Tom said "Sydney can I go down and get you something to drink or eat. You look a little pale. I know this is all a shock for you. I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you. I probably messed up." Sydney said "some lemonade would be good, and can you get Abby's cookies." He said "Sure." He came back.
He said "So you ok?" He put his arm around her. She hugged him. She said "yeah I just my mind is racing. I mean when you told me about this friend of yours, I was jealous, I was hurt, cause you felt guilty for her but not for me, and then you told what you all did, and I thought for sure you had forgotten me."
Tom said "no Michelle. I could never forget you." He bent down and gently kissed top of her head. He sat down facing her.
Sydney said "So I'm just remembering the things what all you said about her, and realizing all this time you were talking about me." He said "yeah I was, it's mind blowing I know. Honey I'm so sorry for all the pain and hurt I've caused you. when I think about how you have worried and stressed out over telling me your past, thinking you would lose me cause I hated you, if I only would have told you about my friend, and told you her name, or what I had done. But I was scared for you to know.. All the dreams, all the stress, it's all my fault. "
Sydney said "I'm sorry I know I'm all over the place. I have so many questions. So where do you think this private eye got this information. I mean you think that he made it up, that he actually typed it up himself making it look like?" Tom said "no I don't think he did that, this guy is legit, he worked with my dad on some cases, and I don't think he would do that to me, plus I pulled up the information, your obit was on the Miami Beach paper website, plus I went to " Sydney said "right my grave. I can't even. I mean I have a grave Oh my God Tommy."
Tom said "look honey I am going to call that cemetery and have them do an investigation. I mean I am going to get that grave removed. I want to press charges on whoever did this. They need to pay." Sydney said "I'm so sorry I mean you grieved me you actually went and talked to me." Tom smiled. He said "Well I thought I was talking to you, I guess I wasn't. Thank God."
Sydney said "so do you think that maybe there is a body buried there and somehow it got mistaken with my name." Tom said "there may be a body there, but I don't know how the hell it would be mistaken. Someone had to put your name on that grave. But I don't like it. I'm going to get that name taken off. I don't want a grave with your name on it. I'm going to call I'm sorry. I should have already taken care of that. Syd I was in shock, first at you being alive, and actually I ended up in love and married to you, and then you being mad and wanting a divorce. When you left me I was falling apart. I was a mess. I mean I finally got cleaned up, took a shower, sobered up."
Sydney said "you just drank with the guys right." Tom said "yes at home. I only went out of the apartment once baby and that was with all the guys to the liquor store."
Sydney said "Tommy I guess I should be honest. I kind of have a secret." Tom said "ok " She smiled. She said "but this was just like this weekend secret." He said "oh ok. You don't need to tell me if you don't want to." She said "you know when you talked to Judy, I mean when she called you at the airport, and when she called you at home on the home phone." Tom nodded. He said "she did that because I asked her to so that I could hear your voice. And so that I could make sure you were home. I mean I was freaking out about how horribly I acted, and how I had told you I wanted a divorce, and ran out on you, and I was afraid if you went and got drunk, girls would flock to you to try and cheer you up, and." Tom said "first I'd never put myself in that position. I wouldn't do something stupid like that Syd. I was hoping if I could just get you to talk to me and listen I could explain. I was hoping when you realized the girl I was telling you about was you, that it would make things better."
Sydney said "your mom was probably shocked." Tom said "yes just like I was." Sydney said "so you were looking for me, you came to my house, if I would have went straight home, then." Tom said "yeah I would have tried explaining. I would have begged you to forgive me. I would have asked you what I could do to make it up to you . So that we could be friends again."
Sydney said "Oh Tommy." She was crying. She hugged him. He held her gently rubbing her back. She said "I was in so much pain, and all this time, I mean all these years, I even at Jump Street I missed you. Cause I loved you so much, and I never thought I would see you again, You mean if I would have just went home, we would have still been friends. If I would have only known. I thought you hated me. I thought maybe it was all a joke, that you had met Anna before me at my locker, and she got you to befriend me, to hurt me at prom."
Tom said "Michelle no I saw you first. I really did want to be your friend. I didn't it wasn't a joke. I enjoyed hanging out with you. We were really friends. Anna hated you even more because she knew I cared about you."
