***The Below Author's Note got away from me. If you want to only read the important stuff in it then skip down to the fourth paragraph that starts with "So, I have a bit of an announcement..."
A/N: Hello lovelies! It feels like forever since I have been able to talk (really type) to you all! It almost feels like this is a celebratory chapter for BTS hitting #1 on Billboards for 6 weeks in a row for Butter. But honestly that's a sheer coinkidink (coincidence if English isn't your first language. Just my silly way of saying it.)
After seeing the Preview for Permission to Dance I'm sooooo excited. I will admit though that I didn't expect it to sound like that, but then again Butter sounded a lot different in the preview vs the actual song. So there is obviously a huge possibility that they will surprise us.
An Army YouTuber I follow pointed out how the new album coming out has a Peaches and Cream version and made the connection to Blood, Sweat, and Tears, and I have to admit I was ready to have another sexy A-Track like that. In fact I had pretty much been saying that for months now that is the type of A-Track song I am waiting for. I guess we will see on Friday if that is what ends up happening or not. (Actually I need to double check the time of release. I didn't think of the possibility that it might release on Thursday for me.)
So, I have a little bit of an announcement. As of right now including Prologue I have 17 chapters written for Legion of Dionysus. My plan is to try to get at least up to Chapter 20 finished by Friday, but whether I do that or not is beside the point. The true point is that I will be releasing the Prologue for it on Friday morning. The Foreword I will be posting shortly after this Bonus Chapter is up. (Obviously it will take some time to get the initial setup done. So, up to about a half an hour after this has been posted probably.) So keep your eyes peeled for that one.
Side note too regarding that. Or once again a sheer coinkidink. On the BTS Calendar I have hanging in my the image for July is a collection of the same images that I used for the cover. I guess I was meant to start posting it in July. ☺
Regarding this Bonus Chapter. A couple readers suggested more regarding the sasaeng. One specifically asking for some background about who they are. The other actually asked for some future content on what happens with them. Because what I have in mind regarding their future ties in with spoilers for a Snap Shoot of Our Lives (The Seventeen sequel to Encoded ) I couldn't really do that. I hope this at least somewhat fulfills the requests.
It ended up taking me forever (I honestly didn't keep track of the days, probably two weeks?) and ended up being exceptionally long. About the length of three of my traditional chapters. So, because of that I am going to not only have the amount of words over all at the beginning but also the amount of words for each section broken down.
I separated each sasaeng's story by using a banner to visually indicate when I swap to a different sasaeng. In the banner I included their abbreviations as well as an image of the member they stan. (Notice that the images are from Fake Love. teehee.)
8031 words in total
2009 words
Early 2017
Eun Ae stopped at the third store of the day. Her feet were already killing her, and it was all due to her employer's insisted upon ideal dress code. Her employer in question lived by a mantra where she felt that all of her employees, especially her personal shoppers, were an extension of herself, therefore the reason she insisted on having them dress to impress in any situation. That unfortunately included dress shoes; that after only a couple hours of shopping were already starting to fit way too snug for comfort. Honestly, they currently felt like she had purchased shoes two sizes too small. That's how much they were pinching right now despite the amount of wiggle room they had leftover when she initially tried them on before purchase. She didn't even want to think about how cold her feet also were due simply to the winter chill outside. She was uncomfortable enough the way it is. If she added in her current temperature level she would probably quit before the day was even over.
Heck the only reason she applied for this job in the first place is because not long after she turned eighteen her parents decided to just up and move to another country, while she stubbornly chose to stay behind. So, now she has to deal with her employer's ego, which could be easily compared to the size of Mt. Everest. I honestly don't think that is an exaggeration. If anything I might be being generous with that comparison. Perhaps it's the size of two Mt. Everests stacked on top of each other.
Ryo ChaeYoung, a renowned drama star, sent out three different personal shoppers daily in hopes to find something striking and unique. It didn't matter that most stores had only one or two specific days that they got new shipments in. No, that wasn't really important because her boss was prone to change her mind from one day to the next. Eun Ae can remember a handful of garments that her boss had turned down the day before, only to think they were fabulous must buys the following day. The woman was an exceptionally huge diva, and after only a few months Eun Ae was already done with working under someone so famous with the primadonna attitude to match.
Eun Ae sat down at a comfortable armchair reserved for customers in an effort to try to catch her breath and ease some of the tension on her feet. Her hands unclenched around the straps of the shopping bags releasing them so they fell like dominoes scattering around her feet. Once she finally looked around the room she noticed that the nearby displays of clothing weren't what she expected to find when she initially walked through the door. That's because somehow she had turned into the door of the wrong shop entirely. There was no way she would find anything suitable for her employer in an upscale haberdashery after all. She groaned and lifted the few bags of purchases from the floor beside her feet before her ear perked up to the sound of a throat clearing in her vicinity.
