YOUR POV:
"You were at that party, wasted, drunk out of your mind living it up like a rockstar. You were supposed to be with me. You were supposed to be there holding my hand reassuring me and holding me while we went to check for a heartbeat that wasn't there."
"Y/n!" Megan shouted my name and I snapped out of my head.
"Mhm?" I hummed.
"You there?" Megan asked, giving me a look.
I nodded, "I'm here. Sorry I must have zoned out."
"Yeah for like ten minutes. That's gotta be a record." Travis joked, taking a sip of his coffee while the three of us sat outside eating.
"What are you writing?" Megan asked me while I kept scribbling on the napkin.
"Lyrics. They kinda just hit me.. Could be a chorus I guess. Oh the joys of writing music." I breathed.
"Can I see?" Megan asked.
I nodded and turned my napkin towards her, hoping that she could read my chicken scratch handwriting.
So fuck me like a Rockstar
Dancin' on a cop car
Nothin' in the world can stop me now
Fucked up like a Rockstar
Ridin' in a cop car
No one in the world can help me now
"Definitely thinking it's a chorus." Megan smiled, pushing the napkin towards me.
"What are you guys doing over there? Drawing each other's nudes or something? Let me see these lyrics." Travis grabbed the napkin, "Always so secretive."
Megan and I laughed while he read over the lyrics, agreeing it would be a cool chorus and told me if I needed any help that he would be there. I appreciated it a lot. Living with Megan and getting to have this lifestyle, felt good. It felt good in the sense that I found my calling, I found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and I'm glad it worked out for me. I'm still gonna work my ass off but I'm happy. And Megan.. I don't know. She was very attractive and that much was a given. But some part of her made me feel at peace differently than chloe. Chloe's puzzle pieces fit my own puzzle pieces, Megan's just fit differently.
My mind was all over the place. My heart was all over the place and I didn't really want to listen to either of them right now. The only feeling I had was to run away from it all. Bury myself into my music. Make music all the time, tour the world, go to parties and mingle, never emotionally invest long enough to have sex and do it till I died. That seemed logical.. Right?
I sighed lowly, not knowing how to even start talking about the way I was feeling. I wanted to blame it all on Megan. If Megan wasn't so fucking attractive and compassionate then I wouldnt be feeling things that felt wrong and yet so right to feel. And by feeling these things the guilt creeps in and I think about Chloe. Thinking of Chloe makes me angry and sad and then I just want to go and listen to that logic and run away.
My heart rate jumped and the kick made my chest jump. Every hair on the back of my neck was standing up and I was becoming increasingly aware of everything happening around me. I wanted out.
Megan looked at me, the words coming out of Travis mouth were becoming nothing but mush and for some reason I instantly thought it was the color blue. Fuck I want sensory overload to stop before I can't.
The actress gently ran her fingers down my arm, tracing the tattoos as she went. My eyes closed, the delicate touch of her acrylic nails ever so slightly digging into my skin was euphoria. Her nails went down my arm and grabbed my fingers within hers. Opening my palm she traced the length of each finger and I breathed in deeply, exhaling calmly.
My heart rate was coming down, my chest steadying and my mind, all the thoughts, quieting down and becoming beautiful things. When she was done with my hand she placed it on her thigh as a way to let me know that she was there. Her hand clasped over my knee where I stopped bouncing my leg up and down.
I opened my eyes to find her already looking at me. It was striking. It was pure. But it was fleeting. I looked away, squeezing her thigh in thanks before removing my hand.
"You guys weren't listening to anything I was saying, huh?" Travis blurted out.
I zoned back in, lazily looking at Travis, "No, Barker, I wasn't. I'm sorry."
"I'm dealing with a hangover y/n, I don't need to deal with your bullshit either. Can we try this again and this time you pretend to be interested?" He asked with a pout.
I chuckled lightly, grabbing my cup, "You want me to make my eyes get all wide and twinkly? Maybe get on the very edge of my seat just eager to hear more? You want me to lean my head on both my hands and gaze at you like you're the coolest person in the whole universe?"
"I mean... it would be nice." The drummer shrugged and Megan giggled.
I took a sip of my tea and shook my head, "How about no."
"Fuck you y/n." Travis chuckled, bringing his phone up to capture the moment and I flipped him off.
CHLOE'S POV:
It was dark. My mouth was dry as I reached for my two day old water, the crinkling sound of the saltine cracker plastic under my arm and my fan were the only noises in my room. It was quiet and it was dark. I was only a little cold but I wondered if this is what death felt like. Was it this peaceful?
Stop Chloe...
With a groan I sat up on my elbow a little more so I could open the water, twisting the cap and huffing to myself when the cap fumbled and fell onto the floor. I brought the bottle up to my dry and cracked lips, letting the warm room temperature water to glide down my throat. Finishing off that water bottle I knew I had another one somewhere on the nightstand. It was kinda cute how when humans were sad they collected water bottles (or other things like dishes, pop cans). The army of water bottles in my dorm seemed to be my only friends.
Don't say that...
Aubrey and Beca were very good about checking on me. It was annoying. I just wanted to be sad. But then I hated being sad because I didn't wanna be sad over y/n. It was an ongoing cycle to the point where I just didn't wanna think about it. Sometimes I swore I could still smell y/ns cologne on my pillows. Her bright pink BIC lighter was left here and I would just sit and stare at it for the longest.