Sydney said "Tommy could you please do me a favor?" He said "sure." She said "can you go walk Abby, I need some time alone to just sort everything out and think. He said "sure." He and Abby left.
Sydney called Judy. Judy said "how are you doing?" Sydney said "Judy Tommy told me that I was the girl he was talking about. The one who killed herself and he felt to blame." Judy said "I'm glad you finally know. It was killing me to not tell you. Booker told me but he made me promise that I'd let Tommy tell you honey. You aren't mad at me are you" Sydney said "no of course not. It was Tommy's place to tell." Judy said "I can imagine you're reeling." Sydney said "yeah I mean I'm shocked. I just keep going over in my head all the things Tommy had told me about this girl. I mean that he loved me, as a friend." Judy said "yeah it's crazy. I hope you do realize that this means you and Tommy are truly meant to be together. It's fate." Sydney said "yeah well I hope so. I mean Tommy said that, he said it's got to be fate, that I'm his wife, and I'm Michelle. That he found me again. But Judy what if I mean fate doesn't matter cause not all love stories don't always end good."
Judy said "so you're still worried Tommy won't want the baby." Sydney said "yes I mean he's young, and I know he's got dreams for his career, I don't think he wants to always just be a Jump Street cop. I mean I love my job, and would stay, but I think Tommy is getting a little tired of it. Just from comments he has made, and I think he wants to be in a major crime unit. A baby will be expensive, take time, a life time commitment. What if he doesn't want that. I will have to leave him."
Judy said "honey slow down. You need to just talk to him. That man loves you and I just can't imagine he would not love a baby with you. He adores Abby." Sydney said "but he said" She said "I know and maybe you did hear him right, but maybe he didn't mean it like it sounded. Maybe he didn't think a baby was on the way." Sydney said "yeah cause we use protection, and he's trusting that will work." She said "honey he took part in the sex, so this is not all on you. Just don't panic, and don't assume the worst, until you talk to him. He loves you. I can't imagine he would not want to be with you and your baby." Sydney said "I know but Tommy has been my focus since he came to the chapel. Especially after we started having sex. I can't just be all about Tommy now, if I'm pregnant, I can't just have sex all day and all night and I mean I'll have to take care of the baby." Judy laughed. She said "Of course you do honey. Tommy will survive, and he will be helping you take care of the baby."
Sydney said "anyway I still can't believe I'm the girl Tom said he loved. he did feel guilty over what he did to me. And he was trying to protect me he was trying to save me. He didn't know what to do. They gave him a choice." Judy said "yeah the sex tape with your face the shower video. So how are you doing with that information." Sydney said "it made me sick. I mean to think that if that tape would have got out and guys would be calling or showing up wanting sex, and if that shower video got out at school. I would have died Judy"
Judy .said "I know. I mean when you and Tommy were telling us about I mean when we did that last case and it upset him and he was telling us why, we both thought that would be horrible, almost like a rape. But to think that it was you, that could have happened to you, I have to tell you it really upsets me, and I mean I'm so sorry, how badly you were hurt, I know what it did to you, but if Tommy wouldn't have done that, to think." Sydney said "yeah I know. It just makes me sick. And Steve has seen my without clothes. I don't even want Tommy to see me now." She said "I know that. So yeah I when Booker told me you were the friend I just that's one of the first things I thought of."
Sydney said "It's a relief and makes me happy to know that Tommy didn't want to hurt me, and he was my friend for real, and Judy it breaks my heart, cause he tried to find me. He came to my house and stayed all night in his car, he went to my work." She said "I know. He hired a private eye." Sydney said "yeah but that upsets me, cause the private eye told him I stood in front of a train, he gave him a clipping, and obit. I read it for myself. It's me, It's my picture, my name, my obit. And Judy it's even more creepy. Tommy said that he used to go every Sunday to my grave and bring flowers."
Judy said "oh my God there's a grave with your name on it." Sydney said "yes who would have done that Judy. I mean I don't understand" Judy said "So this private eye, you think he would have like conned Tommy and done it?" Sydney said "Tommy says no that he was a friend of his dads, he doesn't think he would have done that. " Judy said "Is Tommy going to call the cemetery and get your name taken off that grave." Sydney said "yes he is. He's upset by it. But it was so sweet, he said that he went there every week, but when he left to come to Dallas, he paid for monthly floral arrangements." Judy said "how sweet, he really did love you." Sydney said "He did Judy." Sydney was crying.