The man seated across from her was somewhat familiar, although she couldn't immediately place where she recognized his face from. "You look tired. I think you had the right idea by relaxing in the chair for a while." The older man verbally reaches out with formal speech patterns to her.
She shakes my head. "I should get back to work."
The older man's eyes widened behind his glasses. "Shopping is work?" His immediate surprise almost has Eun Ae chuckling in response.
Eun Ae starts explaining that she is currently a personal shopper, and then she continues on opening up about how difficult she is finding her job and her boss. She manages to leave the celebrity's name out of the discussion, since she doesn't want that to come back and either haunt or harm her in some way. She practically tells her current life story to the visually familiar stranger, and she has no clue why she was so open to the idea of doing that. Perhaps it has something to do with exhaustion, or it could be the fact that she was sincerely disgruntled with her job. In the back of her mind she had been considering going elsewhere for work after all; she just hadn't gotten the motivation to take the next step yet.
It's almost as if someone were watching out for her though because the next thing the familiar looking older man asks her is definitely along the lines she had already been considering. "What if I told you that I knew of a job position that would probably be tailored similarly to your current job, only a lot less stressful?"
Eun Ae arches an eyebrow automatically conveying her immediate interest. Instead of offering more of an explanation though the man simply hands her his card. She immediately recognizes not only the name on the card, but also the name of the small Kpop label. Their main group had just come out with a dangerously sinful music video only a few months ago, and they were definitely gaining popularity because of it. Eun Ae hadn't seen it for herself yet though. She had just gotten her job around that time and had pretty much been busy ever since.
"Our company is working hard on trying to branch out with other artists, which means that I will need more employees to accommodate them. You would still have to interview for the job of course."
She nods numbly, and offers him a mindless thank you. She wishes she could say that she heavily started to consider the job in question, but her cell phone interrupts her and she has to excuse herself to answer it since it's her current employer on the line.
Once Eun Ae is done with work she heads to the local bathhouse near her apartment . Her small shower in her apartment isn't going to be able to target the sore muscles that are causing the tension in her body. After rinsing off she sinks herself into the ground level tub sighing in immediate appreciation at the sensation of the warm waters doing their work on her tired, tense body.
Her mind immediately drifts to the business card in her wallet. I don't work tomorrow. Maybe I should just call while I have the free time available. I can at least find out what the job entails.
Early February 2017
After initially being hired on at Big Hit, Eun Ae wasn't really surprised to learn that she ended up being the youngest member of the stylist team. The rest are probably at least old enough to be the group members' mothers.
What did surprise her was the fact that she was offered the job in the first place. After all, It didn't exactly make sense for her to have gotten the job at Big Hit. Shouldn't it have been a requirement for the staff to be older and already tied down with their own soulmate? Eun Ae had turned twenty at the turn of the year, and the only reason she hadn't gotten the serum injection herself was due to the fact she was a little bit short on the funds for it since she was scraping by and living on her own.
I didn't expect this. This isn't the job that was explained to me. I was under the immediate assumption that I was going to be assisting the trainees. Not working for the one sole group under the label.
Eun Ae watches from behind the cameras as one of the members is directed to put his head on the train tracks to listen if there might be one approaching. She hasn't been around the members since she first started the job not terribly long ago. This is her first project with them and she can't help but be in immediate awe of this one's natural beauty.
She had unfortunately slept in and hadn't been on set to assist him with this particular wardrobe change. So she hadn't actually talked to him yet, but there was definitely something compelling about him. Due to her immediate draw to him her mind couldn't help but conjure up possibilities in her head. Wouldn't it be uncanny if he were my soulmate?
It wasn't until she had talked to him and worked out how kind he was that her crush really began to flourish and develop. She started binging all of their music every night she came home from work, really becoming acquainted with who he was as an artist. When she discovered he was on a historical drama she had been missing she started to binge those episodes as well in her free time until she was caught up to current. She immersed herself in everything that he was in front of the camera, and felt she had the job of a lifetime learning who he was behind the camera.
She didn't admit to her growing feelings for him until over a year later when she was on set with him for his solo music video shoot for Singularity. The other stylist she worked side by side with wasn't working this particular shoot. So, Eun Ae had more time one on one with him. He had just finished the sinfully seductive choreography with the coat rack when the director decided to take a break to get ready for the next set. She saw the storyboard so she knew what to expect of the next scene and pulled out the garment bag for the outfit she had specifically picked out for this set.
