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Chapter Twenty-Two: Always
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Just like James had said to, Romina downed the horrid hangover potion the very moment her eyes fluttered open that next morning. The sunlight was streaming through the curtains, bright and strong. She immediately curled back up and faced the opposite wall so she could close her eyes once more.
She had no idea what time it was, but she heard some footsteps in the hallway and continued ignoring the need to get up and use the restroom because after a night of intense drinking, for the very first time at that, all she wanted to do was sleep the day away.
She wouldn't get what she wanted, sadly, because her eyes fluttered open the moment the mattress by her feet dipped down under the weight of another body.
Turning slightly to see who it was, she let out a sigh.
"Can I help you?" She asked in a whisper, tugging the blankets up just a bit more to cover her bare shoulders.
"It's almost two in the afternoon. Mia is starting to worry about you. I told her I'd come get you. Thought you wouldn't want her to come up and be the one to find you hungover in bed."
Sirius nervously played with a frayed string attached to the bottom of his trousers, his leg bent at the knee as he rested on the bed beside her.
"I would rather it be anyone else but you." She admitted bluntly, keeping her back to him. She hoped that maybe if she kept being rude that he would get the hint and leave. But it was wishful thinking because it only caused Sirius to lean over her legs, his hand pressing into the mattress beside her as he tried to get a better look at her face. The closeness between them was extremely intimate and she tried to ignore the butterflies creeping up inside of her.
"Are you going to let me apologize?"
"No." She scoffed and turned just a bit to look at him now. "You'll have to do a lot more than just say those two pointless words."
"Well, okay, but can I just start off by saying those two pointless words then?" He asked her as his grey eyes studied her face. She didn't look terrible, which surprised him. But the small vial on the table beside the bed caught his eye and he found himself smiling. James must have given her the hangover potion last night. Atleast one of them was looking out for her.
That thought made him feel sick to his stomach. He let that ugly green-eyed monster win last night and he knew he needed to learn to control it better. He shifted back as she sat up, tugging the blankets around her for warmth as she stared over at him.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" She inquired, raising a brow as she waited for him to apologize.
Sirius laughed softly. He looked back down at his lap before a moment before he took in a deep breath to prepare himself, "I'm sorry." He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry for the way I acted last night. I'm embarrassed that I let myself act that way."
"And?"
"I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I honestly don't know what came over me." That was a lie, but she didn't need to know that. "I embarrassed you and put you on the spot. And it was wrong."
Romina stayed silent as she listened to him apologize. Her stomach clenched tightly before sending butterflies fluttering all around. She wanted to make him sweat a bit, but after making eye contact and seeing how pained his expression was, well she knew she couldn't do that to him. It was more than enough that he came in and initiated the conversation to make his apology to her.
She leaned up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck. She hugged him, the pressure of her body against his starting off gentle before she gave him a tiny, tighter squeeze. "Did James tell you to come apologize?" She asked him, her lips brushing against his ear as she pulled back to look at him.
"Remus." He replied with a weak smile, his hands rested on her waist as she hugged him. He let them linger on her even after she pulled back and when her hands found his chest before slipping away, he gave her hips a gentle squeeze.
The room fell silent, tension lingering in the air between them as they sat on the bed staring at one another.
"That night on the astronomy tower... I actually thought you were going to kiss me." She blurted out, her cheeks burning with embarrassment that she actually admitted this to him.
Sirius smiled over at her, "Is that what you wrote about me in your diary?"
"Yes." She admitted sheepishly, tucking hair behind her ears as she stared down at her lap.
She didn't want to tell him that she may not be in this mess if she never wrote specifically about him. A part of her thought that Regulus would have come to her if she only talked about Lily and Marlene. She assumed that Regulus felt betrayed, especially after the situation in divination. After all, she made her choice. She chose one brother over the other. She chose light instead of darkness. Happiness over sadness... the list could go on.
There was this unspoken pull between the two. The tension was thick, yet awkward at the same time. Romina glanced up once she realized Sirius wasn't responding. She caught his eye and remained interlocked with his gaze as inch by inch the gap between their lips began to close.
