"There was a period of time where Jisung started getting distant from us, it was around the time Felix left to go back to Australia. We later got told that it had already been going on for a while, but drastic changes in his life could serve as a form of ignition." Seungmin started, noticing the frown that appeared on Felix' face. Hyunjin seemed to notice too, quickly speaking before Seungmin had the chance to continue.
"It's not your fault, Lix. Remember what Seungmin just said? It was already going on for a while, okay?" Felix just nodded, biting his bottom lip in deep thought.
"Jisung didn't show up to school one day." Seungmin continued, "We'd always know if he was sick, but we didn't hear anything. The teachers knew Hyunjin, Jisung and I were always together and they hadn't heard anything either. So when they asked us if we knew if he was sick or where he was, it didn't take long for us to realise something wasn't right."
"Oh, is this the day he got... kidnapped?" Felix hesitated in asking, as he wasn't sure if it was truly what Seungmin was about to say. It also isn't a fun trivia thing to casually mention, either.
"Well... yes?" Hyunjin said, but his voiced told everyone how confusing the story was about to become. He wasn't the best with words regarding Jisung's condition, especially since Hyunjin was an emotional boy who cared for his friends deeply. It's why he let Seungmin explain, otherwise he might've already started crying at this point. So, he looked at his boyfriend as he continued talking.
"When the school called Jisung's parents and asked him where he was, two hours of school had already passed. In first period they thought he might've overslept, in second period their suspicion was that maybe he was sick and his parents forgot to call in. But by third period, that's when they asked us and ended up calling his family. They called his dad, who was out of the country at the time, so he couldn't really tell them anything. I'm not sure exactly what happened next, only that Mrs. Han panicked on the phone to whoever called her, because Jisung had left the house that morning."
"I can't imagine the amount of stress she must've felt..." Changbin said after taking in a deep breath. Chan nodded in agreement.
"The police was called and a search for Jisung began immediately. Hyunjin and I were sent home after we were called to the principals office, where we got told Jisung was missing. We went home to my house together and cried because we weren't allowed to help search... Jisung ended up being gone for six hours before anyone found him."
"S-Six hours?! Where was he? Who took him?" Jeongin asked, terrified for fourteen year old Jisung.
"In a playground near Han River."
"Wait, what?" Felix interrupted, confused out of his mind. "Jisung told me he was in a playground when a man came up to him and kidnapped him?"
"Well, that's what he thinks happened. In fact, it was a police officer who just patrolling the area. They hadn't heard of a missing boy, as they turned off their radio during their lunch break— for whatever reason. But they noticed Jisung was wearing a school outfit during school hours, so they decided to stop and see what was going on... The police officer told Jisung's family later on what really happened." Seungmin took a pause in talking, grabbing the glass he'd filled with water to take a sip in order to relief his throat, which had started to feel dry from all the talking.
"The officer had walked up to Jisung to ask why he was sitting there alone on a swingset and why he wasn't in school. Apparently, Jisung had just stared into space for a moment, unresponsive to anything. We later found out it was because he was in the middle of a psychotic episode. When he didn't respond, the officer had placed his hand on Ji's shoulder, asking if he wanted to come to the police station so his parents could pick him up. Jisung's brain didn't register it this way, and instead thought the man was trying to grab him to take him. So he started screaming his lungs out. The officer then kind of panicked, so not knowing what to do, he grabbed an uncontrollable Jisung by the wrist and dragged him into the car forcefully."
"Oh lord." Chan whispered, resisting the urge to facepalm. He wouldn't know what he'd do in a situation like that, but dragging a hysteric teenager in your car surely isn't the way to go.
"I know, right? Anyways, Jisung apparently passed out in the back of the car eventually, so he was placed in an interrogation room when they got to the station. He woke up just as him mom arrived and the height of his psychosis ended, so he realised he was in a police station, but assumed he was already rescued. Either way, this event caused him to completely shut down to the outside world and it didn't take long before he wouldn't leave his house anymore. He knows he has schizophrenia now, but it went undiagnosed for a full year, because doctors refused to admit that that was what he was dealing with. Schizophrenia usually starts developing around the late teens or early twenties in men, so they didn't want to believe a fourteen year old could deal with it."
"Holy shit. When will doctors realise anomolies are a thing?" Changbin exclaimed somewhat angrily, not liking the lack of skill or competence that was showing here.
"Yeah..." Hyunjin took over for Seungmin, now that the most serious part had been discussed. "We got told what it exactly was by his parents, before he got an actual diagnosis. They wanted us to know what was going on and practically begged us to stay friends with him, which of course we didn't refuse. But they wanted us to know their suspicions, so we could look up the symptoms and ways to potentially help Jisung, without him really knowing we were helping him with that. We go to his house almost every weekend and we have been doing so ever since, because if we don't, he'll completely disconnect with everything. It's not his fault, that can just happen if things get bad. Anyways, not being diagnosed really caused him a lot of pain, so when he finally got proper treatment for it, it really helped him a lot. He realised his thoughts were also another voice, to put it simply. It eased him a lot, as he realised it wasn't himself telling him bad things."