Sydney said "he says that he didn't realize it until I was gone, that he missed me, that he realized how much he cared when I wasn't there. How I was the only way he got through his dad's death. He said that when he left to go to Dallas he spent a day talking to me, telling me he wouldn't forget me, but why he had to go to Dallas. And oh Judy guess what. He told me that when he met me at Jump Street and he was falling in love with me, he sat in his apartment and talked to me, Michelle, and told Michelle all about Sydney. He said he was in love with me, and he wanted be a good man to me, and he couldn't miss his chance with me, so he had to say goodbye and had to let go of me not forget but he couldn't live in the past, he couldn't just go around feeling guilty and hating himself and everyone and miss out on being with me, and being happy."
Judy said "So he was talking to Michelle telling her about you. So crazy, but honey so sweet. He really does love you, more than we knew. you know I bet that is why he fell so hard so fast, and for the first time. I mean he had never been in love before, all these girls all these years, then one look at you, and he was gone You guys already had a connection." Sydney said "Right." Tom and Abby came back in. Sydney said "Judy I'll talk to you later." She said "ok" Tom said "you didn't have to do that, I can leave if you want to call her back." Sydney said "no I was just we were just talking. It's fine." Tom said "Abby had fun on her walk. The next door neighbor girl was playing in her little pool, and some water had got on the sidewalk, so Abby was like licking it up." Sydney said "yeah she did that yesterday."
Tom sat down. He said "you want to be alone or just you and Abby I mean?" Sydney said "no it's ok. I am still just trying to think I mean how would this private eye get this obit, all my information, and then if there is a body Tommy." Tom said "I don't know. I'm going to call him, and I will hire him to find out if I need to. I really don't think he did this. So can you take me back to when you left town and went to your aunts?" Sydney said "yeah I called her, asked her and told her how my mom treated me, she said that she had no idea of any of that or she would have done something. So then I went and she took me in She got her lawyer friend from church to help me. He talked to me and wanted know how my mom treated me. So I told him all about how she always said I was bad, damaged, that my dad left cause he hated me, didn't want me, she wished she would have killed me." Tom was rubbing Sydney's back.
Sydney said "I told him about her drug use, all the men, how I was scared of the men, so I would lock myself in my room, how I had to have 3 jobs all the time to try and pay the bills, like the electric, telephone, water. So he petitioned the judge to let me get a new social security number, because we were afraid that my mom would come looking for me, make me go back with her, and that she could get a lawyer who would convince a judge, and I'd have no choice."
Tom said "honey I know this lawyer was your aunt's friend, and trying to help you, and he did help you, but do you think he did this I mean to fake your death, planted a story, the obit, and paid for a grave where no one is buried in?" Sydney said "I don't know. I mean I guess, if he and my aunt thought it was the only way to keep me safe from my mom, till I turned 18. Maybe, I mean if he did it he was trying to help me." Tom said "I know baby. It would make sense." Sydney said "I don't know I would have thought he would have told me about it, but maybe he didn't want to upset me."
Tom said "we have time to find out sweetie, but I really want to get to the bottom of it." Sydney said "So do I. It kind of makes me feel creeped out, a little scared I guess, that there is a grave with my name on it. But I mean I did legally change my name so." Tom said "yeah I don't like knowing that there is a grave with my wife's name on it." Sydney said " I know there might be a way we could find out for sure, if my lawyer did fake my death." Tom said "ok so you still think he's around and practicing." Sydney said "he retired, but you know his daughter." Tom said "What" Sydney said "Lindsey" Tom said "oh ok so yeah, do you mind asking her, you don't need to tell her any of this, just ask her tell her that I have some questions for him about when your case when you first moved to TX." Sydney said "yeah I can call her, but um can we do that later. Tommy I really have something else I want to do. That I need to do."
