Ashling's POV
"Mom, are you almost ready? I have to be at the school by 4:30."
"Yes, sorry! I just need to put my shoes on." My mom yells from upstairs.
We're about to leave for graduation. I can't believe the day has already come... it feels like I just got here. So much has happened since I moved here months ago, the time really just flew by without any of us even noticing.
"Okay, ready— oh, my gosh! My baby, look at you!"
"Mommm, you better not start crying."
She hugs me and sniffles into my shoulder. "I didn't even graduate yet and you're already crying."
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. I'm just so proud of you. You've been through so much, sweetie. And I know it hasn't been easy. I'm just so happy that we've finally made it to this day. I love you, my Ashling." She hugs me again.
"I love you, too, Mom. But we seriously need to go."
"Right. Come on!"
The school was decorated with all of these balloons and banners, all in purple and white, which are our school colors. The girls are wearing the purple cap and gowns and the guys are wearing white. It turns out that Kaen and I are sitting right next to each other, which is perfect. He wasn't even going to come to graduation since he hadn't been in school, but now he is.
I make my way through the large crowd of students to try and find my friends, and finally I do.
"Hey!"
"Ash!" Akita hugs me. "I can't believe we're graduating. This is insane."
"I know, time fucking flies. I'm happy though, we can finally live our lives outside of school."
"Me, too."
"Hey babe, Blue." Del nods at us as him and Kaen walk up.
"Hey, Del. Hey, baby."
Kaen kisses me, causing Akita's jaw to drop. "What the hell? Are you guys back together?!"
"That'd be correct."
"Oh, my god! This really is the best day ever. Lemme guess... prom house?"
"Yep."
"Aww! Look at us, besties, bros, couples. Wait— this means we can go on double dates!"
Kaen and Del both groan at Akita's idea. "Oh, come on! I think it would be so fun!"
"I mean, we've never really gotten the chance to all hangout together, since Kaen and I were in bit of rocky conditions... but now we can. I think it'd be fun, too."
Kaen looks at me, "You're right. I guess we can."
"Yay!"
"Everyone listen up! We're going to be heading onto the field now, so please get in a neat line in alphabetical order, if you can. We went over everything at rehearsal so this should be a piece of cake." Our Vice Principal tells us.
"Great, I wasn't at rehearsal."
"Don't worry, you're sitting next to me."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah. Turns out there's nobody with a last name in between us, how great is that? Anyway, just watch everyone else first and follow what they do. It's easy— you just walk up there when they call your name, grab your diploma, shake some people's hands, take a picture then come back here. Like I said, just watch what everyone else before us does."
"Okay..."
Our principal starts announcing our entrance as music plays and we walk onto the field. The crowd in the bleachers is insane, plus there's a ton more people standing on the ground, too. Our class is pretty big, so it makes sense that there'd be a lot of people. Let's get this over with!
***
"And with that being said, I'd like to finally congratulate our class of 2021!"
Cheers are yelled from everyone as we all throw our caps up in the air. Sirens go off, confetti is blasted everywhere, and it just looks and feels so amazing.
"You did it, baby! I'm so proud of you."
"I couldn't have done it without you, Ash."
Kaen and I embrace each other, "I know you didn't really have anyone out there cheering for you, but just know that I was. Along with a few others who love you so much."
He smiles at me and plants another kiss on my lips. "Come on, let's go find our friends."
Some time passes by as we take a million pictures with our friends and some teachers, but I'm ready to get the hell out of here.
"You ready to go?"
"Yes, please."
"Mom, I'm gonna ride with Kaen if that's okay? We'll meet you at the restaurant."
"Of course. Congratulations again, both of you." My mom hugs Kaen and me, leaving us.
"You guys are coming tonight, right?"
"Of course!"
"Good. My parents got it catered, so we can chill and eat for a bit. Then my parents are leaving and we can party it up all night! See you guys later."
"Bye, Del."
Finally being graduated really is one of the best feelings— it's so bittersweet.
***
The party at Del's is huge, but I didn't expect anything less. There had to be at least two hundred people here, if not more. Good thing he has a gigantic house.
I've taken some shots with my friends, and also had a few drinks. I'm pretty drunk, but it's a good drunk.
"You having fun?"
"Yes! So much! Are you? I know parties aren't your thing."
"Nah, it's okay. I actually don't mind this one. It'll probably be the last big one for a while, so I'll stick it out."
"Aww, you're so good. I can stop drinking if you want."
He chuckles while holding my hand, "No, it's okay. You have a good time, I like seeing you happy. Just please, don't over do it. I don't want you to get sick."
"Aww, you care about me."
"Of course I do. I love you."
"I love you!"
Kaen's POV
I wasn't lying when I told Ash that I didn't mind being here. She seems so happy, and I'll do anything if it makes her happy. She's been dancing all night and playing games. She's even gotten me to play a few games, too. It was actually kind of fun, to be honest. It'd never be my first choice of activity, but it was okay. Plus, I know Del is happy that I'm not tucked away in his room for once. The two people I care most about in the world are happy... so I'm happy. I watch them both as they play games and laugh, and it's such a beautiful sight.