"But that realisation... it wasn't enough? I-If he could imagine a whole person?" Jeongin asked, feeling extremely sad that Jisung had to go through his struggles, as well as practically 'losing' an important person to him.
"Well... maybe Minho is a real person, but he just met him once and his mind held onto him? That could be it, or it's a person he looks up to a lot?" Chan proposed the idea, which everyone agreed upon that it could be the case here.
"It's just— he's been doing so well this past year especially, it hurts to see him fall back into another psychotic episode." Hyunjin said softly, sniffling as he held back his tears. Felix slung his arm around the boy and squeezed the boy's upper arm, showing his support without any words being said. Felix himself didn't have the strength to speak without tears forming either.
"But Minho's been 'with' him for months now, no? Can it really all have been fake?"
"A psychosis can last longer than you think. It's usually a gradual thing that can span over a longer period of time. Though it's side effects normally are along the lines of depression, desocializing from friends and just dissociating. Illusions are usually one of the last steps, which just shows the psychosis is very severe. I just feel bad that I didn't fucking notice it was happening again." Seungmin said, at last tearing up as tears silently slid down his cheek. His boyfriend immediately snuck away from underneath Felix' supportive hold scooted closer to him, before hugging the boy tightly.
It was a sad sight to see for everyone, but it didn't last long as they heard the front door open. Miss Kwon burst into the living room only five seconds later, where she found six boys staring at her with sad expressions.
"W-Where... is Jisung?!" She said between breaths, heavily breathing in oxygen as it seemed she'd ran up the front yard to the house.
"We called an ambulance... he passed out." Changbin tried to explain calmly, but his answer didn't please Miss Kwon.
"What?! Why didn't you call me to let me know?!"
"Because we knew you were probably already driving here the second we hung up the first time. We didn't want you to get distracted and get into an accident." Hyunjin said in a small voice, somewhat apologetic yet scared at the same time. Miss Kwon's expression softened at his response as she composed herself.
"I see, I'm sorry for yelling. Now, can you tell me what happened?"
"Minho... isn't real and we found out collectively... including Jisung." Seungmin said and at those words, Miss Kwon's face fell.
"I knew it..." she whispered to herself as her eyebrows furrowed together. She sighed heavily as she clutched onto her car keys. "I had my suspicions since a couple days ago and I was planning to contact his therapist on Monday, but it seems I have failed and was too late in doing so."
"No one saw it coming." Felix tried to make her feel less bad, but Miss Kwon just shook her head.
"But I'm the one that is supposed to realise. It's my job. I just— I hadn't suspected it sooner as everything Jisung told me seemed legitimate, up until the night he just ran off. But with the umbrella and all, it seemed so believable. Either way, I messed up deeply." She sighed before she continued, "I'm heading off to the hospital and I'll inform his parents on my way there, as I take it they haven't been contacted yet? I suggest all of you drink some tea before you go to bed. Jisung will be okay, he's in good hands, so don't worry too much alright? I'll text you later Seungmin, so you know how he's doing."
"Thank you, Miss Kwon. Please drive safely."
"I will, bye for now."
The boys waved as she left their vision and they remained silent until they finally heard the front door close.
"Should we sleep over too, Binnie? Or do you think you can drive home after all this? I can just call Auntie and tell her we'll be a bit later tomorrow."Chan asked his cousin, which hummed in thought before responding.
"If we can sleep over, I think we should. I don't know how well I'll be able to actually focus on traffic after all this information."
And so everyone ended up sleeping over and even though Miss Kwon told them not to worry, none of the boys could get Jisung out of their minds, especially the four boys who got told the truth today. They also weren't able to get Hyunjin's last words before heading to bed out of their thoughts;
"I know this is a lot to ask of you all, but please don't leave Jisung now that you know the truth. He may have schizophrenia, but that doesn't define who he is as a person. And besides that, after this, he probably will close off again. He'll need people around him, so even if you haven't known him for too long, I beg you to at least stay friends with him."
The boy had even gone down onto his knees in a deep bow, which caused Jeongin to yell at his hyung to get up. Seeing Hyunjin so concerned for Jisung was a sight that brought all of them nearly to tears, so of course they agreed to his request. It wasn't as if they were planning to ditch him before anyway, but seeing this gesture really tug on their hearts just a tad bit more.