I think one of the biggest reasons I was sad was because I couldn't do what women had the power to do and that was to create a baby. I mean did y/n think I wasn't good enough because of that? I guess we all know what she thinks if she's out there fucking Megan Fox.
Bet she isn't even using protection! Swear to god if Megan Fox gets pregnant with y/n's baby I'm gonna... be happy for them. Right?
Tears welled in my eyes and I didn't like the scenarios coming to life in my head right now. Maybe they would If I could stop dwelling on it. But when you're drowning and your favorite person isn't there to save you, they can't blame you for changing.
But why expect them to always have you? The only person that got you is you.
Because you love her. That's why you expected so much.
"I love-"
"Chloe?" Aubrey knocked, coming in and I stopped talking, "Chloe are you awake?"
I just grunted in response.
"I can't see you Chloe, it's too dark in here. I'm gonna turn the light on." Aubrey huffed lightly, going to head towards the light switch but knocking into everything and cursing under her breath, "Okay I'm turning the light on in three, two-"
"Just turn the light on Aubrey, it doesn't need to be a dramatic reveal." I huffed, sitting up in bed with a frown on my face as the blonde turned on the light.
"Okay well I was just trying to let your eyes adjust." She held her hands up in defense, "Oh my god Chlo, your room is a mess."
"I'm gonna be honest, I don't know how it got like this because I've been in my bed the entire time." I mumbled, looking around at the mess of clothes, the army of water bottles, and food containers.
"You should get up and go out." Aubrey suggested.
"You mean like out of bed? Outside? Out where?"
"Like outside. That froyo place that you love is selling the massive cups for five dollars all day long."
"Are you trying to coax me out of bed with ice cream?" I raised my eyebrow at her.
"It could be fun and it might make you feel better." My best friend smiled.
I fell back onto my bed with a loud groan, "Fine. But you have to help me wash my hair because it's gonna take me too long and I'm not gonna wanna do it and I'll cry. Because the thought of taking a shower is very overwhelming and I don't want to do it but I will do it if you help me." I sniffled.
Aubrey grabbed my hand and squeezed it, "Of course I will help you."
I squeezed her hand back, "I'm really gonna miss you when you graduate."
— • —
I was clean and I looked worse than I thought I did but thanks to Aubrey she made me look decent. I was wearing some clean clothes and a sweatshirt that wasn't y/ns. Aubrey threw that one in the trash and I wasn't going to tell her about the other ones that I had and didn't wanna let go of. It was the only way I could sleep. We made it to the frozen yogurt place and I had to try and stop thinking about the times y/n and I would come here but that seemed to be all I saw. All those black and white memories.
Aubrey grabbed two massive bowls and handed me one with a smile. Quietly I thanked her and looked at my options, already knowing which one y/n would get if she were here. Which one would our little girl or boy get?
Stop Chloe.. Stop. Now. I sucked in a breath and decided to just get vanilla. I didn't feel like making any choices and went plain. When my bowl was full, I let go of the handle and went to follow Aubrey to the toppings when my face slammed right into some guy's toned chest. My frozen yogurt fell to the ground and his face went into his.
"I am so so sorry!" The guy husked, seeming sincere in his apology, "You'd think being this tall I could see what I was doing but I'm sorry. Let me get you a new one?"
I was going to cry about my spilled frozen yogurt since it was one of those days. Months. Years. You know. But I couldn't cry after seeing how adorable he looked with some cookies and cream froyo smeared on his nose.
"A new one sounds nice. Here, you got a little on your nose there." I let my lips curl up into a small smile, handing him some napkins.
"Thanks." The ebony haired man took them and cleaned his face, "All better?"
A small laugh bubbled past my lips and I nodded, "Yep."
"I'm Tyler by the way. And sorry again for the... yeah."
"Chloe. It's okay. It's been one of those days so I'm not surprised." I chuckled, grabbing the bowl off the floor and throwing it in the trash, using some napkins to wipe off my fingers.
"You know painting is good for letting out your emotions." He said.
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. It can be scary just you and this blank white canvas having a staring contest, but it's therapy just letting your brush glide across the emptiness. You're letting your thoughts come to life. And then after you can either hang it up or smash it and feel better."
"Seems you really know your stuff." I commented.
His cheeks flushed red and he had a hard time making eye contact, "I'm sorry. I talk a lot when I get nervous."
I smiled in return, telling him what flavor I wanted and he let the bowl fill, "Well I've never painted like that before. It sounds lovely."
"You never what?" Tyler gasped, "We need to change that. You have to experience it at least once in your life."
"I don't know..." i trailed off being a tease.
"You'll love it and if not then you can at least say you tried something new."
"Alright. I'll think about it." I told him.
His eyes lit up and he smiled, "Awesome! Here's my phone, I need your number if I'm gonna change your life."
I couldn't help but laugh at that as we exchanged numbers and he paid for my frozen yogurt and we said goodbye.
"Well he was a hottie." Aubrey commented when we were in the car.
"Shut up Aubrey."
a/n: there's chloe's pov. first impression of tyler and go