You were taking a nap on the couch while Bucky read a book next to you. Steve already returned from his walk and Sam was going to be back from his sisters place in about an hour.
"Hey," Bucky said quietly giving you a light push. You opened your eyes sitting up. "Huh?"
He moved a strand of hair out of your face.
"Do you want to go out for a stroll?"
"I was just sleeping, Bucky." You rubbed your eyes.
"Yeah uh sorry I just didn't know how long you were going to be asleep for." He said.
"Yeah, yeah okay. Just give me like ten minutes to get ready."
"Oh cmon it's just for a couple of minutes you look great." He said.
"Just ten minutes."
"Y/N, your ten minutes is twenty."
"Let me at least brush my hair!"
"Here," he pulled a hair band off his wrist and gave it to you. You rolled your eyes taking the hair band and tying a pony tail.
"I look like an egg."
"A beautiful egg."
You gave him a playful push "Alright let's go."
It was about 6 in the evening and it was getting dark.
"Should've brought my coat, or hoodie at least." You said.
"Well it's not so bad," Bucky said.
"Yeah," you nodded "When you're in a sweater."
"I would like give it to you put I'd be shirtless."
"Oh yeah pffffttt we don't wanna see that, no no." You said sarcastically. He shrugged.
"We could just go back inside?" You suggested.
"Alright," he said.
"Why did we go out anyways?" You both began walking back.
"I kinda thought it would be romantic, but turned out to be too cold for that." He rubbed that back of his head.
"What made you think a night walk would be romantic. Well no it is, but it would've been more romantic in like autumn, you know with all the leaves and stuff. Like in the book."
"Yeah like in the books," he repeated in thought.
"Oh." You said. "Oh wait you read it in your book?"
"Um maybe."
"You know books are like overly descriptive? Like in terms of the romance stuff. It just turns out to be awkward most of the time." You said.
"Well at least you're honest," he sighed shrugging.
"Yeah like what happened this noon when-"
"YES! Yes ok don't need to remind me," he quickly interrupted you.
"Mhm, I doubt that would happen in books."
You looked at him, he had a funny expression on his face and knitted eyebrows.
"Ok, ok I'm sorry let's pretend that never happened. I promise I'll shut up about it."
"It's ok, it was weird." He said.
"Yeah ok ok good." You took his hand into yours but quickly realized it was his metal hand.
"Oh sorry," he said pulling it away getting a small jump scare.
You looked at him confused. "Al-right?"
"Yeah um." He didn't know what to say.
"Yeah ok let's just walk home." You whispered with a straight face.
Back at your house you were helping Sam make baked fish.
"This is so weird," you read the recipe card. Sam had a small box full of them.
"The steps are easier than ever." Sam said.
"Easy!?" You exclaimed. "My brain broke down while reading that."
He laughed. "Alright you can make the fried rice." He threw another card at you.
You caught it, proud of yourself.
You scanned the card "Yeah I'll do this."
"You guys want any help?" Steve came into the kitchen.
"Uh I think we're good." Sam looked over at you. You gave him a nod going back to reading the ingredients.
"Alright then, if you need me I'll be in my room," he spun around and left.
"Why'd you say no?" You said after Steve left. "You definitely need help with that."
"Because it's cooking with Sam and Y/N. We haven't done anything together in ages!" He began pealing the fish and you began frying the eggs.
"But all we do is watch movies together."
"Yeah but that doesn't count. We just sit in silence."
"Sometimes I like your presence, even if I'm not talking to you Sam." You said.
"I mean yeah I like yours too obviously, but isn't it more fun doing something together?" He said.
"Of course, I just suck at cooking," you laughed.
"Nah you're getting better."
You looked at your card. "What the hell is pork tend-tender louin-loin?"
"Pork tenderloin. It's in the freezer, you're gonna have to microwave it first. It's already cut up."
"Thanks Sam," you bent down to the freezer looking for something that looked like a pork tenderloin.
-
After about an hour the rice done and the fish had 20 more minutes in the oven. You cleaned everything up with the rest of the energy you had and went to lay down on the couch.
Bucky was there reading, as per usual. You collapsed on his shoulder melting like a blob.
"You ok doll?" Bucky chuckled putting his book down.
"I am exhausted." You groaned.
He hummed in response resting his head on yours. You closed your eyes relaxing. It was moments like these you were going to miss, just his presence. Just the small things.
You took his hand squeezing it, you really didn't want him to go. He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb, almost like reading your mind and trying to calm you down.
You sighed moving closer to him, he let go of your hand and put his arm around you pulling you in and placing his chin on your head.
"I'm sorry doll." He whispered.
"It's ok, I understand." No you didn't. Or you did but you wish you hadn't, it made everything a lot sadder for you.
"Hey guys are you- Oh." Sam blinked.
You and Bucky quickly let go of each other and teleported to the opposite ends of the couch.
Sam coughed "The fish, fillet um food is ready. I'll go take stuff out, I mean lay the stuff out- yeah bye." He turned the corner to the kitchen.
You had your eyes screwed shut and lips pressed into a tight line. That was so awkward. So awkward.
You heard Bucky laughing quietly next to you. It was such a genuine laugh, like it was so pure but like not in a weird way. It was indescribable. You looked over at him. He was covering his mouth with the back of his hand, you could just see the up turned corners of his mouth. His eyes slightly closed and his nose was scrunched. He looked at you, almost like in slow motion letting you memorize his expression. His blue eyes shone like pearls in the glistening light. After he finished laughing he pressed his lips into a small smile and ran his hand through his hair.