Chan and Changbin lay together in the same room— and same bed even, a complete silence washing over them. Both were so tired, yet neither of them could fall asleep after the events of this past afternoon and evening. Everyone had decided to just go to bed straight after their lackluster dinner, which ended up being plain rice with an egg, they'd just wanted the day to be over. As if it never happened, maybe.
"Hyung..." Changbin spoke softly, asking into the air if Chan was still awake. The older responded with a hum, letting the boy know he was listening.
"What you said earlier, about Jisung maybe knowing someone named Minho..."
"Yeah?"
"What if it is someone who really exists? I once read somewhere in an article that a study showed the human brain can't create new faces. So when you dream, every face you see is a fave you've seen in real life. Although a psychosis isn't a dream, don't you think the brain would still not be capable of creating a new face?"
"Hmmmm.... You're hitting me with the hard questions, Bin. Although, you know the weirdest things so you're probably right. It could be, but doesn't that just mean that the Minho Jisung knows, is just a face he might've seen in a store once?"
"Maybe... but I still think it's worth a try."
"...Worth what try?"
"I want to try to find his Minho." Changbin spoke, staring straight up at the ceiling with a determined look on his face. Chan bolted upright however, looking down at him as if he was crazy.
"Are you out of your mind?! Lets say we find 'Minho', he could be a total bitch! He might call us and Jisung crazy, before telling us to leave him alone. And besides that, what good would it do for Jisung to meet 'his Minho', only for his boyfriend to not be his boyfriend and to not have any memories that Ji has! I understand you want to help, but I think it might do more harm than good, Bin."
It was Changbin's turn to sit up, looking Chan directly in the eyes.
"But Jisung doesn't have to know we found Minho until we assess that the guy is a good person. We can look for him and when we magically find him, explain the situation and see the guy's reaction! If he is an asshole, we can just leave him and never mention that we met him to Jisung, but then we atleast tried! Come on, I know you want to help too. I see how you already had a soft spot for him before this even happened."
Chan bit his lip as he looked to the side, pondering Changbin's words carefully. It is true that he had felt the need to protect Jisung from the moment he saw him again, but would it really be okay to do this?
"I want to protect and help him too, at least. Because he has a soft spot in my heart too and that certainly didn't change after this. So if you don't want to do this, that's fine. I'll do it on my own then. If you want to help me out later, you can always join in."
"You're not going to ask the besties for help?"
"Seungmin and Hyunjin are very protective, I think they'd turn down the idea the second I suggested it. They would also be the ones to make sure I didn't do it behind their backs, though. So telling them is a no no. I could get Felix to join in because we're pretty close, but I'm sure he'd accidentally end up spilling the beans towards Seungjin. As for Jeongin... I don't want him to worry too much. He's the youngest here, I don't want to involve him in these things."
"Alright. I'll help."
"Great. Lets find a way to get more information on how Jisung described Minho starting tomorrow."
"Sure, lets also go over all the Minho's in our lives."
"Hmm, I know a Minho, my best friend actually. Wait— you know that Minho too."
"Yeah, but it's probably not him right? The guy's a famous model after all. Also, we weren't good friends with Jisung when this Minho first came into his life, it probably isn't a Minho we would know, but rather one Seungjin and Lix would."
"Yeah, probably..."
———————————————————————————
Sad noises. So yeah, Jisung never got kidnapped.
Also, I would like to finally be able to put my disclaimer here:
Mental illnesses don't make people incapable to function in comparison to anyone that doesn't suffer from them. Please treat people that have them the same way you'd treat anyone else. Also, I have done research on schizophrenia to accurately portray it and in hopes to do it justice, however my writing skills may hold me back from having done so. If there is anything wrong in what I wrote regarding Schizophrenia, you can point it out, however I won't change that part of the story UNLESS my portrayal would negatively impact the mental illness and the people that have it.
It is after all a work of fiction, so if it doesn't entirely match up to real life, please let it slide. Also, like I mentioned in this chapter, not every person with schizophrenia has illusions. So please don't think that's all schizophrenia is. I suggest if you're interested, or have extra time on your hands, to google a bit more to learn about it, as the symptoms go much deeper than 'just imagining things'. It's very interesting to learn past what the movies have portrayed it as.
Lastly, Jisung closes himself off from the world in this story, by not leaving his house. Please remember that it's not directly because of his schizophrenia, but because he is terrified to be kidnapped again (so more his PTSD). This part of him does not portray schizophrenia neither does it mean this happens in real life.
Thank you if you read that, I didn't want to put it at the beginning of the book as it would've spoiled the whole story, but I wanted to add it the moment I could as I find it important to mention it. Writing about mental illness is fine, however I think it's necessary to remind everyone the difference between fiction and reality with these things and it is never my intent to hurt anyone with what I write. I also don't intend to glorify mental illness, I rather want to show the person behind the illness and how they overcome it with the people around them.
Thank you ❤️