I feel a small hand grip mine, squeezing surprisingly hard. Grimacing, the gesture thankfully pulls me out of my spiraling thoughts. When I look towards Isla, her hand still firmly holding mine, I can see sympathy swirling in her steel-grey eyes.
Amidst the congratulatory comments from the pack, with Liam still refusing to meet my gaze, I return Isla's firm grip on my hand. I know I have no right to be upset. Liam never made any commitments to me. I mean, shit, I'm on the brink of being engaged myself. But still, the ache I feel in what I'd consider my soul suggests otherwise, assuming I even have one.
Liam's father, still standing, speaks again, "In light of my son's upcoming union, I will also be relinquishing my role as Alpha of the Mac Tíre Dubh." A surge of heat churns within me as I swear I catch a glimpse of satisfaction flicker across Caitlín's face while she fusses over her daughter. "It's time for the new generation to assume their rightful positions," he asserts, his gaze filled with pride as he looks down at Liam, "and a strong alpha requires an equally formidable mate by their side to lead."
"Here, here!" Oscar shouts, banging his hand again on the table.
As the room erupts again, most of the comments are positive; however, from the expressions on a few of the pack faces, it's clear that not everyone is pleased with the union.
As the noise begins to settle, Shay stands up, wearing a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Cousin, may I be the first to say, well done. It's good to see family responsibilities and pride coming before what's right."
"Son, that's enough," Sean, Shay's father, growls from his position near Patrick, while others in the room express their disapproval. Eileen, seated next to her husband, places a hand over her heart and shakes her head. But it's the subtle twitch of Siobhan's lips that gives me pause. Does she support Shay's sentiments?
"Can't fault a wolf for speaking the truth. You can all feel it," Shay asserts, directing his gaze at Liam, who remains fixed on his plate.
"Shay!" Griffin's voice interrupts, firm but calm, commanding respect. "Stand down."
"You know I am right," Shay grumbles under his breath but complies, sinking back into his seat. Patrick acknowledges Griffin with a nod, a flicker of appreciation crossing his features, sparking a realization within me.
Griffin should be their Alpha.
Clapping her hands to regain the clan's attention, Siobhan speaks up next, "The food's getting cold. Let's all enjoy Christmas lunch."
"Agreed, my love," Patrick responds, prompting the pack to start loading up their plates.
Feeling a nudge at my side, I lean in so Isla can whisper in my ear. "He's right. He's not hers." I raise my brow, waiting for more, but in typical Isla fashion, she doesn't elaborate and simply starts eating her meal.
****************************************************
Compartmentalizing the announcement, I focus on the food and the company, which is welcoming, at least at our end of the table. I'm grateful that we're surrounded by some of the younger families and even get a chance to hold baby Chloe. Ava practically thrusts Bridget's newborn into my arms, telling me to get some practice.
Surprisingly, holding the tiny angel feels comforting—memories of holding Isla flooding back. Watching Chloe's large blue eyes slowly close as I cradle her to my chest warms something inside of me.
"I see you've got a mother's touch." Bridget smiles, her eyes sparkling as she admires her baby girl. "Chloe's stubborn and doesn't like to nap during the day. But in your arms, she seems quite content."
Grinning, I glance at Griffin, a knowing look passing between us as I continue to rock slowly. "I may have had some practice holding babies back in the day."
Ava catches onto my comment and smirks at Isla before turning back to me. "Good, because I'm definitely going to be calling on Aunty Erin when My Wolf and I need some quiet time."
"Doe, we might as well ask Erin to move in if we're waiting for her visits for quiet time." Leaning over, Griffin nibbles on Ava's neck, eliciting a squeal from her before they share a kiss.
Smirking, I notice her hand moving beneath the table, eliciting a soft grumble from Griffin. I snuggle closer to baby Chloe, trying to ignore my family. But when I glance away, my stomach does a little flip as I meet Liam's gaze. He looks pained, and I quickly remind myself not to go there. He's not mine...
Deciding to be mature about it, I mentally chuckle at the idea of putting on my big girl panties. Actually, scratch that. I prefer to go pantiless! Offering Liam a neutral smile, I then avert my gaze.
I can't be angry at Liam for fulfilling expectations. I've no claim on him, and even if I did, it's not like we could be together.
****************************************************
After lunch, with the table cleared and the pack members dispersing around the Ranch, baby Chloe now napping in her father's arms in the large living room, I excuse myself and nod to Ava. Storytime...
"I'm going for a walk with Erin," Ava informs Griffin, rising from her seat and giving him a kiss on the lips.
"That's fine, Doe. Shay and I need to speak with Patrick anyway," Griffin replies with a grin, seizing Ava as she attempts to pull away and giving her a passionate kiss.
Turning away from them and glancing at Isla, I offer her the opportunity to join us. As expected, she declines, mentioning she has work to do before quickly slipping away to God knows where.
Ava shrugs and disengages herself from her mate, giggling as he playfully swats at her butt.
I wonder if Alexei and I will ever be that comfortable with each other?
Moving outside, we settle on a cozy love seat positioned in front of a roaring fire pit overlooking the lake. Wrapping ourselves in thick woolen blankets, we sit.