"Mina! Are you bloody up yet?"
At the sound of James' voice, Sirius jumped up and away from Romina. He cleared his throat and glanced at the door at the exact moment James strolled through the threshold.
"Oh, you're in here." James raised a brow as he glanced over at Romina. "Did you apologize?"
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Yes, if you must know."
"James, leave him be. It was quite heartfelt, you know." Romina got up from the bed and stretched her arms above her head with a groan. "By the way, that potion tasted vile, but it seemed to do the trick. Though I am feeling rather tired still." She sighed and collapsed back onto the bed.
"Well, you should go get ready. I've made plans for us." James crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the dresser beside the bed.
"What sort of plans?" Sirius asked curiously.
"You'll see!"
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S E P T E M B E R 1977
The rest of the summer passed quickly. Romina spoke nothing more of her diary, or the hope that Sirius would finally kiss her. She was nervous to go back to Hogwarts and found herself pacing back and forth on the platform, staring down at her feet.
"Is she going to be alright, you think?"
Peter whispered up at Remus as both boys watched her frantic behavior.
Remus sighed, "I don't know. We'll help her any way we can, though. So, we should try to be hopeful."
Peter went to open his mouth but was violently shoved to the side as Avery and Mulciber strolled past the group of Gryffindors.
"Oi!" James snapped, holding Peter's arm to help stabilize him before his eyes narrowed over at Avery and Mulciber. "Watch where you're walking, you prat."
"Not my fault you lot are in my way." Avery sneered, his eyes falling onto Romina after he finished snapping at James.
"Lestrange." Avery glanced over his shoulder, watching Regulus make his way over to them. He didn't look well. Not to Romina, nor to Sirius. He was pale, more so than he usually was. His hair was longer in just the two months that she had not seen him. The moment he stepped up beside Avery and Mulciber, his eyes met Romina's.
She felt frozen under his gaze. The food she ate for breakfast was starting to churn rapidly in her stomach, and she immediately felt like she was going to get sick. Her hand moved to cover her mouth, but she was quickly pulled into Sirius' side as he came to her aide.
James, Remus, and Peter stood infront of the two. James, in the middle, crossed his arms over his chest. "You'd do best to leave Romina be. Off you get, all of you."
"It's a shame that things had to happen the way they did, Mina. You would have made a pretty housewife. I would have enjoyed you in more ways than one." Avery tutted, beginning to walk off with the other two in tow.
Sirius rushed forward and tried to grab onto Avery's robes, but Romina had grabbed onto his arm to pull him back. The last thing she wanted was for him to ruin his last year at Hogwarts because of a prat like Avery. Whatever he had to say about her, she could handle it even if she did not want to. Her insides squeezed tightly as she began struggling to keep him back from doing something he would regret.
"Siri, please." She whispered, pleading him to relax.
The Slytherin boys all had a laugh, though said not another word as they climbed into the Hogwarts Express. Regulus, though, had taken one final look back at his brother and ex-best friend. His eyes were sad as he looked down at their hands, connected tightly between them.
"Are you alright?" Remus stepped up beside them, his hand resting on Romina's shoulder as she turned to look at the rest of their group.
"I'm fine. I can usually handle Avery on my own." She sighed, keeping her hand in Sirius' for another moment before she pulled back from him and started her way to the train. "I just want to forget about it all. Let's go get a good compartment before they're all gone."
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The journey back to Hogwarts was uneventful after the scuffle on the platform. Romina found herself squished between Peter and Marlene, her eyes falling on Lily who sat across from her. The redhead had just got done explaining that she would have new living quarters now that she was Head Girl.
"I thought that was a myth?" Romina questioned, tilting her head to the side a bit.
"No! Thank Merlin it isn't a bloody myth! Can you imagine all the parties we can have this year? As Head Boy, and Head Girl," James nodded to Lily with a grin, "We want you to know you have a place with us."
"Me?" Romina whispered breathlessly, confusion spreading over her features.
