CHAPTER EIGHT.
Breakfast had been as loud and talkative as usual but Kirigan was - of course - absent from his chair. Liliya didn't mind, she had seen him a few hours earlier. The fact that she had cuddled with him not a few hours earlier felt strange. He never seemed like the type and yet there they had been. He had moved to cuddle her closer. It was cute but she didn't allow herself to get too distracted.
She went through to the library and ended up studying for a few hours along. Curled up in the corner as she reread things that she knew. Eventually, Arina found her and the two went out to train together. Arina was uncharacteristically quiet and rather than allowing herself to babble or tease Liliya, she was silent.
They trained with an odd amount of aggression but Liliya managed to come out on top. It was exhausting and Arina being like this was something she hadn't expected. Everything was fine or had been fine. After Genya and the argument, they'd been distant but they had apologised to each other. Liliya was realising quickly that maybe that wasn't enough.
"Where are you going now?" Liliya asked as they headed towards the door of the training room. Arina shrugged and pulled it open. The afternoon sun was lowering now but it was going to a while until it fully set. The summer days stretched long in the Little Palace and Liliya always tried to enjoy them.
"I'm going down to the school to assist with the kids," Arina said as they walked away. Liliya sighed and then grabbed Arina's hand, stopping her in her tracks.
"Can we talk? You've been acting strange since Genya," Liliya asked. Arina sighed and nodded, turning around to face the redhead. She pushed a smile onto her lips and let her hands rest at her side.
"What's up?" Arina asked. Liliya watched her for a moment, trying to work out if she actually wasn't aware. But the awkward way her hands were resting and the fake way she smiled told Liliya everything she needed to know.
"I understand that I shouldn't have shouted at you and argued with you. You had every right to leave if you wanted to but it's my choice who I spend time with. It was a mistake to fall asleep with her because it caused issues outside of our friendship. I'm sorry for shouting. I don't know what else to tell you other than I'm sorry for shouting," Liliya said as she adjusted her kefta. The pleading look in her eyes made Arina sigh.
"But you're not sorry. You could have said those when I first came back. Expressed how you were frustrated that I left but instead you ignored it and screamed at me after I found you in bed with someone who isn't worth your time," Arina spat. Her fake smile dropping and turning into a scowl. She glanced around, there were a few Grisha around but most of them were gone.
"Maybe I just wanted to talk to my best friend rather than bringing up all my issues. I was happy to see you but I'm not going to argue with you over this. I'm sorry, okay? Now, keep being childish or just talk to me," Liliya said as she stepped back. Arina was making her feel like a dramatic teenager having friendship problems. They were grown women not two schoolgirls. Arina was being immature and Liliya couldn't handle it.
"You're a bastard, Liliya. I hope Ivan treats you well," Arina responded, her scowl deepening as she stepped away. The two began to walk separate ways before Liliya scoffed.
"I rejected Ivan a long time ago," She called before Liliya just left. There was no way she was going to give in to Arina's snarky remarks. They both knew how she stood with Ivan. He was a friend and most of the time, he was an acquaintance. He was older than him and infuriating. He had some odd superiority complex and Liliya was usually fine with it. But since the mission to Shu Han, something was different. Liliya didn't like it.
However, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. It was not worth her time. Arina wasn't worth her time at the moment. She finally felt context. Kirigan might just be using her for all Liliya knew but she at least had him. It was better than nothing and he seemed to enjoy her company. She just hoped that what they had wouldn't stop him from sending her after the Shu boy. She needed to get him for Kirigan and to prove it to herself that she could.
Her thoughts ran away with her as she trudged to her room. The monotony of the day was beginning to get to her. Without Genya around to break it up, it was tiring. Liliya didn't know when Genya would be allowed to see her again, she just hoped it was soon. She missed the woman's smiles and teasing remarks. She also missed being able to talk to someone without fear of judgement. It was nice.
Liliya walked into her room and pulled her kefta off, discarding it on the dresser. She crossed over to the bathroom, snatching up her hairbrush. Pulling her hair out of the ponytail, she began to brush through it. Her under eye bags were still visible and Genya's work had worn off the previous day. She hoped that Kirigan didn't mind. She hadn't even stop to consider her appearance around him. She probably looked a mess the previous day.
She placed the brush down on the sink and stepped back, pushing her fingers through her hair. Did he care what she looked like? Suddenly, she was reconsidering everything. Her fingers moved to the collar of her blouse and pulled it down slightly. Her gaze flicking over the two deep scars and she wondered if he had seen them. She had turned away from him when she changed but had his shirt shown them. She hadn't even considered that.
But before she could question it further, there was a hand around her waist. She expected it to be Kirigan or Genya but when she looked back, she was met with an unfamiliar face. An unfamiliar face and a knife pressed against her belly.
