After both of you had a cold shower (together obviously) you were in your room waiting for Steve and Sam to return. You were wearing one of Bucky's shirts and pajama shorts that were barely visible under it. He was wearing a sweater and sweats, the usual.
You loved the feeling of the cold air on your face after a shower. You were leaning against the bed frame scrolling through your phone while Bucky had his head on your lap with his book above him. You would unconsciously ran your fingers through his wet hair while scrolling through your social media.
A sudden message appeared on your screen. You tucked a strand of damp hair behind your ear trying to see who it was from. It was from Sam.
Bad news kid, please don't be mad at Steve for what he's about to do.
You tensed up and furrowed your eyebrows.
"What's wrong?" Bucky saw your facial expression. You turned the phone screen to him. His eyes ran across the screen. He sat up and looked at you. "What does that mean?"
You shrugged with a worried look on your face.
You began typing a response to Sam, but the door bell rang. You got off your bed and Bucky fallowed you to the door. You slowly opened the door seeing Steve's face. In his hand he held a bag. His suit. You looked up at his face, squinting trying to see any sign of a certain emotion..
His lip was busted, eye bruised, cuts everywhere.
"Steve are you alright?" You stared at him in shock.
"Doll," Bucky moved you by the arm so Steve could come in. After him Sam followed locking the door. You let out a sigh of relief, he looked much better than Steve. He had a bit of blue under his eye and a few cuts.
"Sam what happened?"
He shook his head staying quiet.
"Bucky's leaving tomorrow." Steve said dropping his bag.
"What!?" You exclaimed.
"Steve-"
"He's leaving tomorrow. End of conversation."
Steve walked away and Bucky went on to follow him muttering something. You turned to Sam.
"Sam?"
"I'm sorry kid." He let out a breathe.
"What happened?"
"Y/N this is what you're gonna do ok?"
"Wha- Sam,"
"Sshhh you're not listening."
"Ok what."
"Tomorrow after we send Bucky off to Steve's friend or whatever you're gonna get your stuff, call Stark and leave." Sam instructed.
"Leave? Leave where?"
"Anywhere, it doesn't matter. Just make sure Stark knows you're not with us."
You laughed "Your kidding right?"
"You can leave to the Avengers compound, get your own house, leave to live with Stark just anything but here, do you understand?"
"Sam what happened?" You repeated.
"The Avengers...we're done."
"Done!? What do you mean done?"
"Steve is sending Bucky away as fast as possible before Stark goes after him. It's not safe for him to be here right now."
"Did you guys fight? Is this about the accords that you mentioned in D.C?"
"Yes, yes it is Y/N please pack your things. Now."
"I-uh-Sam-"
Sam came over to your and hugged you tightly. "Y/N I love you so much. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I promise everything will be alright."
You hugged him back confused as ever. You haven't even processed anything yet.
"I-I love you too Sam." Was all you managed to say.
Sam left to his room and just at that moment Bucky left Steve's. It's not like he had tears in his eyes, but his face said enough.
"Bucky?"
He wiped his eyes with the back of his head nodding.
You walked over to him and he instantly wrapped his hands around you.
He was full on sobbing at this point. Tears quietly ran down your cheeks as you tried to comfort him. You've never seen, or more like heard, Bucky this sad. Before he would just sob quietly but now, he was full on crying.
You swallowed the painful feeling in your throat. This didn't feel real. None of this felt real.
"This isn't fair." He whimpered. "This isn't fair."
He let go of you and threw a punch at the nearest wall. With his non metal hand.
"Bucky!" You shouted running over to him.
You took his injured hand seeing his knuckles white with small spots of blood.
You quickly wiped your tears trying to stop yourself from crying. He fell to his knees giving you a jump scare.
"God." You kneeled down next to him. "Bucky."
He relaxed his hand. causing it to fall out of yours, and screwed his eyes shut sobbing.
You took his hand, that was now covered in crimson red blood.
"Bucky," you whispered.
He whimpered dropping his head on your shoulder. That was it. This was the end of your line. You were sad but you knew this was the right thing to do, it would keep Bucky safe.
You saw something with the corner of your eye. It was Steve in the kitchen hallway. He had an apologizing look on his face. You didn't blame him. Not for this. He just wanted Bucky to be safe from Stark, and if the fact that he killed his parents is true he should probably do so.
The hardest part was explaining all of this to Bucky. It wasn't fair that his own life was being under control, but on the other hand this was going to help him be able to continue it.
You helped Bucky up and took him to your room where he soon calmed down.
You left to the kitchen to get disinfector and a bandage. You ended up walking in on Sam and Steve having a conversation.
"So anyone want to explain what happened?"
You said searching through the kitchen cabinets.
"Me and Tony got into a big disagreement." Steve said.
"Yeah I can see that. Your face tells me he won."
"No one won."
"This is where I disagree, we're fugitives now and everyone who is associating with us is too. That's why I'm telling you to get your things and go."
Sam added.
"Nat already left. No one knows where she is and we can't track her phone." Steve sighed.
"That's probably a good thing." You admitted.
"She was on Starks side. Well, sort of."
You found the things you needed and you were about to leave when Steve said "Im sorry Y/N, I don't want to take him away from you, but this is the right thing to do."
"I know." You nodded. "Im more concerned about the fact why this became the right thing to do." You left the kitchen locking the door to your room.