"Yes, you! Don't be silly!" Lily laughed softly. "We talked about it the very same day we got our letters." She explained the plan they had come up with, gesturing to James as she let everyone know he had been the mastermind behind it.
"Will it be allowed? I mean, a Slytherin sixth year living with the Gryffindor Head Boy and Girl? Sounds insane." Romina laughed softly, reaching over to take the piece of treacle fudge Peter offered to her.
She was busy chewing on the sweet to respond to James who explained how he wouldn't mind letting her keep his room so he could spend the last year before adulthood with his best mates in their dormitory.
"After everything Dumbledore did to get you to us, Mina, I think he'd let this slide. I wouldn't be surprised to find your belongings already in the room waiting for you." Marlene piped up from her book, a grin spreading wide on her lips as she looked up to everyone.
"I agree." Lily smiled warmly, reaching over to take a piece of fudge from Peter before she looked over at James. "I know I've told you already, but it's very sweet of you to be doing this for Romina." Her voice barely came out in a whisper, her hand reaching over to gently take his before giving it a reassuring squeeze.
James' cheeks turned red at the intimate act between them, his hand squeezing hers back in return before he looked over at Remus and Sirius who had both taken to closing their eyes for a rest before dinner.
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To try and save face, if only for a little bit, Romina sat at the Slytherin table. Her knee bounced up and down beneath the table as she did her best to eat the food on the plate before her. She sat closer to the end of the table, hidden around a few first and second years.
She felt Regulus watching her and the moment she looked up and made eye contact was the moment she knew she had to get out of the great hall. She collected her bag, got up slowly and made her way through the doors, blending in with a few other students who were exiting at the same time.
She got as far as the end of the corridor before the last person she wanted to speak to caught up with her.
"Mina, please." Regulus pleaded, reaching out to grab onto her arm. He tried to pull her back and around to face him.
"Don't touch me!" Romina hissed, yanking her arm away from him as she stared at him in disbelief. She couldn't believe that he wanted to try and talk with her. After everything that happened, not to mention that it was all his fault.
"Fine, I won't touch you. But I still want to talk." Regulus hissed back, his arms crossing over his chest as he glanced around to make sure nobody else was lingering around to listen in on their conversation. "You live with them now then?"
"Where else would you have me live? I'm never going back to that house. It's a prison. I don't want to die there and if I go back that is exactly what is going to happen. You know it's true, Reg." Romina told him firmly. She was seething. Her blood was boiling like a kettle on the stove, pumping through her veins and making all of her fingers tingle to the point that they started to hurt.
"They love you, Mina. They would never kill you, that's just preposterous. Your brothers and... We all just want what is best for you. You cannot just throw your life away. I refuse to let you do this. Especially for someone like my stupid brother." Regulus snapped.
"Of course this is about Sirius." Romina groaned, rolling her eyes before glaring up at him. "He's already a better man than you will ever be, Reggie. He saved me. You... You-"she trailed off, not even sure where to go from here. She clenched her fists tightly, trying to steel herself. "You're the reason I was tortured. Writhing on that floor, screaming, and crying for you to help me and you did nothing! My brothers did nothing! Avery did nothing!" She raised her voice, stepping closer to him as she reached forward and gave him a shove.
Regulus stumbled back and sucked in a deep breath. "I didn't think that would happen!" he cried, his dark eyes filled to the brim with tears as he straightened his back, standing taller than before she had shoved him. "When I gave Rodolphus that journal, I thought I was saving you. Protecting you from making the wrong choice."
"You're the one who gave her up?"
Romina looked behind Regulus to find where the new voice was coming from.
Regulus didn't have to look. He knew who it was.
Sirius was standing there, rage written all over his face as his fists clenched tightly by his sides. James, Remus, and Peter stood behind him and Romina couldn't help but feel a little bit of fluttering – the good kind – in her belly. They had come after her and she knew it was to check on her wellbeing.
At some point Regulus did that sort of thing for her. And it broke her heart, absolutely tore it to shreds, that he betrayed her.