Eun Ae handed him the Gucci "Loved" pendant earring. He first smiled at the sentiment and then up at Eun Ae in turn. "You are. You know?" She inwardly cringed at how inarticulate that came out. "You're loved."
"Mmm." He nodded. "My family, my fellow members, the staff.." He paused to offer Eun Ae a smile. "Army." He sighed happily. "Yes, I am very much loved."
Eun Ae took a deep breath. "No, I mean." She paused for a second, waiting until he looked up at her proving she had his full attention. "Kim Taehyung, I am in love with you."
She should have known his response wouldn't have been what she was hoping for when the earring he was holding slipped out of his hand. "You are very pretty, Yang Eun Ae, and you are very kind. I don't know you well enough to return your feelings." Then he offers her a kind smile. "But, I can still love you as Army and as one of my beloved staff members."
It was late 2018, around October or November, and Eun Ae hadn't given up on her feelings. She had simply nurtured them, and every once in a while she would give Taehyung a hand crafted gift or card to show him how much she still cared. She didn't notice how he hesitantly would accept them, only the smile he offered to thank her afterward.
One random night Eun Ae noticed a post on Weverse that surprised her. The message had the box checked so that it was hidden from the artist.
"Hi, my name is Nam Seulki. I am wanting to get a group together to talk about our love for BTS, and I was hoping to do something different. I wanted the group to be small and represent a stan for each member. I know it's weird, if not unusual, but I thought it would open up some interesting conversations."
So far underneath the post four people have replied with interest and the member that each of them specifically stan. The only two member slots empty now are Taehyung and Namjoon. On a whim Eun Ae randomly decides to offer to join. If it hadn't been for the person to fill the Namjoon slot it might not have been the worst decision of her life.
1081 words
In Spring of 2018 Nam Seulki was working on a random homework project and letting YouTube autoplay music videos in the background. The beautiful uttering of the English word 'Euphoria' followed by a video game-like sound had her putting down her pencil and looking over to her screen. There she saw one of the cutest and most attractive human beings she had ever seen.
She had to turn off YouTube and instead use a streaming service to listen to music after that so she wasn't visually distracted. However, after discovering him during that solo she made sure to specifically start by streaming BTS songs first.
When she was finally done with her homework she sat it aside and started a full dive into BTS, and of course most especially the one who had immediately drawn her attention, Jungkook. She became utterly obsessed with how cute he could be. His bunny nose scrunches. The sweet mole underneath the curve of his lower lip. Since he was twenty she double checked to make sure she knew the current status regarding his potential soulmate. She was surprised to find the news that came back to her was the fact that none of the members had found their soulmate yet. I wonder if that means they are waiting to get their serum injection. If that's the case then when I turn twenty I will wait too.
Over the next few months it wouldn't be farfetched to say that Seulki had officially become obsessed with the group and most especially their beloved maknae. Her room was wall to wall full of BTS memorabilia. She had several Kookie plushies attempting to take over her bed. She accomplished memorizing the words to every A-track song currently in existence, and she was well on her way to knowing a majority of the B-tracks as well.
Before she had grown obsessed with BTS, the group she stanned the most was probably Got7. She stopped however when her bias, YoungJae, had received his soulmate mark and the news was leaked. It wasn't the fact he now had a soulmate that made her want to stop listening. Truthfully, it did break her heart a bit, but that wasn't the issue she was having. She wasn't entirely happy about who his soulmate was.
In her head she knew that there was nothing wrong with ending up with a soulmate outside of your own race. It happened all the time. In her head she understood it was their hearts and souls matching and being a lifeline to each other that truly matter. However, when it was someone she felt she knew and a part of her admittedly loved, the idea simply didn't sit right with her. Despite the way her mind handled the logic her heart still couldn't accept or comprehend it. It became far worse when she tried to find a logical reason for the seeming increase in female foreigners being paired with South Korean males. To her the numbers didn't really add up right. Sure there were about seven times as many people in the United States as there were in South Korea, but there were still a lot of people here left without soulmates as well. Over time her irrationality started to outweigh her own logic and desire to understand.
Late in 2018, she doesn't know where the idea springs up from exactly, but she decides that she wants to form a group chat where each member is a stan of a different member of BTS. So she puts up a post on Weverse asking if anyone is interested. It's a pretty strange idea so she isn't surprised when no one immediately shows interest. A month later though, after submitting a copy pasted copy of the same post every day and she only has two slots left.