"You ok?" You sat down next to Bucky on the edge of your bed. He nodded looking up at you. His big eyes glistened, cheeks wet from tears. You pursed your lips and wiped his cheek with your thumb. He leaned into your touch closing his eyes.
Bucky didn't want to leave. You could tell. Even if he wasn't conscious during his time away. In fact it made it even scarier for him. You let go of his cheek and began wrapping his hand up.
"Let's run away." He said, catching you completely off guard. You furrowed your eyebrows "What?"
"Let's just leave New York and go some place else. A place where no one would even think to go looking for us."
You shook your hand. He was crazy.
"Why not?" He shrugged.
"Cause this is crazy, this is an absolutely not sensible and a not thought out idea, Bucky. It will only take Tony days to find you."
"We both don't want me to go, right? Let's just lea-"
"Bucky I want you to go!" You lashed out. "It's not safe for you to be in New York or any other place for the matter, not just because Stark probably wants you dead but because you're still not in control of your mind."
He just sat there listening to what you had to say.
"It'll be so much safer for you to be under cryo and under protection. I don't know who Steve's friend is who he went to go visit, but I'm sure they'll keep you safe."
He nodded, looking down.
You finished with his hand and put the rest of the bandages away.
You sat back down next to him, facing the same direction. "Bucky," you said quietly. "You know I love you very much. Please don't be mad at me, I know we were supposed to have more time together, but right now this is the best decision."
He sniffled.
"You know I'd give my life for you, but I really want you to have your own mind back."
"Bucky don't be-"
"I'm not mad!" He yelled.
"Sorry." He added quietly. You knitted your eyebrows "I'm sorry that you have to go through this, if I could do something I would."
"You can you just don't want to."
"For fucks sake Barnes I have your goddam initials permanently tattooed on my shoulder!" You shouted. "Can't you see this is better for you? Everyone around you cares so much."
Your sadness was turning into anger, and you didn't even know it. So much has happened during the two years of him being gone that your feelings were just all mixed up constantly.
"You can leave. But I'm not going with you." You said swallowing. That wasn't true. If he was going to leave you'd go right after him. He turned away dropping his head. You sort of regretted saying that. You put your hand on his back.
"You'll be ok. I'll wait I promise."
"What if when I wake up you're gone? You can't promise me something you don't control Y/N."
You sighed.
He was right.
You drew little shapes on his back with your hand. All of this was so unfair. Why you? Why now? Guess life's never fair, that's just how it is.
"Let's go to bed." You said getting up.
"Why? Cause I have a long day tomorrow? I'm literally going back to sleep for years Y/N, I'm not tired." He said coldly. You sighed rubbing your face and leaving to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
After brushing your teeth you changed into your pajamas. While you were changing shirts Bucky noticed the bruise on your waist from his metal hand, but chose not to say anything. He already felt bad enough about yelling at you earlier.
You got under the covers and got your phone out. "Get the lights will you?" You said.
He flipped the switch next to the night stand and the room went dark. A bit of your face was glowing from your phone. You were sitting up right on your bed, back leaning against the bed frame.
You heard the sheets shuffle next to you and then a hand around your waist. You smiled to yourself and put your hand down on Bucky's head.
"I'm sorry." He said in a muffled voice. You brushed your fingers through his hair.
"Yeah so am I."
You went through your contacts one last time before turning your phone off and tossing it on the night stand next to your side of the bed. You wriggled down to Bucky's level, so that the both of you were face to face. You could just about make out his features in the dark.
You put your hand on his cheek and traced your thumb up and down. He let out a small breathe and closed his eyes. You felt him pull you in by your waist closer to him. You squeezed your head under his arm so that you were sort of hugging him.
"You ever seen the fossil with the lizard and the mouse?" You said quietly.
"No." He chuckled lightly.
"It's called the Triassic cuddle."
"It's not a mouse, they don't know what it is, just a mammal and a Brommistega." You heard the small smile in his voice.
"How do you know all this? You were supposed to just say no and I'd describe it to you and then you'd realize how cute it was."
"Ah ok. No I don't."
"No it's not interesting anymore, besides you already know what it is." You answered.
"What were you gonna say after?"
"I was gonna say how I felt like the mouse with the lizard. Like it was the end of the world and it's just the two of us."
"I think the story behind that wa-"
"Shut up." You put a hand over his mouth.
"Yes I get it, you're smart and how do you know all this? I don't know. Do I wanna know? No. Just act dumb for like a second." You put you hand back to where it was.
"Okay," he grinned "I'll be quiet."
"Don't be quiet,"
"You literally just told me-"
"I meant like stop being smart-"
"Yeah but you said-"
"Buuuckkyyyy," you groaned.
"Ok ok ok." He quickly said.
"I don't want you to like stop talking, like the opposite actually," you rambled. "I wanna remember your voice and your laugh. The way you wrinkle your nose when I do something stupid. Your hand in mind, both metal and not."
He gave you a sad smile, that you luckily didn't see.
"Never thought I'd hear anyone say that to me, especially after everything."
"Especially not from a person you tried to kill when you first met," you giggled.
"Oh my god," he buried his face in a pillow.
"It's okay, I almost let you bleed to death so I'm guessing we're even."
He lifted his head back up.
There was a few seconds of nothing, until he leaned in and kissed you. Your eyes slowly closed and you felt euphoria fill you from inside.
The feeling that Bucky gave you when he was around was indescribable. He broke the kiss with his hand on your face. Your heart was beating quickly and your stomach was full of butterflies.
"Wanna skip the sleep?"