Tom said "Sure we can take our time. I mean if you will let me help you find out. I guess I'm kind of I don't mean to pressure you. I know this is all a shock to you, and upsetting, and I know it still probably doesn't make up for that prom night, hurting you, I mean I didn't want to, but I couldn't let those videos get out, but it doesn't erase the years of pain, and the hurt you felt. I broke you, you told me that, before I knew I was the man you were talking about."
Sydney said "yeah but Tommy I mean you saved me, I just didn't know it. It breaks my heart, that I left town, but I thought you weren't my friend and I couldn't bear to be in the town and see you. I wish I would have went home." Tom said "I do too, so that I could have explained." Sydney said "I hate how hurt I was, and how broken, but I don't know Tommy, maybe it was meant to be. Maybe it had to happen like that." Tom said "Chellie the pain you suffered, and the grief I felt. How can that be meant to be."
Sydney said "well to bring us together now. I mean Tommy, do you think if you would have explained to me, would you have fallen in love with me, or would you have said goodbye to me as a friend and moved to Dallas to be a cop." Tom scratched back of his head. He said "well I would have moved to Dallas cause it was important to me, but yeah I guess unless I could have talked you into moving with me." Sydney said "I mean Tommy I used that pain, that rejection, that hurt, to totally change my life. I didn't want to be a victim any more, I didn't want to be weak, and be bullied so easily. See my lawyer introduced me to his daughter Lindsey, her boyfriend Ben owned a gym, he said he would help me, he would be my personal trainer, show me how to lose weight, and how to gain muscle, he taught me self defense, they helped me so much, being friends, and Lindsey took me shopping. I got a job and got to just spend my money on me on clothes, on make up. My whole life changed Tommy, and if I would have stayed I don't know. I know for sure I wouldn't have ended up as a cop at Jump Street, and Judy, Doug, Harry and Booker they are family to me. I mean I love them all, not just co workers. I am going to miss working with them." Tom looked at her.
Tom said "um Syd what do you mean, uh you aren't leaving oh baby please don't leave town, and leave me." Sydney said "no Tommy I just meant I uh look I wasn't meaning that. I'm not leaving town ok." Tom said "look I guess I need to ask you a question, and if you need time to answer or think it's fine. I won't pressure. But I'm sorry first you said you had something you needed to do."
Sydney said "yeah wanted to do. But go on and ask." Tom said "I know how badly I hurt you, and I hoped and prayed that when you heard why I did it, you would maybe be able to take me back. I mean we can go slow. We can start over. I can romance you, and no sex. I'll do whatever you want and need for me to do, but will you give me another chance." Sydney smiled. She said "um Tom you said no sex." Tom said "yeah I did. I know we can't just rush back in and I mean I hate the fact you think it's all I want from you, cause that is so not true. It makes me feel terrible that you feel that way."
Sydney said "So is that no sex a sticking point in you and I reuniting." She smiled. She touched his arm. He smiled. She said "I mean the no sex thing, is that what you want, or you just are offering." She smiled. So did he. He said "Baby of course I want you, I always want you." She said "Even though I'm hideous ugly Michelle." He said "you weren't hideous or ugly. you were painfully shy, but I thought you were pretty, and I thought that you were a special person, and a gentle soul. You know that is what else reminded me of Michelle, how you were a special, sweet, gentle soul."
Sydney said "So I told you I wanted to find out, who put my name and obit in paper, and that story about the train, and the grave, but that not today. Cause I had something else I needed well wanted to do." Tom said "yes." Sydney said "so I think Hanson, there' s going to be a little problem." Tom said "What." Sydney said "well I really had something I really wanted to do, but I am going to need your help." Tom said "ok name it, and I'll do it for you. You need me to fix you something to eat, or run an errand for you?" Sydney said "no and no." She smiled. Tom said "ok do I need to go do something for Abby?" Sydney smiled. She said "no Hanson." Tom said "ok I'll do anything you want or need, all you got to do is ask. I can help however you need."
Sydney said "well we may have a problem, I mean I don't know if you will be able to help me with this. I mean well I take that back, you would be able you are very capable of helping me with this problem." Tom said "ok just tell me what it is. I don't think there is going to be any problem. I am off work, so I have all the time. I can go anywhere you want."