When the last spot is finally filled they all decide to meet at a nearby mall all together for the first time. After Eun Ae explains to their newest group member, Hye Rin, what she does for a living, the Namjoon stan excitedly suggests that she try to get to Eun Ae that she should see if she can get them all tickets for the upcoming concert.
A week later and they are meeting somewhere a bit more private. YeonSeo, their Jimin stan, works several odd jobs. One of those jobs is at a restaurant that specializes in porridge. She lets them in the restaurant just before closing and after cleaning up they are left in private to hold the meeting.
Eun Ae frowns at each member before admitting. "I was only able to get five tickets. I have to work that night, so that's not really too much of a problem. But, I realize that unfortunately leaves us still one ticket short."
To say each of the members are upset regarding this news would be an understatement, however YeonSeo still wraps her arm around the other young woman's shoulder. "You went out of your way to try. We all appreciate that."
"How are we going to sort out who doesn't get a ticket though?" SoYi, their Hoseok stan, asks.
SeulKi shrugs her shoulders before suggesting. "We could play rock, paper, scissors."
None of them expected the huge negative outburst that came out of Hye Rin when she lost. True, any of them would have been upset, but she seemed a bit beyond that. She takes a deep breath before turning to the others. "You better take as many pictures as possible and send them to me."
There are automatic responses in the affirmative. They all manage to look past how negative she was being and continue their friendship.
The night of the concert, pretty early on, Hye Rin texts them another suggestion. She proposes that they should try to see if they can persuade a security guard to let them backstage despite the fact that they don't have the passes to allow them backstage access. It takes them some time to gain the courage to try. It isn't even until the encore when they make an attempt.
Jungkook witnesses the tail end of it. For a brief moment SeulKi feels guilty for lying to her bias. Then the sensation of having him care enough to try to look after their well being, after her well being, supersedes that guilt. She turns on the waterworks just so she can continue to have his attention, even if it is for only a few short moments.
1169 words
Slight warning. This particular sasaeng's story might be triggering for some people due to mentions of abuse. I did however try to keep it tame enough it shouldn't be a problem.
In 2008, on a gloomy early spring day, eleven year old Han YeonSeo stood by her father's side as they said goodbye to her mother. She didn't understand why he wouldn't hold her hand, or couldn't stop the tears from falling from his eyes in an echo to the way hers were falling. In fact she didn't really think it over at all, too lost in her own melancholy after losing her mother.
Her death wasn't something that came completely out of the blue. She had contracted the same illness that was growing and killing many women all over the world. It appeared first as a cold that simply wouldn't go away. In fact the cold was barely noticeable in the first few months because YeonSeo's mother was insistent that she could still act like a respectable housewife and mother. She could take care of the house and her daughter. She could make sure that her daughter got to school okay. That she was properly fed. That the clothing on her back was clean. She would spend time with her daughter, just simply making sure that YeonSeo knew how much she was loved.
It wasn't until a week after the funeral that YeonSeo began to understand why her father was acting so closed off. He had just gotten home after work. YeonSeo was doing her best to try to make supper for him, even though she didn't really know exactly what she was doing. She had only helped stir things for her mother in the kitchen before that point after all. She had never actually cooked herself. Yet, after her mother's death, her father said he expected her to do things like this now.
YeonSeo smiled when she heard a commercial for the soulmate serum pop up on the television shortly after he sat down to relax. She literally jumped when she heard the sound of something crashing. Then her father was standing in the kitchen glaring down at her the next moment. Without warning he sent the pot on the stove flying. The water had yet to boil, but the cascading droplets that landed on her skin and left red marks behind. "You really can't do anything properly. Can you?"
That was the first night she suffered at the hands of her tyrant father. That was the night she learned, from his awful words alone, why her mother was such a dutiful wife. It was when he complained about the soulmate serum that YeonSeo intelligently guessed that her mother and father weren't soulmates.
The beatings continued for months afterward. At first the bruises and burns were easy to hide. But one time he turned even more violent than before thanks to the aid of the alcohol pummeling through his system. The poison added fuel to his growing hatred for his daughter. That time she ended up in the hospital.
For a few months she was put in a foster home, and she was learning how to be happy once again. Then after those months passed the court decided to send her back home.
That was an ongoing trend until, when she turned fifteen, she decided she had enough. She started stealing money from her father's wallet each time he would become drunk. Luckily he always assumed he had bought more liquor than he had intended, and never worked out what was really going on. She managed to save for a year before he attacked her once again.
