Robert told me about the knife, he used to be so kind to me when he was friends with my parents. Treated me as if I was his younger sister, but now it's gone. It's all gone.
"Little bird, why did you do this?" I hear. I don't have to turn towards the voice to know who it is. I tense, looking around the room for an escape. It's the same cell. The small bullet proof window, the same cracks on the wall, the same squeaky metal door.
"This is your fault, but you know this already. It always is your fault. Everything you seem to do causes everyone pain. Honestly, I'm surprised you're still alive. I figured that someone would have killed you by now, if not that then you would've killed yourself. I know you're weak like that." He says, chuckling towards the end.
"I am not weak." I whisper.
"Who are you trying to convince? You or me?" He says smiling wildly.
"Oh, poor Oaklee. She is a weak little thing, ain't she?" He asks someone. I turn towards him seeing Leo beside him with his arms crossed.
"Yeah, she is." Leo agrees.
"I've told once and I'll tell you again. He will realize what he feels is not love nor admiration but pity. He pity's you. You are nothing to him and he's finally come to his conscience." Robert sneers.
"That's not true." I speak, turning to keep my voice steady.
"But it is. I've never felt anything for you. Never had and never will. You've always been a problem. I don't do problems. I get rid of them." Leo says as he lifts a gun towards me.
He doesn't even give me a chance before he shoots and I rocket backwards.
Banging on the door makes me jolt awake. I look around blinking slowly, I'm still in the bathtub. The bubbles have faded and the once hot water is now cold. I fell asleep in the bathtub.
"Oaklee, have you been in here this entire time?" Leo asks, it's sounds muffled as he's on the other side.
I stay silent, draining the tub and walking into the shower. I want it hot, I'm tired of always feeling cold. I watch as the shower fills with steam.
The door gets banged on again, believe I hear footsteps and then silence. Silence. Silence is wonderful. Silence is peaceful.
'Keep silence, the world of silence is cast of fullness.'
The door flies open.