Sydney said "ok so my problem is it has been what feels like forever, even though it's only been almost 72 hours, but I really really want my husband to make love to me." She smiled. Tom grinned. A huge beaming smile.
Tom said "Baby are you sure." She pulled him onto her, and started kissing him. Abby moved to the side of the bed. She started to take of Tom's shirt. He took her shirt off, and was kissing her. She was moaning. Tom went to undo his jeans and take her jeans off. She said "Tommy stop." Tom moaned. He stopped and sat up. He said "I'm sorry. I know you need time."
Sydney said "Tom it's not that." He said "Baby it's fine, you changed your mind, I'm just thrilled you want to stay my wife." Sydney said "Tommy I didn't change my mind. I want you to make love to me." Tom said "ok." Sydney said "But not here, I mean this is Judy's place. I feel weird having sex with you here. Can we go home." Tom smiled. He said "yes hell yes I'll take you home baby. But you do know we don't have to have sex. I just want you and Abby home with me. I mean we could watch bowling on tv cause I know how much you love to watch bowling. I mean you know it's your favorite sport." She laughed and so did he. He said "I mean I hate watching bowling on tv, it's like so damn boring, puts me to sleep, but I'll suffer through for you cause I know you hate football on tv." She laughed. So did he. She kissed him. She said "Tommy I love you so much. I hope you do know that. I always have. From the first time I saw you at my locker. I never got over you." Tom said "I love you." He kissed her. She said "let's go home Abby. Let's get all your toys and my clothes."
Tom said "I can help carry whatever you need." He went and got up. He put his shirt back on and his shoes. He said "I'll get that bag for you." Sydney said "Tommy no don't touch it." He said "I'm sorry. I just was going to help carry your stuff." Sydney said "no I know I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. I'll get my bag ok. If you can get Abby's stuff and Abby to the car. I'll be out in a minute." Tom kissed her cheek. He said "Thank you for coming home. I love you." He hugged her and kissed her. He said "Come on Abby come with daddy, we got to let mommy pack." Sydney cried.
Tom said "honey what did I say?" Sydney said "no it's look I'm just emotional ok. I am excited to go home. I'm so happy. It made me cry when you said that." Sydney was actually crying cause he said mommy and daddy.
He left. She went to bathroom. She had the tests in her bag. She said baby I know I need to tell your daddy before I take the test. But I really want to be with him, in case he doesn't want to be a dad right now. I want one last time. I will love you enough for both of us, but I just need one last time.
They got home. Abby ran to get her toys and got in her bed. Sydney and Ton laughed. Sydney said "I think Abby is happy to be home." Tom said "I'm happy you and Abby are home. I'm sorry the place is a mess." Sydney said "It's fine. Tommy." Sydney said "Tommy thank you for letting me have space, and for not going out and getting drunk and hooking up." Tom said "Syd I'd never do that to you. I love you so much. I'd never give up on you on us."
Tom hugged her. Tom said "Baby come with me." he took her hand and led her to the couch. She kissed him. They sat down. She started pull him on her. Tom said "Syd stop a minute. Please I just want to talk to you a minute ok." She said "ok." Tom said "So I want you to know I am so grateful to you for giving me another chance. I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I love you more than I can say. I want you baby, always, but I need you to know that it's fine if we don't have sex. I would totally understand if you're not ready for it. If you need time, or you need me to prove my love for you."
Sydney said "Tom no it's fine." Tom said "Sydney listen to me. I know I hurt you Friday night. I never meant it the way you took it. I was upset and hurt and mad and scared, and more scared than anything. The thought of losing you terrified me. I would never choose her. I know I did when I was a stupid kid. But I wised up and dumped her. I wish that I never would have dated her. But baby she knows I chose you eventually I mean she knew that prom night I chose you. She hated you cause she knew I cared for you, and that you were my friend and I wouldn't end our friendship when she asked." Sydney said "Wait what she asked you." Tom said "yeah way before my dad even died. She said that she didn't want me hanging out with you. I told her you were just a friend, and that she had no say in who I was friends with." Sydney said "I had no idea" Tom said "anyway she knew that I cared enough about you to go along with her joke. But I dumped her ass. She begged me to take her back, even senior year. I mean she was sleeping with other guys, but she wanted me back. I had nothing to do with her. It made her hate you even more."