"Answer me, Regulus." Sirius walked closer now. Romina could see that he was flexing his fingers and tightening them back into a fist.
Regulus stepped off to the side and faced his brother. "I did it to protect her from the likes of you people."
"The only person she needed to be protected from is you. It's like I don't know you at all. You have turned into such an insufferable prat, Reg."
Regulus rolled his eyes. "She chose you, aren't you happy? She chose you and now she's on the wrong side of everything."
Romina stared at Regulus. She wasn't looking at his face but staring at his left arm. Something dark was hidden beneath his uniform and then his robes. She knew what it was that lurked beneath all his clothing. She knew what was marked, permanently, on his skin. She instantly felt sick, covering her mouth with one hand as the other rested on her stomach.
"We should probably leave before McGonagall comes and finds us." Remus spoke up from the back of the group.
Peter was standing beside him, nervously twiddling his thumbs as he watched the scene unfold.
"Mina, come on, lets go check out your new digs for this year." James grinned at the younger girl, hoping he could help transition her from this painful interaction to something happy.
Romina refused to move. She watched Regulus and Sirius face off against one another. Regulus went for his wand, but Sirius just cocked his arm back and slammed his fist into his younger brothers jaw. She gasped at the sound of it all, stepping further away with tears in her eyes.
Regulus stumbled back at the impact of Sirius' fist against his jaw, his hand clenching his wand even tighter as he whipped it out from his pocket and aimed it at his brothers face. "You'll regret doing that, blood traitor."
"Reggie! Stop!" Romina cried softly, "Please put that away. He's your brother. Stop." She had resorted to just about begging on her hands and knees for this to end.
"And you're just like him. I thought you were better than that. Do you know how hurt I was when I found that stupid diary under my bed?" Regulus' hand shook as he now directed the wand over at Romina. His eyes filled with tears, "I knew something was going on after that whole charade with Professor Grigorsky. I should have known you would pick him."
With the tip of his wand pointing at her, Romina froze. Her eyes were the only things on her that were moving as she looked over at Sirius who was fumbling to get his own wand out. When he looked up at her she shook her head, pleading silently with him to put it away.
"I didn't pick him, Reggie. I picked the light over darkness. I chose to live for myself. I am not like my family. I-I'm not like you. As much as I wished I was. I love- I loved you. So much."
Regulus lowered his wand, his hand continued to tremble at his side. He watched her for a moment and took another step back the moment Sirius joined her, reaching down to hold her hand in his firmly. With a sigh, Regulus put his wand back in his robes. "You both make me sick." He whispered, and with that being his final say on the matter he turned on his heel and fled the scene.
Romina tried to keep it together. The minute Sirius laced his fingers with her she let the floodgates open. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned and pressed her face into his chest to hide away from the stares full of pity coming from the others.
"It's okay, love. It'll be okay." Sirius whispered down to her. One arm wrapped around her waist as his other hand now cradled the back of her head.
He held her like this for a few minutes before the others joined them.
"More students are leaving the great hall. Let's get going, shall we?" James smiled down at Romina. "I've got to test out the bed. If it's more comfortable than the one I have in the dorms I might have to sleep over from time to time."
"Gross, James, you're not sleeping in my bed. You can't take it back, you know. That would be unfair!" Romina teased him through a sniffle, wiping her sleeve against her nose and cheeks before she started down the hallway with them.
Sirius kept close to her side as they ventured off to the special dormitory. He found himself watching her from the corner of his eye, a sigh escaping his lips at the sadness remaining in her eyes.
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Once they were inside, Romina smiled softly at realizing that Marlene was right. Her bags were already in the Head Boy dorm, James' belongings nowhere in sight.
"This still feels surreal. I feel bad for taking your special space, James. Are we certain that Dumbledore, and more importantly McGonagall, are going to be okay with this?"
Romina chewed at the inside of her lip as she sat down on the edge of the bed. She moved slowly, almost testing out whether or not she would be comfortable here. Her eyes landed on James as he already made himself comfortable in the armchair by the fireplace.