"Quiet, girl, or I'll kill you quickly," The man said. His accent was thick and she was sure that it was Shu. It must have been a Shu accent. A million questions flew through her head as she turned her gaze away from him. Her breathing became shallow. Her hands shaking. She knew that she had to stay calm. These situations were familiar. It was not the first time she had been threatened. Staying calm was the objective. She nodded her head in compliance and he pulled her back. She quickly lost her footing and was dragged towards the bathtub. Far from the door on the other side of the room. At least he was smart.
"Who are you?" Liliya asked as she stood in front of the tub. Her hands gripping the edge of the porcelain. The Shu man was stood in front of her now, crowding her and giving her no way of escaping. The knife pressed harder into her belly. The material of the blouse slicing under the pressure. It was at the same level as her intestines it seemed which meant that he probably wasn't trying to kill her. That brought her some relief.
"That doesn't matter. I just have a message for you. If you happen to survive this, I want you to know that the boy will never be found," The man said as he pushed the knife into her intestines. A cry of pain escaped her lips as it sliced through her skin and pushed into her. A whimper escaping her lips as her body collapsed to the floor. Her hands moving to press against the wound. The knife still embedded within her.
The man then turned away from her and she watched him leave, closing the door of the bathroom. The lock clicked and a soft whimper escaped her lips. The sound of the second door clicking was faint but still there. She was trapped and she couldn't stand. Even if she wanted to. One hand stayed pressed against the wound as she used the other to try and push herself up. Her fingers grappling for the edge of the bath tub. It only became smeared in red and it slipped.
The pain that ebbed through her body made it impossible to focus. To grip. All she could think about was the blood, the pain. The shocks of pain that pushed through her body at any movement. Even breathing was painful. She didn't know what to do and she realised that nobody was going to find her.
Genya was stuck with the Queen. Arina hated her. Ivan never came to her room. Kirigan was busy. He was the General of the Second Army and she was stuck in her room. Even if she somehow managed to get up, there was no way she could open the door.
Liliya managed to push herself to lie on her back. Her mind too foggy to even know if this was a good idea. She reached out for the towel on the edge of the bath and wrapped it around where the knife was embedded into her. Trying everything she could to press it down. Her head was lifted for a moment to check the wound but it made her neck and head ache so dropped it back against the tile.
If there was just some way out of the room. The window would only cause her more pain, she was on a higher floor and she would likely die. Getting up would be difficult as is. Maybe someone would find her. It would be at least half an hour before dinner and if Arina wanted to find her - like she usually did - maybe she'd find her.
However, that felt completely unlikely. After their spat, Liliya doubted that Arina even cared enough to come. She was too frustrated. Liliya had nobody else. So, she clung to the miraculous hope that Genya or Kirigan would show up. She was supposed to be meeting him that night so maybe he would get suspicious if she didn't show up.
But that gave her a few hours of lying bleeding out on the floor. Which didn't sound great either. Everything felt hopeless and the tears quickly began to fall. Her hand moving to press against her face, squeezing her eyes shut. She didn't want to sob, it would only make the wound hurt more. But it didn't work.
The sob escaped and her whole body moved with the feeling. Only making her sob harder, the pain was overwhelming. Tears falling quickly as she tried to stifle herself. Doing everything she possibly could to try and stop. Taking deep breaths but the longer she stared at the ceiling, the harder it got. She had been prepared for this, this wasn't the first time but people would have been aware if this was in the field. Stuck in the confines of the Little Palace, nobody would have expected a Shu man to sneak in and stab a Grisha. It just didn't happen.
It wasn't entirely clear how long she had been lying on the floor. The sun had lowered in the sky but everything was a blur. All she felt was the pain. The never-ending pain. It was exhausting. She had heard the noises, people in the corridors. They had clearly been walking around but nobody came to the door. She hadn't even heard a knock.
She had managed to sit herself up against the bathtub but now the floor was stained in crimson. Everything was red. The evidence of her blood was everywhere but she was still here. She was alive. She didn't know for how long. It felt like she was going to start losing consciousness soon. She was sure of that. She was just hoping somebody would find her, praying someone would. Praying to every Saint she could think of for one more chance.
And then it came. She heard a door open and then movement. Steps, they were slow and calculated. It didn't sound like Genya. She'd announce herself and come rushing through to find the redhead. The steps wouldn't be Arina either. She walked quickly and she had purpose. They seemed unsure.
"Liya?" A voice called as she heard the door handle rattle. The familiar voice of Kirigan. The relief flooded her system but when she opened her mouth to speak, she realised that she didn't know what to say. He pushed the door handle again, "Why is this locked?" He asked, his voice louder. Liliya wanted to respond but the words wouldn't come out. Her responses felt slow and her fingers were sticky with red blood that was still seeping from her wound.