Sydney said "Tom did she know you went to my grave" Tom said "yes she did." Tom said "so I need you to know I didn't care that you were going to kick her ass, I was more upset at how you were changing and I thought you hated me. But I know I hurt you. So if you're not ok, if you think we need to wait, and start over, I'll do anything. We don't have to even have same bedroom ok. You and Abby can have our room. I'll move to the other. I know that the fact you're given me this second chance, is huge baby. It's more than I could ask for. So it has to be ok. I don't want to move to fast, and hurt our relationship. If you're still mad at me, if it hurts for you to look at me, it's fine. I need you to be totally honest with me about how you're feeling. Cause I can't do anything to mess up my chance with you."
Sydney said "I love you Tommy. I get why you did what you did. You saved me. I just didn't know it. I'm sorry I ran and didn't give you a chance to explain, I just didn't think you were going to." Tom said "So you forgive me for what I did to you on prom night, and at the reunion." Sydney said "yes Tommy I do. I forgave you for prom night when you came to work at Jump Street. The other I over reacted. I took it wrong cause I snapped and I didn't think you even remembered me. But I was wrong, cause you did."
Sydney kissed him. She said "I guess question is can you forgive me for ambushing you, for keeping my identity a secret, and then making you play that game and find out with everyone, and for wearing that dress, taking off your jacket, letting that slime touch me." Tom said "There's nothing to forgive baby. you have every right to hurt me after how I have hurt you. The damage I've caused you. I totally get why you snapped. I mean I don't even know how you had the strength to go face them all. I had no idea Chellie you were bullied I mean they set you on fire. They should have been arrested baby. How you turned your life around, and I don't mean your looks, I mean how you have stayed true to yourself. You haven't changed your personality is the same. you're sweet, gentle, loyal, kind, true, I mean I'm in awe of you. You could have been bitter about how you were treated by your mom, dad, the kids at school, and you could have become a mean person, unkind, uncaring, but you didn't. You stayed the same. I'm sorry. I know it probably hurts you that I'm in love with you now, and in school I wasn't. I just didn't, I respected you. I cared for you, but I didn't see you as you and I having sex. I mean I guess cause I knew you were hung up about sex and so shy. So I get why you probably think that's all I want. I mean it's making sense every little thing now."
Tom said "so I need you to promise me you are ok with us making love. If you're not ready it's fine. I just am so blessed you came home. Even if all we do is ever just sit and talk and play with Abby." Sydney smiled. She said "I love you Tommy. I am ok with it. I know earlier I said that we can't just take up where we left off with sex, but I didn't know about me being your friend. That changes everything. It makes everything all the pain ok. I forgive you for Friday night. I get why you were upset, angry, scared. I know you kept asking me to tell you, to talk to you. And you were right I was pulling away from you. I guess first cause I was just getting so mad, but I ran cause I guess I was going to make it easy for you to leave me, I mean I'd divorce you, so you'd be free of me, since I didn't think you would want me when you knew I was Michelle."
Sydney said "Tommy please make love to me. I need you." She kissed him. He stopped. He said "Syd wait." She said "Tommy no please I'm fine with everything it's all ok." Tom smiled. He said "ok but I need to do something first." She said "ok." Tom got his wallet out. He said "um baby I think I have something that belongs to you and I need to give it to you." He pulled out her wedding ring and engagement ring. Sydney burst out in tears. She said "oh my beautiful rings. I'm so sorry I threw them at you. I was so afraid that they were gone forever. But Judy told me you picked them up." Tom said "yes honey and I have your necklace. May I put all them on?" Sydney said "please." Tom did. She kissed him. he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He said "Abby go play baby"
They were kissing. Tom laid her on the bed, gently took off her clothes, kissing her. They were making love. She was trying not to cry, but a tear escaped. Tom stopped. Tom said "Baby please don't cry if you're not ready it's fine." Sydney said "please don't stop. I'm emotional. Please Tommy I'm ok, just let me cry if I cry ok I need you to do that for me, can you?" Tom said "yeah I just hate it. But ok. If you're sure you're ready." Sydney kissed him.