"You okay?" Ava asks.
"With what?"
"With, you know," she replies, glancing back towards the Ranch and where I assume Liam is.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Come on, Erin, even a blind person can see the chemistry between the two of you."
Sighing and staring out at the water, I clench my fist. "There is no 'us.'"
"Is that because you don't want an 'us'?" Ava asks, emphasizing the word with air quotes. "Or because you can't have an 'us'?"
"Can't," I reply, meeting her gaze. She waits patiently, so I continue. I explain about my contract with Alexei, how I've known since I was a teenager that he would be my future husband, and how there's no way out of it.
I explain that the Petrovs were merely my caretakers, grooming me to be the ideal companion for their lord and master. I share some of the lessons and punishments I endured, mostly being confined to my room with meals withheld. However, I omit the punishments I received directly from Alexei. There's no point in her harboring hatred towards the man with whom I'll soon be sharing at least one child.
Then I reveal my impending engagement to her. "I can't believe you kept all this from me. No, scratch that. I can't believe you managed to hide all that from me. I'm such a terrible friend. I should have known," Ava laments, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Babe, don't beat yourself up too much. No one knew. Well, no one besides a few select members of our community," I reassure her.
"Still, I can't help but feel guilty for not realizing it earlier," she confesses, and I reach over to pull her into a comforting hug.
"Ava, I love you, but sometimes you're a little too trusting, if you know what I mean." I gesture towards the Ranch house, and she grimaces, sinking back into her seat.
"Fair point, but still. Are you absolutely certain there's no way out?" I take a moment to process her question. The contract has been kept under lock and key, and I've only glimpsed the original once. However, I know it was sealed with a curse upon signing, and the only exit is through death.
I nod solemnly. "Unfortunately, yes."
"Have you actually seen it?"
I nod, "I don't remember every detail, but Gerald confirmed the binding and the consequences. He was the one who cursed it."
Ava's eyes widen. "No way! Gerald, as in our dick-loving, coffee-making extraordinaire, and friend?"
"Yeah, that's him. He's pretty powerful too." I confirm, thinking back warmly on my friend and mentor. Gerald took pity on me when I was first with the Petrovs. Maybe it was because of his involvement in my situation. But ever since then, he's been like a surrogate uncle to me."
"No wonder his coffee is the best. So, do you know where the original is kept?" Ava asks.
I ponder for a moment. Alexei has always been super secretive. If I were to guess, I'd say he keeps it at the Manor, given the extensive security measures there. "No clue," I reply, noticing Ava's frown.
"Hey, Erin," she murmurs, leaning forward.
"Yeah?" I respond.
"You know Griffin would kill him if you asked," she says, her seemingly innocent face revealing a fierce determination in her eyes.
The thought hadn't crossed my mind until now. Alexei always maintained that killing one of his kind was impossible, but recent events have proven otherwise. My father, Viktor, shared the same belief as Alexei, and we all know how that ended.
I shake my head at Ava. While the idea of freedom is enticing, Alexei doesn't deserve to die for it.
At my response, Ava bites her bottom lip, her expression turning serious once more. "So you're honestly telling me you haven't been intimate with him?"
Smirking, I arch an eyebrow. "I'm not discussing your mouth here, you Ho!" Ava scolds.
Laughing as she blushes at her words, I give her a gentle nudge. "No, but that's the main reason for the bonding. I mean, for Alexei to engage in intercourse before he's bonded, he needs to be fully covered, and I mean completely, dick and all. Otherwise, he's likely to kill the poor person."
"So, you had to use a condom?"
"No," I smirk, opening my mouth. "See this," I use my index finger to point past my teeth and down my throat, "this is a magical place."
Ava laughs. "Seriously. Everyone knows you're the master, but doesn't it hurt? You know, the electrical part?"
I shrug. "That's why I was chosen. My ability with fire helps me withstand the pain."
"And you got that from your mother's side?"
"Apparently," I reply, still feeling the loss of never knowing her.
"So, Alexei hasn't, you know... without protection?"
I nod. I have no idea what Alexei has and hasn't done. He seems experienced, but sometimes I wonder. Especially when he looks at me as if I am his salvation. Imagine that, Alexei, a virgin... Yeah, Nah.
"Shit, what a waste to the female population," Ava sighs, pushing me back.
"Yep."
I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if Alexei were ordinary. I'm pretty confident there would be no contract, or at least I wouldn't be contracted to him. Then, on second thought, I shudder at the idea of being partnered with one of the other Elementals. The image of Riam comes to mind, causing a coldness to seep into my bones. My father was right. At least Alexei is the best of them.
"So, New Year's?"
"Yes, I'm not sure where it will be, but knowing him, it will most likely be at his manor house."
Grinning, Ava places her hand over her heart and puts on her best posh accent. "Oh darling, it's only a small gathering at my manor house in the country."
"It's not that bad."
"Well, we'll be there. Just tell us when and where, and I'll make sure I wear my tiara," Ava jokes, laughing at her own remark, then waves to someone behind us.
Turning my head, I see Griffin approaching us with his imposing figure. "Did you have a good talk?"