It seemed that Kirigan had become frustrated with the lack of response and the door's lock clicked open. He then pushed the door open and his eyes widened at the sight of her. He looked around, in search of anyone, but when he found nothing, he rushed over to her. He knelt down beside her and Liliya just stared at him, her mouth hung open. Words not coming out despite her desperate want to tell him what happened.
"It hurts," She said suddenly. Kirigan nodded and he took a hold of her, moving her to lie back down. The blood was everywhere and his gaze continued to flick over it. It was clear that it unsettled him. His hands moved quickly, grabbing the towel and throwing it into the bathtub. He then grabbed another from the side and pushed down against the wound.
"How long have you been here?" He asked. She was deathly pale, the colour drained from her face. Blood spread across her pale cheeks and congealed in her red locks. He didn't want to leave to call for a medik but he knew he would have to.
"I... can't remember..." Liliya said, her voice was graspy and low. He nodded and then he took her hands. The blood was all over them. It was still sticky and it was now covering his own fingers.
"Keep pressure on this, I will get a medik. Don't move," He ordered as he moved to stand up. Liliya did so, staring up at the ceiling again. Her grip was weak, the energy drained out of her. Kirigan finding her was lucky and she was wondering how long that luck was really going to last.
Her head lolled to the side as she felt how heavy her eyelids were. The want to sleep was overwhelming and now that she knew she was safe, Kirigan had found her, she didn't feel like fighting any longer. Her hands relaxed against the towel, one of them slipping to lie next to her. Her eyes closing as she heard rushed footsteps.
"I need to speak to Ivan. Heal her," The commanding voice of Kirigan was all she heard before she fell unconscious.
***
When she woke up, she was happy to not be met with a wave of pain. Instead, Liliya could feel nothing at all. It was dark when she opened her eyes. The whole room was pitch black and she wasn't entirely sure where she was. Her head turning to the side and she saw someone stood there. A dark shadow-y figure stood in the corner and she squinted, trying to work out who that was.
But before she could work out who it was, someone was next to her. Two hands over her heart and the darkness took over again. Her heart slowing as she ebbed into another blissful sleep.
***
Her heart thumped as she sat up, her eyes widening as she looked around. The bed that she had been lying on was gone. There was just a room around it. It was dark, quiet. Deafeningly so. The walls were practically pitch black and there was no way she could discern what they were made out of . Her hands reached out and she pushed herself to the floor.
Her whole body tilting and she stumbled before catching herself against the wall. The whole room seemed to tilt and she stumbled. Her body being thrown against the wall as she let out a whimper of pain. Blood suddenly blooming across her blouse, a knife embedded into her stomach.
The boy was then stood in front of her. Taller but it was him. She was sure of it. But the longer she looked, the more she saw him, someone else. That wasn't the boy, her fingers clutched onto the knife and she pulled it out. Running towards the door but the man had a hold of her ankle, dragging her away.
***
A whimper escaped her lips as she felt someone's hand against her stomach. The pain pulsating through her body and she let out a soft cry. Her arms were weak but she still tried to lift them. Tried to pull them away but she couldn't. Nothing was responding, she was exhausted.
"Is she awake?" A voice asked. It was such a familiar cadence but who, she didn't know. Names played at the back of her mind but nothing seemed to make sense. She couldn't think. She didn't know and then she felt another set of hands.
"He wants her rested, put her under again," Another voice came. That one was feminine. Also familiar. Who was around her? She didn't know but then the exhaustion came back. Her heartbeat slowing once again as she was lulled back into sleep.
***
"You will kill her, Ivan," The familiar voice. A very familiar voice. A name... Aria, Ariel. Liliya couldn't place it but she knew it was someone. She knew who they were and Ivan. She knew that name, she knew who that was. Her eyes tried to open but they fell closed before she even got a glimpse of the world around her. She was exhausted.
"General wants her well-rested. She is exhausted," The male voice replied. It was so familiar and then she realised. Ivan. He was slowing her heart down. He was sending her into sleep. She didn't want this. She let out a soft groan and managed to lift her head, searching to push someone away.
"Put her back under," A third voice joined the conversation. This one was much more stern but calm. She didn't have time to comprehend who it was before she was asleep again. Her mind allowing the peace to take over.
***
The forest was dark. The grass was damp beneath her fingertips and the kefta she wore was torn in so many places. Her whole body ached as her fingers gripped the grass. The blades slipping out of her grip as she felt herself begin to fall. The world had tilted and she was tumbling towards the ground.
Her eyes squeezed shut as her body collided with water. The sound as she hit the surface was silent. There was just quiet and she opened her eyes. An unfamiliar face staring back at her and she tilted her head. The knife was then slammed into it and pulled out in a second.
The blood pouring into the water and she watched as it floated in front of her face. Her head felt like it was going to explode and then nothing.
