Ezhilarasi pov:
I love most in this world is sleep. But it is like an dream for me to sleep properly without having any nightmares . I can sleep only by the influence of sleeping tablet.
When am sleeping after having an tablet, if someone try to disturbs my sleep, then they will see my wrath. Because you know what, currently someone is poking my cheeks. Ahhh. Why that intruder didn't leaving me in my beauty land itself.
I tried to turn and sleep. But again that member is disturbing me. Who the heck it is.
"Ahhh" I shouted, because this time that one person pulled my right cheek.Thats it. I just stood up and sat in my bed with rubbing my face.
I opened my eyes slowly. You see today is Sunday. But this intruder didn't allow me to sleep. I turned to see with an angry face who it is. As soon as I turned my anger melts.
How will I be angry over her.
Who is she? It's your question right.
Let me introduce. Its my daughter whose name is Midhuna.
She is 4 year old cute baby girl of mine. Yes she is mine. She is... Well I don't want to think about the past.
She is showing her hands with an bright smile over her face.
I took her in my lap. She immediately hugged me.
"Amma, my stomach is saying it is hungry" she said to me cutely.
"Aww baby, you are hungry. Ohhh, wait let me do some food to you quickly" I said to her and kissed her lips.
"Yuckkk amma, you didn't even brushed. Go away amma. You were tran... Trafering germs" she said to me.
She is always like this. She mocks me literally every minute.
"Okay okay hold on" I said to her. Except her I won't speak with anyone unnecessarily. Because of the life lessons you see.
After doing my morning rituals. I gone to the kitchen to do something.
"Amma, I know you don't know anything. So just do some dosa. It is fine for me" she shouted from hall.
"Midhuna" I shouted her name.
"Okay okay mom. Today its enough." saying this she came towards me.
I scooped her and made her to sit in the kitchen island.
"Amma, can you do some different sidedish. Wait no need, I still rem... Remem.. Remembrrrr, one time I asked you, you did something called cocunut chutney but you forget to put cocunut while gri... Gran...grining. I will have dosa with sugar itself. Don't bot...bo..bither" She said to me.
"Hy that day am in hurry to office. I somehow did some chutney right. Mannerless girl." I said to her.
"Yeah yeah that chutney" she laughed at me and started to eat in kitchen itself, an dosa with sugar.
Our home is very small. With one bedroom, one small kitchen. And one small hall. That's it. We don't have many neighbours here. I will speak with only one neighbour, that too for an emergency only. Her name is sita.
Oh wait!
I didn't give introduction about me. Sorry about that.
Well am Ezhilarasi, which means beauty queen. Its an bullshit. Because the name and me won't ever go along with. Am complete opposite to it.
Yes am plussize girl with an weight of 85 kg. My skin tone is dusky, actually am more into darker side. And there is nothing to exaggreagte about me. So you see am not an beauty queen,you can say ugly dusky queen.
Am working as an PA in "The Victory Hotel". It is one of the leading hotel in tamilnadu. It has some chain of hotels in tamilnadu. But our main branch is in Chennai. So yeah am in Chennai.
I got this work, because accidently I helped the ceo wife from getting accident in road.
The ceo of that company is very generous man. He somehow helped me by giving that job to me. Or else I don't know, how would I survived in this world with my daughter.
Every girl is deserved to be loved.
But am exception. The word love is not written for me in this live. The past which I endured is something, no one had to live an life like mine. Don't think about it Ezhil.
Sunday is leave day. That is the only day, I will speak more with an emotions too. Because am practically surrounded by my daughter only.
She is the only best thing which ever happened to me.
Without her, I don't know what I would have done to myself.
Midhuna don't know anything.
She knows that am her mother. I want it to be that way only.
My daughter, my life,my world.
After switching the gasstove i turned to her.
"Midhuna sweety, what we are going to do for today" I asked her.
"I have an super idea amma. What about vi's.. Visiting Park." she asked me.
She knows that we both are not that much financially stabled. Yes, this job is providing me the enough amount. But I need to take care of her school fees and the home, groceries, every needs. So yeah it's bit difficult. She knows it. She won't ask for any exaggerated things.
