"Thanks, Cass. If it hadn't been for you-"
"Crowley was right. It's not going well for me upstairs."
"If there's anything we can do-"
"There isn't," Cass cut Dean off again, facing us. "I wish circumstances were different. Much of the time I'd rather be here."
"Look, Cass, we know you got a steaming pile on your plate," I told him. "There's no need for apologies. We're your friends."
"Listen, Sam, we'll find another way," the angel addressed him.
"You really wanna help? Prison full of monsters. Can't just leave 'em, can't let 'em go."
"I understand."
"Could you also bring me Maddie?" I asked him.
"Of course," he nodded.
He disappeared with a flap of his wings.
"He's right, you know?" Dean turned to Sam.
"About?"
"About your soul. We'll figure something else out."
"No, we won't," Sam shook his head.
"Why, because Crowley said-" I began.
"You heard what Crowley said," Sam cut me off. "Both of you did. And I heard what Cass said. Putting this thing back in would smash me to bits."
"We don't know that for sure."
"You know what? When angels and demons agree on something, call me nuts, I pay attention."
I squirmed uncomfortably, the sick feeling from before returning, but Dean just looked angry.
"You say this now?! After we practically died trying to-"
"Exactly! We almost got ourselves killed. I mean, how many times are we gonna risk our asses for this? Enough's enough."
"Sam-"
"I don't think I want it back."
"You don't even know what you're saying," Dean shook his head.
"No, I'm saying something you don't like," Sam corrected him. "You obviously care, a lot. But I think maybe I'm better off without it."
"You're wrong," Dean insisted. "You don't know how wrong you are."
"I'm not sure about that."
Sam turned on his heel, walking away from me and Dean.
"Sam, don't walk away! Sam! Sam!"
⁘
Of all the things about pregnancy, morning sickness was one thing that I had not missed in the slightest. Maddie and I were staying at Bobby's house for a while, and she had the old man wrapped around her little finger. She loved making "Grandpa Bobby" play all sorts of games from hide-and-seek to Fairy Princess Tea Party. It was hilarious seeing Bobby in a pair of sparkly fairy wings and clip on earrings sitting on the floor being served invisible tea in toy cups by my daughter who wore a princess tiara and dress.
Dean and Sam had been with us for two weeks trying to figure out a way to get Sam's soul back, getting as much of a kick out of Grandpa Bobby as I was. At least, when I wasn't stuck in the bathroom throwing my guts up at random points in the day. I had also started getting cravings, which meant Bobby had to stock up on some weird food combinations, since I'd go from wanting something one day, to hating the sight of it and wanting something completely different the next.
Then one morning, I woke up to find the other side of the bed empty, and the sheets cold. I panicked for a second, until I saw the note left on the pillow in Dean's place.
'Ellie Bear-
Found a way to help Sam. Don't tell him. I'll be back as soon as I can. Bobby is watching Maddie, so take it easy and don't overdo yourself. I love you so much.
XO,
Dean'
As I finished reading the note, the familiar sickness hit me once more and I hurried into the adjoining bathroom attached to the bedroom Dean and I stayed in every time we were at Bobby's. Sam was staying in the spare room down the hall and Bobby had insisted on making a bed up for Maddie in his room, which she was loving. Dean and I had said she could just stay with us in our room, but Bobby had been persistent.
When I had finished gagging up nothing, I moved back into the room and got dressed for the day. Downstairs, Maddie and Bobby were sitting together in the kitchen eating breakfast. Sam was leaning against the counter drinking a cup of coffee.
"Morning," I greeted them, going for the orange juice as opposed to the coffee.
I had a no caffeine policy while I was pregnant that I'd made when I had Maddie. It sucked, but I was determined to make sure my babies were healthy as long as they were growing inside of me, and that meant making changes to my diet with the exception of certain cravings.
"Mornin'," Bobby grunted without losing focus from my daughter.
"Hi, Mommy!" Maddie grinned over at me.
"Hey, baby."
Sam remained silent, eyeing my glass of juice. However, before I could drink any of it, my morning sickness hit once more and the cup was abandoned as I rushed back to the bathroom, even though I didn't have anything in my stomach to throw up.
"Coming down with something?"
I knelt back on my heels and looked over at Sam, who was leaning in the doorway staring back at me.
"Something like that..."
"Hey, did Dean tell you where he rushed off to this morning? He wouldn't give me and Bobby details."
"Not exactly," I bit my lip. "I mean, he left a note saying he had something he needed to take care of, and told me to take it easy, but he didn't specify where he was going exactly."
It wasn't the complete truth, but it was true enough that I didn't feel bad lying to Sam. He had specifically instructed me not to tell Sam that he'd found a way to get his soul back, and I assumed he just wanted to get everything in order before telling Sam himself. I just hoped whatever it was, he wasn't doing something incredibly stupid. Though, knowing Dean, it most likely was something stupid.
"Right."
Once my stomach had settled once more, Sam stepped aside to let me out of the bathroom.
"I'm going to go lay down. Let me know when Dean gets back."
"Sure."
⁘
"YOU WHAT?!"
My eyes snapped open at Sam's shout that carried through the closed door. Groaning and resting one hand on my stomach, I swung my legs out of the bed and headed into the hall. As soon as I opened the door, I could make out more of what was being said downstairs.
"Death said he can put up a wall," Dean's voice carried up.
"A wall?" Sam questioned.
"Yes, yes, a wall- that- that, basically, you wouldn't remember Hell."
"Damn it," I muttered, making my way downstairs, continuing to listen to the conversation.
"Really?"
"Really."
"For good? Like a cure?"
"No, it's not a cure. It... He said it could last a lifetime."
"Great," Sam sighed as I got to the bottom step. "So, playing pretty fast and loose with my life here, don't you think, Dean?"
"I'm trying to save your life!"
"Exactly, Dean! It's my life! It's my life, it's my soul. And it sure as hell ain't your head that's gonna explode when this whole scheme of yours goes sideways."
"Just curious," Bobby piped up from the table. "I presume Death's not doing this out of the goodness of his heart. So what's your half of the deal."
Dean looked evasive, not answering right away. I didn't know where Maddie was, but I was just glad she wasn't in the room to hear any of this.
"I'm sorry. I didn't get that," Bobby growled.
"I have to wear the ring for a day," Dean admitted.
"Why the hell would he want you to do that?" I demanded, making my presence known.
"Get his rocks off. I don't know," Dean shrugged, avoiding my gaze. "But I'm doing it."
I glared at him, then turned on my heel to head out the front door at the same time as Sam.
"Where are you two going?"
"Look, we hear you, alright," Sam said. "We get it. We just need a minute to wrap our heads around it, alright?"