They made love, Then Tom rolled on his back. He smiled. He said "Wow." She laughed. She said "yeah Hanson that was like even more mind blowing amazing awesome. I mean wow." Tom laughed. He said "yeah I agree I'm speechless " Sydney said "maybe it was cause we haven't' since Friday afternoon." Tom said "yeah maybe so."
Sydney pulled the covers over her and sat up and faced him. Tom caressed her hair. he said "you are truly beautiful." She said "babe." Tom said "yeah." She said "can we um I need to talk to you." Tom said "ok." Sydney said "I told you earlier today, I had something big I needed to talk to you about. And I mean I don't want to. Everything in me is telling me to not do it, cause I want to savor this moment. Being home with you, like this." Tom said "ok if you want to wait it's ok." Sydney said "I want to, but I can't. I need to talk to you and it has to be now."
Tom said "ok whatever it is just tell me." Sydney said "ok from now on I want to be 100 percent honest with you at how I'm feeling. I know I have held back so many times on like if I was hurt not telling you why." Tom touched her face. Tom said "ok did I hurt you, I mean did I say something just now." Sydney said "no." Tom said "ok go on."
Sydney said "ok I am so scared I mean I'm almost shaking cause I don't want to tell you, or have this talk, but I have to, I mean you deserve to know and I can't hide it. I need to face things now." Tom said "ok"
Sydney was crying. Tom caressed her face. He said "Baby don't cry." Sydney said "I need to tell you why I was crying when we made love." Tom said "ok I would like to know that, I hate to ever see you cry, it hurts me inside, but when you cry during us making love, it hurts worse cause I know it's cause of me."
Sydney said "this time it wasn't cause of you. It was I just realized that this could have been our last time making love." Tom sat up straight. he said "What no baby, please baby, don't say that. Sydney dammit. I asked you if you were sure you were ok moving so fast. I told you that we could wait, I told you that we could start over. Please don't leave me baby"
Sydney said "Tommy I don't want to leave you. But I may have no choice. Please just let me finish. I am scared to talk to you about this. I want to just not do it, but I have to. We have to have this talk. But it will be easier on me if you just let me talk for a minute. I promise you can respond."
Tom said "Syd ok but I can't let you leave me." Sydney said "ok first know that I love you. I have always loved you. From the first day at my locker. I was in love. I cherished each minute with you. I dreamed about you. I fantasized about being married to you. My dream was to marry you. I never got over you. I mean I was scared to date, but it was also cause I think I was still in love with you. I will never love another man. And I don't want a divorce. I don't want to leave you. But I may have to, well I mean it I guess would be your decision, your choice."
Tom said "no baby look I don't want you to ever leave me. I can't live without you. You're my life, you and Abby are all I need." Sydney cried. Tom said "Sydney." Sydney said "Tom please just let me talk." He said "I can't do that. Dammit how can you do this, I love you. I told you I would do whatever, we didn't need to rush in we could start over. Separate rooms."
Sydney said "I didn't want to do that, in case I do have to leave you." Tom said "dammit quit saying that." Sydney was crying. Tom said "ok I'll let you talk, but I'm not going to let you just leave me without fighting for you, for us."
Sydney said "Tom I don't want to leave you, but I don't want you to stay with me, if it's not what you want. I may have to let you go, so that you can live the life that you want." Tom said "I am living the life I want, with you." Sydney said "Tom look I know you have dreams, what you want to do, it's not being a high school cop. I mean you're 28." Tom said "yeah but Sydney I'll stay at Jump Street to work with you ok." Sydney said "It's not about that. Look I don't want to force a lifestyle on you. It wouldn't work. I want to honor our love, and maybe I will have to let you go, so that we can do that." Tom said "no. don't say that."
Sydney said "Tommy listen to me please. Just let me talk. I need you to do that for me. you're making this almost unbearable on me." Tom said "ok then if you really don't want to have this conversation, let's don't. Just forget about it." Sydney said "I can't, and besides it would be obvious soon."