She didn't stay with her foster family they set up with her after that time. Instead she ran away. She wasn't about to keep living the endless cycle of abuse, loving foster home, and being abused all over again. It should have been hard to find somewhere to stay, but luckily one of her former foster families had dropped out of the system after seeing how unjust it was regarding a situation like hers. She had kept in touch with them, and they had offered up a place for her to stay as long as she could help a little bit with the bills.
Instead of staying in school YeonSeo decided to drop out. She wasn't allowed to work a full time job so instead she got three part time jobs. Every morning she worked at a café. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights she worked at a convenience store. Tuesday and Thursday nights she worked at a small porridge restaurant. On the weekend nights she did deliveries. She only delivered the orders within walking distance from the restaurant since she didn't have a license yet or a scooter, but that was one of the things she was saving up for.
She had been working her jobs for two years when she heard her first BTS song on the radio at the café. Just One Day had her immediately humming along after only hearing the chorus once, and she was instantly curious about who the members were behind the music. Unfortunately she didn't have too much time on her hands to do the research regarding them, and it wasn't until two years later when she saw the music video for Save Me that she began to feel a compelled need to know more.
The young man in the opening's beautiful vocals had her hooked instantly, and even before she started to learn more about each of the members she knew that he would be the one that she would never be able to get out of her head.
Two years later she finally moves out of the house she shared with the only two people she would call family, despite the fact that they weren't blood related. However, in those rare moments she was alone she realized how lonely it could be without someone to talk to. That's when she hopped on Weverse and noticed the post made by Nam SeulKi. That's when she joined the group of stans.
"I was only able to get five tickets. I have to work that night, so that's not really too much of a problem. But, I realize that unfortunately leaves us one ticket short." Eun Ae shared. Frankly, YeonSeo didn't even think she should have to go out of her way to get them at all. In fact she worried that she might get in trouble for doing so.
When Hye Rin started getting angry after losing in rock, paper, scissors YeonSeo should have spoken up. Because that temper tantrum had her remember her father's, and there was nothing right about it. But what had speaking up gotten her before? A few months of happiness only to get tossed back into the home of the monster all over again.
She shouldn't have followed Hye Rin's suggestion the night of the concert either. But, something about trying to please her abuser was ingrained in her. So, she went through with it.
Later on she would continuously regret never speaking up. Hye Rin was a monster, and unfortunately becoming her minion made YeonSeo one too.
Resource:
1275 words
Negative Space
sifting through the
Places of
In Between
Living in
The Absence
Of Color
The Black
Sticky Ichor
Consumes me
It chases me
From
The In Between
yet somehow
still I live
in the Negative Space
Kwon Jungsoon frowns at the poem she just completed. It wasn't like she kept trying to write dark poetry, and yet it was when her negativity consumed her that she seemed to write the best. This piece in particular wasn't even that good compared to the others.
She practically tossed her poem aside, not really caring if it ended up with the others she saved or drifted to the floor. Good thing she lived alone now, but truth be told even living with her mother had been lonely and dark.
In 2004, when Jungsoon was only nine years old, her family situation dissolved like stirring sugar in water. Only it didn't leave the sweetened flavor behind.
After Jungsoon finished her supper she remembered noticing how her father had barely touched the food on his plate. "Jungsoonie, why don't you go play in your room. I need to have a private conversation with eomma right now."
She remembered once again looking at his plate and being exceptionally confused. Not just about the fact that he hadn't really eaten anything, but also because after supper time was supposed to be the time that they all spent together. It was time for them to unwind for the day and spend time as a family. Sometimes it was by playing a board or card game, others it was simply by watching a movie together. She knew something was wrong, but being a dutiful daughter she got up and did as her father asked.
In some ways she wished she had stayed there to watch how everything played out. Instead she closed in closer to her bedroom door when she grew curious about the raised voices coming from the dining room. She had never heard her parents so upset before. She never remembered hearing them argue. "I thought we had decided we were happy. I thought we both agreed it wasn't necessary. Why did you change your mind and get it without me?"
"Because, we've never really wanted the same things. Before we got married you said you were fine not having children after I admitted to not wanting any." Jungsoon's lip wobbled as she fully registered her father's words.
"That's not what we agreed! We said that we would see how the first few years of our life together would go, and then we would talk about it again." Her mother vehemently insisted.
"And yet instead of bringing it up again you chose to take matters into your own hands. You had your IUD removed without consulting me. You intentionally got pregnant, even though we had chosen to, at the very least, wait." Of course Jungsoon didn't understand all the words, but she could tell that her father was blaming her mother for having her.
Jungsoon's cheeks were wet, and before she knew it her little legs had carried her into the mouth of the hallway where she could see what was happening for herself. Luckily her father's back was turned away from her as he was staring out the window.