I love it in her.
I kissed her forehead.
She smiled. She grabbed my face and kissed my lips and cheeks.
Then she started to eat again. I took her in my arms and gone towards the sofa in the hall. It is an small one.
I made her to sit in the sofa.
"Sweety, don't go anywhere. Be here....." before I say.
"Be here, don't open the door lock. Don't go out. Put the TV volume in low. And for every 2 mins talk to you." Midhuna replied. Uff this girl.
"Yeah. I will go and take bath" saying this I switched on the TV. And gave the remote to her. Then I gone to my room.
I took some clothes from the shelf. Then I gone to the bathroom. It is an small one. But who cares.
I opened the tap. And started to undo my dresses. I won't see in mirror myself. I know am ugly and all. Why to bother myself.
When the water filled in the bucket. I closed the watertap. And started to take bath. Half way through the bathing. I called Midhuna and spoked some mins. I don't want to take any risk. The area which am staying is bit slum area.
This is what I can afford for.
I don't want to mourn again about my life. But I can't able to control myself, so I started to cry. For my past life, my bad luck, for Midhuna, for everything.
After the bath. I just weared some tops and phant. Then I came out and straightly went to the hall. Where she is kneely watching the TV, without even eating. I just gone and switched off the TV. As soon as she seen me. She started to eat like a good lady.
I smiled at her antics.
Usually I won't smile. But with this munchkin, I will. Only she is the light in my dark life. Only she is the Ray of hope in my dark life. Only for her am living. There is nothing to loose hereafter.
For afternoon, we both tried some dish with the help of YouTube.
Nothing we just prepared some vegetable briyani. It is somehow okay to eat.
At evening, we both went to the nearby park. We both enjoyed there. While coming, I bought some parotta parcel. Because her favourite and mine too.
So yeah after having that, I made her to sleep. As she is having the school for tommorow. She is currently studying UKG.
But I can't able to sleep. Those demons won't leave me to sleep. So I gone near the window, and sat in the chair beside it in my bedroom.
For me sleep is an dream. To sleep without an tablet is an dream. Yesterday I took the tablet. So I don't want to take it again.
The mistake which I done, changed my life forever.
I turned and seen Midhuna is sleeping peacefully. It's enough for me.
Its been another 4 hours. I don't want to sleep, but I have work tomorrow. Will try to sleep right. So with thought
I silently took quilt and pillow from the bed and gone to the hall. I put the bed sheet and pillow in the floor and slept.
Somehow I slept. Well it's good.
"Noooooooo please noooooooooooooo" I shouted and woke up. Not Again, when will get rid of these. And seen around me. I wiped my tears.
I seen the time in my mobile, its an 5 am. I woke up and did my morning rituals.
After that I prepared some food. For midhuna and me. Time is around 7, I woke her.
I made her to take bath. Then I too took the bath. After doing every stuffs.
We both were good to go.
We both took the public bus. We first reached her school.
"Sweety, amma will be late. Till that you have to stay in the kindergarden okay" I said to her.
Because the kindergarten is beside the school only. I will not able to reach her earlier. So I mostly made her to stay there. Then I will took her from there.
"Yes amma. Don't worry your sweety won't do anything. Okay" she said to me and kissed my forehead. As I already kneeling down on the school floor.
"Bye amma" saying this she gone inside.
She is an one clever girl.
When I first joined her in school. She asked me who is father and where is mine after seeing her friends father. I don't know what to say to her. So I started to cry before her itself. That is the only time she asked me. After that she didn't ask me still now.
I hope no one bullies her.
I don't know, as who is her father.
But who needs those details sweety. When am there for her.
Thinking about this I again got the tears. When I seen the time it is 8.05.
My work timing is from 8.30 to 5.
The time will be vary. CEO knows that am an single mother, so for that he allocated an time like this. Am happy actually.
From school, the company is only 10 mins. So I started my travel again.
Then I reached the company in 8.20 itself.
When I entered into the company, receptionist said his good morning to me. I just nodded. He is one good soul. Yes he is like an acquaintance for me. He is the only one who I have spoke few words in this company,other than work details. His name is karthik.
