<A/N at end pretty please!>
"Let's mess with this chick, she's gullible enough, and thinks that everything is a fucking dream."
"Let's do it."
~~~
"Are you serious?" I ask Harry after he told me I should take the class. I was looking at him like he had two heads, this was unlike him.
"Yes, and be prepared because after this we are going to a party." Harry says quickly before I get out of the car and knock on Liam's door. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to a party, but maybe I'd get to know people. Maybe it could be fun.
Liam opens the door moments later with a happy smile on his face. It was nice how he was always so happy even when the world was so corrupt. "Hey." Liam says and welcomes me in. His mother is in the kitchen, and I am happy to see her.
"Hello, Karen. How are you?" I ask her. Once Karen sees me her face lights up. I wonder if it was because she wanted a daughter.
"I'm well Sarah, how are you?" Karen pulls me into a warm hug. The hug that my mother never gave me.
"I'm well, thank you. You look lovely." Karen always looked like the perfect mother and wife. It was nice to see her care so deeply about family, and friends.
"You should've seen her before you came here, she was covered in flour." Liam chimes in the conversation. He had been standing in the kitchen with us the whole time, and I was enjoying this care free time.
"Oh hush up Liam! Isn't there a game on tv you could watch." Karen hits Liam with a dish towel and I can't help but giggle. "Why don't you go tell Derek that Sarah is here." Liam groans and moves from his spot and walks down the hall. The house was always spotless, and nicely decorated. I couldn't help but think it was Karen's little touches, telling me what she likes most. "You look beautiful." Karen says.
I was wearing a navy blue dress and blazer over top. The weather was getting warmer, and I wanted to start wearing more of my summer wardrobe. Summer was always my favorite time of the year. It was also the Fourth of July that made me giddy. I'd always used to say that the fireworks exploding in the sky were everybody's dreams coming alive. It was silly, but it was my weird, and my silly. Is that so wrong?
"Hello Sarah. How are you?" Mr. Lance walks in wearing a sweater vest with a button up under, and khakis on. He looked handsome and all I could think was that Karen was lucky.
"I'm well, thank you." We spend some time small talking in the kitchen, and Karen brings up what she wants to do for Easter. I hadn't really ever had a proper Easter dinner, not because we weren't exactly "catholic" but because my mother always fought with my grandma at family dinners.
"Shall we discuss your classes?" Mr. Lance asks. I nod my head and we head down the hall and into Mr. Lance's study. It was just as I remembered it, very clean and neatly decorated. "Have you decided what classes you might want to dabble in." I've known what classes I wanted to take since an hour ago, and I just hope they aren't full.
"Yes I was hoping to take the classic literary discussion class. Now I know it is for sophomore and up, and I know that it is pretty late in the year. But my passion for classical literature is what makes me want to take this class more than any other class." This class was really the only one I wanted to take, it defined me perfectly.
"The class does still have open spots, and I do indeed think that this class would suite you best." I was glad that Mr. Lance agreed with me and saw the potential I had. He saw someone in me that others need to take awhile to look for.
"So I could take it, if I wanted to?" I was in disbelief that this was handed to me so easily, nothing has ever came to me easily. I always thought it had been my fault, for not being a smart person, for not making good decisions, and for letting myself grow up with no role models.
"Yes, Sarah you can." Mr. Lance laughs and I look at him confused. "You've never been handed happiness so easily, have you?" Mr. Lance was one of the only people that could decode who I was in an instant, it was extraordinary.
"Honestly, no. Nothing has ever been handed over to me, and I've always thought it was my fault. I always thought I was doing something totally wrong, but it just ended up being my bad decision making that made life a living hell." I wanted to be honest with Mr. Lance, but I didn't want him to be disappointed in who I was, who I turned out to be.
"Everybody makes mistakes, but the good thing about mistakes is they teach you what you've done wrong. They push your life into a better path. You shouldn't be judged for the mistakes you have made." He was right. I shouldn't let the mistakes I've made define my life, I have to keep moving forwards towards a better future.
"How do you know about all this good advice?" I ask Mr. Lance. He just looks at me and raises his brow. He's probably wondering why I asked the chancellor of a university this question.
"When you have a school full of students that make endless mistakes, you learn a few things. You learn what to say to them when you want to inspire them." The words Mr. Lance are saying are inspiring me to keep moving forward, and accomplish great things.
"Kids at that school are extremely lucky to receive your great advice." I was being honest with Mr. Lance and I was thinking that my years at this college would be pleasurable.
"Well, I think you have everything you need to start school on Monday. I hope you enjoy your time at the university, and if you have any troubles please just contact me Sarah." I nod my head and thank Mr. Lance one last time before walking back out to Liam and Karen in the kitchen.
"You ready to go?" Liam asks when I walk back to him. I nod and we head out the door after our goodbyes to Karen and Mr. Lance. "So, how'd it go?" Liam starts the car and we drive down the street.