Her mother was too focused on the argument with her father to notice her presence. "So, that's why you did this? Because you don't love your daughter?"
The lamp beside her father crashed to the ground startling Jungsoon as he whipped around and faced her mother really fast. "Don't use her as a tool to make me the bad guy! Of course I love her!" He wipes his hair through his hand. "I think you are missing the point. I didn't do this because of our daughter. I did this because a marriage is supposed to be a partnership. It's been anything but that since the very beginning!" He sighed for a brief moment, trying to reign in his own temper. "In my eyes now, I can't help but wonder if you had been plotting all along, but I at least know the moment after I put that ring on our finger you had started to change your outlook about what our marriage should be without consulting me. I want to be with someone who is willing to work with me, rather than plot against me. I have faith that is exactly who my soulmate is!"
The fight seems to fly right out of her mother as she crumbles into the chair she was standing near. "So, what does that mean?"
"That means I am done. I will get my stuff and move out tonight."
Listening to that conversation scarred Jungsoon badly. After her father left, her mother became the shell of a person. The only thing she ever reacted to was the idea of Jungsoon seeing her father. Every time she would ask her mother would drive the emotional dagger deeper into her heart. "No, you aren't seeing your father. He didn't want to be a father anyway. Why would he want to see you?"
Luckily when she moved out of the apartment she shared with her mother she was able to pretty easily track her father down. His reaction was the polar opposite of what her mother led her to believe. In fact, he was relieved that she reached out to him.
She wasn't surprised to learn that he didn't have any more children though. That she didn't have a half sibling she missed out growing up. She was however surprised to learn his soulmate was a man. It took some time to wrap her head around the idea, but when she met her step father for the first time it was immediately apparent to see just how happy the two of them were together.
After that first initial meeting they planned a weekend once a month where they would meet together, have supper, and simply touch base. Unfortunately, every other weekend each month was her mother's. Those weekends Jungsoon would drown in her mother's despair as if it were her own.
So, she started writing poetry to lock up the emotions on paper, rather than let them dwell and fester within her. When she first started writing she also became engrossed in a different kind of poetry. Rap.
A friend of hers in a poetry workshop she would go to once a week suggested she listened to some underground stuff by a rapper who went by the name of Gloss. She became exceptionally enthralled with his work. So much so that when she learned he would be debuting as an Idol later on the same year she grew immediately intrigued.
She followed BTS 'career from the beginning, and loved every moment. They told stories through each of their lyrics, and behind many of those stories was Yoongi.
Generally she doesn't peruse Weverse all that often. However, in 2018 after having a very rough day visiting her mother and completely unable to write due to writer's block she decides instead she needs some kind of pick me up. So she scrolls through Weverse in hopes of discovering someone's shared lighthearted story, or at least silly posts someone has made about the members.
When she sees the post that Nam SeulKi made, she literally mentally says 'what the hell' before signing her name to the growing list. Her actions within the group are kind of half hearted though. She isn't necessarily for the whole water works scene at the concert they pull, but her desire to meet the person who kept her inspired much outweighed her indifference regarding their approach.
992 words
Hwa SoYi remembered the moment her hopes and dreams had been crushed. She had only been 14, and in 8th grade at the time.
Ong-seonsaeng-nim called out across the room as SoYi started heading out the door once the chime rang indicating class was over. "Hwa-hak-saeng, could you stay after please?"
SoYi turned her head to the few friends surrounding her that she took choir with and gave them a look of confusion. She hadn't noticed at the time their look of dawning understanding. She only was aware of their shoulder pats of encouragement and reassuring smiles before they each agreed they would meet up with her at lunchtime.
When she got within a few feet of her choir teacher he indicated the seat in front of him. She frowned but put her book bag back down beside it and took a seat. "Hwa-hak-saeng, it was brought to my attention that you're charting a career path to become an Idol."
SoYi smiled brightly at the subject and started excitedly talking a mile a minute about her plans for the future. Only when she saw her teacher wince and run his fingers through the back of his hair did she begin to trip over her words and stopped uttering her litany of enthusiasm.
"Hwa-hak-saeng, I hate to say this, but you don't have the musical ability required for an Idol. In fact, I was going to suggest you select another elective instead of choir next semester. You simply aren't making any progress."
"What about private tutoring sessions?" SoYi immediately jumped on the first thought she came up with to not only improve for the class, but to improve for her planned future.
"I simply don't have the time to arrange something like that. You could try vocal lessons outside of school, of course. The problem with that idea though is that they don't come cheap." He sighs for a moment. "Also I stand by my initial decision. I still wouldn't recommend another semester of choir at this time."