I try to take it all in— everything that's happened. So much has changed since October.
I actually want to live, now. I have something worth living for. I never thought that day would come that my life had meaning to it.
My entire life, I had never really cared about anything. When I was little, I was always told that I was a "problem child"... and I guess I was. Then as you get older, you realize all of the shit people have been saying about you the whole time really means. After my parents kicked me out, I didn't care about anything. I was only fourteen, and they kicked me out. That's when Ryder really stepped in to help me. He saved my life, mentally and physically. I was on the ledge getting ready to jump... but he saved me.
I was living with him for a while, but then found out my uncle had left his apartment to me, so I moved there. It still felt weird... being fifteen years old and living alone. I was never scared or anything... but it just felt strange. I went about my days like nothing was ever wrong, and it ended up turning me into the biggest asshole ever. I didn't give a shit about anyone, or really even myself. When I was sixteen, I started drinking a lot. I also went through the phase of fucking different girls all the time. I was so numb at that point... I didn't feel anything. Didn't care about anything.
Then Ryder found out I had a drinking problem and basically beat the shit out of to get me to stop, which I did. Then I just stopped seeing girls, too. Nobody sparked my interest. I didn't even look at them anymore, because I just didn't care. Nobody really even bothered talking to me, either. I was just known as the school's asshole. And I was perfectly fine with that... or so I thought. I didn't care that nobody liked me. I didn't care that people were afraid of me. I never gave a shit about what anyone thought about me... until I met Ash.
The day we first met flashes back in my mind, and I remember it like it was just yesterday.
She was the new girl, and I ended up being the first person she met. I only got to look at her for a second, but I immediately thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She made me blush, for the first time ever.
Then in class, she stood up to me. No girl has ever talked to me the way she did, and it lit a fire inside of me.
Then... we fought.
That day was fucking horrible. I didn't want to hurt her... I was just trying to teach her a lesson. And I wasn't about to be beaten by the new girl. I felt so bad that she was hurt because of me, and even worse when I found out about her brain problems. Normally, I would've never gave a shit if I hurt someone... but for some reason I did when it was her being the one that was hurt.
I started feeling things I had never felt before, and it scared me. So I did the only thing I knew how— I pushed her away, along with any feelings I had for her.
Then that night in the car happened when I drove her home. I don't know what came over me, but I wanted to kiss her. I hadn't felt an attraction for anyone in so long, so I think that's what sparked it. She was the first girl in over a year that peaked my interest, so I guess that's why my feelings for her became so strong so fast.
When I found out that I made her brain injury worse, I wanted to go on a fucking rampage. It made me so angry that I hurt her even worse than I thought, and it led to me overthinking. I thought to myself, that I really was as destructive as everyone made me out to be. I hated it.
I found myself thinking about her more and more everyday... and I didn't know what to do. I was so fucking confused. I told myself that whatever it was that I was feeling, needed to stop. So I did exactly that. I pushed her out of my mind, and thought I had it under control.
But then Ryder arranged that whole tutoring thing. I knew I was going to be totally fucked when he told us that. I had been trying so hard to get this girl out of my mind, and then I was told I was going to be seeing her multiple times a week.
That's when it all really happened, I think. When I really started to fall for her.
She understood me better than anyone ever has. She didn't care that I yelled at her and got angry. She didn't even care that I beat her up prior to this. She spent her free time helping the guy who was the biggest asshole ever to her. She made me a priority—something I had never been before. She made me feel calm... something I had never really felt. All of these things I was feeling for her... were so strange. But at the same time, I didn't want them to just go away.
Then I almost kissed her... again.
This time I really was going to, but she stopped it. I felt like an idiot, because I thought I was reading the signs wrong. So then once again, I tried pushing away my feelings for her.
Then we fell asleep in my apartment together.
When she found me in Del's room at his party that night, I was honestly glad to see her. She was a drunken mess, and ended up confessing more feelings than she wanted to. She told me she thought I hated her... and said that she wanted me to kiss her.
I wanted nothing more than to confess how I felt about her... but I couldn't. At that point, I knew she deserved better than me. I didn't want her to have to deal with me.
There's been so many times where we've have these little moments, and each time it happened my feelings for her only grew stronger.
When she told me all about her father, I felt my heart break for the first time in my life. Knowing all of the pain she's been through... I wanted to protect her with every fiber of my being. I told myself I would never let anyone hurt her ever again, and that I would never hurt her... but that wasn't the case.
When I lied to her and broke up with her, the expression on her face was something I never wanted to see again. She looked so betrayed, and hurt. I hated myself so much for what I did to her. I didn't think it was possible to love a person as much as I love her, or miss them so much it makes your heart ache. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed her back. When she forgave me, a giant wave of relief washed over me. I thought she was going to hate me and want nothing to do with me... but look at us now.
All of the shit we've been through lead us here. And it hasn't been easy... but I wouldn't want it any other way.
For the first time in my life... I was happy. Genuinely happy. It felt like everything was finally how it was meant to be— perfect.