"Hey Y/N," you zoned back into reality.
"I uh yeah?" You blinked.
"Cmon let's go," he bounced up from the couch pulling you after him.
-
After dinner you helped Sam wash the dishes and put away the plates and left over food. Sam and Steve went to bed and it was just you and Bucky who were awake. The lights in the house were turned off everywhere except in the kitchen where you and Bucky were sitting. You were eating a chocolate bar while Bucky talked about the book he was reading.
You weren't paying attention to what he was talking about, but you were paying attention to him. His, almost microscopic, freckles, that he managed to get during your stay in San Francisco, and the way he fiddled and waved his hands around while explaining things. He would occasionally look down and bite his lip, trying to remember small scenarios from the book, but then he'd quickly look back up and continue telling you about what was happening in it.
You nodded from time to time to give him the impression that you were listening, which of course you were, but you were trying to memorize every little detail of him.
He did this funny thing with his eyebrows where he would furrow them for like three seconds and then raise them up.
This carried on until you yawned at around 1 am.
"We should head to bed, I'm probably boring you with the whole book thing," he got off the chair.
"Oh no, it sounds like a great book, I'll make sure to read it when-" you paused "Uh later."
He nodded. "Goodnight?" He said, or more like asked.
"Mhm," you nodded smiling.
-
Later that night you were watching a horror movie, when you saw the lights switch on from under the door. You furrowed your eyebrows. Steve never wakes up at night. Neither does Sam, and Sam would never get water at night he always told you not to. You paused the movie and hopped off the bed walking quietly towards your door. You opened the door as quietly as you could and peeped out. The lights were coming from the kitchen.
You dashed to the wall that was in front of the kitchen. You pressed your back against the wall feeling like James Bond from one of the movies.
You glanced past the wall and saw Bucky with his back turned to you drinking a cup of water. You were gonna scare him, but then you heard him let out a heavy sigh. He was probably just tired, you thought to yourself. You then looked again and saw him bring his hand up to his face and rub his eyes or face? You couldn't really tell from behind.
You hid behind the wall waiting for him to be done. You heard him put the cup in the sink and his footsteps got louder and more clearer. You were just about to jump out, but then you heard him sniffle. You raised your eyebrows freezing in position.
He switched of the lights. You slid to the side so he wouldn't notice you. Maybe scaring him wasn't a good idea anyways, cause he might actually get scared and slap you by accident. With his metal arm. That's a slap you did not want to experience.
You heard him walk past you and as he turned the corner to the living room, you let out a breathe. Was he ok? You began walking back to your room when you bumped into something falling back on the floor and hitting your elbow.
"Shit," you whispered sitting up and rubbing it.
You squinted trying to see what it was. Didn't really have to guess. It was Bucky. He shone his flashlight onto you from his phone.
You covered your face from how bright it was.
You actually hit your elbow pretty hard.
"Y/N what we're you doing?" He put his phone away. "I saw your door open by the way."
Damn it. Not cool. He came over from behind you and lifted you up by your arms.
"Ow ow ow," you whisper yelled. "Careful!"
He walked over to the kitchen light switch and turned it on.
You held onto your elbow hissing quietly.
You looked at Bucky and you saw his tired and sad expression. He had tired eyes, like he rubbed them nom stop. He looked angry at first but then his look softened when he saw you clutching onto your elbow.
"I-I'm really s-"
"Are you ok?" You said interrupting him.
"What? Me? Yes I'm fine. Are you? Let me see that." He walked over to you but you stepped back.
He looked at you surprised.
"Were you crying?" You asked.
"What? No, it doesn't matter. Come here," he came over grabbing your arm.
"Ouch!" You yelped.
"Oh god sorry I didn't mean to be so rough. You should really put some ice on that." He said.
"Bucky," you said quietly.
"Mm?" He walked you over to the table. "Uh do you guys have like ice packs?"
You nodded slowly "Bottom freezer, on the door."
He took one and sat down in front of you, pressing the cold ice pack against your elbow.
You placed your hand on top of his. He looked up at you with his blue hues.
"What happened?" You asked.
"Nothing."
You chewed on the inside of your cheek not knowing what to say. You squeezed his hand. He swallowed, quickly blinking.
You got off your chair and came over to him, hugging him. At first he sort of ignored it, but soon hugged you back just as tightly.
He hid his face in your shoulder. He gently shook as he breathed in. You tried your best to comfort him but you were pretty sad yourself.
After a few minutes of standing there you finally said "Bucky cmon let's go."
He shook his head. You smiled stroking his back.
"Cmon you can cry in my room."
You heard him chuckle and he let go. You switched off the lights and both of you went into your room.
You moved your lap top away and let him sit down. The lights were off and you could barely see anything.
"Y/N I don't wanna go." He said.
"I don't want you to go either." You said honestly.
You put your arm around him.
He leaned onto you, holding your hand.
"But," you added. "I feel like it's a bit late to turn back."
He let out a sigh. "I'm scared." He whispered.
"Does it hurt?"
"No, no it doesn't, I'm scared that I might lose too much time. Lose you. I'm scared I'm going to come back too late and," he paused.
"And?"
"And you'll change. You won't have the same feelings towards me."
You hugged him "Oh Bucky, I could never fall out of love with you."
"Well your last ex suggests otherwise." He said.
"Bucky I wasn't in love with him. I thought you were dead, of course I had to try an move on with my life. You being in cryo is different. I know that you're still alive and all I have to do is wait."
You felt him nod.
"Besides the only thing that will change when you come back will be my age. And I think I've got some catching up to do," you chuckled.