SoYi had of course looked up the going rates for vocal lessons once she got home, and unfortunately found herself immediately agreeing with her teacher's concern regarding finances. None of the vocal coaches had affordable rates, and honestly neither herself or her parents really had the extra funds to go around for such an expenditure to begin with.
Despite that she hadn't yet completely given up her dreams. Over the next few months she went to multiple cattle calls from talent agencies. The staff always said the same thing. That she needed vocal lessons. At the last cattle call she attended she had gotten tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, and she had finally asked after something that had been bothering her. "I thought agencies provided their own vocal lessons."
"Sometimes they do." One of the female staff members openly admitted to her.
Then another, less friendly staff member, with a permanent scowl on his face tacked on. "But only when they show some kind of vocal promise."
Before SoYi left that day the female staff member pulled her aside. "I know we told you things that you simply didn't want to hear. But, I wanted to leave you with a more positive point. If I could look past your lack of vocal training I would sign you on immediately due to your dancing abilities alone." She then handed her a card. "My brother runs a dance crew. It's more of a hobby than a career, but the crew is sometimes employed for private events and such."
SoYi had picked up that card over and over again every day over the course of a week. Until finally she had decided to place a phone call.
Next Dancemension was mostly a dance crew that did Kpop cover dances, and she had been with them since 2009. Five years later her dance leader had given them a new directive. "This group debuted a year ago, and while I tend to focus on more popular choreography I think this song will gain popularity pretty rapidly."
The song was Danger by BTS. SoYi was given J-Hope's dance part. That's when her obsession began.
Unfortunately, in the years following that performance, she wouldn't always get his parts when they performed a cover of a BTS song. That didn't stop SoYi from learning both her given dance part as well as J-Hope's. It was her own way of being close to someone she not only admired but found herself caring about.
She had been with the dance crew for nine years when her dance leader decided he was done with the hobby. In 2018 SoYi was left shattered. It would take her time to find another dance crew to work with, but that didn't help her piece of mind at that moment.
That's when she decided to turn to Weverse. Her original intent had been to post about her experience, and hope that J-Hope might see it and reply to it himself, but the first post she saw was the one that would launch her next journey. This one would end up completely diverting her obsession to solely an admiration for the man himself, and she would grow to forget that she originally mostly admired him for his dance abilities.
Originally she hadn't been focusing on her admiration for him specifically, because she knew being completely obsessed over an Idol was a fool's dream. Somehow the group she joined got her thinking otherwise, despite her own logic.
Perhaps she should have said something when Hye Rin was suggesting things that seemed to go beyond simply being an obsessed fan. Too bad she didn't. Too bad she remained a silent sentinel to Hye Rin's wrongdoings. Too bad she somehow started to agree with Hye Rin's suggestions over time. If she had been able to think for herself once more she would probably have asked if insanity was contagious.
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Wi GoEun never cared much for her family life even before the tragedy occurred. Her father and mother both had low end jobs that paid next to nothing, which meant little to no extra funds for more frivolous things and more extravagant meals.
Her lunches that she took with her to school were always on the meager side. They tended to be filled with rice, kimchi, a rolled omelet, and one other side. If she was lucky the last side had some kind of meat in it, but usually it was a seasoned spinach, spicy cucumber salad, or seasoned soybean sprouts.
Her suppers were often ramen, kimchi, and steamed pork. All of which she often had to make for herself since her parents tended to be working their second job at that time.
GoEun was only thirteen when she suggested to her parents that they should get the soulmate serum injection together. They didn't really have the extra funds to go around, but GoEun hadn't suggested it to support her parents. There was a law passed earlier that year that basically permitted older couples who had been married before the serum injection was released and didn't end up being soulmates to be able to get a divorce with no extra frills or funds attached. Even though the serum injections were expensive, divorce tended to still be even more so.
Unfortunately, for GoEun the odds were not in her favor. It did turn out that her parents were indeed soulmates. Had she not been so obsessed with money she probably would have been happy for them. Sadly, spending the money carelessly on the serum injection, when they didn't really need it, had put them even more so in a financially difficult situation.
Two years later her father was in a terrible accident at work that cost him his life. The company paid for the funeral expenses plus a month worth of rent and bills, but they offered no additional financial support past that. Money was even tighter than before. The two of them had to move into an even smaller studio apartment just so they could keep a roof over their heads.