Tom said "Syd don't do this to me please." Sydney said "Tommy I love you. I always will. I want to be the best wife to you." He said "Baby you are." Sydney said "Look right now I can focus everything on you, making you feel better after a rough day, having sex all the time, but I'm not going to be able to do that all the time. put you first." Tom said "Sydney if this is about sex." Sydney said "No it's not just that. Look I love you. I know you love me. But I don't want that love to turn into resentment, into anger, which would eventually turn into hate. I don't want to force a lifestyle on you, that you aren't ready for or don't want."
Tom said "Sydney I don't have a clue what you are trying to say to me. Please you're freaking me out, scaring the hell out of me. I just got you home and now you want to leave." Sydney said "no I don't want to. That's why I'm so scared." Tom said "you're not making any sense, what do you mean force a lifestyle on me." Sydney said "Tom I know you have an idea how you want our future, dreams for your career," Tom said "yeah but our future is the key word together Syd. I can't lose you." Sydney said "Tommy I don't want to lose you either. But I don't want to make you stay and then you decide you can't handle it or don't want it anymore."
Tom said "That would never happen. I love you." Sydney said "Tommy please. Look I know I'm struggling saying this. Just bear with me and hear me out." Tom nodded. Sydney said "ok I love you. you are the love of my life." he said "Baby you are mine. I have never loved any girl. Only you I've never been in love before."
Sydney said "I believe you." Tom said "ok go on." Sydney said "ok I love you. I want to be your wife. Forever. I want to grow old with you. I want every minute with you, talking, going on walks, you teasing me, laughing, movies, tv, bowling, even watching bowling, falling asleep on your shoulder, making love, showers everything. I love our life. I have loved every minute of you being back in my life." Tom said "same here on all you said baby."
Sydney said "i would choose you over almost everything. I mean choose you over my job, my friends, money, family if I had it, but there is just one thing I can't and will not ever be able to choose you over and that is my baby." Tom stared at her. He said "I wouldn't expect you too, but I'm not following." Sydney said "Tom I'm nothing like my mother." Tom said "I know that. Your mom is an evil bitch." Sydney said "right, she's evil, she's mean, she's sadistic, she's sick. she's a drug addict, a sex addict, she puts sex with men over her own child, she's a liar, she's a cheater. Tom babies are innocent,"
Tom said "I know that and what she did to you, makes me so mad, She should be in jail for child abuse baby. You should be able to sue for damages" Sydney said "Tom little babies are innocent, all babies, they aren't born bad or evil, I wasn't a bad baby. My dad may have left cause he didn't want to be a dad, he didn't want a baby, but I wasn't a bad baby. I wasn't damaged or evil." Tom said "no I've told you that over and over."
Sydney said "I know, but how sick of a person are you to abuse a baby, either physically or mentally. My mom abused me." Tom said "I know that. I'm so sorry. What she did to you is unforgiveable."
Sydney was crying. Tom held her face in his hands. Sydney said "Tommy I will not choose you over my baby. I can't. No matter how much in love I am, no matter how much I want you and want to stay your wife, your lover, I can't and I won't do it. My baby will always I will have to defend them, and protect them."
Tom said "Sydney what are you trying to tell me. I'm sorry I'm not getting it. Just tell me." Sydney said "I'm scared to. Cause I don't want to lose you, but I have to do this Tommy." Tom said "you're scaring me. Just please tell me. What are you trying to say."
Sydney said "Judy said something yesterday, and at first I didn't think it could be, but then I realized it probably is I think." She stopped. Tom said "you think what." Sydney looked down. Tom said "Sydney what." Sydney said "I think that I maybe pregnant." Tom stared at her. He said "what." Sydney said "I think I maybe pregnant." Tom said "pregnant you mean with a baby." Sydney nodded. Tom said "a baby like a real baby I mean a baby baby like in here." Tom touched her stomach. She said "yes Tom a real baby. A baby who is a life time commitment. A baby that will have to come first. I can't be stressed out and losing sleep, and just having sex and taking care of you all the time. " Tom said "so you're saying you maybe having a baby." She said "yes." Tom stared at her.
Sydney felt sick inside. She was trying her best not to cry, fighting back tears. She was so afraid that she was right, and that by Tom's reaction it was proving it, that he wasn't happy, that he didn't want to be a dad, that she was losing the love of her life, and she was devastated. She was thinking to herself she will have to move far away cause she can't stand to not be with him."
Tom stared at her.