Serena didn't even spend the next four nights alone. She fell asleep in his arms every night and woke up in his arms the next morning. In this short time she had gotten so used to it that she could hardly remember what it was like to have spent the nights without him.
But never before had Serena felt more useless these days. They always waited for one of the informants to contact them, but Serena wasn't quite sure what to do with herself in all this waiting time. So on the fourth day she strolled a little restlessly through her cottage with no particular destination in mind. While she almost literally twiddled her thumbs, Sebastian mostly took care that the cottage was tidy and that she was always fine.
At some point, Serena ended up in the salon again, where she stopped in front of one of the many dressers. If I don't have anything to do, then I can tidy up a bit here too, she said to herself, glad to have finally found something to do.
A little lost in thought, she opened the chest of drawers and looked down at the contents. But there was hardly anything in it that she could have sorted out. All she found was a few old bills and other notes that she herself had never seen before in her life. Serena could have taken all this paperwork and disposed of it, but strange as it was, she couldn't really bring herself to do it. If it had been herself who had put these things there, she would not have hesitated for a second, but since that was not the case, she simply did not want to do it. It felt kind of wrong.
"It wasn't exactly a lot of tidying up.", she mumbled to herself and was about to close the drawer when her eyes fell on a certain piece of paper. It said "Serena" in a scrawly font and very carefully she reached out her hand for it.
This little piece of paper was actually the only piece of paper that she had put in this drawer herself, but she would never part with this one. Very gently, as if the paper could instantly crumble when she touched it, she took it out and carefully unfolded it.
The same scrawly script read on the note, "I'm very, very, very, very sorry. I love you, sister!". Even though these simple words might have no meaning at first glance, Serena felt the tears welling up in her eyes. As if petrified, she just stood there and looked down at that awkward handwriting. But despite the light tears in her eyes, she had to smile very weakly.
The handwriting belonged to Hyder and Serena could still very clearly remember the day he had sent her this little letter. He was only five years old at the time and had only just learned to write. She remembered exactly how proud she had been of him then, since he had already been able to write at that age.
It had been a Sunday and the cook had made a large pudding for the whole family. When this was due to be served, however, she had only found an empty plate in the kitchen. Almost in tears, the cook had stormed to Serena's parents and had told them about it. Serena could still see it right in front of her, as all eyes immediately had wandered to little Hyder, who had sat at the table with wide eyes. It had been obvious that he had finished the pudding all by himself, even if that was quite an accomplishment for his height. But no one else was an option, and just the look that Hyder had guiltily thrown at his older sister had dispelled any doubts.
Of course, they had all attacked the little guy immediately and as if it had been yesterday, Serena still felt the tug in her heart that she had felt at the sight of him. Without further ado, she had got up from the table and admitted that, in a fit of hunger, she had eaten all of the pudding. Her parents had been skeptical, of course, but Serena had insisted on her opinion so much that they eventually had let go of her little brother. As a punishment for her behavior, they immediately had sent Serena to her room and forbade her to leave it or even to let other people in. She had accepted this in silence and gave Hyder a short wink when she left the room.
On the evening of the same day this little letter had suddenly been pushed under her door. Serena's smile widened as she remembered how much it had warmed her heart to read that little piece of paper from her brother.
Did you read it, Serena? he had asked through the door his voice very carefully and guilty.
Yes I have. And you don't have to be sorry., had been her answer and she could literally hear how he breathed a sigh of relief in the hallway. Then it had been quiet outside for a short while.
And you are not allowed outside?, he had asked and the incomprehension in his voice had made Serena laugh. Of course, both of them had found this punishment far too harsh, but Serena had neither the desire nor the muse to rebel against her parents' rules. They would have had their reasons, she had simply thought at the time.
They had spent the whole evening like that. Serena had been sitting on the floor with her back to the door, probably much like Hyder out in the hallway. Serena had told him stories, he had cheered her up with jokes he had heard from the nanny, and they had talked about the injustice of parental punishment. It was one of those moments when there was just the two of them, just the siblings sticking together and making each other laugh.
A single tear dripped onto the little piece of paper in Serena's hands when she remembered that beautiful moment. Startled, she immediately wiped it off the sheet of paper, fearing it might get damaged. What would she give to be able to experience such a moment again with her little Hyder. She had always promised him that she would be there for him, that she would always protect him from all harm. But she had broken her promise and more than ever before she felt infinitely helpless and stupid because she still had not been able to find him.