***
She was awake again, jolted to consciousness by the nightmare. She heard a sigh and pushed herself to open her eyes. Her head lolled to the side and Kirigan was stood there. His hands rested as his side as he stared down at her. He looked exasperated and then nodded towards someone. Liliya met his gaze.
"Don't..." She begged softly. Her voice was croaky, soft, barely even audible but he heard her. His hand gesturing for Ivan to stop with his movements. He looked down at her and tilted his head, "I don't need it..." She muttered as her eyes fell closed again. Exhaustion taking over. She could fall into sleep on her own accord. She didn't need Ivan. Not with how her body felt.
"I will call you back if she needs you," Kirigan said. There was a short exchange that Liliya didn't have the energy to listen to. Her eyes staying closed. Her whole body relaxing as she moved to lie on her stomach. But her body jolted over, forcing her mind awake. Realising that she had a knife in her last time she had been awake. Whenever that was.
"Oh..." She muttered when she saw that it was gone. Her hands were still covered in blood but she was okay. Her head fell back down against the pillow. Her whole body was exhausted and then she felt the mattress dip. A hand in her hair, softly stroking it.
"I will speak to you in the morning," He said before he stood up. Liliya heard as he began to walk away but she fell into sleep quickly. The world became dead to her, the only thing keeping her company was the silence of the void.
***
The sun was shining through the window of the Infirmary when she woke up again. Her eyes fluttering open as she let out a soft groan. Her face burying in the pillow as she pulled the covers tighter around her body. They were so soft and she forgot for a moment that the Healers were most likely walking around.
She heard moment and then the mattress sank. Her head tilted to look at who it was. Genya sat there with a small smile on her face. She ran her fingers through Liliya's hair and the redhead let out a mutter of approval. Genya chuckled softly.
"I left some pastries in your room. The Queen is letting me leave only once in a day. So I brought them for you," Genya explained. Liliya nodded and then pushed herself onto her back. Her limbs felt stiff and she was still exhausted but she was happy to see Genya. It felt like so long since she had seen the woman.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems," Liliya muttered. Genya then assisted her with sitting up against the headboard but she shook her head, tucking Liliya's hair behind the woman's ear.
"It's okay. I fell asleep. Plus, the Queen saw a week away as a sufficient punishment," Genya explained. Liliya's face morphed into one of confusion, her hands rubbing her face. She must have misheard.
"A week?" She asked. Genya nodded and moved to sit on the chair that was next to the bed. Putting space between them when she saw that Kirigan had walked in.
"Ivan has been keeping you asleep for a few days. You nearly died," Genya explained. Liliya looked up, looking into her eyes. A few days. That meant that the man who had attacked her would be long gone and his message. The boy. She needed to find him.
"I need to find the boy. I need to speak to Kirigan," Liliya said as she kicked the covers back. She then slid off the bed, stumbling slightly before stood up straight. Her legs felt weak from lack of use but that would soon change.
"I am here," Kirigan said causing Liliya's head to whip in his direction. She straightened up the blouse she was wearing, realising that she was in the same clothes. She probably looked a mess but there were more important things.
"The boy, I need to join the trackers. I need to find him," Liliya argued as she walked closer to him. Kirigan shook his head, glancing over at Genya before meeting Liliya's gaze once again.
"We will talk about this once you are washed and changed. Genya, the Queen wants you back. I'll speak to you tomorrow," Kirigan said, directing his attention to the girl. Genya nodded and stood up. She gave Liliya an apologetic smile before disappearing out of the room. Once the door was closed, Liliya let her head fall against Kirigan's chest. They were alone in the room and she just wanted to be close to him.
"How many days was I sleeping?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He was cautious but let one of his hands wrap around her waist.
"Four days. You kept waking up but you needed to sleep," He responded. Liliya nodded and then stepped back from him, adjusting the sleeves of her blouse before glancing around, "Go to your room and clean up. I will be waiting in my office when you want to talk," He said as he stepped back. He then turned and left the room. Leaving the redhead staring at the back of his head. She didn't expect anything more. They were in public after all.
So Liliya took a breathe and sucked it up. She needed a bath and a change of clothes. She just hoped that her room had been cleaned.
***
author's note! hi hi! this is one of the longer chapters and i actually have put it out before 8pm (british time) like?? DAMN, tbh today was my break day from revision so i didn't really do anything other than write since most of my homework is done, tomorrow isn't gonna be the same so im not entirely sure if a chapter will come out or if it does, it'll be a late on, we shall see! but okay, this chapter, it's a mess honestly but i kinda like it, we're in this kinda long section where imma pull some plot points together and fun stuff is gonna happen!! but basically, i'm not happy with how her emotions are portrayed, i'm having a very not-feeling emotions day (which is new) so like she is very calm which i think is partially realistic since she has dealt with this before but also might just be cause of my lack of emotions so sorry about any messiness of this chapter BUT YEAH! i hope you enjoyed and thank you all for reading <3