CHAPTER TWELVE.
Finding the safe houses was the easy part of Liliya's journey. She was able to locate them with relative ease. Her memory served her well and the notes she had made over the years certainly helped her in that department. But getting into them was the difficult part. Sometimes she had to break down the doors, other times she simply couldn't find an entrance and with a few of them, she had discovered that people now lived in them.
It helped narrow her list of locations down but the constant moving left Liliya exhausted. The week didn't seem like it would be enough time and she was quickly becoming burned out. Her motivation was deteriorating and as she lay down in the early morning sun, she increasingly didn't want to get up and go searching.
She missed Aleksander and she missed training with Alina. She missed Arina's stupid comments and training. She missed Roma and Lev weirdly enough. It was stupid and completely ridiculous but she craved the social interaction. It was something she hadn't expected but it was something that had developed. Liliya always tried to rationalise it and used the last year as an excuse. It wasn't the social bonds or the people she missed. It was just being away from the Little Palace. Away from the place she always called home. That's why she was so unmotivated. Not the people. She didn't want to rely on people.
But Liliya eventually got up. She travelled, continued with her quest and as night fell, she set up another camp site. She was in a clearing deep in the wilderness. A village was a few miles away but she didn't want to go there. If Isaak found her, they would be in danger and nobody could be in danger. Liliya had to deal with him on her own. That's the whole point of her leaving the Little Palace. To find him or kill him or just do something useful and not just sit in the Palace.
Liliya finished eating and leant back against the backpack. Her hands resting against her stomach as she stared up at the sky. Naming the stars in her head and tilting her head as she tried to recall the name of the constellations. Aleksander had gone through them with her a few times and she always liked watching them when she was younger so it should be easy. But her mind was too cluttered.
"It's dangerous to camp alone," The voice of Isaak made her jump out of her skin. She shot up, reaching out for the flint and steel she had brought with her but found it gone. Her teeth gritted but she still had the camp-fire burning so she wasn't entirely defenceless. The flames would assist her if she needed it. She just had to be able to concentrate.
"I wanted to find you," Liliya said simply as she moved to stand up. Isaak was shrouded in shadows. They seemed to linger on his skin, flowing off him in the most gracious way. He looked like Kirigan but his shadows were so much more chaotic. They looked wrong and out of place but still somehow perfect.
"Why is that? Have you told your General what I asked?" Isaak asked. Liliya scoffed and shook her head, pulling the kefta closed. Her fingers moved to quickly button it up. She didn't know what Isaak planned to do but she knew that it wouldn't be good, whatever it was.
"Like I said, I'm not your lackey. Roma and Lev didn't tell anyone either. Though I don't think you revealed your plans to them," Liliya responded as she looked up at him. His forest green eyes seemed so much duller in the firelight. The trees stretching shadows across the clearing. The moonlight barely lighting up the area. It was just the fire and that left both of them in shadow.
"They're insignificant," Isaak said as he stepped closer. The shadows following his command and she watched as they swarmed the area. The two of them falling into darkness. The fire was put out and it was just them. Them and the shadows. No fire, no other way to hurt him. Isaak was smart, she had to give him credit for that.
"And you'll be dead before you ever get your hands on the Summoner," Liliya promised. Her words were said with earnest even if she didn't quite believe them. Her hands moving quickly and the shadows disappeared, receding into nothing. The moonlight invading the space again. Liliya didn't mind the darkness but she wanted to see Isaak for this.
"You sound so sure of that, malysh," He said as he stepped closer. His tone was condescending, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips. He didn't believe that she could do anything significant. He had always seen her as less than but Liliya knew better now. She knew that she was better. Isaak was just a man with an inflated ego but she had power and people and she knew what he wanted.
"Because I know what you want to do and I won't let you," Liliya shrugged. She stepped closer to the man. A metre or so between them now but she could see his face properly. How the moonlight reflected on his scar and the darkness that clouded his eyes. He was mad with power. He always had been but it was as if Liliya was seeing it for the first time.
"Do tell," He prompted as he stepped back. He kicked her backpack, watching as a few objects rolled out. He then began to stroll around her campsite. His eyes never leaving her even as he walked. Liliya licked her lips before she decided to indulge him.
"You want to use her. Just like my General does," Liliya shrugged. It was something she had thought long and hard about. He had already implied he wanted Alina to be free from the Little Palace but he had never said why. It only made sense that he wanted to use her.
"And use her in what way?" Isaak asked. It was almost like he was testing her. A small smile spreading across his face. He was finding some sick enjoyment in this game they were playing.
"To destroy the Fold, expand it. I haven't worked it out yet but you want to be feared, you are feared. Maybe you want to use that to your advantage. Manipulate her. I don't quite know," Liliya explained. There was no point putting up a fake confident front. Isaak would dismantle it in seconds so she was truthful.