"We did. You?"
"Yes," Griffin replies, cracking his neck and sniffing the air before looking at us both. "The weather is changing. I think it's our time to leave, and Ciara, if you plan to make it back to the city tonight, I would also suggest you leave shortly."
Nodding, I watch Griffin move towards his mate and lift her from her seat, holding her like a child. I smirk as Ava grumbles. "I can walk."
"Why bother walking when I can keep you close?" he murmurs, planting a kiss on her hair and nuzzling her neck. "And this is just the beginning of our alone time together."
"What about Bunny?" I ask, curious about Shay's whereabouts.
Raising his head from Ava's, he grins, his bright teeth shining. "Shay is fetching his truck now and will also be leaving tonight."
"I hate how you never tell me what work you two get up to," Ava pouts, then falls silent, a soft moan escaping her lips. I notice my brother's arm moving under the blanket, which is still wrapped around her.
"Well, as much as I enjoy family time, I think watching my brother finger-bang my BFF is a bit too much for me," I smirk, standing up and draping the woolen blanket back over the chair.
"Hypocrite," Ava moans again, then playfully swats at Griffin. "Wait, My Wolf, I promise I'll make it up to you."
I can tell they're communicating through their bond when Griffin emits a low growl, and I swear his cheeks flush pink.
Smirking once more, Ava and I turn and head back to the Ranch.
****************************************************
After saying goodbye to Siobhan, Eileen, Bridget, and a bunch of others, I hop into the car where Isla's already waiting for me. Shay, Ava, and Griffin are in their ride, so I fire up the engine and get going.
I feel a pang of disappointment for not having the chance to bid farewell to Liam. I wanted him to understand that there are no hard feelings, despite my gut feeling otherwise. Deep down, I know what he's about to do is for the best.
It's hard to admit, but Roisin will make a strong match. Among the eligible she-wolves, aside from Ava and Reagan, Liam's sister, she stands out as the strongest. Isla, on the other hand, lacks strength, likely due to her mother's human blood.
"Ready?" I ask Isla, who sits quietly with her earbuds in place.
With a nod, I release the brake and navigate down the long driveway. Exiting the Ranch gates, Isla tenses and advises me to slow down.
Peering out the window, I spot a figure in the distance, unmistakably Liam. I slow the car and pull over to the side of the road, where Liam rushes to my driver's side and taps on the window.
Lowering the glass, I'm met with amber flashes in his eyes. "Can we talk?"
I glance at Isla, who nods, and park the car. Stepping out, I follow Liam as he leads me a few feet away behind a large tree.
As I round the trunk, I'm suddenly pulled against it, Liam's hands gripping my waist firmly. "Liam," I start, but his kiss cuts me off, filled with manic intensity.
His hands move to my sweatshirt, tearing through the material with sharp nails. "Take it off," he demands, jealousy evident at the sight of my Shay shirt.
I open my mouth to him as the fabric falls to the ground. Wanting to enjoy the kiss reality sets in, and I gently push him away. He growls, his words more like pants, "Not what I want... I don't."
"Fido," I whisper, trying to calm him, understanding his reference to Roisin. "It's okay."
But he growls again, "I hurt you, I want..." His body tenses, his eyes flashing from amber to chocolate, signaling Liam's return to control.
"I'm sorry, Mo Thine," his voice is pained, his eyes downcast in embarrassment. "I'm really struggling to control him when I'm around you."
"I meant it when I said it's okay, Liam. Everything's fine," I assure him before offering my congratulations.
"I didn't want you to find out like that. I told Oscar that I didn't," he confesses.
"Liam," I implore, meeting his gaze. Guilt washes over me as I speak, "It was just one night."
Hearing him growl, I hasten to add, "One fantastic, mind-blowing night that I will always remember and never regret." A dimple pops on his cheek, and I continue, "I know what you're doing is for the future of the pack, even if I think your future mate is a bit of a cow."
This draws a chuckle from Liam, and on a softer note, I add, "We are not the same."
Nodding, Liam moves closer, resting his head on mine. "I wish things were different, Erin."
"Me too," I murmur in agreement.
Walking away from Liam feels like tearing a piece of my soul apart. The invisible pull between us tugs at my heartstrings, the pain akin to a black hole in the cavern of my chest.
As I turn to take one last look at him, I see him groan. "Go, Mo Thine, please!" he pleads, noticing my hesitation, his eyes flashing yellow again.
Knowing that Fido is struggling to take over, I turn on my heel and swiftly make my way back to the car. Climbing inside, Isla gives me a brief glance, blinking once when she notices my now missing sweatshirt, before returning to staring out the window.
Startingthe ignition and pressing down on the gas, I resist the urge to look back, eventhough I feel like I'm leaving a part of myself behind.
*********************************************
Hello Readers
So now we have a much better understanding of the contract and the only way to break it...
As most of you have probably guessed, there is a connection between Liam and Erin. But what is it??
We know why Erin can't act on it. I mean death is a pretty good reason. But does anyone have any theories as to why Liam can't? Remember, nothing is what it seems in my stories...
Anyway - post away!
Don't forget to comment or vote
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KnightWaters