When I entered into the lift. There is already an many employee were in the lift. I gone and stood inside it.
"Hi fatty beauty queen" one man mocked me.
I didn't even looked at his side.
"Are you mad man" one other one replied. Everyone knows me. But I knows only few.
They all hate me, because the reason is ceo is somewhat generous towards me.
"She is not an beauty queen. She is fat that I will accept, but beauty queen. She is far from it man." last man said again.
" Hy it's her name description man. Who in the sane mind will call this ugly bitch as beauty queen.she is black, fat what not... " The first one said. Everyone laughed.
I don't care.
"Did you see that the lift is going slow, its because of her weight nithin" again the first one mocked me.
I heaved an sigh.
Still an childish.
As soon as I came into my floor, 25th floor. I came out of the lift.
The building is comprised of 30 floors.
I straightly went towards my cabin. I switched on my monitor.
I started to do my to do list.
CEO will reach around 9.
At 8.50 I gone to the kitchen and prepared the tea for him. Yeah I can sense that you all asking me whether I know or not right. Well to answer yes I know, I learned here only.
After preparing it, I gone towards ceo cabin. I knocked the door.
'Come in' when I heard it. I gone inside the cabin along with the tea and the notepad.
"Sir, your tea" I said to ceo. Whose name is Deepak. He is in his 60's. He had only one son. But he passed away earlier itself. He is running some trust, it seems. He is one good man.
"ahhh Ezhil . I was waiting for your tea only." he said to me.
I nodded my head and placed it in the table.
He took it and started to drank it.
"Sir,
At 10:30 you have video conference with SSO company.
At 12 clock you have an meeting scheduled in Abay 5 star restaurant......." I finished my whole list to him.
He nodded his head.
"For the video conference I need our last 10 years profit and loss details. Could you please make it simple and be precise to me" he asked me.
I nodded my head.
"Right away sir. Anything else" I asked him.
"Just smile beta" he said to me.
I don't know what to do.
It is an rare. And it won't happen. This demons won't let me to smile. It's an fear.
"Okay you may go now" he said to me.
I then gone out of his very spacious cabin.
Then I entered into my cabin and started to do the work which he gave. And also attending the calls. Some I were transferring to ceo sir. Some I itself deals with it.
When I finished the work, I immediately gone there with that file and gave it to him.
After that I continue the same work.
Around 5 I finished every work.
Then I said my work details to deepak sir. And gone out.
I straightly went to the school premises.
Then I entered into kindergarten where my daughter is doing her homework by sitting.
I gone towards her.
After seeing me.
"Amma I finished ho.. Homework. We will play okay" she said to me
I laughed at her. With her I can smile automatically.
But other than her I can't smile.
I scoop her in my arms I said my thanks to the Incharge. Then we both gone to our home.
I prepared some baji to her. It is not upto the level. But am progressing yaar.
She ate it without complaining to me.
Hhahhba.
Then we both played for sometime, yes hide and seek only.
We both may be poor, but we both were content with our happiness.
I scooped her in my arms, as she is soo tired. I took her to our room. I placed her in the bed and kissed her forehead. She slept immediately, because of the tiredness.
I sat beside her.
"Thanks for coming into my life,
And showering your love towards me sweety.
If not for you, I would have give up my life a long back"
I then gone out of the room. As I don't want to wake my girl because of my shouting.
I don't want to mourn again and again. But.....
My past....
Flashback:
(Ezhilaarasi pov) 12 years ago!
"Good morning father" I said to my father.
He nodded his head and started to read the paper.
Am currently studying 7 th standard. Am an bright student in studies. My favourite is maths.
I gone towards mom who is working in the kitchen. I gone and hugged her from behind.
She unwrapped my hands and turned towards me.
"Iniya don't bother me. Amma is working right" amma said to me. Yes I have an two names one is Ezhilarasi and another one is Iniya which means sweet.
No one will call me with Ezhilarasi in front of father. Yes he hate me to the core. Anyone will hate me.
I nodded my head at her. But sensing my sad face,she kissed my forehead.
I instantly got happy. Who will not when your mom kissed at your forehead.