"So you think you have everything figured out?" He asked, the amusement laced his tone. His smile broadening out as he watched her shift where she was stood. Her body then turned and she met his gaze, looking into his eyes.
"I know a lot more than you think I do," Liliya said as she stepped closer to him. Isaak raised an eyebrow, his smile still there. He definitely found this game amusing and she hated it.
"And if you are wrong and I... want to kill the Sun Summoner?" Isaak suggested, cocking an eyebrow. Liliya pursed her lips and shook her head.
"She's too valuable," Liliya responded quickly. Isaak laughed. A hearty but condescending laugh as he shook his head.
"To you, yes. To me, no. She is just another pathetic little Summoner. She's replaceable," He shrugged as he stepped closer to Liliya. She cocked an eyebrow at him and moved her hands quickly. The motion was a little too rough even for Liliya but she managed to surprise him. The shadows hitting him like a brick wall. He was thrown to the side.
But Isaak was quick to get back to his feet. He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. He hadn't expected that at the very least. It seemed he had struck a nerve so decided to capitalise on it, "I could kill her and find someone else so quickly. Her death would be insignificant," He shrugged. Liliya rolled her eyes and moved her hands again but he expected that attack.
In retalation, he threw his own shadows out. They smacked her against the chest and she was thrown back. Much like the last time they had encountered each other, she was thrown like a ragdoll. Her body crumpling against the roots of a nearby tree but she pushed herself up.
Isaak came closer and she threw the fist punch. It landed on his jaw but it didn't affect him. He was used to the pain. Used to torture. He had faced so much of it over his life. He was quick to shove her back. His hand gripped her throat, nails digging into the side of it. Her oxygen quickly becoming cut off as he pushed her into the tree. Liliya grappled with his hands, trying to pry them away but she was becoming weaker. It felt impossible.
"Don't try and beat me, malysh. You won't suceed," Isaak whispered into her ear. But that only gave Liliya motivation. She kicked him in the groin and he let out a groan of pain. His grip loosening enough for her to twist his hand away from her. She shoved her knee into his stomach and threw a punch at his face. Isaak chuckled at her movements, a pained sadistic smile on his face.
It was in that moment, she realised she had made a mistake.
***
Liliya barely escaped Isaak. Her whole body ached, bruises covering every part of her. Her head throbbed, her nose bled. Her cheeks were cut and her arms were scratched. Sharp bushes, nettles and various weeds had scraped her body after Isaak had managed to rip her kefta from her. It lay in scraps in the middle of the Ravkan wilderness as did the rest of her clothes.
It was pointless to go back. She just needed to get back home. To the Little Palace. She was sure that she had twisted her ankle at some point during the fight and couldn't even put it in the stirrup. Every movement caused it more pain and the constant jostling from her horse made everything worse.
Her eyes could barely stay open as she arrived back at the Little Palace. It had been a day since Isaak had attacked her and night had fallen again. She just wanted to get home. It was late and it was dark and she knew the Healers would be asleep so once she had tied up her horse, she went straights for her and Aleksander's chambers. It was difficult with her foot. Every movement made her hiss in pain and even the smallest amount of pressure brought her closer to tears but she just had to get in bed.
If she was lucky, everything could be fixed in the morning. She just had to get there first and it was not an easy feat but she did it. Her hands gripped the door frame into the bedroom as she limped inside. The room was still lit up by a few candles but she didn't question it. Her mind too preoccupied with the agony in her leg to even care if Aleksander was awake. Though she assumed he wasn't.
Liliya used the dresser to drag herself towards the bathroom. She needed to wash her face and check how bad the damage was before she even thought about getting into bed. Bloody sheets - although something they had dealt with a few times - was not something Liliya wanted to worry about come the next morning. She just needed to get cleaned up.
Once she reached the ensuite door, she pushed it open and walked inside. Upon reaching the sink, she pressed all her weight against it. Her gaze moving to the mirror to check what she looked like. What she saw was worse than she expected. A black eye was developing. Her nose was broken and crooked. The blood pouring down her cupid's bow on both sides. Bruised cheeks and she looked tired. Very tired. Her face almost looked hollow. That was what she could make out in the dull candlelight. She couldn't imagine what she would have looked like to the people she passed by on her ride back.
"Milaya?" Aleksander startled her. Her head snapping to him and she watched his face change. He walked over and took a hold of Liliya's hand, turning her to face him. His eyes searching hers for answers but she couldn't provide any. She was too tired. She just felt like sobbing now that he was holding her, "We need to take you to the Healers," He said but Liliya shook her head. Her hands moving to grip her shoulders.
"Just... help me clean up and we can go to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you. I didn't..." Liliya attempted but she trailed off, unsure what to say. Aleksander shook his head but let go of her hand. He then gestured for her to come over to sit on the stool in the room. Liliya moved slowly, hissing in pain before she sat. Her back leant against the wall as she closed her eyes, squeezing them shut.
