CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The night was quiet and Aleksander had yet to return to the bedroom. It made Liliya a little grumpy. After her time with Alina, she just wanted him. She wanted to be around the man she loved more than she could ever understand. The past few weeks had been messy and she had nearly died. She didn't want to lose him. Ever.
Her knuckles rapped against the door of his office and she stepped inside. The knock was more of a warning than a request and she was pleased to find him alone. He was finishing up a few pieces of paperwork and when he stopped writing, he looked up. A smile on his face at her appearance. He beckoned her over with a wave of his hand.
"I will be back in the room soon," He said as he met her gaze. Liliya pouted and moved around his desk. He pushed his chair back and Liliya placed herself in his lap. Her legs straddling his waist and her arms wrapped around his neck. She leant forward and pressed a long but soft kiss to his lips. Enjoying that feeling. His kisses never failed to make butterflies erupt in her stomach.
"I know but we need to talk," Liliya mumbled against his lips before he pecked her lips a few more times. His arms wrapped tightly around her. He wanted to keep her close. They had both missed each other more than they liked to admit.
"We do?" He asked as he pulled back. Liliya sighed and took a hold of his hand. Her fingers intertwining with his. A frown on her lips. Aleksander just watched, waiting to see what she'd say. Not a hint of emotion crossing his face. He was stoic and calm as he always was. Liliya had grown used to it but could see the curiosity in his eyes, "Isaak wants me dead so I have decided to push our plans forward... quicker," Liliya explained as she ran her fingers along the side of his face. Her hand cupped his jaw and she leant forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
"What have you done?" He asked, pulling back. She smirked and let her hands rest against his chest. Fiddling with the buttons as she decided how much she was willing to admit. He would find out no matter what but she liked to make him guess. It was a fun game to play now that they had Alina perfectly under their control.
"Nothing you wouldn't disapprove of, kotik. It was only some fun with our precious summoner," Liliya grinned. Aleksander tutted softly and moved his hand to her chin, lifting it up so she would look into his eyes. They stared at each other and Liliya's grin widened even more. Her cheeks aching from the smile.
"I thought we were waiting," He responded. The disapproval laced his tone and Liliya shrugged. She grabbed his hand and kissed his palm before she shuffled forward on his lap. She purposefully ground her hips down against him, her lips moving to his ear.
"It was nothing like what I do to you. Just some simple kissing. Don't be jealous, kotik," She whispered before pressing a kiss to his jaw. She pulled back and he stared at her. The lust in his eyes but he knew better. He shook his head and gripped her hips, pulling her down against him.
"You know you are mine, milaya," He warned. She chuckled and nodded her head before tucking some hair behind her ear. Her lips pressed against his before she relaxed, turning back to see what he had been writing. It was simply paperwork. It looked dull but most of it was.
"Lev and Roma have betrayed me, betrayed us so I had to do something. She was receptive and she trusts me. She trusted me enough to confess her attraction to both of us. It was rather endearing, I must admit. It's a shame we have to use her," Liliya pouted. She didn't actually care if they had to use Alina. She knew it was wrong to care so little but after Lev, she found herself slowly beginning to give up. Nobody would understand. The Grisha were prejudice and back-stabbing. What was coming to Ravka was entirely deserved.
"I knew you were the perfect choice for this," He said. There was a hint of self-satisfaction and smugness in his words but Liliya paid no mind. There would always be arrogance but they were in this together now. They always had been.
"I remember you had once sworn that you would never marry. I'm glad I was the one who changed your mind," She mumbled. Her fingers running through his hair. It was a little longer now but it was perfect. Everything about him was always so perfect. Liliya rested her forehead against his and they just listened to each other breathe for a long moment.
"Perfection is not easy to come by," He responded after a moment. Liliya grinned and knocked her nose playfully with Aleksander's. Her eyes opening to meet his practically black ones. The two of them just staring with adoration for one long moment.
"I'm perfection?" She asked curiously. Her fingers moving to skim along his arm up to his shoulder, tracing patterns on the way up. He nodded and pressed a kiss to her lips and then across the soft skin of her face and jaw. His hands stayed firmly on her waist throughout the kisses and it only made her squirm more.
"That is exactly what you are," He promised. His hand moved to rest against her cheek and he kissed her passionately. Liliya didn't waste any time kissing him back. Her hands moved to grip the roots of his hair, their chests pressed together. She had missed him, she needed him. Her stomach erupting in butterflies at the kiss as she tried to get as close as she could.
But Aleksander pulled away after a moment. His lips moving to kiss along her jaw and down to her neck. He softly sucked the exposed skin of her neck. Her kefta was still in the bedroom which left much of her exposed for him to kiss. His teeth gently nipping at her skin as he enjoyed the taste of her skin. He had missed her.