GoEun started working two part time jobs on top of her own school workload, although she considered dropping out several times. Her mother simply wouldn't allow it. She also wouldn't take all of her daughter's funds away from her. No, only half of her money went to help pay the bills and rent. The other half she was allowed to use for anything she wanted. For once she didn't have to reserve herself from making more frivolous expenditures, and she could also save back some of the money for her own serum injection when she turned twenty. Despite everything with her parents she still believed that injection would end in her own brand of happiness. As long as she wouldn't have to struggle like she has for her entire life.
January 2014, GoEun didn't hesitate to go get her serum injection. The years hadn't really been kind to her and she had next to no positive outlooks remaining. So, she wasn't really excited to get her injection as she had originally been. She was almost positive that she would end up in a similar situation as her mother. She was practically sure that she would end up with someone that she would deem as unfit. Of course the only definition of fit when it came to soulmate at this point for GoEun meant rich or at least financially well off.
A week after her injection she stumbled across him. Her soulmate. He was handsome. He had a sweet smile. He seemed kind to his customers. He was also working as a clerk at a convenience store.
The next day she applied for a payday loan and the serum flushed from her system. She didn't care if her soulmate thought she might have died a tragic death, nor did she think of how devastated he would have felt after his mark disappeared. She selfishly only decided to do what she felt was right for her alone.
A couple years later she started creating new goals. The first was to find a steady job as a high executive's assistant. The second was to land herself a boyfriend from the list of high end executives in the company, or a sister company.
Her plans changed in October of that year after some work friends wouldn't stop talking about an almost scandalous music video they had seen. GoEun wasn't aware of it so they deemed she had to sit still for a few minutes and watch it in its entirety. From the beginning as he stared at the painting in the museum of the video she was hooked.
Here was a man who was both exceptionally beautiful and flawless, but also had the wallet size that fit her ideal man. She didn't give up on her search for a boyfriend within work, but on the sidelines she made sure to learn everything she could about Kim Seokjin.
A couple more years down the road she was sick and had to call in to work due to her high fever. She spent the day perusing Weverse, not something she had an opportunity to do very often. Nor a hobby she did routinely at all. Her cloudy mind had her committing to signing up with a chat group of similar stans.
After they met for the first time, the time when the newest member threw a huge fit for losing access to the tickets when it was her suggestion, GoEun mostly grew intrigued by Hye Rin's ideas and methods.
The two women probably talked to each other more than communicating with the others. They had a similar goal after all. Land a financially stable husband. If she had known the lengths that Hye Rin was willing to go. If she had any inkling of what awaited them in the future. Perhaps she wouldn't have befriended Hye Rin the way she had. Perhaps she wouldn't have lost her virginity to some dirty, old, married man.
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Yun Hye Rin started out with a pretty piss poor representation of life. Her existence was the result of an extramarital affair. Her father didn't give a rat's ass about her upbringing, and only offered biannual monetary handouts to her mother as some form of compensation.
Granted her mother was never supposed to get pregnant. Her mother's plan had been to try to convince her father that he was in love with her rather than his wife. It only took one forgotten birth control pill, and the rest was history.
The only good thing that came from her father's existence was when her half brother discovered her existence. He had thought for so long that he was an only child and couldn't help but immediately dote on his younger sister. He hoped that the love and affection he showered her with would make up for what she missed out from their father growing up.
Unfortunately those scars took deep seated roots within her psyche. Hye Rin wanted some kind of revenge for her lackluster life. So she made her living off of scamming rich well to do married men, much like her own father. Hell, some of those men were even the same age as her father. That fact should have grossed her out, but instead she was left emotionally numb.
Her outlook somewhat changed the day she stumbled across the video for Spring Day. Despite the fact that she conditioned herself to keep from feeling, the music video brought a tear to her eye. She wasn't sure the last time she cried before that moment. It probably had something to do with her mother's sad life, or her father's assholic ways. Hell it could have even been a doll she didn't get for Christmas one year. She truly didn't fucking know, but that moment was epic, because she decided that instead of scamming rich adulterous men she would marry one of the seven she saw on screen.
She had been attracted to them all, and originally it hadn't mattered. However it was his handsome brain that really pulled her in. Hye Rin didn't even know she was attracted to intelligence before that moment, but apparently that was indeed the case.
A year or so later she stumbled across a group only missing an RM stan to form a full unit. That was when her mind began to crank out new ideas. That was when her mind began to concoct schemes to meet the object of her affection.
Too bad his supposed soulmate entered his life.
That's when her mind began to warp and evolve. It began to contort in a way that literally led her to believe that this soulmate of theirs was some sort of imposter. Her mind immediately conjured up its own assumption, that she was a money grubbing American whore. That meant she had to be taken out by any means necessary.