"Where is your kefta?" He asked. Liliya took a deep breath and tried to make a vague gesture to explain it but fell short. She was exhausted so Aleksander didn't repeat the question. Instead, he grabbed a cloth and began to gently wipe the blood from her nose. His touch made her wince. Her cheeks hurt even from the slightest touch and the cuts were irritated by the clammy feeling of his hands.
"You're a liar," Liliya muttered after a moment of silence. Aleksander stayed completely silent, unsure how to respond. His movements pausing briefly before he dipped the cloth in water and moved to the wounds on her arm. The blouse was now discarded on the floor as he tried his best to get rid of any excess blood that she hadn't already wiped away, "You're not a heavy-sleeper," Liliya added after a moment of silence. Aleksander smiled at her words and watched as her eyes fluttered open, "When I said I didn't want to wake you with my nightmares, you said you were a heavy-sleeper. You're a liar," She explained, attempting to be more clear. Aleksander nodded.
"I remember, Liya," He said as he pulled her legs to wrap around his torso so he could get closer to her body. Pressing the cloth against all the bloody spots, irritating a few scabs but not picking at any. Liliya would certainly pick at them if they didn't get them healed by the morning, "And you're right," He added after a moment. Liliya smiled.
"Why did you lie?" She asked curiously. Aleksander went silent for a moment. The cool feeling of the cloth against her skin indicating that he had stopped. When she opened her eyes, she noticed how he had this faraway unsure look on his face. He then met her gaze.
"I didn't want the guilt to consume you," He responded simply. He said it in such a nonchalant yet serious manner that it almost didn't sound sweet but it was. He cared. Even all that time ago. He cared about her. It made her grin but that just made her face hurt so she forced herself to look neutral. Though that hurt equally as much.
"All those nights I lay awake, you were too?" She asked. Aleksander nodded and she frowned, "I didn't mean to keep you awake," She mumbled. He nodded and then began to clean the wounds again. His movements were slow and gentle. Once he was done with her arms, he moved to her collarbone. The deep scars on her collarbones were gone and instead replaced with deep wounds.
They were red and irritated. Blood had sept into her blouse where the wound had been and the blood dried up on her skin. With a few wipes of the wash-cloth, the blood was gone but the wounds weren't going anywhere. The scars were going to stay and Aleksander knew that Liliya wouldn't let those wounds be healed. The scars on her collarbones would be going nowhere.
"I like the nights when you fall asleep and stay asleep. You're peaceful," He mumbled. It made Liliya chuckle and she stared down at him, wondering what was going on inside his head. He was ruthless and cruel and callous. He was calculated and manipulative but she knew there was something else underneath. Some kinder part of him and she was privileged to see that. She didn't mind him either way. He was perfect - to her - and she just felt happy that he was vulnerable with her. It showed trust. Mutual trust.
"Do you watch me sleep?" She asked, a teasing smile on her face. Liliya tried not to pay attention to the pain even if it felt overwhelming. Aleksander was more important to her. This was more important than the pain she felt.
"I don't make a habit of it," He responded. His words felt almost diplomatic and she chuckled. He was trying to avoid the question but he had admitted to it. Liliya loved that and she leant forward and pressed a long kiss to his lips.
"We should get into bed," She mumbled once she had pulled away. Aleksander nodded and checked over her body. Most of the wounds had been cleaned now. There were some on her legs but he knew that she was exhausted. He was equally so and sleep sounded better than staying up for a moment longer. The wounds would be healed by tomorrow afternoon.
"Can you walk on your leg?" He asked, gesturing towards it. Liliya shook her head and he nodded. He discarded the cloth in the sink and then moved his hands under her body. One under her knees and the other under her back. Liliya clung to him as he carried her into the bedroom.
Once she was placed on the bed, he helped her out of her pants and put the night dress over her head. He pressed a soft kiss to her neck and then moved to his side of the bed. His book was left open on the table but with a flick of his hand, it was closed. Liliya was much more important than reading to him. He needed to pay attention to her.
With some difficulty, Liliya lay down and rolled to face him. Her arms moving to wrap around him. He pulled her close and cuddled her. A part of him wanted to seek out the comfort of hearing her heartbeat like he normally would but with her wounds, he knew better. So, he just held her. He kept her comfortable and ensured that nothing would hurt her. He didn't want her to get hurt. Not anymore. He had to protect her. He seemed to protect her.
***
author's note! soft!kirigan owns my fucking soul, just putting that out there, this chapter was both chaotic but made me soft, it's not my favourite and honestly i'm in like a sleepy daze so i have NO IDEA if this is good or not but i wanted to write it cause babies and i needed to stoP procrastinating cause that's just not IT. anyway, here it is, soft kirigan is my love and isaak is an arsehole but WHATS NEW yk? i hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading!! <3