"I love you, Aleksander. You are perfection," Liliya admitted before a soft whine escaped her lips. Her grip tightened on his kefta when she felt him nip harshly at the skin. Her whole body was weak underneath him. She couldn't help herself. He made her weak. It was jarring but wonderful.
"I will never let someone else have you like this," He whispered as he trailed his kisses towards her ear. She grinned and opened her eyes to look down at him. He had pulled away now and instead just looked at her. His hands holding her close as they just admired each other. The soft blue of her eyes clashing with the brown almost black colour of his. His hair always looked so elegant and his face. It was nothing like men she had known before. Rather than sharp angles and sculptured perfection, there was a softness. The age evident in the eyes that she adored.
As she stared at him and he stared back, it felt like they were staring into each other's soul. Tortured, broken and yet so perfectly put together. Their souls were cracked and damaged but those cracks were filled with gold. Something new and different that made them perfect, drawn to each other. They held value that only the other could see.
"I never want anyone but you," Liliya said as she looked at him. He nodded and pressed a kiss to her lips.
"There will never be anyone else," He admitted. The redhead grinned and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She kissed him over and over, pressing long pecks to his lips before she settled her head into the crook of his neck, "I would never have married you otherwise," He whispered. Liliya nodded and then pushed herself off his lap.
"Come to bed, Aleksander. I want to show you how much I appreciate you," Liliya said as she held her hand out. Aleksander glanced at the work and then looked back onto her. The neutral expression came back over his face and she already knew the answer. He didn't have to say a word, she simply sighed and walked towards the door.
"I will be there in an hour," He said. His voice stoic and calm. There wasn't a syllable out of place. It was still frustrating how she sometimes couldn't read him but she nodded.
"I hope you will be. Your wife nearly died and she misses you. If you don't come, I'll be back," Liliya shrugged. She wasn't purposefully trying to manipulate him and he wouldn't be manipulated but she truly had missed him. It had been so long and she hadn't been with him in over a week. It was something she loved having with him. She needed him.
"I will be there," He said seriously. Liliya nodded and smiled before she disappeared out of the office. Her feet padding across the corridor and through the war room. She then slipped through to the bedroom and fell onto the bed. She had missed being in a real bed and it felt good to be back home again.
***
The next morning, Liliya ached but she was trying not to show it. Aleksander had lived up to his promise but she had still found herself staring up at the ceiling all night long. Thoughts in her head that she wished would go away. All she could think about was Roma and Lev, it was going around and around in her head. She felt dizzy and sick from the constant overwhelming crushing thoughts that just wouldn't leave.
When she had slept, she woke up with a nightmare. Not anything serious and Aleksander hadn't even woken up but it was there. Playing in the back of her constantly. It was infuriarting and she ended up getting up early. Her run distracted her but even training with Ivan for the first time in months did little to help.
Liliya avoided the man at all costs and after her confession to Aleksander, their relationship had been even more icy than usual. The training helped get any anger out and briefly distracted her but as she walked back to meet Arina for breakfast, it was back. Biting at her ankles like a rabid dog. Gnawing at her skin until there was nothing left.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Arina commented as she spotted Liliya walking down the corridor. The redhead rolled her eyes and came to a stop. They wouldn't go in for a few more minutes. They would have to sit apart and Liliya had to speak to her. Arina was the only one who seemed to know anything about Roma and Lev.
"I can't stop thinking about Roma and Lev," Liliya confessed as she leant against the wall. Arina raised an eyebrow at her words, tilting her head slightly. The redhead sighed and moved her back against the wall. A soft huff escaped her lips as she rubbed her face with her hands. Arina expected her to go on but she didn't.
"What about them?" Arina urged as she nudged Liliya with her elbow. The redhead lifted her head and moved her hands to rest against the fabric of her kefta. Her fingers running across the matieral before she met Arina's gaze again.
"Why they would betray me, why they left, everything. I didn't do anything. Roma has been my friend for a decade and a half. That isn't thrown away by some maniac," Liliya explained. The words tumbled from her lips without her really comprehending them first. She shouldn't care what Roma did. They would all be betrayed soon enough but she wanted to know why. She had to know why. Roma had thrown her to one side like a useless potato skin and she didn't appreciate being so easily discarded. Not when she was one of the most powerful women in Ravka.
"It's Isaak," Arina corrected. Maniac would be the right word to describe a simple killer but Isaak was different. They knew that but Liliya never liked admitting it. She didn't want to admit that Isaak was a new kind of enemy. A new kind of person that could kill them all if he tried hard enough. It was something she didn't like to think about often.
"I lived with him for most of my life. That's no excuse," Liliya mumbled. Her fingers dug into the fabric before she relaxed. They dropped to her sides and she turned her head to Arina, looking at her again. The black-haired woman seemed incredulous at her comment which only caused Liliya's eyebrows to furrow again.
