The cars and horns created an unpleasant high-pitched sound, followed by shouting fueled with anger that created a commotion, causing traffic that she couldn't possibly ignore.
Her thoughts were abruptly stopped because of it and somehow, she was glad... To be left from those undesirable thoughts and just be alone... It feels pleasant.
The drivers received unusual glances from the passerby and even mutters that irritated them more, causing them to yell louder.
As her eyes scanned further, the realization that she can fell to her death made her stop and released a sigh.
When is she gonna kill herself?
It's been years, and it felt dreadful and yet, somehow—she couldn't end her unpleasant existence. She was waiting for something she couldn't possibly understand. As she swings her feet and adjusted her sitting posture at the top of a high building, she sighs again.
What was she waiting for?
She shudders at the sudden wind that blows her short black hair while the setting sun highlights her messy strands. She has been sitting there for almost five horrible hours, thinking whether she should destroy herself, and yet, she hasn't moved an inch nor step forward. It was quite easy, just jump and let it all end but, she couldn't understand what she was waiting for.
Maybe it was because she'll inconvenience and bother someone, that once she falls, she might create shocking memories that would forever be implanted on someone else's head—destroying their happiness.
The thought of someone suffering from the sight of her death made her terrible.
Why was it that everything she does, causes suffering? Her family, friends... Even ending her life... It's as if she was born to inflict suffering on those people who love and care for her.
She can just use rope and hang herself but, she couldn't even afford to buy one. It's as if she's too poor to even die. Of course, poverty isn't connected to death but, looking at how she lives— money was one of her main problems.
If she fails to die today, she will have to endure the harsh cold tonight. The actuality that she fails to pay her landlord, that she failed to reach the grade needed to graduate— that she was a failure at everything she does cause her eyes to shed salty tears once more.
Hated by life itself? She loves life, she wants to live but everything was futile. What's the point anyways?
She—with no will left to spare— slowly stands and stares at the distance.
How would it feel like to die from falling?
Left alone in a rotting world crammed with contradictions that cause her to be confused.
Lifting her left foot, waiting for the impulse to push herself to death—she closes her eyes and fell. She felt the sudden harsh wind again, the feeling of achieving freedom from suffering.
It was for a moment—that she felt such sentiment—before she saw someone's hand grabbed her, pulling her away from the freedom she yearned for.
They both fell away from the edge, earning bruises along the way. She groaned and tried to stand but someone was laying on top of her, directly staring at her brown orbs. Blue eyes that glared made her irritated yet anxious.
"Get off me." She spoke, eyes emitting a threatening aura. "Get off!" She yelled but no movements followed.
She was about to punch him but he anticipated it, making him hold her hands tightly to the ground.
"What the hell do you want from me?!" She yelled again but the male remained calm. His eyes were busy studying her features and wondering what events cause her to almost commit suicide, again.
She was the same Kyoko. It's as if nothing changes at all.
"I did what you told me. I came here to say you were right all along."
Perplexity overtook her features as she went silent, allowing him to continue.
"You might not remember but even so, just listen. The goddess, was in fact, immortal. The reason why she created that world was so she can be killed. You were intentionally summoned there since she knew you would understand her and you had the power to kill her. She believed that illusion and you destroyed it. Instead of ending her life forever, I use the last mana to curse her to live in that mortal body— in that ruined world forever. Just like you wanted–"
"What? Um... excuse me but, I don't know you and whatever you're talking about. Goddess?? Kill? Me? Are you sure you're ok?? I'm sorry but you got the wrong person." She fastly mumbled.
"No, you just don't remember it." Narrowing his eyes, he released her arms and got off her. She saw the grief within his features as he moves back and she can't help feeling she did something wrong.
"It's fine," she spoke as her arm covers her eyes. "You can continue your story. I will listen." There was nothing to do anyway. She'd rather wait and hear whatever the male was saying before doing what she wished. Besides, he was also in pain.
"Ah, are you sure?" He questioned as he sat next to her. The female nodded and he smiled.
He told her everything yet she couldn't relate. She treats the whole thing as fiction, a mere story he created to stop her from doing it.
The goddess taking someone else's soul to her alternative world and making that lady suffer so that the lady can blame and kill the goddess. The fact that both the villainess and heroine were puppets by the goddess. The heroine is the mortal vessel of the goddess. It was indeed fiction yet she felt attack.
"So the goddess hates being immortal since she's so lonely and bored? Is that why she wanted to die?"
"Possibly."
"And you said you came from that world? Did the villainess like you? I mean if you succeeded in killing the goddess that also means you'll cease to exist but she stopped you from doing it..."
"Aha, that's a funny conclusion. My interpretation is that she wanted me to succeed in my revenge and if I killed the goddess, I fail. She prevented my failure which is also my greatest desire. If it wasn't for the conclusion she came up with, the goddess would receive a happy ending which is something I don't want."
"Ah, I see. So you made the goddess live in that mortal body forever with no sight and no people to accompany her?"
"I made it possible but the idea belongs to her."
"Oh," she mumbled. The sun they were gazing at, finally went down, and slowly, darkness emerges.
"Today is a very fun day."
It's as if her wish was fulfilled but, what wish was that?
"By the way, what's your name?" She asks.
"Caerus."
☪⚜⤵↘↪↖↗↩〰⏭⏮♟〽❇⚛◻
Caerus/Kairos: the god or personified spirit (daimon) of opportunity (second chances)
The ending is shit. I force myself to publish the last chapters even tho it's disappointing. Ah, I had a lot of ideas but I settled with this one. Seriously, imagining is easier than writing it.
To those people who read and gave support, thank you for killing my procrastination. I appreciate those people who finish reading it until the end.
Wattpad is being shit, I can't
And also the drawing before the chapter.... I tried. I tried. Lol
Until next time.