"Your bags wouldn't be here if there was an issue." Peter told her with an eager nod. The blonde sat beside her on the bed and offered another piece of treacle fudge.
"Peter has a point." Remus grinned, snagging a piece of fudge for himself before he took a spot in the other armchair across from James.
"He must have had this all planned out months ago. McGonagall, if anyone, would know how bad of an idea it would be to have James living in such close quarters with his darling Lilyflower." Sirius teased his best friend, laughing as he dove onto the bed to dodge a pillow coming straight for him.
James stuck his tongue out. "I'm not saying you're wrong, I mean let's face it you're probably right, but I'm still annoyed. Don't call her that. I am the only one who can call her that."
"James?" Romina spoke up, licking her lips to clean up the remaining smear of chocolate. Peter and his sweets were going to be the death of her. "You shouldn't even call her that." She let out a laugh at his reaction.
His hand slapped against his chest as he gasped, "Romina Lestrange. I am appalled that you have stooped so low to join in on making fun of me. I gave you that hangover potion! I'm giving you my bloody room. With its own bloody fireplace, might I add." He cried, and though he looked just a bit disappointed for a moment as he stared off into the fireplace, he turned to look at her with a smirk.
"I need you to talk to Lily for me. You're practically roommates now. Tell her that she should give me a chance. This is our last year. Just one date is all I'm asking for!"
"Just one?"
James jumped up from the chair, his hands nervously clasped together behind his back as he stared over at the redhead who stood in the doorway. It was obvious she heard everything and nonchalant as always, Peter made the observation out loud.
"I think she heard you, Prongs. Nows your chance, I guess."
"Thanks Pete." James groaned, covering his face now out of embarrassment.
Lily let out a soft laugh escape her lips as she glanced over at Romina with a quick wink. She turned to exit the room and silence fell back over the group.
"I think that was your cue, James." Romina told him, nodding over to the door. "Go ask her."
James looked dumbfounded, if only for a few more moments before he rushed through the room and out the doorway to follow Lily.
Remus chuckled and got up from his chair, "Well, that's also my cue. I'm going to go get settled in. We'll see you tomorrow, Mina."
Romina stood up and gave Remus a hug goodnight. They lingered against one another for a moment too long, atleast according to Sirius, as he watched them from his position at the head of the bed.
"I'll come with." Peter, set the remaining treacle fudge on her bedside table. "And leave that here for you." He grinned up at Romina, giving her a hug as he followed Remus out of the room.
Neither of them waited for Sirius, or even asked if he was coming with. Romina, though, turned to face him. "Sticking around?"
"If you don't mind."
"Of course not." Romina smiled, moving around the room to familiarize herself with where she would be living for the next school year. She kicked off her shoes and tossed her robes over the back of the wooden chair placed neatly before the desk.
"Are you alright?" Sirius called out to her, sitting up a bit more now so his back could rest against the ornate headboard of her bed.
"No." She quickly admitted, shaking her head. She walked back over to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress, and tugging off her knee-high socks before throwing them into the hamper at the foot of the bed. She shifted back to rest beside Sirius now, "But eventually I'll be alright."
Comfortable silence washed over them as they sat side by side. A part of her brain kept turning back to the moment they shared on her bed back at the Potter residence. Another instance where she was sure he was going to kiss her. She wasn't even sure when this kind of thinking started weaving its way into her mind. It was killing her to not know what Sirius was thinking of it all.
She turned her head to look over at him, a soft breath leaving her lips as she felt his hand slip into hers.
"I'll-I mean, we'll all be here for you. Every step of the way. I know it hurts but you made the right choice." He told her with a small smile. His hand squeezed hers firmly, his thumb gently brushed back and forth against the soft skin of the back of her hand.
"Thank you, Siri." She forced a smile, leaning over to gently press her lips against his cheek. She let them linger, just for a moment, the tip of her nose brushing against his skin before she sunk down and let her head rest against his chest.
"Always."