Then I gone to the hall and thought of having the seat beside my father. But I stopped. Because there stood my big brother.
Or should I say my Step brother.
Suresh.
I don't like him neither hate him. He is like an nightmare to me. Just 2 years elder. So I straightly started to climb the stairs. While am climbing I just turned back and seen what is happening in the hall. Because of that I didn't see who is coming on my way.
I got collided.
Because of the force, I falled in the stair step itself. Good thing I just hold the stair barrister.
Nothing happened. Ufff.
I stood up and seen who is the intruder.
There my little brother is lying in the floor. I showed my hand to him.
But he ignored that and stood up on his own.
"Fatty don't you have eyes. Watch while you walking. Such an ugly duckling. On morning itself, I have seen you. This day going to be an worst day. Uff. Bad omen. Go away " he shouted at me.
I just slightly moved and gave him a way.
I don't give comeback. If I give, then I know what will happen.
He is younger me by 2 years. His name is Abinash. He is my half brother.
Then I gone to my very small room and sat in my bed. And opened the window pane, started to see the site seeing. This is an village which is situated in between the Chennai and Thiruvallur District in tamilnadu.
Okay okay. I know you may have different questions. Let me say properly.
My dad and mom marriage is an remarriage for both of them.
I born for my mom Rohini and dad Sathyam who is my real dad. My mom and dad had an love marriage. But after 2 months, my dad got into an accident. And he died on the spot.
My mom parents are rich in this village. They are against this marriage from the start. But my mom and dad had an hidden marriage. They both gone from this village and started their life. But after 2 months my dad died.
Because of that, my mom don't know what to do after that. So she again came to our village.
Then my grandparents are thought of marrying my mom to another male. But no one came to marry my mom. As she is already married right. My step father who is worked for my grandparents accepted to marry my mom. As he already loved my mom, before his marriage. So he immediately accepted when he got the chance, as he is also an widower. After giving birth to Suresh his real mom died. So it's an easy situation. Because my mom is their only daughter. But my mom protested at first, but after a lot of persistent my mom accepted. And married my step father whose name is Manikandan.
Their marriage happened in next 10 days after my real dad dued. When my step father tied the thaali around my mom neck, my mom fainted in that mandap itself. When they checked mom, they got to know, that she is pregnant.
My step father said its okay. Because he is also having the boy right.
So yeah, no one loves me. Because everyone hate my real father. As he is from different caste or something like that. I too don't know the real reason. My mom is one beautiful woman. Anyone can love her just for beautiness.
But am more like my dad, I mean I look alike him, skin tone everything is my dad.
Only difference is am an plussize that's it. This is what my amma said to me. yeah I didn't seen my real dad photo as it's banned in this house. Mom too started to love my step father. So am an unwanted one here. But alas my amma loves me, atleast that is what am thinking.
Coming to father my step dad, he don't like me. He loves my amma very much, but that doesn't mean he has to accept me right. So yeah he don't like me.
He will speak, if I ask any questions. Which might be an one word answer. That too because of my mom. My both brothers dont like me, because one reason is am ugly, two am an unwanted child, three am fat. Simple right. So basically, my step brother and half brother don't like me. And other reasons were they both love father very much.
Those four members are perfect family.
They all go out, if mom asked me to come along with them. I won't go, As my both brothers will always threaten me to say no. Or else they will slap me.
Suresh love his step mom akka my mom. That is happy for me. And the same way mom too love him.
But in my situation, step dad won't love me. He is adjusting me just because mom is loving me. Yeah mom is the one who stand beside me in every situation.
I don't know whether she love me or not. Because she mostly won't show directly to me.
But I love her soo much.
Because, if it's not her. I would have been an orphan right.
An orphan!
Character sketch:
Rohini- Ezhil's mom
Sathyam - Ezhil's real dad
Manikandan - Ezhil's step dad
Suresh - Ezhil's step elder btother
Abinash - Ezhil's half younger brother
Ezhil and Iniya is same❣️
Author's note:
Thank you all!
My second story, please support to this too❣️.
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Missed you all in the past one week!
The italic words will be the past!.
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Love yourself❣️