"So you are used to it," Arina explained. Liliya scoffed and threw her hands up before she paced across the room. Most of the Grisha seemed to have passed by so her voice grew a little louder. It was still public but she didn't feel the need to be so hushed.
"Even if I didn't, I wouldn't betray my friends. I would never betray you because of Isaak," Liliya argued. She knew that she couldn't promise to never betray Arina because here she stood but she would never go against Arina for Isaak. Isaak was a monster. He was powerful but unpredictable, uncertain and completely reckless.
"They're different to us. They're men, Li," Arina shrugged. Her words were so nonchalant, as if it explained everything. Liliya rolled her eyes. Men were not inherently distrustful creatures despite what Arina and Liliya had been put through. Most of the Grisha men were sexist and thought the women as less but that wasn't true. Roma and Aleksander were perfect examples of those that thought of women as equal. It was not an explanation. Even using that excuse made Liliya's blood boil. Gender did not equate loyalty. Character did.
"Like that makes any difference. They're just the same. Abilities and strength. I could beat Roma in a fight within a minute. They're not different. They're just traitors. It's their character not what gender they identify as," Liliya snapped, blowing a piece of hair from her face. Arina rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the wall. She grabbed Liliya's arm and pulled the redhead to face her. The pacing was growing tedious and frustrating.
"I don't think they wanted to kill you," Arina repeated. Her emphasis on wanted only made it worse. If they didn't want to do something, it shouldn't have been done. Not when it came to killing someone. Liliya had killed people but in every case, she had found herself wanting to. She did not take it lightly, she was guilty of many things but doing things flippantly was not something she would not. Not that Liliya even believed that they cared for her. Lev and Roma probably wanted to sell her out. They were evil in that way.
"You put too much faith in them, Arina," Liliya spat before she pulled her arm away. She paced down the corridor before turning back and walking towards the black-haired woman again. The loook of annoyance reappeared and Arina shook her head slightly.
"They're our friends," Arina said. Liliya shook her head and paused in her movements. Letting that idea sink in before she shook her head again.
"They were our friends," Liliya corrected before adding, "The second they sold me out, they lost that privelge and their rank alongside it." The bitterness invaded her tone and Arina recognised it immediately. It seemed like she was hurt more than angry which Arina understood. They had been friends for years yet now they betrayed her.
"Come on, we need to eat and train," Arina decided. It was not worth arguing over Roma and Lev or even discussing them. They both knew exactly what Liliya would do the second she saw them and thinking about why they had done it was pointless. It would make Liliya angrier and Arina frustrated that Liliya couldn't understand their position. It was a losing game so Arina quit while she was ahead. It was futile.
"I already trained with Ivan. I might pass," Liliya waved off the black-haired woman before she walked over to the door. She pulled it open but then Arina spoke. Her eyebrows pulled together and clear confusion in her tone.
"Ivan?" Arina asked. Liliya nodded and the familiar smirk appeared on her lips. Her hand moved to open the door and she turned back slightly.
"I wanted to punch him," Liliya responded. Her tone was saccharine sweet and overly innocent which only Arina snort. She shook her head and walked in beside Liliya
"I'll be training either way," Arina shrugged in response. Liliya nodded.
"Alright," She said before the two parted ways. Arina sat with her tidemaker friends while Liliya sat alone. She didn't enjoy sitting with the other Inferni that were still around. They were younger and agonising to converse with. So, she took her food and sat by herself. It was how she preferred it and everyone had realised that she didn't want to talk.
Breakfast was quiet and once it was over, Liliya went back to her room. She passed the war room and had a half a mind to knock all the markers that Roma and Lev had placed off the map. The anger hitting her like a carriage. It was overwhelming but rather than give in, she moved to lie in bed. Her head buried in the pillows and her arms buried underneath them.
A soft huff escaped her lips before she rolled over. She pressed the pillow into her face and tried her best to push the boots off her feet. But another pair of hands moved them off for her. She pulled the pillow back and Aleksander was there. He placed the boots down and then closed the door before he walked over to her. The two were silent as he sat down.
Then she shuffled up to him and curled up in his lap. Her head rested against him as he rested his arms against her. His hand running through her hair as she closed her eyes. No words were exchanged but they weren't needed. He knew that she had had a nightmare and he knew she needed to sleep more and he was going to try his best to help her.
***
author's note! ARINA CONTENT and soft! kirigan, lilikiri make me just feel lonely to be hoenst, i love my boi general aleksander kirigan, i just... he's amazing but yes! we are into the slightly more foreboding part of the story, things are coming that im VERY EXCITED FOR! we've got quite a bit of plot that's gonna jump out and i- gah i'm very excited, we are also like past the halfway point!!! which is very fun, the ending of this act will finally be revealed hehehe but yes! i'm very excited, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! (and are satisfied with the lilikiri content) <3