Sitting in the back chair of the cab, my eyes were fixed in the window just looking at the buildings without really noticing a thing, I was a bit nervous, I have never been in a party here before so I didn’t know what to expect, how will it be. All the way, I was lost in my thoughts, quiet, we haven’t exchanged a single word, each one of us in his own world, it’s like we were together but not together at the same time.
-We have arrived, C’mon.
Yousef's voice brought back to reality, as I was standing in front of the hotel door, it was a classic hotel with a brick façade divided into three parts. It tells and brings a lot of memories of a period that haven’t been forgotten.
We walked to the hall, he went straight to the reception asked about the party, then the receptionist showed him where it’s, he came back to me as I was still standing in the middle of the hall alone.
-Let’s go, it’s this way.
I nodded with my head, smiling.
-Why are you so nervous, this is a party, not a conference!!
-Hmm . How would you understand, half of your life is parties and drinks, of course I said that to myself while we were heading to the saloon.
Once we were inside, I looked around me for a familiar face, but they were so many people there that I didn’t know any of them, all I could see was a black suit mostly and dresses with different colors everywhere, at that particular moment I was glad that I wasn’t alone there, that my husband was with me, I smiled to that though, I felt relief.
-Haven’t you recognize anyone yet?
-No, not yet.
-Okay, I will go to bring us something to drink.
Before I could say a thing he was already gone, and I was there alone listening to the music, it was calm and soft; instrumental music, I was relieved, it least there are not songs that make a lot of noises, but something calm and relaxing, I kept looking everywhere until I saw Clara, she was with a bunch of people that I didn’t know, talking, laughing with them.
-Here is yours. Then he hands me a cup
-What is that?
-A champagne.
My eyes widened, then I rolled them in disbelief and sighed
-You know I don’t drink anything alcoholic.
He laughs, then said: Just tonight, try it, you won’t lose anything.
-No, thanks. I said in a firm voice, I was really pissed off, I mean just try, it’s like it’s fine and okay when it’s not.
-As you want, it’s your lost.
He hasn’t said a thing after that and just drank them both.
After a couple of minutes, he finally said:
-I think I saw an old friend there, I will go to say hi, stay here I won’t take long.
And with that, he left again, leaving me alone, I felt so bad, so strange, I don’t belong here, in this party, I was a stranger, and I did look different with my scarf on my head, I was so alone in a room crowded, full of people, that feeling was killing me.
-Hey you, won’t you take off that of your head, don’t you have a hair or it’s that ugly !!!
I turned to see a man that I didn’t know or saw before, he had nothing in particular, except being rude, so I tried to ignore him and didn’t respond, but that didn’t make him leave, he came and stood in front of me now.
-Why are you so shy, darling? Or you can’t speak?
Oh My Lord, what I’m going to do, Ya Allah Please help me, I am so alone without you, please don’t leave me, make him go away,
I tried to look for my husband with my eyes but couldn’t see him
-Hiii, LEAVE HER ALONE TOM. I heard a woman yelling
-Oh, the big boss girl, why are you so angry? Is she your friend?
- I SAID LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU DO NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH ME WHEN I AM ANGRY.
-Okay, Clara, relax, I’m leaving. And he walked away.
-Hey, Thank you, Clara, you saved my life.
-Oh, Don’t worry, she said smiling, he is really rude and a jerk. No one likes him, I definitely don’t, I’m so sorry that you had to meet him.
-Yeah, It’s fine, he is gone and hopefully won’t come back.
-Don’t worry, he won’t. Then she stopped for a few minutes before she added, “ So are you enjoying the party so far?
-“Yep, it’s okay”. I said smiling, trying to look convincing, but I don’t think I succeeded then I said to change the humor: “So you’re the big boss girl ? I asked, laughing.
She laughed too and said: “Yes, that is how they call me, even though my husband doesn’t appreciate it much”.
-“Yes, I can understand that, is he here ?”
-No, unfortunately, he had to stay with John, we couldn’t find a nanny, what about yours?
-He is here, with an old friend. Once I said that, I saw him with two young women, talking and laughing, I felt so warm, so angry like I am going to explode, what is he doing with them and an old friend, Seriously and I had believed that.
-Well, okay. I wish to meet him later, now I have to go, there are a couple of people that knows me here and I still haven’t talked to them yet, I will see you later.
-Yes, sure thing.
Once she left, I head straight to my husband, I had made my mind, I won’t stay in this stupid party another minute, it’s time to go.
I walked fast, let my anger lead me, Oh, Ya Allah !! Help me to control it, help me so I wouldn’t say or do anything wrong or bad, Please Ya Allah, don’t let me lose it.
Once I reached him I called him by his name, but he didn’t turn around or answer me at all, so I went closer, changed my place so I would stand in front of him, not behind me now , then I said :
-Yousef, I’m leaving.
His face had changed, he looked surprised not expecting to see me there for only a few minutes, then his face was back to normal so quickly and said:
-Okay, I guess I will see you later then. Have a good night.
One of the women turned to him with a question mark on her face wondering who I was, before he answered her I had already walked away, but I wasn’t that far, so I could hear very well what he said and guess what I’m his cousin who came a few days ago to London, and he brought me here to cheer me up, Wooow !! That was really good Yousef, he is a really good Liar, he didn’t panic or anything, he was so sure and so confident that no one would doubt it.
I walked to the outside, it was already dark, I took my phone to call a cab but before I could do that, I heard someone talking to me:
-Miss Brini,
I took my eyes away from my phone, to see a black cab in front of me, the driver standing in front of the door then he said again: Are not you Miss Brini?
-Yes, that’s me. I said smiling, trying to hide my feelings behind it.
He opened the door, then said: Get in Please.
And that is exactly what I did, the driver went back to his seat and drive me home, he already has the address, I said to myself this must be my husband, I mean, who else would call me a cab, know that I left the party and also know my address except Yousef, well at least he done something right for once, even this is not enough as an apologize for his behavior and for leaving me to come back home alone.
All The way home, I replayed the party in my head over and over, with every single detail, I felt so sad and angry, disappointed, why does he keep acting like this? Why does he treat me this bad? What have I done wrong? When did I hurt him, I know I’m not perfect, but to this point, whenever I had hope that things will get better between us, he will crash it, destroy it in the worse most cruel possible way, why does he keep killing all the hope seeds I plant !!? For how long I am going to let his feet step in my dignity and erase it ? Ya Allah ! How much can I take more?? This is hard, truly hard, perhaps the hardest thing I had to deal with.
I lost the track of time and didn’t realize until I was standing in front of our home, Our Home, is it truly our home? Is it my home? Or I’m just lying to myself, am I Just a temporary visitor? Is this truly home because my heart is definitely not there, not in it? If so, am I a homeless who live in a house ?
Salam Guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, Lets me know what you think of the caracters, the story so far.
Thank you for reading <3 <3
Ps: The side Photo is the actual hall of the Hotel.