"Lady Serena?", she suddenly heard Sebastian say directly behind her and she whirled around, startled. With his head cocked, he looked at her with worried eyes and carefully took her hands. His gaze fell on the little piece of paper and he raised one of his eyebrows questioningly.
"What about you?", he asked in a low voice and with a little flushed cheeks Serena looked briefly at the floor, but still held the note tightly in her hand.
"It ... is nothing.", she began, "Just a memory of my little brother.". Carefully she raised her head again and looked him straight in the eye. Sebastian was silent for a brief moment before he pulled her very gently into his arms and just hugged her.
With a low sigh, she closed her arms around his chest and leaned her head on his shoulder. Just his touch was good for her and the knowledge that he cared for her, that he was there for her, let the pain in her heart subside a little. Sometimes he seemed just what she needed to be able to ease her sadness.
"Lady Serena?", he asked cautiously, after he had just held her in his arms for a while, "May I allow myself to ask what you intend to do when you finally have your brother with you again?". Very slowly she pulled away from him a little to be able to look at him. So many times she had asked herself this question, but each time the answer had pushed away. She had never wanted to think about it before, she didn't even know if she really could.
Unable to answer him immediately, she could just look at him and Sebastian waited silently. They just stood there excruciatingly long and she could literally feel his tension at this question. This question seemed to have preoccupied him, too, but Serena didn't really want to think about his answer either.
"That ... will show up somehow.", she finally mumbled. She knew this meant no answer, but in fact, Serena just couldn't answer him. She was too afraid of the truth they both knew. They both knew that she had promised her soul to the demon in front of her when exactly that point in time came, which he had just mentioned. That was the condition of her contract.
Sebastian just kept looking at her for a moment before nodding very weakly. He seemed to understand that she neither wanted nor could talk about it. Perhaps he felt the same way in this regard, even if he did not fully realize it himself.
"Just stay by my side as long as you can.", she whispered and then pressed a weak kiss on his cheek. Sebastian nodded again and that seemed to end the subject. Neither of them was sad about it, but at the same time it felt like they were about to run away from a huge avalanche.
"Of course, my lady.", he mumbled softly and then looked at her with a gentle smile, "How about some tea?".
"I would love to.", she replied with a grin and shoved the dark thoughts into the farthest corner of her head, as so often before. With a sideways nod of the head he finally broke away from her and went to serve her the tea.
Sebastian hardly left her side for the rest of the day. It almost seemed to her that he was taking her request a little too literally, but he probably had nothing else to do either. They passed the time together until it was evening and Serena went to bed.
As in the previous evenings, he stayed with her at this time and was already wearing only airy, dark trousers on her bed while she was still slipping into her nightgown. He had his arms crossed behind his head and was watching her a little too conspicuously as she changed.
Sometimes Serena had caught herself thinking that this was how it must feel to be married, but each time she'd quickly shook her head at herself. The idea of Sebastian being her husband was amusing to her in a way, but it was still hard for her to see him in that role. Despite his tenderness and concern for her, she knew that a demon like him would never slip into such a human role.
"What are you thinking about, Lady Serena?", he tore her out of her thoughts and was startled to see that she had grinned slightly stupidly to herself. Too obviously her face turned serious as soon as she looked at him.
"Oh nothing.", she lied, "Just about how you can't seem to stop gazing at me while I'm changing.". With a big grin on his face, he just shrugged.
"Then stop me from doing it.", he countered and gave her a challenging look. With a slight pout, she gave him an appraising look before brushing her hair superficially. She knew as well as he that she would never be able to stop him. Actually, she didn't want that either, she liked it when he looked at her like that. But at least she had been able to distract her from her confused husband thoughts.
Finally she put the brush aside and went over to the bed. With a soft, satisfied smile, she placed herself next to him and snuggled close to the demon. It was already so familiar to Serena that he pulled the wide blanket over her body and put an arm around her. With a low sigh, she snuggled up to Sebastian and closed her eyes so that she could fall asleep in his arms again.
When Serena woke up, it was still the middle of the night. Confused, she straightened up a little and only then did she realize why she had woken up in the first place. She was alone in bed and as strange as it was, this fact scared her immediately. Sebastian had never left her alone for a moment in the past few nights, she knew that. Now she was lying here, alone in the dark and an uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach.
"Sebastian?", she called out and sat up straight. For a moment she listened to the overwhelming silence, but he did not come.
That was the moment when panic formed in her heart. Because if he did not answer her call, it did not mean that he did not hear her, but that he was unable to come to her.
Published on 04-17-2021
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