"Amazingly. Mr. Lance is a great educator, and advice giver." I say praising him. Liam only laughs and I laugh with him. "What?" I ask still laughing.
"You must really like him." Oh god. It wasn't the way Liam thought it was. I just felt like Mr. Lance was just like me as a child. He was ambitious, and made mistakes. He was a normal person like the rest of us.
I swat Liam's arm and he laughs. Why have I been goofing off so much lately? Honestly, it felt great, it felt freeing and liberating. Maybe some time away from town was what I needed. I just needed some time away from all negativity. "Are you planning on going to a party tonight?" I asked Liam. Harry had told me that we needed to party afterwards to celebrate. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to end up back where I started.
"I don't know maybe. I heard it was going to be a big one." A big party was the last thing I needed, but maybe it could be fun. Harry did invite me.
"Harry said I should go to meet new people. What do you think?" The last thing I wanted to do was make another mistake I didn't need to fix. I didn't have time to fix anymore mistakes. Honestly, I was mentally drained.
"It might be fun, but on the other hand it might be disastrous." He was right this could either end in burning flames, or all new adventures. Should I risk it?
"You're right. I probably shouldn't risk it." We pull into the apartment building, and I can spot Harry's car in the lot. It was probably the shiniest car I've ever seen and I could spot it from miles away. "Thanks for the ride. Maybe I'll see you later." I get out of the car and Liam says goodbye. The lobby in the apartment is empty as always, and I couldn't help but feel like this was how I wanted to live. Independently. One day I will live in my own apartment, and I'll have a mind of my own. I'll make all my decisions, and I'll live happily no matter what happens.
The elevator door opens and I step into the empty box. "She was all alone in this little space. It was like she was all alone in her mind". My mind was writing a story of its own right now. My mind was full of colorful ideas, and imaginative story lines. "I've always known you would be born into greatness" My father always told me I was destined to become something amazing someday. He had always drilled the word someday into my head, to remember that it will happen someday.
I step out of the elevator and into the hallway. I felt as if a new person had just been born and it was liberating. I haven't acted this way in a long while and it felt good. Like I was going back to the start.
Harry opens the apartment door seconds after I knock. "How'd it go?" He asks right when I walk into the living room. All I do is look at him and give him a smile.
"We might be in the same class." I was probably acting like the most excited child on Christmas morning. Harry is trying to fight off a smile at how silly I'm being, but I'm just happy. I'm happy again.
"Oh how great." Harry probably isn't that thrilled about being in the same class as me, but I know he'll get over it. "I'm leaving, see you when I get back." Oh. I thought he had invited me to go with him earlier. I knock the idea out of my head and focus on my future.
"I'll see you later." Harry leaves after that and I am left alone in the apartment. Louis and Niall weren't home either, they were probably at the party with Harry. I wonder if Liam was going tonight. Maybe he could pick me up?
Why was I now obsessing about going to a party? I used to hate this stuff, I used to hate myself. Maybe I was getting sick, that must be it.
I decide to text Liam and ask what he's up to.
Sarah: You going to that party?
I ask Liam with a text. I hope he responds, and I secretly hope he doesn't go so we can hang out.
Liam: Yea, I'm leaving now. Pick you up in 5?
It was like Liam read my mind. I was thankful to have a friend like him, and I hope that this is long term. Liam reminded me of Kristina in some way.
Kristina always supported me, and listened to my problems. She would at times call me whiny, but that only made me stronger. She was a criticizer, and a judger, but it was all in good spirit. She was a good spirit. I can't help but wonder what she is doing right now at this moment.
There's a knock at the door and I instantly know it's Liam coming to get me. I look into a mirror before opening the door. "Let's go." I say rushing excitedly out the door. I couldn't wait to see the look on Harry's face when he sees me there.
"So, now you want to go?" Liam questions. I know I must sound like a crazy person, because just thirty minutes ago I was debating with myself on whether to go.
"I know it sounds crazy, but I'm tired of just sitting in all night. I want to meet new people, make some friends." Liam nods in response and I can see that he is understanding now. I liked the friends I had now, I just wanted to also build on it.
We pull into the frat house from last weekend. It seemed as though this was where all the big parties were held on campus. "Are all the parties the same here?" I ask Liam and he just simply nods.
"They're kinda crazy." I believed him. The parties here always had drunk teens and clothes on the yard, but it's typical. I'm used to it by now, always have been.
We walk into the house and I can't spot Louis, or Niall anywhere. There were so many people in one place right now that I was getting excused. Although there was still one person I could make out in every crowd. The green eyes meet mine, and he walks towards me looking confused, but mostly angry.
I convinced myself that I was ready for the blow, even though I knew I certainly wasn't.
~Hey guys. I have finals soon and I'm low key freaking
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~That's all I got for now. I'm going to go die now because exams. Love you all!